
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7954507.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con,
      Underage
  Category:
      F/F, F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Draco_Malfoy/Harry_Potter, Cedric_Diggory/Chadwick_Boot, Terry_Boot/Luna
      Lovegood, Cho_Chang/Original_Male_Character(s), Hermione_Granger/Kasper
      Diggory, Webster_Boot/Blaise_Zabini, Astoria_Greengrass/Max_Malfoy, Draco
      Malfoy_&_Original_Male_Character(s), Regulus_Black_&_Sirius_Black, Harry
      Potter/Original_Female_Character(s), Ginny_Weasley/Sam_Winchester, Dean
      Winchester/Castiel
  Character:
      Draco_Malfoy, Regulus_Black, Original_Female_Character(s), Original_Male
      Character(s), Cho_Chang, Terry_Boot, Cedric_Diggory, Harry_Potter, Sirius
      Black, Hermione_Granger, Neville_Longbottom, Zacharias_Smith, Pansy
      Parkinson, Blaise_Zabini, Millicent_Bulstrode, Ernie_Macmillan, Remus
      Lupin, Astoria_Greengrass, Daphne_Greengrass, Albus_Dumbledore, Ron
      Weasley, Original_Muggle_Character(s), Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester,
      Castiel, Primrose_Everdeen, Katniss_Everdeen, Peeta_Mellark, Luna
      Lovegood
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Canon_Divergence, Angst_and_Humor, LGBTQ_Themes,
      Ravenclaw, Slytherin_Harry, Ravenclaw_Draco_Malfoy, Dark_Magic, Dark
      Comedy, Funny, Friendship, Romantic_Friendship, Friends_to_Lovers,
      Enemies_to_Friends_to_Lovers, Falling_In_Love, Family_Feels, Family
      Fluff, Good_Draco_Malfoy, Draco_Malfoy_in_the_Muggle_World, Draco_Malfoy
      &_Harry_Potter_Friendship, Fluff_and_Angst, POV_Draco_Malfoy, BAMF_Draco
      Malfoy, BAMF_Harry, Regulus_Black_Lives, Black_Family, Fluff_and_Crack,
      Angst_and_Fluff_and_Smut, Sirius_Black_and_Regulus_Black, Blood_and_Gore,
      Pain, Murder, Torture, Psychological_Torture, Spells_&_Enchantments,
      Curses, Deaf_Character, Weird_Stuff_Happens, There_are_pink_smarty
      brownies, And_nail_bats, And_blue_soup, Nana_Mars_wears_a_tiara_and_a
      muumuu, Sentient_hat_love_story, Gay_Stuff, Bangkok_strippers, Beach
      wishes, Laugh_your_arse_off, Gangsta, Friendship/Love, Fluffy_tennis
      rackets, Livin_la_vida_loca, Singing_Abba_songs_to_sad_people, The_CB,
      The_Comforting_Brush, White_chocolate_coco, Nail_guns_weilded_by_idiots,
      Ridiculous_Purebloods, Hufflepuff_and_Ravenclaw_take_Hogwarts, Battle_of
      the_weirdoes, Straight_people_being_straight, Gay_People_Being_Gay, Gay
      Male_Character, Bisexual_Male_Character, Bisexual_Female_Character,
      Bisexual_people_getting_lucky, Name_drop_from_other_fandoms, Exploding
      bubbles, Reanimated_chickens, ZEBRA_CAPE, Cutlery_tower, Talking_hats
      falling_in_love_with_bitchy_scarves, Blow_jobs_are_weird
  Series:
      Part 1 of The_Weird_and_the_Wonderful
  Collections:
      noch
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-09-04 Updated: 2018-03-04 Chapters: 15/? Words: 92049
****** Draco Black The Ravenclaw ******
by NoapologiesNoexcusesNoregrets
Summary
     Thirteen years ago Draco's parents were murdered by Voldemort. Since
     then he has been raised in secret by Regulus Black in the small
     muggle town of Colbie.
     Regulus has kept Draco safe and away from the wizarding world to
     protect him. But now Draco is fourteen and he's determined to join
     his friends, Cho Chang, Terry Boot and the Diggory brothers at
     Hogwarts.
     When Draco gets to Hogwarts he'll befriend a few unsuspecting
     Gryffindors and Slytherins, become the enemy of anyone and everyone
     by defying convention at every turn, join forces with certain
     Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws to prove that there ARE four houses worth
     being part of, uncover a seemingly endless amount of secrets, and
     find himself strangely embroiled into the dangerous world of one
     Harry James Potter.
     Follow Draco Black and his friends and family as they fight together,
     fall in love, do and say weird things, bicker about nonsense, learn
     from each other, fight some more, and prove that real love is
     infinite and that the bonds of family, both blood and chosen, are
     unbreakable.
     Oh, and of course then there's always Voldemort.
     Can a Ravenclaw Draco and a Slytherin Harry Potter really save the
     Wizarding world?
Notes
     Hellloooo my wonderful humany types, welcome to my new story.
     Honestly the idea for this story came to me whilst I was trying to
     get to sleep and the more I thought about it the more I wanted to
     write it. The basis of this story is 'what if Draco were the boy who
     lived?' But then I was like-'no one wants to read about that'.
     Fortunately a little voice inside my head said 'I want to read about
     it'.
     So now we have this.
     I'm basically writing this to amuse myself (and placate the voice
     inside my head that likes to poke me when I displease it). You all
     know what I mean. And if you don't then...well there is just
     something terribly wrong with you. I'm sorry you had to find out this
     way.
     Right, some warnings:
     -Slash and het and femslash. (Gay and Straight). I can't say exactly
     who the couples will be yet, and I retain my right to change my mind
     at any point.
     -Violence (There could be. For a true action scene to work it needs
     to come with a warning attached. Truth.)
     -Swearing. For real.
     -A bit of OOC behaviour due to circumstances. Draco most obviously
     will be affected the most. But Harry will be a bit different too. And
     some other characters, but nothing outrageously beyond the pale! Not
     going beyond the pale is very important! Write that down on your
     important pad for things that are important!
     -For the sake of argument, lets say this story starts from 2016
     onwards instead of when the originals were set. Because my culture
     references must be free to glomp around and ruin things whenever
     possible.
     -Um...other...stuff...probably...I'll let you know. Promise.
     Just to cover all my bases-I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING
     CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in an alternative universe I do, so that's
     something. I think that alternative universe is right next to the one
     where I'm the King of the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all
     the time.
     All I'm asking is that you give this story a shot to see if you'll
     like it. Now that's over with lets get on with the story my Unicorn
     brethren!
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Truth Crystals Hurt *****
Before we start, I just want to let you all know what you're in for if you
decide to continue on with this story. I don't want any complainy pants types
getting their knickers in a twist because things don't turn out exactly like
they want them to, or because the story, a.k.a my LIFE, doesn't please them.
I won't be offended if you don't like me. I won't be offended if you don't like
my mates, or my family (actually I take that back, Nana Mars is epic and
everyone should love her, because she is amazing and the only people who don't
like her are without a soul and should vacate the premises immediately). I
won't even be offended if you don't like my pet rock, Kevin. Nana Mars still
insists that he is in fact a tortoise, and not a rock she painted to look like
a tortoise when I was six because I kept asking for a dog. I may or may not
have believed her lies for a good few many years. It was a known fact to me as
a child that Nana Mars does not lie. I now know, as a semi sort of not-child
(moron), that lying about rock tortoises apparently doesn't count.
My name is Draco. I live in a small, and when I say small, I really mean
practically vacant, seaside town named 'Colbie'. Also, yes, I know 'Draco',
it's a weird name. I have a weird name. I have weird friends. I have a weird
family. I am weird. Just get on board and accept the madness. It'll be easier
for you in the long run if you do.
I live with my…actually I don't really know what to call Regulus. I'd say
'father' since he pretty much raised me. But to be honest I think of him as
more like my big brother. My annoying big brother.
Either way, we both live in a big creepy old manor-cottage (trust me, it's a
thing) with Nana Mars. She's that insane old lady who everyone secretly hopes
is a witch. The town hag if you will. Those are her words by the way, not mine.
The old hag part I mean. I think she actually enjoys having everyone fear her a
little bit too much. Every year on Halloween she dresses up like a normal
person and tells everyone Halloween is a witch bank holiday.
Of course Nana Mars isn't a witch. She doesn't posses any genuine magical
talent, although she would argue with me on that. Me and Regulus however….yeah,
we're kind of wizards. I mean, not kind of, we arewizards.
For real. With wands and cauldrons and owls and robes and all that shit.
It's actually as ridiculous as it sounds.
In a small beach town like Colbie, everyone knows everyone else, so when me and
Regulus came to live with Nana Mars, we were all people could gossip about for
months. See, my parents were killed by a very powerful dark wizard named
Voldemort when I was one years old. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about
that, even thirteen years later.
Voldemort tried to kill me too. Somehow, he failed. I'm not really sure how to
feel about that information either.
Regulus was one who saved me. Not from Voldemort. But from everyone else. He
knew people would come for me when they found out I'd offed Voldemort with my
invisible baby powers. The whole wizarding world would have wanted a piece of
me. Both Death Eaters and people like Albus Dumbledore would want to have a
hand in my fate.
Voldemort killed my parents because they turned on him. My father, Lucius
Malfoy, had become a spy for the other side in exchange for his freedom once
the war was over and protection for his family.
Apparently Voldemort was tipped off by someone and my parents were forced to go
into hiding. Regulus told me Dumbledore sent my parents to the same place as
the Potter family. We all lived together for a few months before Voldemort
found us.
I had both of my parents taken from me that night. Harry Potter's parents were
taken from him as well. A man named Severus Snape died trying to save his
mother, but by then it was too late. For all of them.
Regulus told me once that he did what he did to atone for all the mistakes he
had made in his life. He'd just become one of Voldemort's Death Eaters at age
nineteen. Voldemort took him to Godrics Hollow as a test.
After Voldemort failed to kill me, and somehow managed to destroy himself by
accident in the process, Regulus found me. He said I was sitting inside a crib.
I wasn't alone. Harry Potter was sitting right next to me, also miraculously
unharmed. Except, according to Regulus, for the lightning bolt scar on his
forehead. A matching scar still adorns my own forehead. Creepy as shit, I say.
Sometimes I think I dream about that night. I wonder if Harry Potter ever
dreams about it too.
Regulus has told me that story a number of times over the years, but he can't
ever quite explain to me why he did it. Even after all this time he still
doesn't know what made him pick me up from that crib and run, taking me with
him.
At first maybe he considered killing me. Finishing his Lord's plan.
In the end, Regulus told me, maybe he was just too much of a coward for that.
I told him once that I don't think there's anything cowardly about not wanting
to kill a child. I was eight when we had that particular conversation.
At least I can say Regulus never lied to me about how things started for us. I
think that matters, maybe more than most people could understand.
Regulus ran with me, and kept on running. It was only days later when he found
himself in Colbie that he stopped. He didn't stop running because of Colbie
though. He stopped running because of Nana Mars.
I'd like to say that I'm a well-adjusted normal human being, despite
everything, but that would be a lie. A big one. I was raised in a home full of
dream catchers, all of which have names by the way. And not mystical names
like...I don't know, Moonlove or Dustyangel...oh no...they're named shit like
'Walter' and 'Luke' and 'Cosmo' (my first dream catcher. I really liked the
Fairly Odd parents, ok). No joke people, Nana Mars has her favourite dream
catcher hanging over her bed. His name is Eugene. Don't ask. Never ask. Not
unless you're prepared for a story full of wackadoodle.
You've been warned, remember that.
Nana Mars has always been there for me though. Regulus and I have a more
complicated relationship for obvious reasons but-
"What are you staring at?" Kasper asks, he leans in close to me and squints, as
if trying to see something off in the distance.
I give him a little shove and reply,
"I'm not staring at anything."
"Looks like you're trying to set the sea on fire with just the power of your
eye balls," Kasper says, and he shoves me back a bit harder. Hard enough in
fact that I fall over and land on my arse on the damp sand.
Kasper starts laughing then, his laughter loud and as all-consuming as usual.
After knowing Kasper for about nine years, I can officially say that he is the
most difficult person to stay mad at in existence. He laughs too much for
anyone to really hate him.
It's almost infuriating
I wrap my arms around Kasper's legs and yank as hard as I can. Kasper is taken
by surprise, so he loses his balance quite easily and comes down next to me on
the sand. He ends up sprawled half on top of me though, and I think I make a
weird squawking sound that no human should be able to accomplish.
"Ah, get off, Kas. Jesus, you're so fat, your fatness is crushing me!" I try to
wriggle out from under him. Kasper is laughing again, and he manages to pin me
beneath him.
Kasper grins down at me and says,
"I think you'll find that's muscle, not fat, Dray. You're just too much of a
skinny shit."
"Fuck off," I snap at him, and try again, uselessly, to remove him from my
immediate personal bubble.
"Tell me what you were thinking just now and I'll get off," Kasper teases, that
stupid grin on his stupid handsome face.
Kasper Diggory is my best friend, and has been since we met when we were five.
I still remember meeting him, and my other two best friends, Terry Boot and Cho
Chang.
They're all wizards and witches too. Against all odds.
Regulus almost had a heart attack when he realised our safe haven had been
invaded by three magical families. Well, only two technically. Terry is
actually a muggleborn, but still, the coincidence that they would all show up
in such a small town is kind of hilarious. Or scary. Maybe both.
If it hadn't been for Nana Mars, then Regulus would have taken me and ran.
Again.
But thankfully instead of leaving, Regulus gathered the Boots, the Diggory's,
and the Chang's together and swore them to secrecy. With magic obviously, he
didn't just go in for a pinkie swear.
They all moved here permanently after that.
Our town is small. We have one school, one church, one strip of shops and one
park. The rest of Colbie is just cottages and beach.
I love Colbie beach, it's my favourite place in the world to be. Not that I've
been that many places outside of Colbie. But I can't imagine ever feeling more
at home anywhere else.
I push my hips up in an attempt to roll Kasper off of me, but he clamps down
tight. Kasper's eyebrows quirk upwards and he says,
"Stop trying to sex me up, Dray, keep your rolly hips down, thank you very
much."
I narrow my eyes at him, a blush creeping up over my face without my
permission.
"You're a prat," I tell Kasper.
But Kasper has already gone off somewhere inside his head where everything I
say is irrelevant. He turns his head away from me and says in a mock distressed
voice,
"I'm sorry, Dray, you're a really amazing mate, and you've got a great arse,
but...I'm just not that into you."
Knobhead times one million.
"I hate you. And your face."
"Because they're separate entities now?"
"Shut up."
"Me, or my face?"
"Both. Both need a serious case of shut up disease."
"Just tell me what was making your eyes go all deep and serious. Like an angry
pigeon."
Kasper presses down on my pinned wrists.
Then my brain tells me to do something that even I'm not sure what to make of:
I start hissing at him. Evil kitty style.
Me: Why?
Brain: Felt like it.
Me: I feel betrayed.
Brain: Deal with it.
"Dray! Stop talking to yourself inside your head like a voice over track on a
bad film," Kasper shakes his head at me, a knowing look on his face.
"I don't do that," I try to cross my arms, realise I can't, and then decide to
cross them metaphorically instead.
"If it's metaphorical then it doesn't count," Kasper tells me. Damn him!
"You know me too well. It's creepy." I say, and yes, my tone is a little whiny.
Sue me.
"Is that what you were doing before? Talking to an imaginary audience?" Kasper
eyes me thoughtfully.
"No, I was monologuing my life story," I say with an overly exasperated huff.
"I didn't think you could have a life story at our age. We're still basically
children. Sort of. Spiritually. Ish. I'm not sure what spiritually means, I
heard Nana Mars say it." Kasper remarks, and he rolls off of my stomach to lay
flat out next to me instead.
I sit up and pull my knees to my chest. I hate it when Kasper pins me down like
that. Only because my teenage libido always decides to betray me and I get
hard.
I kind of wish I could evolve into some kind of asexual being. I thought that
would be nice to not have to worry about being sexually attracted to anyone.
Like a plant. You don't see cactuses getting random boners now do you? No, you
don't.
Not that there's anything wrong with being asexual. Cho always tells me off for
being offensive about things like that, but I can't help it, there are just so
many types of sexual and gender these days that I get confused. Who can keep up
with things like that? Bisexual. Pansexual. Demisexual. Trans-gender. Bi-
gender.
My head hurts just thinking about it all.
I'm nothing complicated or interesting. I like to say I'm gay, end of story. I
said that to Cho once and she called me boring.
"You're doing it again," Kasper says, watching me, his grey eyes look almost
illuminous in the evening light.
It'll be nothing but night sky and crashing waves soon.
Now, don't be having those kind of thoughts you lot. Yes, Kasper is attractive,
funny and he knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I do love him, but
not like that. He's like a brother to me. I'm probably closest to him out of
all our friends
Terry and I don't always get on. In fact within our group of friends/family
members we probably fight the most. He just drives me insane, and I swear he
does it on purpose. He likes to push me to the edge of my sanity and then throw
me off. Cho is usually the one to try and keep the peace between us, and she
mostly succeeds. At least until the next time Terry gets it in his head that he
needs to make me want to strangle him with his own shoe laces.
When I was younger every time I would complain to Nana Mars about how much of a
dickhead Terry is, she'd just get out one her blue 'forgiveness' crystals and
twat me on the head with it. Then she'd go 'there, all better, now go give him
a hug'. So, obviously, I would go and give him a hug, which surprised the shit
out of him the first time I did it. He even apologised. Terry doesn't
apologise. Ever. He's too stubborn most of the time.
Kasper has an older brother, Cedric, and they look almost identical. Both of
them are tall, with messy dark hair, and almost offensively rugged good looks.
Cedric and Kasper have the same bright grey eyes.
But it was the genuine kindness and fierce strength in Kasper's gaze that drew
me in and whispered something to my soul. I know it sounds stupid, but it felt
real to me. It still does.
Cedric on the other hand is a completely separate issue. Kasper's older brother
is a lot like him, strong and kind and fearless. But Cedric is a lot less easy-
going than Kasper. You'd think it would be the other way around really given
where they were sorted at Hogwarts. Cedric is definitely the more determined
and driven brother though.
Kasper complains about it sometimes. He says it's as if Cedric feels like he's
got something to prove. Although, having met their father, I can definitely see
why that would be the case. Mr Diggory is definitely the type of man who
expects his sons to achieve highly in pretty much everything they do. I've
heard him talk for hours, boasting about Cedric's accomplishments.
There are moments when Cedric looks so damn tired of it all. It's different for
him than it is for Kasper, who is quite honest about not giving a flip what his
father thinks. Cedric holds himself to the same impossible standard as his
father holds him to.
I wish I could sympathise, or talk to him like I understand how he feels. But I
don't really. Regulus has high standards for my magic, and he expects me to
work hard when he's teaching me. Outside of that though, Regulus tells me all
the time how proud he is of me, and even when I fail he never seems
disappointed. He just tells me to keep trying until he helps me get it right.
Nana Mars once told me that all she expects from me is what I'm willing to
give.
I jump about four foot in the fucking air when someone clamps their hands down
onto my shoulders. I know who it is before I even turn around though, because I
recognise the feel of his hands, big and warm. I reach around to smack Terry,
but he's already moved out of the way, laughing like it's the funniest thing in
the world.
I point at him accusingly,
"Dickhead, I almost shat myself!"
"I know," Terry gasps, a smirk on his lightly tanned face, "That's what you get
for going off into your imaginary loopy Draco land."
I look to Kasper for support, but he's led next to me with his eyes closed, a
small smile on his face. He looks at peace with the world. No one is more
comfortable with themselves than Kasper. He's always been so confident and sure
of himself, never faltering or wavering with any decision in his life. No
regrets.
I see Cho come trudging up behind Terry, and she slaps his head hard enough to
make a thwacking sound. Terry touches the place where she hit him and scowls,
"Abuse, Cho, you monster. I sincerely hope you don't go around hitting everyone
like that."
Cho raises an eyebrow at him and replies,
"Nope, only my friends."
Terry nods,
"Well that's alright then."
I open my arms up wide for Cho and she smiles manically at me like the evil
doer she secretly is, before falling down into my lap. I wrap her up in a hug
and flip Terry the bird.
Terry just smirks back at me and drops down next to me on the damp sand. My
jeans are pretty soaked through around the arse area by this point.
Cho clambers over me and pokes Kasper in the stomach. He grunts at her, but
doesn't open his eyes.
"Have you three written your speeches for next Friday?" Cho asks, and we all
groan in response.
"You know we did, Cho," Terry grumbles.
"Yeah, because you stood over us with a water pistol and threatened us with it
whenever we tried to leave," I tug at her dark hair.
Since my friends received their Hogwarts letters they've been trying to
convince me to ask Regulus if I could attend Hogwarts with them. I've tried to
broach the subject with him on a number of occasions, but he always shuts me
down, mostly by mumbling things like 'too young' and 'not safe'.
But this year I'm determined to make him let me go.
My friends and I have come up with a plan of action. We're going to stage an
intervention for Regulus about him letting me go to Hogwarts.
Ok, so it's not a great plan, but I swear it sounded solid when we came up with
it at the beginning of the summer holidays.
We only have a few weeks left to convince him before my friends go back to
school and I restart my homeschooling. I mean, technically I go to normal
muggle school as well, but Regulus teaches me magic. Regulus gets our friends
to buy us books and other supplies from Diagon Alley and then he teaches me at
home.
I think I've read almost every book that exists in the Diagon Alley shops. Cho
is always telling me that my magic is more advanced than most of the children
who actually go to Hogwarts. I owe that to Regulus, despite his age when he
abandoned the wizarding world, he is a very powerful and competent wizard.
It's because of him that we've managed to stay hidden for so many years. He's
blocked both my magic and his magic off from the Minstry so they won't know
when we use it. Apparently Regulus' advanced magic shields are what made
Voldemort so interested in him in the first place.
Regulus has told me many times to be careful when I find the thing that I'm
better at than anyone else. Because people will either want to kill you for it,
or use you. He always says it like maybe being used is the worse option.
Then, I suppose he would know.
Cho fixes us all with a harsh stare,
"I did it for your own good. I know you twits wouldn't do it without some kind
of encouragement. You'd wait until the day and then quickly write something
down at the last minute. Or worse, you'd make it up on the spot." Cho shudders,
literally shudders, at even the thought of being that unprepared.
"Alright, Hermione, calm down, we get your point." Kasper mumbles, and he sits
up.
I hide a grin, and I see Terry do the same. 'Hermione' is apparently a girl who
also attends Hogwarts. My friends talked about her a lot after their first
year. Apparently she's some kind of know-it-all prodigy who got herself sorted
into Gryffindor.
I found myself asking about Harry Potter quite against my will when my friends
started telling me all about Hogwarts. My friends didn't really know much
because they're in a different house than Harry. But they did tell me that
Harry was sorted into Slytherin, that he became the Slytherin seeker during his
first year, which was apparently a big deal, and that he almost constantly gets
into fights with a Gryffindor boy named Ron Weasley.
Ever since I can remember Cho has been the smart one. Cho made it her mission
in life to make sure her three idiot friends didn't fail completely at being
wizards. We love her for it, but then again, we also want to gag her at times.
It's the 6 am revision sessions on a Saturday that get me.
6 am. 6 am. 6 AM!On a SATURDAY!
I genuinely almost killed her the first time she showed up at my house at 6am
with a bag full of revision books and homework and practice questions. She
recruited me to come out and drag Kasper away from his bed.
Terry and I ended up carrying him out the door with Kasper still clutching his
pillow like it was a life line. We chucked him into the sea, via Cho's
instructions. Up until that point in my life, I'd never seen someone sleep in
the sea. He used his pillow as a makeshift float and refused to come back onto
the beach for over an hour 'in protest'.
He failed to remember that Cho is by far the most stubborn person we all know.
She waited him out like a vulture would wait out a dying buffalo. Silent and
creepily patient.
Kasper and Cho have just about the weirdest relationship ever. They've been
going out on and off since forever. I have no idea how they make it work,
seeing as Kasper and Cho are literally each other's complete opposites.
Terry always says that maybe that's the point. I always tell him that he's an
idiot right back. Like Terry would know anything about any type of
relationship, he's never had one. I mean, we're still only fourteen, so that's
not exactly a bad thing.
Terry likes to tease by calling me 'his precious snowflake'. I like to threaten
him with bodily harm when he does so.
He finds that hilarious since the thought of me flooring him is pretty
laughable. I'm definitely coming into my growth spurt. Slowly. I'm no longer a
short skinny shit, although Kasper and Terry still like to pretend I am.
I could never keep up with Terry and Kasper though, who seem to be growing like
trees. They also both like sports. And exercise.
And I like eating. And sleeping. I'd call them my favourite hobbies if I could.
When I told Kasper that once he said I might as well go all the way and add
'breathing' to the list. I told him that was stupid because it doesn't count as
a hobby if you have to do it for survival.
That's like people who run to catch the bus to work every day and then tell
everyone they like to go 'jogging'.
Lies. It's all lies folks.
Kasper had fun pointing out that obviously eating has nothing to do with
survival according to me. I hate him sometimes.
"Are you lot on for the Qudditch World cup next weekend?" Kasper says, non-too
subtly trying to change the subject.
Cho's big dark brown eyes spark with exasperation, but she lets it slide, for
once. Now I'm suspicious, she rarely ever backs down. I shall have to
investigate this momentous occurrence at some point tonight.
Kasper hits Terry on the shoulder in that manly 'bro' way they have that I'm
never part of. To be fair, the last time one of them tried something like that
I ended up with a broken toe.
You don't even want to know how that happened.
"Fuck, yes, I need to get out of this town. My mother is driving me insane."
Terry groans.
I snort in amusement,
"Yeah, well, that's what you get for letting her catch you with a bottle of
fire whiskey."
Terry glares at me,
"It was your bottle, Coco! And I did not 'let' her find it. She snooped."
I wave a hand,
"Yeah, yeah, excuses, excuses Boots."
When I started calling Terry 'Boots' when we were seven, he decided to come up
with the most annoying nickname for me of all time. 'Coco' is what he calls me
when we're arguing, which is most of the time.
If you have mates who give horrible nicknames and annoy you beyond all reason,
then my advice is that you should kill them and eat them. That is the only
logical solution.
At the beginning of the summer, Kasper revealed that he'd found a way for us to
get hold of some alcohol. Wizard alcohol. Cho took some convincing, but we
eventually managed to get her to hand over some money for a bottle of her own.
We went down to the beach with our bottles of fire whiskey and got, quite
spectacularly, shit faced. It was the first time all of us had drunk anything
stronger than some wine or champagne at special occasions.
Of course only half way through the night, Terry thought it would be the most
amazing idea ever in the history of amazing ideas to gate crash a teenage
muggle party. I recognised most of the people there from my muggle secondary
school.
Terry also thought it would be a great idea to try and find me a boyfriend.
Whilst completely plastered and half out of his mind. And, in case you were
wondering, Terry isn't just a crazy drunk, he is also a crazy LOUD drunk.
No matter how mortifying you're thinking the situation was, let me just tell
you, it was so. Much. Worse.
I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed in my entire life than when Terry
went right up to a boy I didn't recognise from school who I suppose he assumed
was gay and pretty much shouted "My best mate," he jerks a thumb at me, "is an
amazing person. He's like… a fucking...unicorn marshmallow biscuit hat," why?
"But he's also a gay love virgin," I imagine slowly murdering him with my belt,
"So, we need to find a place where he can meet a cock who wants to love him." I
hide my face in Kasper's shoulder. Terry grins at the stranger and adds, "If
you could point us in the right direction, then that would be most
appreciated."
I think Terry was the only one not surprised when the bloke he'd just been
shouting at took out a card with an address on it for a gay club called
'Silvers'. The boy must have been about seventeen, with dyed blue hair and
piercings on his face. He winked at me and my dick almost betrayed us both,
despite me telling it to fucking behave for once.
I choked on my own tongue when the blue haired boy tried to talk to me. Then I
ran away. I may have also tripped and face planted against a wall. I'll admit
my memories of that night are a little fuzzy.
Obviously I've moved on from that point now, but I wouldn't say I'm smooth with
the pick up lines. Anyone who says it's easier to get off with someone if
you're gay is a big fat liar. It's either that or maybe I really am just
terrible at flirting. That is a very real possibility. It's not like I've had
loads of practice or anything.
I came out to Nana Mars when her favourite truth crystal told me I should.
There is literally no other way to describe it. I was twelve years old, and by
that point in my life I was already well aware of what got me hard.
I don't get people who are confused about their sexuality. Cho likes to say
that an individual's sexuality can't be defined, and that we all land somewhere
on what she calls the 'sexuality spectrum'. Whatever the fuck that is.
As far as I'm concerned, if you're attracted to someone, then that's just the
way it is. Male or female. It doesn't matter. What you feel or who you fuck is
no one else' God damn business.
Whether you choose to label yourself or not, no one has the right to dictate to
you who you should feel attracted to. Or love, for that matter.
I choose to label myself as gay because I've always been attracted to blokes,
even when I was a child, and the thought of ever going near a vagina makes me
feel a little bit ill. I told Cho that once and she threatened to show me hers
just to see if I would scream or be sick. Knowing me it would probably end up
being a combination of the two.
Yeah, I'm attempting to be mature ever since I turned fourteen, but there
really is no adult button you can press. I'm still kind of making it up as I
go. I said that to Regulus and he laughed for a full hour before saying 'me
too, little cousin, me too'.
Nana Mars sat me down in the living room a.k.a the 'sharing room', and forced
me to hold the truth crystal in the usual way she gets me to do anything; by
staring at me until I did it. Sometimes she would make funny faces randomly and
I'd snort out laughter, unable to help myself.
But not that day. I suppose there was nothing all that funny about it. Imagine
me, a short, scruffy, white blond haired, twelve year old with overly massive
pale grey-blue eyes and absolutely zero filter on my mouth. Like one of those
toy troll thingies.
Yes, I used to play with toy trolls. And the occasional my little pony.
Because apparently my spirit animal is a Furbie.
Nana Mars thinks that spirit animals are a load of bullshit. Spirit dust
bunnies on the other hand...
But anyway. I sat there holding the truth crystal. Nana Mars still staring at
me. My hands were sweating like mad.
Finally Nana Mars said,
"Purge the inky darkness of denial from your soul, my sweet."
She speaks like that a lot. In Nana Mars language that means 'tell me what
you're thinking'.
I stayed silent. My hands sweated even more. I almost dropped the crystal
because my hands were getting damp. Nana Mars just watched me without saying
another word.
Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I just loudly announced,
"I got hard when Terry accidentally rubbed up against me whilst we were playing
football."
I don't even like football, but it seemed that it would be my downfall.
Nana Mars watched me some more. Then she said,
"Right then, now don't you feel better?"
"Kind of, yeah," I admitted. And it wasn't even a lie. I did feel better after
I said that out loud.
"Anything else?" Nana Mars asked me. She didn't seem upset or anything. But
then, I figured she'd be fine with it. Like Nana Mars always says 'the only
thing true witches hate are dirty cauldrons and Dorothy'.
It's true. Every time we watch the Wizard of Oz Nana Mars is always on the side
of the witches. I'm pretty sure that I am too. I mean who would you support,
the powerful green lady who has flying monkeys and an epic evil cackle, or that
annoying brat from the black and white farm who murders people and steals their
shoes?
Think about it…..
Exactly.
"I think I like boys." I said.
"Anyone in particular?" Nana Mars asked, and she looked slightly amused.
I wasn't sure what to make of that at the time. I still don't.
"Um, no." I said. That was sort of a lie. I had a majorly ridiculous crush on
Cedric.
Nana Mars caught the lie, of course, she always knows when I'm fibbing. She
says it's her witchy powers reading my soul. I think it's just because I'm a
really crappy liar. Kasper tells me my eyes give me away every time.
But Nana Mars didn't say anything about the lie, she just looked more amused
than before. I remember thinking that adults are weird.
Regulus told me that he thinks adults are weird too. I told him that heis an
adult. Regulus pouted and said that was a very mean thing for me to say and
that I should never talk about a lady's age. I argued that he is not a lady. At
all. Regulus flounced off after that, muttering something like 'this is why I
never wanted children'.
I was a bit less nervous about coming out to Regulus since he's…..well,
Regulus. If you ever met him you'd know what I mean by that.
We were sitting at Nana Mars' favourite blue wood table in the kitchen and
facing each other when I told him. Regulus just stared at me for a full three
minutes (I counted) and then said slowly 'I like boys too'. I thought at first
that maybe he'd misunderstood what I meant, so I tried to explain. That was a
mistake. Our conversation went like this-
Me: I like boys.
Regulus: I like boys too.
Me: No, I mean I like like them.
Regulus: Oookkkaaaayy. I like like them too.
Me: No! I like them as in I…you know…..(whisper) sexually.
Regulus: What?! Who the crap have you been banging Draco? Is it that Diggory
shithead, because I will end him. You're too young, and that's final! No sexy
times are to be had by you. At all. Ever. EVER I SAY!
Me: What are you even-…just NO! First of all 'banging'? Have you been watching
American reality TV again? I thought we agreed to boycott that after the whole
'biatch' incident with Miss Lewis (my math teacher) at parents evening. And I'm
not having sex with Cedric you lunatic!
Regulus: Cedric? I meant Kasper! You can't play two brothers off against each
other like that Draco, it's wrong. You'll have to choose one, and set the other
one free. And I only watched catching up with the Kardashians, like, one time
last week. Get off my back, bruh.
Me: How is this even happening? No, seriously, how is this even a situation
that exists? I am not playing the Diggory brothers off against each other!
Regulus: Oh my God, are you having sex with them…like…together? Do you have a
brother kink? How could I have raised such a heathen? Oh wait….I'm a death
eater. Damn, it's all my fault you're fucked up and want to have brother three-
ways!
Me: I can't believe I even need to say this….I am NOT in an incestuous
relationship with Cedric and Kasper!
Nana Mars (potters into the kitchen carrying our new puppy. A little black pug
who Regulus demanded we name 'Sirius'.): Who's not in an incestuous
relationship with Cedric and Kasper?
Me: ME! I am the one who is not!
Nana Mars: Aw, well, that's quite a shame. The Diggory brothers are such lovely
boys…you could do a lot worse my little Dragon cub.
Regulus: (looks me dead in the eye) I have failed you my son. But I support
your decisions. Incest obsessed or not, I still love you.
Me: I am not obsessed with incest!
Nana Mars: I have some gay erotica fiction under my bed that you could look at
if you want. I think there's even some twincest in there somewhere.
Regulus: I'm glad you felt you could admit to me that you have a brother kink,
Draco. I like that we have that kind of trust between us.
Nana Mars: Hmm, it probably would have been better if you'd told him you were
gay first, you know, as a way of preparing Reggy for your incest kinks and
such.
Me: (smack my head against the table). The coming of age films are right, being
gay and coming out is really hard.
Nana Mars and Regulus: That's what he said!
Regulus and Nana Mars (point at each other): JINX!
Me: I divorce you. I divorce you both!
Regulus: Shut your whore mouth!
Nana Mars: I remember my first three-way. Who ever said you couldn't have fun
at a Knitting club?
Me: Meeehhhhhh.
Sometimes I think I live a relatively normal life, and then I wake up and the
people I love remind me of how very untrue that is.
"Do you think Regulus will let you come with us to the Qudditch world cup?" Cho
asks me. She looks hopeful.
I lift one shoulder in a half shrug,
"I don't know. He doesn't want me to have anything to do with the wizarding
world. But if we can convince him on Friday to let me go to Hogwarts, then
maybe he'll let me go to the Quidditch world cup too."
There's a whole lot of 'maybe' going on there.
Cho exchanges a sad glance with Terry. I catch Kasper's eye and he smiles
reassuringly at me. Kasper sits up and slides his fingers into my hair. He uses
the grip on my hair to shake my head around a bit, and then he says,
"Don't be getting all morose on us, babe. There's no way in hell we're leaving
you behind again this year. You're coming whether you want to or not. We need
you with us."
I allow my lips to curl up into a small smile,
"Is that because you miss my stupid face?"
Cho snorts out a laugh, and Terry leans over to squeeze my shoulder. Kasper
says seriously,
"Yeah, Draco, it's because we miss your stupid face."
***** Vodka and earthquakes *****
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING.
"Regulus." I say gravely, "We need to talk."
Regulus puts down his colouring book and looks up at me. Yes, a colouring book,
you read that right. Did you know there was such a thing as 'Adult' colouring
books? It doesn't sound like it should be a thing that exists, I know. But I
can assure you that it does. Regulus found a whole load of them on Amazon and
bought, like, fifteen versions, including the unicorn one currently resting on
his lap.
It first started when I was seven and Regulus bought a dragon colouring book
for me. He also got me a Barbie one because he wanted me to 'feel free to
define my own gender nuances', so that I wouldn't feel 'pressured' into liking
something or not liking something just because it's termed as 'girly' or
'boyish'. Those wereactual sentences that came out of his actual face.
I didn't really like the colouring books. I was more into reading novels, even
when I was really young. Nana Mars would give me all of her old hard back
copies of books she'd collected over the years. A lot of them were either
murder mysteries or romances. Sometimes both. Nana Mars and I would argue over
Jane Austen characters whilst Regulus sat in the background colouring in a
Barbie car.
Regulus explained to me that colouring relaxes him. I told him that he is the
weirdest adult ever, and asked why he can't just go down to the pub and have a
drink to relax like all the other adults. Regulus said that he isn't a
conformist. I simply pointed at the dark mark on his arm. Regulus told me to go
to my room. I said it wasn't fair to send me to my room just because he was
losing the argument. Regulus replied that I was seven and he was the adult, and
so therefore life would never be fair.
I told on him to Nana Mars and she beat Regulus over the head with a red
'repenting' crystal, and took his (my) colouring books away for a week. Regulus
called me a grass and pouted sulkily. I poked my tongue out at him happily from
my place at the kitchen table whilst eating chocolate biscuits.
Right, well, anyway. Today is theFriday and it's officially time for our
intervention.
Regulus' gaze travels around the room, taking in all the people who are
currently staring at him. As well as me, Cho, Terry and Kasper, we also managed
to convince all their parents to come and speak up for me as well. Nana Mars is
sitting in her favourite pink zebra print sofa chair and knitting what looks
like either a flag or a cape with a skull and cross bones on it.
Whatever it is, I'm sure she'll be wearing it tomorrow, or forcing Regulus to
climb up onto the roof and replace the flag already up there. That flag is
green and has the words 'A Wicked Witch is a Wicked Bitch'printed on it. My
friends and I made that for her during an art lesson in primary school. We
found that quote on tumblr. We were all subsequently banned from going on
tumblr.
But Nana Mars loved it. She insisted on having the makeshift flag attached to a
pole on the roof. Regulus almost fell off the thatched roof five times whilst
Nana Mars and I watched him from our deck chairs. Some towns people grumbled
about it, but Nana Mars is both respected and feared throughout the community,
so no one said anything to her face.
Good thing too, or she would have put a curse on them for sure. Even though
Nana Mars may not technically have any magical ability….well I still wouldn't
want to be cursed by her. Trust me, neither would you.
I helped Nana Mars curse someone before. Well, it was actually a cat named
Bobo, but it was still really epic. There was a massive cauldron and blue smoke
and we had to chant the lyrics to that song from Macbeth 'Double, double, toil
and trouble'. Occasionally Nana Mars would mix it up with lyrics from whatever
pop song she was obsessed with that week. I tried to keep up as we danced
around the big cauldron together and sang at the top of our lungs about shaking
it off and how the haters are gonna hate.
Regulus argued that I shouldn't be putting muggle curses on cats because it
wasn't proper magic and it would only confuse my real ritual studies. I argued
that I wasn't putting a curse on all cats. Just the one that kept pooping in
our garden.
Nana Mars told Regulus to stop interrupting our curse ritual or she would
change it so the curse would also include him. Regulus scoffed and said he
wasn't afraid of some muggle mumbo jumbo. Nana Mars said 'shun the non-
believer' and we put a curse on Regulus. For days afterwards Regulus kept
injuring himself almost constantly.
One time when he tripped over his own feet and fell down the stairs, for the
fifth time that day, Nana Mars and I stared down at him from over the
bannister, and Nana Mars said 'feel our rage wizard boy'. I told him that's
what he gets for being a shithead to a muggle witch.
All the parents are standing behind me, Cho, Terry and Kasper. Cho insisted
that we bring laminated copies of our speeches. We borrowed the laminator from
Terry's muggle father, Quinton, who told us 'people who don't laminate always
lose'. He's an accountant who wears sweater vests and likes country music.
Everything about that amuses me.
Terry's mother is pretty much Quinton's exact opposite. Fiona Boot is a tall
woman with golden blond hair and expressive whiskey brown eyes, who is always
talking, or shouting about something. Terry looks, and behaves, a lot more like
his mum than his more quiet and unassuming father. But his aptitude for exams
and studying definitely comes from Quinton.
Regulus is looking at us all like he's sure we're going to attack at any
moment.
"Is this the part where you all kill me and sell my organs on eBay?" Regulus
says completely deadpan.
"Don't be ridiculous, Reggy." Nana Mars scolds, "Draco would never do something
like that." She crinkles up her nose, looks Regulus over, and adds, "Besides,
who would want your organs anyway? They're probably all weird and pureblood-y.
They'd have to sell them at a discounted rate, and really, that would just be a
pointless waste of time."
Regulus scowls harshly.
"My organs are not weird."
"They probably are though." I say, forgetting for a moment why we're all here.
"I wouldn't want to try and sell them on eBay or the black market."
"I didn't think you could sell organs on eBay." Quinton says, sounding
confused.
"What's eBay?" Cho's father asks. Jian Chang is a rather tall man with jet
black hair and a rather benevolent demeanour.
Mei Chang, Cho's mother, is just as beautiful as her daughter. She's also the
calmest mannered and rational person I've ever known.
"I believe it is one of those muggle websites. Like that one Cho showed us at
Christmas 'facebock." Mei says, patting her husband's arm indulgently
"Ah, yes," Jian says, nodding enthusiastically. "I remember. Like…what was that
one you showed me last night sweatheart?" Jian smiles at his daughter.
Cho gives her father a half smile in return and says,
"Youtube, daddy."
"Right, yes, I liked that one." Jian says. He frowns thoughtfully and mumbles
to himself, "Dear me, so many moving pictures of cats though. It's a wonder
muggles get anything done."
"I thought selling organs was illegal in the muggle world." Mr Diggory says. I
can't ever think of him by his first name. Cedric and Kasper's dad is just such
a 'Mr' to me.
"Is it legal in the wizarding world?" Fiona asks, sounding shocked.
"No, no." Mr Diggory says, waving a hand. "Wizarding law prohibits such
practices. Has done since 1931."
That's still a bit too recent for my liking.
"Do muggles sell organs on eBay or not?" Jian asks curiously. I'm pretty sure
he still doesn't know what eBay is.
"No one sells organs on eBay!" Terry shouts, throwing his hands up
dramatically.
Kasper snorts with laughter. Mr Diggory gives his son a look for making such an
undignified sound. Kasper just crosses his arms and grins. I nudge Kasper's
arm. He's already in enough trouble this summer from when he convinced me to
sneak off with him into the city and get piercings.
Well, Kasper got piercings. One bar through his eyebrow, three small hoops on
his upper left ear, and a ball ended piercing below his bottom lip. Despite my
reservations about the whole thing, the piercings actually suit Kasper quite a
lot.
Kasper tried to convince me to have one done, but I didn't want a hole in my
face that I wasn't born with. I was fascinated by the tattoos though. Kasper
noticed me looking and we managed to convince the bloke working at the parlour
to give us a tattoo each. For double the price, but still.
Kasper got a really incredible raven on his upper arm. When I asked him why, he
said 'house pride, Dray'. I chose a detailed black feather with my parents'
initials underneath it. I had the tattoo put on my lower arm. The same place
where Regulus has his dark mark.
Of course Kasper's father gave him a right bullocking for it all. He demanded
Kasper take out all the piercings, but Kasper refused. He's such a stubborn git
when it comes to his father. I know it's because Amos Diggory can be so over
bearing towards his sons at times. But it's always been clear to me that
Kasper's father loves him.
Cedric and Kasper lost their mother when Kasper was nine. She was an Auror and
was murdered on the job by a particularly dangerous dark wizard. Kasper took
her death hard, but I think maybe Cedric took it even harder.
I remember being at the Diggory house six weeks after her death. Everyone else
was at the Chang house for dinner. Kasper had run off when his father said
something about moving away from Colbie. For a fresh start, he said.
Kasper had yelled at his father that they couldn't leave because Colbie is
their home. Kasper looked at me when he said 'home', and something in my chest
collapsed in on itself. The thought of Kasper leaving Colbie made me feel like
the whole world might fall apart around me.
Mr Diggory told Kasper to stop over-reacting, but that just made it worse.
Kasper became even angrier and stormed out. I followed after him, but by the
time I got outside, Kasper was already gone. I thought maybe he'd run back to
his house, although it seemed far more likely that he would go to our usual
spot outside the caves on Colbie beach.
But I wanted to give Kasper some time to himself as well, because I knew my
best friend. He would want to rage at the world. Kasper may be quite even
tempered for the most part, but when something makes him angry, truly angry, he
flies off the handle completely. When that happens he needs time to simmer
before anyone can even try to talk him down.
That someone is usually me. Even though Cho is our resident peace maker, and
Kasper's on-again-off-again girlfriend, it's always me who brings Kasper back
into himself. Kasper says it's because he's been platonically in love with me
ever since we met. I'm not sure what that means, and I've never asked. Safer
that way, I think.
So I went to the Diggory house, just in case he was there, which I doubted. I
knew Cedric would be there though. He'd been excused from dinner because he
said he had homework to finish before he went back to school. Cedric was in his
second year of Hogwarts back then.
Part of me hoped I would see Cedric. He'd been so withdrawn since his mother
died. He was always a private person in general, but Cedric was open and
passionate about life too. That ember that had seemed so bright inside him
before appeared to have vanished completely.
I hated it. I hated seeing Cedric look so defeated and sad.
Cedric was in the house when I got there, but he wasn't studying. Instead he
was curled up in the foetal position in the middle of his bedroom floor. His
eyes were red rimmed, the skin around his eyes puffy. He'd been biting his
nails, the only bad habit Cedric has ever had, so desperately that his fingers
bled.
I didn't know what to do when I first saw him like that. I wondered for a
moment if I should go and get his father. But that seemed like the wrong
decision for some reason.
Cedric was literally shaking, shivering, with a mad kind of pain you only ever
feel when you lose someone you love.
His body quakes made me think of earthquakes, and what I'd recently read about
them in a book about natural disasters that Nana Mars got for me. In the book
it stated that when earthquakes start, the safest place to ride them out is
inside a bathtub.
It seemed obvious to me then, as a nine year old boy, to go over to Cedric and
pull him to his feet. Cedric resisted at first, but when I kept on yanking at
his arm, Cedric got unsteadily to his feet. I asked him not to fall on me, and
Cedric replied in a dead voice that he would try not to. I told him I was glad
because I didn't want to be crushed by a big twelve year old. I think Cedric
would have smiled if he hadn't of been so wrecked.
Instead he squeezed my arm and said "I would never hurt you, Draco." It was me
who shivered after that one.
I half dragged Cedric into one of their bathrooms. Cedric hesitated when I
tried to push him into the bathtub, but I explained about the earthquakes and
Cedric did as he was told. Cedric tugged on my hand, so I climbed into the
bathtub as well. We sat facing each other at first.
But when Cedric tried to curl in on himself again, I forced myself into his
space and sat between his legs so he couldn't curl up. At least not without
taking me with him anyway.
Cedric didn't hesitate that time when he wrapped his arms around me. I cuddled
into him as much as I could. I didn't want him to feel alone anymore. I told
him that in a quiet whisper that echoed strangely inside the big fancy
bathroom.
"Why'd you come here?" Cedric asked me, his voice cracked with dryness, when
his body had finally stopped shuddering.
"Kasper got mad and ran off." I said.
"Why?" Cedric asked, sounding confused and really tired.
"Your Dad….he said you might be moving away. From Colbie." From me.
Cedric body stiffened behind me and for a moment I held my breath, unsure of
how Cedric would react.
"We aren't going to move." Cedric said. There had been so much authority and
confidence in his voice that I felt instantly at ease. If Cedric said it wasn't
happening, then it wouldn't happen.
"Ok." I said.
"You're the only thing that's kept my little brother sane all these years, let
alone during the past month. We wouldn't leave you. Not ever. You know that,
don't you?" Cedric said.
Cedric squeezed my smaller body just a bit tighter and I nodded against his
chest.
"It's ok to be sad. You don't have to pretend all the time." I said to him.
"I know." Cedric said with a sigh, and he squeezed me again.
That wasn't the last time a bathtub ever saved one of us from an earthquake.
But those are other stories for another time.
When I came home with that feather tattoo Regulus did not yell at me like Mr
Diggory yelled at Kasper. Instead he admired it and said my pale skin looks
good with dark tattoos. He also congratulated me for managing to get one in the
first place without any ID.
Nana Mars thought the tattoo was very well done and asked me if I thought she
should get another tattoo. I told her yes, definitely, but I don't know where
she'd put it as she already has full sleeves and tattoos on her chest and back.
There's even an Irish four leafed clover on her ankle. Nana Mars said she'd
gotten that one in honour of an old boyfriend. I asked if he was Irish and she
just laughed and said no. I asked her why a four leafed clover made her think
of him then. Nana Mars told me the man was American and that they had sex with
a married couple in California in a hotel named 'The Clover'. The hotel's
symbol was a four leafed clover.
Regulus then started asking Nana Mars questions about the dynamic of four-way
sex, and I had to leave the room before I could be scandalised any more.
All the noise and commotion going on in the living room catches the attention
of our dog Sirius, who comes scampering in, barking excitedly. The little black
pug jumps up onto the sofa and pounces on Regulus. Regulus lifts Siri onto his
lap and starts scratching his ears. Siri's curled tail wags enthusiastically.
We found Siri as puppy. He was really tiny and alone, and I demanded that we
take him home. Regulus argued with me, saying that the dog was a smelly
fleabag. Nana Mars and I outvoted him though and Siri came home with us.
Regulus pretends to hate him, but he takes Siri out for walks, buys him special
treats, and even lets him sleep in his bed. Regulus secretly loves our dog,
maybe more than he loves me actually.
Siri isn't the only animal we have in the house. Regulus also bought a very
small and fat owl. We named him Mr Big. Mr Big has black and grey feathers, and
looks like an owl mob boss. For serious. That's the main reason why we got him
in the first place. We also bought another really massive owl with pointed ears
and dangerous looking talons. We call him Tiny.
Tiny and Mr Big took to each other right away, and they like to stand next to
each other with Tiny occasionally flying off to do Mr Big's bidding. It's one
of the best things ever.
Of course then there's my pet rock, Kevin. But we don't like to talk about him.
Not since Terry accidentally used him to break one of the Church's windows when
we were ten.
"If you aren't going to murder me and sacrifice my body to Satan, then what's
going on?" Regulus asks suspiciously, "I do have a life you know. I can't be
expected to just sit around here being stared at all day. So either put me in a
zoo officially, or start talking."
I seriously consider the zoo option. Regulus must see it on my face because he
huffs indignantly and gives me a mighty mouse glare.
I notice that Cho is giving me evils, and I realise that it probably isn't a
good idea to piss off Regulus when I'm trying to convince him to let me go to
Hogwarts. Right.
I take a deep breath and say,
"We're here, Regulus, because the summer holidays will be over soon, and I
think it would in my best interests to start the new term at a different
school."
Regulus stops petting Siri and his eyes narrow on me ever so slightly.
"Which different school?"
"Hogwarts!" Cho, Terry, Kasper and all their parents say at the same time,
throwing their hands up in unison. We rehearsed that. There may have been jazz
hands involved at some point too.
"That was the best thing I've ever seen." Nana Mars says, staring at us in awe.
Whilst still knitting earnestly.
At same time Regulus says,
"Never do that again. Ever."
"Regulus, I know you just want to protect me," I say earnestly, taking a step
towards him, "But I'm old enough now to decide for myself. And my decision is
that I want to go to Hogwarts with my friends this year."
Regulus just stares at me for a really, really, long time. In fact the staring
goes on for so long that you can practically taste the awkward silence in the
air.
Just when I think I'm about to go insane, Regulus says,
"Fine." He glances over at Nana Mars, who is giving him a strange knowing look
that I don't understand.
"Fine…what?" I ask in confusion.
"Fine you can go to bloody Hogwarts if you're really so up in arms about it."
Regulus growls unhappily.
My eyes widen in shock. I can barely believe what he's saying. It must be a
joke.
"But….but….but we have speeches!" Cho sputters, clearly disappointed.
Jian places a hand on his daughter's shoulder and says,
"Don't worry sweetie, I'm sure you can use it for another intervention. There's
bound to be one at some point knowing us lot."
Kasper pats her arm consolingly,
"I was looking forward to the speeches too, love."
Cho just huffs and throws her laminated speech (essay) to the floor.
"Your dad's right, I'm sure one of us will contract some kind of addiction."
Terry says, "Meth, maybe."
"Or caffeine." Kasper says.
"That doesn't count." Terry argues, screwing up his nose in distaste.
"If you want a proper addiction," Nana Mars says, "then I'd go for alcohol.
It's cheaper than heroin. Generally. Unless you're in Russia."
"Why would they be in Russia?" Fiona asks, exchanging a look with Quinton.
"For the cheap heroin apparently," Kasper says.
"Kasper, stop it!" Mr Diggory admonishes.
"Who would go all the way to Russia just for Heroin?" Quinton says, "I saw a
man selling it outside the train station in Bristol when I went there for a
meeting."
"Maybe they want more high end heroin." Fiona reasons, "They have that in
Russia don't they? High end heron I mean."
"I think you're getting heroin confused with vodka." Mei says knowledgeably,
"Russians are quite well known for having good taste in vodka. Or at least that
was the case when we visited Russia when Jian and I were young."
"Did you go to Russia for the heroin or the vodka then?" Terry asks.
"Terry!" Fiona reproaches, "It's not polite to ask people if they travelled to
a distant country for drugs!"
"We went for the hockey," Jian says, "We've always been rather avid fans of the
muggle sport."
"I was addicted to bath salts once." Nana Mars says happily.
"Is hockey the one with the big sticks and the round thing?" Mr Diggory asks,
actually sounding curious.
"Don't most muggle sports have a round thing of some sort?" Kasper says.
"It's called a puck." Jian says, seemingly proud of his muggle knowledge.
"I think I'd prefer the vodka." Quinton says.
"What are bath salts?" Cho asks Nana Mars.
"Ask me that next time you have a bath and I'll let you use some of mine." Nana
Mars says with a wink.
Oh for the love of smurfs….
I ignore everyone else then and focus completely on Regulus,
"Why are you agreeing so easily? You've never even let me mention going to
Hogwarts before."
"Yeah, well, you've never gotten your own personal mob together to accost me
before either." Regulus grumbles.
"Yes I have. Remember your thirtieth birthday? You wouldn't get out of bed." I
say with a frown, "So we all got together and planned a surprise party for you.
We had to drag you downstairs in your pants and force you to get dressed into a
tiger onesie so you wouldn't freeze outside. Then we took you down to the
pavilion we'd set up on the beach and there were all those balloons and banners
with the number thirty on them. And the big '30' cake. You ended up getting
drunk on Smirnoff ice and fire whiskey and cider all mixed together with orange
juice. You made the birthday cake explode, and went around popping all the
balloons with your wand. Then at about midnight you ran into the sea covered in
'30' cake whilst shooting sparks into the sky, and singing that song 'Forever
young'. Remember. That was funny. And awful. You are a terrible birthday boy. A
terrible person in general, really."
"I am not thirty! You shut your tiny elven face!" Regulus glares at me.
"Well, no, now you're thirty-three." I say.
"I hate you." Regulus hisses.
"But, seriously Reg, why now?" I ask, trying to understand the mixture of
emotions going on behind Regulus' eyes.
Regulus' jaw tightens and he looks right at me.
"I can't protect you forever, Draco. I wish I could. But I know I can't. If you
want to go to Hogwarts then you're going to have to be prepared to accept the
consequences. Things won't be easy like they are now."
"I know that," I say, moving to sit down next to Regulus on the sofa. Siri
clambers off Regulus and onto me. I wrap my arm around him and scratch his
tummy. Siri rubs his head against my chest and it makes me smile despite
everything.
I look up at Regulus, who is watching me carefully. I see the worry and
distress more clearly in his eyes now.
"I'll be alright, Reg. Besides, Hogwarts is supposed to be really safe, right?
Nothing bad or dangerous happens there." I say.
"Apart from in first year when there was a mysterious hidden object in school
and Harry Potter almost got killed right around the same time Professor
Qurriell went missing." Terry says.
"Or in second year when there was a monster going around petrifying people and
Harry Potter almost died again saving that Weasley girl in the chamber of
secrets." Kasper says.
"Or in third year when Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban and everyone thought
he was trying to kill Harry Potter. Our DADA professor turned out to be a
werewolf and Sirius Black turned out to be innocent just like Regulus always
said because he was framed by Peter Pettigrew. Harry Potter caught Pettigrew
and had him arrested." Cho says.
"Seriously not helping." I say, shaking my head incredulously at my mates.
"Oh yes, very safe," Regulus says sarcastically, "nothing dangerous ever
happens, clearly."
I roll my eyes,
"Hey, look, from what it sounds like all I need to do is stay away from Harry
Potter the danger magnet and I'll be fine."
"That might just be impossible considering how Harry Potter moved in to live
with my brother this summer." Regulus says with a heavy sigh.
I suck in a harsh breathe,
"Have you been exchanging letters with Sirius? I thought you weren't going to
do that."
"Yeah, well….call me a sap. He's my brother." Regulus grumbles irately.
"Does he know…about me?" I ask quietly.
I'm not sure if I mean Sirius or Harry when I say that.
"Yes. And no. I told him I have a kid. But I didn't tell him who you are."
"So he thinks I'm your son?"
"You are my son." Regulus says adamantly.
I raise an eyebrow.
"Ish." Regulus and I say at the same time.
***** When Scarheads Collide *****
Chapter Summary
     Special shout out to-RonnieDeVille, Civility and theFearTakesHold.
     THANK YOU MY UNICORN BRETHREN!
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Where are we meeting them?" I ask as we trudge up what feels like an endlessly
tall grassy hill.
"I told Sirius we'd meet him at the portkey." Regulus puffs out, shifting his
backpack around over his shoulders. It's a Batman backpack. Because reasons.
"What portkey?" I ask, panting just a little. I should really start working out
more. Or at all actually.
I blame Regulus for me not being more positive about exercise. Regulus has
never gone running, or played any sport, even once in all the time I've known
him. Except that one time, but I'll get to that. Yet, like me, he still stays
slim and compact.
I keep telling him that one day his old age will catch up to his metabolism and
then he'll be fucked. Regulus asked 'by who?'. I said no one ever again if he
turns into a fat slob who sits around all day smoking weed (he calls them blue
opium cigarettes, but whatever). He let me have one once and it was the
weirdest, most blissed out, moment of my life.
I told Regulus he should try going for a run or something. Or he could join
Nana Mars' netball team. Regulus said that he is against exercise as a concept
and that people only play sports because their minds are manipulated by the
media into creating a mob-like mentality.
I took his blue opium away and hid it. I told him I wouldn't give it back until
he agreed to try a sport. He threatened to turn me into a frog.
Things only escalated from that point. It ended up with Regulus on the floor
and shouting 'down with the system' and me sitting on him and shouting 'stop
trying to bite me Regulus you lunatic'. Nana Mars watched us from the doorway
with a cup of tea (with a drop of whiskey, as always) in one hand and on her
other hand there was, somehow, a giant blue foam finger. I didn't even know she
had one of those. She waved the foam finger around and shouted things like
'take him down to china town Dragon' and 'aim for the throat and balls Reggy'.
Eventually Regulus agreed to try a sport. He joined Nana Mars' netball team, of
which she is, of course, the captain. He played in their first game the next
day against a rival team from the next small town over. Regulus laughed about
playing with, and against, a load of old ladies.
My friends, their parents, and I went to watch and support our home team 'The
Wrinkly Storm'. Within the first twenty minutes of the game, Regulus got
knocked over twenty-six times. I counted. He got hit in the face with the ball
fifteen times. Cho counted. And he was purposefully tripped up three times. We
all counted. Of course it wouldn't have been that bad if all these things
weren't done to him by his own team.
To be fair to The Wrinkly Storm, Regulus was absolutely rubbish at netball. He
dropped the ball constantly, and whenever it was passed to him he ran away from
it. After that Nana Mars banished Regulus from The Wrinkly Storm and he was
told never to come back on pain of death by granny.
Of course I was traumatised by the whole event and that is why I can't play
sports. So there.
Regulus hasn't answered my question so I poke his cheek and ask again,
"What portkey?"
"The one that's waiting for us at the top of this sodding hill." Regulus
replies grumpily. He tries to poke me back, but I move one step away. Regulus
gives me a look, as if considering whether it's worth the effort to take one
step sideways so he can poke me. After a few seconds he snorts and waves his
hand at me in a 'can't be arsed' gesture.
"There's a portkey at the top of the hill?" Terry asks, ambling closer to me
and Regulus.
"There bloody well better be." Regulus snaps.
We set off early this morning for the Qudditch world cup. Regulus tried to
argue with me about that, but I said it would be the perfect place to meet up
with his brother on neutral ground, so Regulus relented.
I'm really nervous about meeting Sirius Black. I wonder if he'll be
like Regulus at all. Hopefully not or the world might implode. I'm not at all
anxious about seeing Harry Potter. I'm really not, so stop thinking it.
Seriously. I don't even care if I see him or not. So both of our parents were
killed on the same night. So we have the same scar on our foreheads. I don't
care. At all. Even a little bit.
Shut up.
Regulus helped me use a specialised shielding charm to hide my scar. It was
agreed by everyone that no one should know who I really am. At least not yet.
Most of the wizarding world thinks I'm dead. I know Regulus would prefer to
keep it that way. He's also insisting that I change my name. Well, my first
name. I'm already technically a Black, and I've been using that surname my
whole life.
I know that my biological father was a Malfoy, but I've never really thought of
myself as one. I'm a Black. My mother was a Black, and I was raised (using the
term loosely) by a Black. It's just one of those things, I guess.
My whole family had great fun picking me out a new first name. From ridiculous
things like 'Delcrest' and 'Dusty' (no offense to people who might have those
names, but come on), to semi-sane things like 'Dean' and 'Danny'.
Regulus and I finally agreed that just 'Drake' would do so as not to confuse
things too much. He already contacted Professor Dumbledore, and somehow,
against all odds, he managed to convince the headmaster to let me become a
student at Hogwarts. I had to go and do some exams to see if I was at a
competent level to start my fourth year. I passed all of the exams with flying
colours, which wasn't exactly a surprise.
But all of that pales into comparison to the fact that, and even I'm impressed
by how he managed this, Regulus got himself asked by Dumbledore to become the
new potions Professor. Alongside his brother, Sirius. How those two bozos
tricked Dumbledore into that one I don't even want to know.
I should probably just be glad that they aren't going to be our Defense against
the dark arts professors. Apparently Dumbledore already had that position
filled for this year. Thank Merlin for small mercies.
Quinton and Fiona, Terry's parents, and Jian and Mei, Cho's parents, decided to
stay at home in Colbie instead of coming to the Qudditch world cup. So
technically Regulus is supposed to be in charge of me, Terry and Cho. Why
anyone thought that was a good idea I'll never understand.
Mr Diggory, Cedric and Kasper are along with us as well.
Also, we've brought Nana Mars. She refused to be left behind and miss the 'big
mop racing game'. Terry and Cho tried to explain that Quidditch is played with
brooms, not mops, and that it isn't about racing. But Nana Mars just waved
their explanations away whilst she excitedly planned 'operation muggle
invasion'.
Ever since we left Colbie this morning Nana Mars has been humming the James
Bond theme tune. She's wearing black aviators and an all-black jumpsuit. With a
utility belt. She looks like a retired spy. Nana Mars also brought her night
vision goggles, nun-chucks, an army blade, and finally her pink rhinestone
taser.
Yeah. Pink. Rhinestone. Taser.
Get your head around that one. I dare you.
Cho and Nana Mars are at the back of the group talking about what sounds like
either baking a giant cake, or fighting with a giant snake. It could literally
be either. Or both even.
Terry and Regulus begin muttering together about bloody portkeys and bloody
grassy hills that never seem to bloody fucking end.
Mr Diggory is actually deep in conversation with Kasper. Kasper looks at me
desperately. I refuse to save him. He brought this on himself when he mentioned
to his father that he was going to quit the Ravenclaw Quidditch team this year.
Cedric is walking alone so I move over to him. He looks about as happy and
carefree as someone like Cedric can on a regular basis. He smiles down at me,
and I return that smile with a grin of my own.
We walk together in silence for a little while. One thing I really like about
being around Cedric is that I never feel the need to keep on talking. The
silences we have between us are always comfortable and never awkward.
Eventually though, Cedric turns his head to look at me and says,
"I'm sorry again that I couldn't be there for your Hogwarts vs Regulus
intervention. Kas and Dad made it sound….interesting."
Cedric had been away doing some work experience for the Ministry for most of
the summer. I'd missed him more than I thought.
"It went about the same as all of our family meetings do." I say wryly.
Cedric actually smirks a little at that. It's not an expression I'm used to
seeing on his face. He says,
"So…it was madness personified then. As always."
"As always." I agree.
"So are you going to try out for the Quidditch team now that you'll officially
be one of us?" Cedric deepens his voice and reaches over to ruffle my fringe.
I slap his hand away,
"Oi, get off."
Cedric laughs. It's a pleasant, deep, rumbling sound. Soothing almost.
"I don't know if I'll play Qudditch or not. I don't even know which house I'll
be in yet." Although I have a pretty good idea.
Cedric must think so too because he gives me a speculative look,
"Well, all of your friends are in Ravenclaw and you're insanely clever, plus
you read practically everything. And you're weird. So I'd say Ravenclaw for
sure."
I gasp, pretending to be affronted,
"I am not weird!"
"That is so not true. You are king of the weirdoes, Dray." Cedric says, still
smiling widely.
I am offended. Deeply, deeply, offended.
Well, alright, not really. He's not wrong. No one could put up with what I do
without being at least a little bit demented.
"At least you think I'm a king." I say, putting on a mock haughty voice.
Cedric laughs again.
"Only you could find a compliment in that."
I reach over to shove his arm. They look thicker than I remember. Cedric has
always been tall, but he used to be such a slim thing. Gangly even. But over
the last year he's really grown into his own body. His chest is broader, and
his arms are more toned with pure muscle.
Hey, don't look at me like that. I'm allowed to notice these things.
Platonically. Sort of.
Shut up.
I jump a little when Cedric touches my shoulder. His hand is big and warm. I
realise that I've been daydreaming and a blush threatens to steal over my
cheeks. Cedric's cloud-grey eyes are warm though when he says,
"I'm really glad that you're going to be at Hogwarts this year, Dray. I always
used to worry about you being back at home by yourself. Now I won't have to
worry." He frowns just a little, "Or maybe I should be even more worried that
now you'll be running around a magical castle with my brother. I can only
imagine what kind of trouble you'll get into."
"Nah, we'll be good," I say, shaking my head, "No trouble at all. It'll just be
a quiet year of learning magic and no craziness. Might even be a really boring
year, actually."
That feels like a lie, but I'm not sure why.
It might be because of those dreams I've been having. Nightmares actually.
About Voldemort. They felt so real that when I woke up I was sick from fear and
repulsion. But they can't actually be real. It's just my nerves about going to
Hogwarts. It must be. I wanted to tell Regulus about them, but I was too afraid
he would take it the wrong way and ban me from going to Hogwarts after all.
I can put up with some nightmares if it means finally getting to join my
friends at Hogwarts after years of feeling like an outsider.
This is my chance. I'm not going to ruin it.
I told my friends about the dreams though, because I don't ever want to hide
things from them. Cho thought I should tell Regulus anyway, but I know she
would never betray my secrets herself.
Cedric looks at me like he doesn't believe for a second that I'll stay out of
trouble. He says knowingly,
"Life around you is never boring, Dray. That's always been true."
Something hot and heavy curls around inside my stomach.
I open my mouth to respond, but before I can get a word out, I hear a voice I
don't recognise call out,
"Bloody hell, brother, I didn't know you were bringing your entire town along
with you."
My gaze snaps up and forward, trying to catch sight of the person who I assume
is Sirius Black.
I see him just as we come over the side of the grassy hilltop.
Sirius Black looks, quite literally, like a slightly older version of Regulus.
Strikingly handsome. Slimly built. Wild dark hair. Pale eyes. They even have
that slightly crazed look in them that Regulus' have. I don't know if that's
just them, or if it's a Black family trait.
One difference between the two brothers right now however is that Sirius is
grinning like a looney tune, and Regulus is scowling right back at him. I can
only imagine how terribly this is going to go if Regulus is in one of his
grumpy moods. Maybe I should have let him have that opium cigarette before we
left. At least then he'd be relaxed.
"Sod off, you great git." Regulus says to Sirius. But there's no heat behind
it. In fact he sounds almost playful. I immediately feel more relaxed about the
situation.
That is until another person comes into view and all the breath in my body goes
AWOL.
Harry James Potter
The first thing I notice about him is his eyes. I thought it would be his scar,
but I barely give that a second thought. Harry Potter's eyes are a vivid
emerald green. They are just so green. I've never seen green eyes that look
like his before. It almost seems like they're glowing from the inside.
Apart from that the rest of him is pretty normal. He's of average height, maybe
about the same height as me, if not a little taller. But he's built quite
strongly, like a swimmer or a football player. I'm guessing I can attribute
that to his time playing Quidditch. His hair is actually worth noting. Because
it's messy. Like, seriously, his hair is jet black and looks like it hasn't
been brushed even once in the past fourteen years. Maybe it hasn't, who knows?
I lock eyes with him without even thinking about it. He appears just as stunned
to see me as I am to see him. Although I'm not sure why considering he doesn't
actually know who I am. Or how connected we are to each other.
Something shockingly like familiarity rockets through my system as I look into
his eyes. I have to force myself not to gasp at the intensity of it. I mean,
what the hell?
I tear my gaze away from Harry Potter and try to gather my thoughts properly. I
can't be introduced to either Sirius or him if my brain has gone haywire.
Sirius is laughing at Regulus. Regulus is still scowling. All of my friends'
gazes are darting back and forth between me and Harry like they're watching a
tennis match take place. They've all migrated over to me, with protective look
on of their faces. Kasper and Terry in particular seem to be one wrong word
away from either throwing themselves in front of me, or kicking Harry Potter's
arse for whatever reason.
I take a step back and bump into Cedric. My face flames just a bit and I try to
shuffle forwards again. Unfortunately I misjudge my ability to move like a
human being and instead of staying upright, I find myself tripping over thin
air and face planting the ground.
It's painful, but not as painful as the embarrassment of having everyone
immediately gather around me.
Hands reach down to help me up. I'm not even sure who they belong to, and I
don't much care. I'm too busy wishing I could spontaneously combust myself out
of existence.
"Come on, Dragon, stop snogging the grass and meet Regulus' brother." Nana Mars
orders. She's standing in front of me and brushing the grass away from my
clothes.
"Are you alright?" More than one person asks.
I wave them all away.
"I'm fine. Stop staring at me. It's rude. Didn't anyone ever teach any of you
not to stare? Because they should have. It's a very important lesson in life."
"Well," Kasper says, "to be fair, you did just trip over literally nothing and
bitch slapped the ground with your face."
"Yeah, what did the ground ever do to you? You violent sod." Terry says,
sounding amused now, the tosser.
"You have dirt around your mouth, Drake." Cho says, "It looks like you ate
mud."
"I will burn you. I will burn you all!" I say. Shout. Maybe.
"Now, now, stop being insane." Nana Mars admonishes. She produces some baby
wipes from her neon green satchel and starts wiping at my face. She spits on a
baby wipe at one point and goes to start wiping my face again. I try to stop
her.
"Nana Mars!" I exclaim.
"What?" She asks with a frown.
"You're using baby wipes." I say indignantly.
Nana Mars gives me a blank look,
"So?"
"Baby wipes are already wet." I say.
"So?"
"So you don't need to spit on a wet wipe when it's already wet from being a wet
wipe. That goes against the entire concept of a wet wipe."
Nana Mars knocks the side of my head with her knuckles. She leans forward as if
pretending to listen, then she leans back again and makes a face.
"I think the ground broke his brain." Nana Mars announces.
"Are you sure you're ok?" Cedric asks, his hand on my shoulder again. He's the
only one who looks genuinely concerned at the moment.
"What in Morgana's name are you lot doing over there?" Regulus calls out to us,
sounding disgruntled. Whether it's because of me, or because of his brother, is
unclear.
Everyone is huddled in a tight circle around me. I have no idea what Sirius and
that other onemust be thinking. That we're all insane probably. I would think
that. I do think that. In fact Iknow that we are.
I reach up to pat Cedric's hand, then stop instantly when that burning pleasure
starts up again inside my gut at the contact.
"Don't panic, I'm not dead. Not even a little bit." I say to him. He does not
look reassured at all.
"I can already tell I'm going to die of a heart attack at least a few times
this year," Cedric says, a wry smile on his face, "with you running around
Hogwarts. You've been a danger magnet ever since I've known you."
"Should I be offended again? Are you offending me? You bint." I say, returning
his smile with one of my own. It's hard to feel like an idiot when Cedric is
giving me such a kind and concerned look.
Honestly, Cedric is so handsome and nice, sometimes I wonder if he's even a
real person. But then I remember how he was after his mother died, and how he
fell asleep in a cupboard once when he was drunk, and how when he finds
something really, truly, funny his laughter sounds like an angry duck. I've
known him practically my whole life, and when you've known someone that
intimately it's hard not to notice their quirks.
Part of me actually wants to hide behind my friends just so that I won't have
to lock eyes with that green eyed person again. But before I can put that
particular plan into action, Regulus comes striding over and grabs hold of my
arm. He tugs me away from my safety circle and pulls me along with him as he
walks back over to Sirius.
Regulus puts an arm around my shoulders and holds me close to his side. I try
to step on his foot so he'll let go, but Regulus pinches my arm in warning.
Bastard.
"Big brother, this is my kid. Kid, this is my big brother." Regulus says in a
tone I'm not at all sure what to make of. It makes him sound stupid, whatever
the case.
Sirius beams at me,
"It's great to finally meet you. My little brother has talked about you in his
letters non-stop."
I hold my hand out for a handshake. That's what people do right? Humans. They
shake hands. Right?
I open my mouth to tell Sirius how nice it is to meet him like a normal human
thingy.
"I fell over."
Dear brain,
I hate you.
Love Draco.
Dear Draco,
Mwahh ha ha ha ha. For real doh.
Love Brain.
Ugh.
Sirius' eyes widen a fraction, but he doesn't shun me like he probably should.
"I saw that." Sirius says.
"We all saw it." Regulus says with a snort, "You didn't even trip over your own
feet. You tripped over nothing."
"I was trying to shuffle." I say defensively, as if that makes it any better.
"You're a ridiculous sham of a person." Regulus tells me. "I'm embarrassed of
you."
I glare at him,
"You are a thirty-three year old man carrying a Batman bag."
Kasper and Terry side-five and make bomb noises.
"Oh boom ba boom, like woah!"
"Boom ka pow, like...buuurrrrn!"
Regulus looks over at them and growls,
"I will turn this hill around and roll you back home, I swear it!"
Nana Mars pops up out of nowhere, the stealth factor is strong with that one,
and she narrows her eyes up at Sirius.
"You don't look like a crazy murderer who escaped from magician jail." Nana
Mars says suspiciously.
"I'm not a crazy murderer." Sirius says, "Or a magician."
"I'd rather be a crazy criminal than a magician." Nana Mars says honestly.
"Yeah, magicians suck. Hard." Regulus says, nodding.
I can feelhim looking at me. I ignore his gaze with every bit of willpower
inside my body.
"I think I have old lady spit on my face." I say, to no one in particular.
"That's just weird." Nana Mars says, "Stop saying weird things. You'll scare
Sabertooth."
Who?
"Who?" Regulus, Sirius and I all ask at the same time.
"Oh my God, you are so related. It's creepy." Cho says from...somewhere. I'm
too distracted by too many things to look around properly.
I keep expecting Mr Diggory to jump in at some point, since everyone is getting
involed in this apparently. But I can see that he's too busy fiddling with an
old boot. Whatever makes him happy, I suppose.
Nana Mars points at, and actually pokes, Sirius' face.
"That bloke there. Sabertooth."
I'm not even sure what to say to that.
"His name is Sirius, Nana Mars." Regulus says, although he's snickering too
hard to be taken seriously.
"Where did you even get Sabertooth from?" I ask, and instantly regret it.
Nana Mars shrugs and pokes Sirius on the nose again.
"I dunno, he looks like a Sabertooth to me."
Finally I can't take it anymore...
"Hello!" I yell at him. I wave. I wave vigorously. Harry Potter is standing
seven feet away and I wave at him. A lot.
He's stilllooking at me.
Well of course now he is, I just yelled at him.
"Uh, hello." Harry Potter says. And he actually fucking raises his hand and
waves back at me. The weirdo.
I mean, I have an excuse for doing weird shit. I was a raised by lunatics.
Sirius starts smiling again, and I wonder if that hurts his face. He holds his
hand out and beckons Harry Potter closer.
The new bane of my existence smiles back at Sirius, but his smile is more
reserved. Cautious even.
"This is my Godson-" Sirius starts. But he's cut off by Harry, who actually
reaches forward and takes the hand I offered for a handshake, like, forever
ago.
"Harry Potter." His skin burns mine like his hand is branding my own, and a
wave of lightning intensity travels up my arm and through my nerve endings. How
the hell is he doing this?
Harry Potters voice is surprisingly deep, but with a strange kind if lilt that
I didn't expect. It's a strong, oddly commanding voice, and it causes me to
shiver all over.
"Drake Black." I manage to get out through clenched teeth.
I then realise that we aren't actually shaking hands. Our hands aren't moving.
So that means that we're just holding hands. We are standing here, on a
hilltop, holding hands. God damn it.
How is this even my life?
Words come out of my face.
"Your eyes are green. Like majorly. It's actually kind of epic how green they
are."
I really shouldn't be allowed to talk to other people.
Harry Potter's expression morphs into something that is both amused and
startled. He blushes though, which makes me feel better.
"I'm Harry Potter." Harry Potter says. Now he sounds a bit nervous. Why?
Have I infected him with my awkward weirdness? I didn't know that was possible.
Well now I feel bad.
"Yeah, I got that part." I say.
"Right, right. Thanks." Harry Potter says.
"For what?" I ask.
"Um, the eye thing. That you said. Before. Thanks." Harry Potter says, shifting
nervously.
"Uh...ok...you're...welcome." I say.
"This is so awkward." I hear Kasper say.
"Yeah, you can, like, taste the awkward. That's how awkward it is." Terry says.
"I think I can smell the awkward." Cho says.
"Do they know they're still holding hands?" Nana Mars says.
"I think...your...eyes...they're epic too. Like stars. But blueish. Blue stars.
Um. Yeah." Harry Potter says.
"Yeah, I know. People have said that before." I say.
"Really?" Harry Potter asks, surprised.
"No. But I was trying to be nice. Why did you have to ruin it? Now it's awkward
and that's all your fault." I say, frustrated. My body is still tingling from
his touch. I can't even think in proper sentence now.
"My bad. I take full responsibility for the awkwardness of this moment." Harry
Potter says apologetically.
"Good," I say, "You'd better."
"Your son is weirder than you described." Sirius says, eyeing me.
"I know." Regulus says, sounding resigned.
"He's making my Godson weird." Sirius says.
"He makes everyone weird." Regulus says.
"Definitely got that from you." Sirius says.
"Yeah, well, so's your face." Regulus says.
"You leave my face out of this." Sirius says.
"I don't even know your face." Regulus says.
Sirius frowns, clearly confused. I don't blame him at all.
"That...that didn't make any sense."
"Neither does your face." Regulus replies without missing a beat.
"Oh my God, I missed you. I think." Sirius surges forward and hugs Regulus.
It's a bit uncomfortable since Regulus still has a death grip on me. I try to
pull away from both of them but Regulus is using me to try and get Sirius off
of him by smacking me into Sirius like a battering ram.
AND I'M STILL HOLDING HANDS WITH HARRY POTTER!
It's actually Harry Potter who helps me escape from the Black brothers. He
yanks on my hand and Regulus releases me. But Harry Potter accidentally yanks
too hard and I end up smacking our foreheads together.
We both end up on the ground. Somehow. Someway. I think Harry Potter slipped
and I fell on top of him. But that's just a theory.
Everyone gathers around me again. Apart from Amos Diggory who calls over to us,
"The boot is ready!"
I don't even...like...seriously?
Nana Mars looks down at me and Harry Potter and says,
"This is just like when I met my first husband. Or was it my third...well, it
was one of them anyway...or was it my first wife?"
Cho looks down at us and says,
"Honestly, Drake, now you're just being silly."
Terry looks down at us and says,
"Get in there mate!" (I curse him. CURSE I SAY!)
Kasper looks down at us and says,
"Dray, I can't believe this. I thought I was the only one you did this with."
Cedric looks down at us and says,
"Yep, this year is gonna be one to remember."
Sirius looks down at us and says,
"This whole thing is going exactly how I thought it would. But better. And
weirder."
Regulus looks down at us and says,
"I blame myself for this. I knew giving you the sex talk would only encourage
this kind of behaviour."
Harry Potter locks eyes with me and says,
"So...life. This. You know."
I huff out a laugh,
"I know, right."
Chapter End Notes
     Please comment! x
***** Japan Vs South America *****
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"So...who's playing again?" I ask, trying not to sound too distracted.
"Oh, it's that really infamous Japanese team the 'Toyohashi Tengu's' against
the 'Tarapoto Tree-Skimmers' from Brazil." Regulus says flippantly.
I eye him suspiciously,
"You don't like Quidditch." I accuse, because the look on Regulus' face is just
too innocent.
Regulus sucks in the most fake gasp to have ever of been fake gasped, and
presses a hand over his heart.
"Ilove Quidditch, thank you very much you insolent brat. Now go…get off my
lawn."
Regulus flaps a hand in front of my face and stalks off further into the tent.
He throws himself down onto the black sofa and starts pretending to read a
book. I know he's pretending because Regulus never reads fiction, muggle or
otherwise. Plus he's holding the book upsidown. But he's staring at it
intensely enough that I worry it might actually catch fire, so I decide to
leave him alone.
Things are difficult enough for Regulus right now. He's having to deal with
Sirius and being back in the wizarding world officially after so many years of
isolation. Or at least partial isolation. I don't know how to thank him for all
of the things he gave up to keep me safe all these years. Even if he only did
it to atone for his sins. I like to think that's no longer the main reason
though.
Sirius brought two tents for the seven of us. Mr Diggory has his own tent for
himself and his sons. Nana Mars keeps calling them 'Tardis tents' and I suppose
it's an apt description. Both of the Black tents look like they were decorated
by an evil supervillain, which only lends credence to Nana Mars' apparent need
to act like she's in a James Bond film.
And we're all her enemy.
I'll be surprised if she doesn't end up tasering someone and tying them up with
the cable rope she brought, before we go home. I can already see it happening
so clearly inside my head. It wouldn't even be the first time she's done that.
A few years ago someone tried to break into our house, not a wizard or
anything, but some bloke who decided to steal from an old lady. I think we can
all agree that he made a drastic mistake. Nana Mars caught him in the kitchen
and threw a green 'attack' crystal (sometimes also known as a 'jealousy'
crystal) at the thief. The man went down and I got to watch as Nana Mars
tasered the thief and then tied him up with some silk handkerchiefs.
Nana Mars tied the knots so well that even the police couldn't undo them. I
asked her where she learned to tie knots like that. Nana Mars grinned at me. I
thought she'd say she'd learnt them when she was in the military during WWII,
but Nana Mars just said 'BDSM club in Amsterdam'.
I decided I wasn't old enough to ask for any more details.
Regulus was useless, of course, and only came downstairs looking tired in his
pyjamas once the police had arrived. I don't think he stayed upstairs because
he was afraid, I mean the man fought alongside Voldemort for Christ sake. I
think he just didn't wake up. Regulus has always been a heavy sleeper.
Sirius comes striding into the tent and throws himself down onto the sofa next
to Regulus. Regulus resolutely doesn't look at his brother. He concentrates
even harder on the upsidown book. It's one of Cho's fantasy YA novels about
sparkly vampires or some shit. I don't know how she can read that stuff when
she quite literally lives in a world full of magic, including actual vampires.
Cho says it's no different than a muggle reading about different kinds of not-
real muggles. I wanted to argue that point, but Cho had her stubborn face on
and so I decided to leave it. After nine years, I know when to shut my face and
just nod in agreement. Trust me, you do not want to piss off clever women. They
will crush you. Do not incite their joint wraith because you will always lose.
Even if you win, you will still lose.
It's the way of the world, I'm afraid.
I lean against an ornate beam and watch, with no small amount of amusement, as
Sirius presses himself so far into Regulus' space that he's practically sitting
in his lap. Regulus continues to 'ignore' him though. Sirius starts to pet
Regulus' hair, which causes Regulus to stiffen, but he still doesn't openly
react.
Sirius then presses his forehead against the side of Regulus' head and
whispers, but loud enough for me to hear,
"Tell me all of your secrets."
Sirius opens his mouth and goes to lick up the side of Regulus' face. Regulus
jumps with a screech and hits Sirius over the head with Cho's book. The Black
brothers tumble off of the sofa and land hard on the floor.
"Ihate you Sirius!" Regulus shouts from the floor.
Sirius is laughing. Hard.
For the first time I try to imagine Sirius and Regulus as young boys. Did they
fight like this back then? Regulus told me a few things about his childhood.
From what he told me I can't imagine this kind of behaviour was tolerated by
their pureblood parents. I'm sure they expected their sons to become the
perfect pureblood heirs.
Clearly, that mission was a serious fail.
I leave Regulus and Sirius to their bickering and go off to find my friends.
Nana Mars is out doing, in her own words, 'seriously badass recon stuff'. She
told me to keep an eye out for anything that seems dangerous and report back to
her. I was almost afraid to let her wander off amongst the innocent magical
civilians, but Cedric told me he would look after her. I said I wasn't afraid
something bad would happen to Nana Mars. Nana Mars can take care of herself, no
doubt about that. I'm more worried about what she might do to someone else.
Cedric just laughed, the fool, and offered to help Nana Mars with her 'recon'.
Nana Mars looked him up and down with heavy scrutiny. Finally she declared
'fine, you can be my assistant. It'll be good to have an insider on the team'.
I don't want to know who 'the team' are. I half think that Nana Mars has told
all of her old lady friends about Wizards and Witches and that they've created
some kind of muggle-magic resistance.
It would not surprise me even a little bit if that were true.
Cedric looked perfectly happy to be dragged off with Nana Mars, although his
eyes widened with panic just a tad when Nana Mars muttered something about
'waterboarding' torture techniques.
Kasper and Terry went off to 'find humans'. By that I'm pretty sure they meant
Terry's cousins, who are supposed to be here as well. It's a bit of a
complicated story with Terry's family. Technically, his parents are muggles.
Sort of.
Quinton Boot's father was a squib, both of his parents were pureblood wizards.
Their family originated from North America. Quinton's father married a muggle
and they had three children. Two of whom were born with magic. Quinton was the
only one born without magic, and he married Fiona, a muggle. Of course they had
Terry, who was born with magic.
Quinton's magical siblings moved away. His sister, Castor, went to Brazil for
school at Castelobruxo and has lived there ever since. She teaches Magizoology
at Castelobruxo now, a subject the school is well known for. Quinton's brother,
Xander, was supposed to go to Hogwarts, but he was offered a place at
Ilvermorny in North America, and he chose to go there instead.
Xander Boot married another wizard and they adopted two boys. They named their
two sons Webster and Chadwick after the Boot ancestors who were also adopted by
the founder of Ilvermorny, Isolt Sayre.
Webster and Chadwick are both wizards and were left abandoned by their parents
in the woods not far from Ilvermorny.
I've only personally met Terry's cousins a few times when they've come to visit
Colbie. I always got along with Webster quite well. He's our age, really funny,
and very pretty too. It seems odd to call a boy that, but I've had it said
about me enough times. Usually by Terry when he's feeling especially annoying.
Chadwick is Cedric's age, and according to Webster he is Ilvermorny's golden
boy. I can see why to be honest. Chadwick is courageous, he'd be sorted into
Gryffindor for sure if he went to Hogwarts, clever, an excellent flyer, and
completely gorgeous. Seriously, if Webster and I are considered 'pretty', then
Chadwick is stunningly handsome. He also looks the part of the hero, with his
golden blond hair, sky blue eyes, broad chest, and perfect smile.
I accidentally walked in on Chadwick and Cedric kissing last year when the Boot
extended family came to Colbie for Christmas. It was, and is, the sexiest thing
I've ever seen in my entire life. If I hadn't already known I was gay, then
that sight would have done it for me no question.
I may have taken a picture of them with my phone so that I could show Cho
later. I thought the others wouldn't want to see because, well, they're all
related in some way to either Cedric or Chadwick. I turned out to be wrong
about that because Kasper and Terry and Webster used it as mocking material for
the rest of the Christmas break.
I took the photo discreetly. Sort of. Not discreetly enough maybe. I forgot to
turn the phone on silent, so when I took the picture it made a clicking sound.
That was a major whoops moment. Both Chadwick and Cedric's eyes had darted over
to me standing in the doorway. Chadwick looked both annoyed and amused. Cedric
looked horrified and embarrassed. And, weirdly, just a bit guilty. I said
'gotta boogie' and ran away.
Out of that entire situation, the memory of me saying 'gotta boogie', is the
one thing I wish I could burn from my brain forever.
I find Harry first. He's sitting by an open fire with Cho. They seem to be
talking quite amicably, the two of them leaning towards each other. When they
catch sight of me, Harry starts up with that staring bullshit again. Cho slides
away from Harry and blushes. A lot. Cho's eyes dart between me and Harry, and I
see how obviously nervous she is. I try to contain my smirk as I look at her.
I had no idea Cho had a thing for Harry Potter. She never mentioned it to me.
But then again, Kasper is my best friend and Cho's on-again-off-again
boyfriend. It's not like I would blab to Kasper though if Cho told me she had a
crush on someone else. I don't even think Kasper would mind all that much.
Kasper is so laid back, and not at all the jealous type. He's never had a
reason to be jealous before though to be fair. Maybe he would get jealous.
That'd be kind of funny actually. I know Terry would think so too.
It would make me a bit of tosser if I brought it up though, so I don't mention
the awkward tension. Actually, I think the awkward tension has more to do with
Harry and me. Harry is still staring at me, and for the love of biscuits, I
kind of want to stare at him too. It must be something to do with our scars,
because there's no way anyone could be this instantly connected to someone
after having just met them.
Cho would probably say I was overreacting, but I know what I feel.
"What are you two talking about over here?" I ask, going to sit down next to
them.
"Stuff." Harry says at the same time Cho says,
"Things."
"Oh good," I say, "That narrows it down for me."
Cho sighs and rolls her eyes, giving me a 'for serious, shut your face' scowl.
Hmm, someone is pissy about getting caught canoodling with the-boy-who-stares.
I really don't get why she thinks I care if she wants to entice Harry into her
web of womanly wiles. Nana Mars said that once. She's also the one who
implanted the word 'canoodling' into my head as well.
Honestly, a lot of the weird things I say could be tracked back to either Nana
Mars or Regulus. But I suppose that's what you get when you're raised by an
epically demented old lady and the most rubbish Death Eater ever. Like,
seriously, how did Voldemort spend any amount of extended time with Regulus and
not realise what complete man-child he is?
"Harry was asking about you, actually." Cho says huffily. Or at least there was
a definite huff-like quality to it.
Harry sends Cho a betrayed look, which causes Cho to blush even more and dip
her head. Her dark hair falls to cover her face.
My brain sort of short circuits, and I suddenly have no idea how to process the
phrase 'Harry was asking about you'. He asked about me. Me. Why? Does he
suspect something? I wouldn't blame him if did. My family and I aren't exactly
what most people would call 'subtle'.
"I think you broke him." Harry says to Cho. Those green eyes of his stay
trained on me though.
Cho snorts out a laugh,
"I'm pretty sure we can blame you for that, Harry."
I feel a prick of jealousy that Cho can say Harry's name with such ease. Every
time I try, his name gets stuck in my throat. It's bloody annoying.
"I for one blame Regulus," I say.
Harry's arches a dark eyebrow at me and asks,
"Why?"
I say wryly,
"If you knew Regulus, then you wouldn't need to ask that question."
Harry smiles. With teeth. He has nice teeth. A nice face. A good…um…nose. I
hate him.
"You have top notch nostrils." I say.
Cho's eyes widen. Harry blinks in surprise.
Oh my God, someone please kill me. I can't believe those words formed together
inside my brain and actually had the audacity to come out of my face.
"You like my….nostrils?" Harry asks, looking both pleased and slightly
confused. Good.
I glare at him,
"No. I most certainly do not."
Harry frowns at me,
"But you just said-"
"I know what I said." I snap at him, "I haven't got the retentive memory of a
gold fish. I just said you had top notch nostrils because….because I was trying
to nice. I like being nice to people. I am a very nice person. Regulus doesn't
think so. I know that because he told me when I was eight and he took me
shopping. He tried on a lucre shell suit and he asked me if it made him look
fat. I said he looked like a dolphin trainer. A fat dolphin trainer. Regulus
said I was a mean little elf and that Santa wouldn't be bringing me any
presents that year because Santa doesn't give presents to little elf children
who say their Guardian looks like a dolphin trainer. I reminded him about the
fat part because he forgot to say it that time. Regulus huffed and said I was
definitely not getting any presents from Santa that year for sure. I asked if I
would still get the presents Regulus and Nana Mars bought for me every year.
Regulus asked which ones were those. I said they were the presents with a note
on them that said 'from Santa' in Regulus's hand writing. It wouldn't ever be
Nana Mars who wrote the note because Nana Mars doesn't write, she says it's
against her religion to use a pencil, or a pen. She uses her old-timey type
writer instead. Regulus tried to get her to use a quill once and Nana Mars
banished him from the house. He had to sleep in the shed for three days. I
asked Nana Mars what her religion was and she said something in what I think
was a made up language. I asked if I could join her religion, but Nana Mars
said no because I'm a wizard. I said that was prejudice. Nana Mars said that
almost everything is prejudice towards someone or something and that I would
have to accept it. I said I didn't want to accept it. Nana Mars said that I
would have to fight 'the man' then. I asked who 'the man' was and Nana Mars
told me 'the man' is whoever tries to stop you from fighting for what you
believe in. I asked her what I believe in. Nana Mars told me I would have to
figure that out for myself."
I finally run out of oxygen and have to take a break.
Both Harry and Cho are staring at me now. Cho's stare is full of fond
exasperation. Harry just appears to be gaping at me unintelligibly.
My head hurts.
Finally Harry lets out a breathe that he must have been holding in, and he
says,
"Wow. Like. Just. Wow."
Now there's definitely a bit of awe in Harry's eyes. Damn it.
I take a deep breathe,
"Ok, um, right….so in conclusion-"
"Drake!" Cho says, but her eyes are saying 'shut up, shut up, shut up'.
I take the hint and shut up. For about three seconds.
I look directly at Harry and say,
"I lied. I didn't just say it to be nice. Your nostrils really are top notch."
"Oh for the love of Merlin…" Cho mutters, shaking her head at me.
"You're very strange." Harry says, but he seems quite happy about it for some
reason. Weirdo.
"I know." I say with a sigh, my shoulders slumping in defeat.
"Cho says you grew up in the same muggle town as her. Colbie, right?" Harry
shifts a bit closer to me on the wooden bench.
A lick of heat runs up and down my spine, and I'm pretty sure it's not from my
proximity to the actual fire. I put my hands in my lap so that Harry won't
touch me. I do not need that same burning desire I felt last time. It was
overwhelming. Scorching. Completely terrifying. And I have no idea what caused
such a feeling to flare to life inside me. It wasn't even a sexual pulse of
longing, it was just….a steady flame of yearning desire. A desire to be closer.
Become one with.
If I never feel that way ever again for the rest of my life then I'll be bloody
happy about it. But of course I have the direct source of that feeling sitting
right next to me. I really shouldn't be that surprised. Even hearing Harry's
name used to do something to me. Always has, ever since I can remember.
I feel the need to blame Harry, even though I know it's not his fault. He seems
just as bewildered as I am. Maybe more so since he doesn't know just how
connected we actually are through our joint past.
Harry's eyes are intent on me, and I can already tell he's one of those people
who feel things with their whole heart. 'All or nothing types', Nana Mars calls
people who are like that. She told me once to be careful with men who are all
or nothing types because they usually turn out to be either the worst, or the
best, thing that will ever happen to you; And that it can hard to tell the
difference between the two sometimes.
"Yeah," I say after a lengthy pause, "I've lived in Colbie pretty much my whole
life." Except for when we lived together in Godric's Hollow. You know, the
place where our parents were murdered and we somehow destroyed Voldemort. That
place.
"Were you raised just by your Dad?" Harry asks, sounding genuinely curious.
The use of the word 'Dad' throws me a bit, but I say,
"No. I had Nana Mars. And I had my friend's parents too." Because even though
we're separate families, we're also all part of the same really big one. The
family mad, Regulus says sometimes.
"Not your mum?" Harry asks, peering at me a little closer.
I almost snap at him for that one, but I stop myself at the last second. It's
not like Harry isn't asking a perfectly normal question. If he thinks Regulus
is my dad, then he must assume there was a mother around at some point.
"Oh, um, she died when I was one years old." I say, playing it safe. It still
hurts to think about my mother being dead, even though I never really knew her.
She was my mother and I'm quite sure she loved me.
I wonder, sometimes, how different my life would have been if my father hadn't
turned spy against Voldemort. If my parents hadn't died, what kind of life
would I have had? What kind of person would I be now?
I made the mistake of saying that to Regulus once and said 'you'd be a pompous
little shit, just like all the other pureblood heirs'. I reminded him that he
isa pureblood heir. Regulus just nodded and said 'yeah, and I was an arrogant
little shit. So was my brother. And so were all of our pureblood friends. It
didn't make us bad people. We were just raised a certain way, and being a
haughty little shithead was one of the consequences of that'.
Harry's eyes turn sad, the flame in them dimming ever so slightly. He opens his
mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.
"You're about to say you're sorry, aren't you? Well don't. It's not your fault
they're—she's dead." I'm so used this song and dance of telling people my
parents are dead and them being sorry. I'm so over having to pretend to accept
people's apologies for something that has nothing to do with them.
"Actually I was going to say that you're lucky to have people who love you,
like Regulus and Nana Mars." Harry says candidly.
I wince internally.
"You're right, I am lucky. I'm sorry about getting snippy, it's just that I'm
so tired of-"
"Hey," Harry holds up a hand to stop me, "I get it. Both of my parents died and
ever since I came to Hogwarts people have been saying all kinds of stupid
stuff. I get pretty mean about it these days, just because I'm so fed up with
having to deal with other people's crap."
"Yeah, and even when you know they mean well, it still doesn't make it better."
I say, nodding in understanding.
Harry looks a bit less sad now, and his eyes are bright again. I'm glad. I
didn't like him being upset, especially because of me.
"So where did you grow up?" I ask Harry, my interest in him renewing with a
vengeance.
Harry face darkens, and I worry I've asked the wrong thing. But a moment later
the darkness is gone, as if Harry has just remembered something.
"I was given to my mother's sister and her husband. I lived with them right up
until last year when Sirius came back and we proved his innocence. I've moved
in with Sirius now." There's more than a touch of relief in his voice as he
says those words. It makes me a bit angry on his behalf, even though I don't
know anything about his life with his Aunt and Uncle. It could have been
perfectly nice for all I know.
But something deep down inside me tells me that isn't true. I don't ask about
it though because I don't want to stress Harry out for no reason.
"How is living with Sirius?" I ask Harry.
Harry grins and replies,
"How is living with Regulus?"
We both crack up laughing.
Cho stares at us, as she's been doing for the last ten minutes, with droll
smile.
…
"Harry, meet Webster. Webster, meet Harry." I say, flickering a hand in between
them.
Harry, Cho and I met back up with Kasper and Terry before the match. Apparently
they couldn't find Webster and Chadwick. After the game, however, the Boot's
came over to our tents.
All of the adults are inside, drinking wine and fire whiskey. Everyone under
eighteen is sitting around the big fire right outside our tents.
The match was great, and really exciting. I'm glad we came, but less because of
the actual Qudditch match and more because it's just really fun getting to hang
out with all of my friends. New and old.
Webster holds out a fist for Harry, expecting him to bump it. Harry raises an
eyebrow at the fist, but leans forward and bumps it with his own anyway.
Webster grins at Harry and says,
"Awesome to meet you boy-who-lived-and-grew-up-to-be-hot. For reals."
Harry blushes like crazy and shifts a little bit closer to me, and away from
Webster, as if seeking safety from the insane American. I can't blame him.
Webster can be pretty full on sometimes. I think it's an American thing, I
really do. Not to stereotype or anything, but both Webster and Chadwick have
this weird inner confidence thing going on that I've never seen a British
person have. Unless they get drunk first.
"I still can't believe Kaito Hoshi made that dive." Terry says, shaking his
head in disbelief, eyes wide and shining.
"It was incredible!" Cho says excitedly, nodding so much that her body is
bouncing up and down. "Katio Hoshi is the best seeker in the world, hands
down!"
Kaito Hoshi is the Toyohashi Tengu's brilliant seeker. He's only just turned
eighteen and already he's known as one of the most skilled Quidditch players in
the world. Of course Japan is quite infamous for its Quidditch teams. Cho
always says it's because of their magical school, Mahoutokoro, which is very
rigorous and strict. Far more so than Hogwarts.
"Nah, I'm more of a João Coelho fan. He's the youngest captain ever to be
chosen in his league." Terry says, sounding just as excited as Cho, minus the
bouncing. But only just.
João Coelho is the Captain of the world-renowned Quidditch team, the Tarapoto
Tree- Skimmers. They won the game tonight. But it was Kaito Hoshi who caught
the snitch with a very impressive broom dive.
Cho and Terry go on chattering about the game, both of them arguing
passionately, their arms flailing around when they try to make a point about
something. Cho is the seeker for Ravenclaw at Hogwarts, and I think she might
want to play professionally once she leaves Hogwarts. Probably for the Tutshill
tornadoes. They're kinda the underdogs in the British and Irish league, but Cho
thinks they could really make a go of it if they had the right captain. And the
right seeker.
I think Nana Mars enjoyed the game more than any of us. She bought one of those
noise makers and I swear, even though the arena was packed with people, Nana
Mars was definitely the loudest. She very quickly decided to support the
Japanese team, mostly because Kaito Hoshi reminded her of an old friend from
her school days. You know, like a bazillion years ago. The only problem was she
kept 'forgetting' that Kaito Hoshi was not her old school friend and so instead
of calling out the seekers' name, Nana Mars would shout 'come on Kevin, kick
Brazil in the taint'.
"Oi, you play nice with Harry," Kasper warns Webster, leaning over to drape an
arm around my shoulders, "He's our Dray's new bestie."
I almost want to tell Kasper and Cho and Harry then, if only so he'll stop
looking at me with such devilish intent. But that would be mean and wrong. Plus
Cho would kick my arse. And then she'd tell Nana Mars, who would also kick my
arse. But probably with a big crystal instead of the heavy bound book that Cho
would use.
Webster smirks and says to Harry,
"Ah, don't go making Kas jealous. You'd have more luck trying to steal his
girlfriend than his Dragon. Trust me."
That causes Harry to gape like a wounded fish, Kasper to hide his face in my
neck, and me to laugh only half anxiously.
Kasper presses cool lips to the side of my neck and nips my skin with his
teeth.
"I don't get jealous because I know I'll always be your favourite." Kasper
whispers into my ear.
I lean into him and whisper back,
"Too right."
Kasper grins and wraps his arms around me, yanking me back and into his lap. I
flail around for about seconds before deciding to go limp and let Kasper
arrange me however he wants. It's usually easier that way with Kasper.
Webster rolls his dark blue eyes and says,
"Kas, seriously, you are like, the gayest straight bloke I've ever met."
Kasper squeezes me tightly and says happily,
"Only for Dray, though."
Harry is watching us, seeming a bit confused. I can kinda of get why. I guess
it seems strange if you don't know us, or mine and Kasper's history with each
other.
Kasper is the first friend I ever made. I was the one Kasper told when he broke
his mother's favourite necklace. Kasper was the one who held my hand in the
playground because he knew I was nervous about being around so many other
children. I was the one Kasper showed his secret hiding spot in the caves to.
Kasper was the one who I first told about my parents, and the dreams I had
about their deaths. I was the first person Kasper came to when he found out his
mother been killed. Kasper was the first person I told that I'm gay. I was the
only person Kasper admitted his fears to about going to Hogwarts. Kasper was
the first person who ever kissed me. I was the one who convinced Cho to give
Kasper a chance after he told me he fancied her. Kasper was the only one who
understood why I wanted to spend Halloween alone every year. I was the only one
who understood why Kasper felt the need to act out against his father all the
time.
The thing is, when you know someone like that, in so many intimately different
ways...they become a part of you. And it can be hard to explain that level of
connection to someone whoisn't a part of it. Even Cho and Terry don't always
get my relationship with Kasper. I'm pretty sure Kasper and Cho have even
argued about it before. I know Terry and Kasper definitely have. I overheard
them one time when they thought I was in the other room. Kasper was telling
Terry to back off, and Terry was growling back at Kasper to stop being so weird
about Draco.
I still have no idea what 'weird about Draco' actually meant.
I look at Harry and start to say something, when suddenly a high pitched scream
rings out through the night. More screams promptly follow, and in a matter of
seconds the campsite is swamped with green and blue fire.
Chapter End Notes
     Special shout out to-RonnieDeVille and mosquito_marie75-THANK YOU MY
     UNICORN BRETHREN! X
***** Chaos reigns *****
Chapter Summary
     Warning: Slight gore
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Screams fill the air.
People in robes and skull masks stride through the campsite turning everything
to ash with blue and green fire.
When I say 'people' I really mean 'lunatics'.
The night air is cool, but the bite of the fire is harsh and undeniable. I feel
my breath catch in my throat as I watch people running and shouting and crying.
A violent kind of tension seeps into my bones and frightens the shit out of me.
My heart freezes in my chest when I realise there are people floating in the
air. It's clear to me that they're being tortured by the masked figures. Having
grown up with a Death Eater and Pureblood dark wizard, I know all about torture
curses, including the unforgivables. It always made me feel sick to hear about
them, even from Regulus. He never tried to downplay the nastiness of those
curses though.
Regulus wanted me to be prepared. For what, I wasn't sure. I didn't know why it
would matter. Now maybe I do.
One of the people being tortured in mid-air arches their back grotesquely, and
I know what's about to happen. I tell myself not to look, but I just can't. The
victim's neck slices open and blood rains from the sky. Shithead number one
just laughs and laughs as he drops his wand and the still twitching body of his
victim hits the ground with a solid thud.
I swear, even though there are hundreds of people screaming all around me, I
hear that body hit the grass. It's the most painful sound I've ever heard.
Final and harrowing. It cuts into my soul and leaves behind a stain that I know
even now that I will never be able to remove.
I feel hands on my body as I'm pulled up to my feet. My family and friends are
shouting at me, trying to get me to move. But all I can concentrate on is the
body of a small woman whose eyes are open and staring at nothing. Her neck is
slit from ear to ear and blood still trickles out of the cleanly cut wound.
"Please, Dray, we have to move now!"
"Run, or I will pick you up and take you with me!"
"I will drag you away if I have to, Drake!"
Different peoples' voices scream into my ear. But it's all just background
noise to me.
The whole campsite it consumed by fire, screaming, and death.
More people are being elevated into the air to be tortured. Torn apart.
Murdered.
Then I think of them. My friends. My family. People I love more than anything
else in the world. People I would die for. I need to help them. I need to
protect them.
But I still cannot move.
It's not until a hand touches mine that I find myself again. It's a hand I
recognise even though I'm lost to the chaos burning my sanity to sinders. That
hand strikes a cord in me. It feels like a connection to the outside world. A
world not dominated by death and pain and devastation. That hand grips mine
like a vice and I find myself holding on just as tight.
Then there's a voice. A voice that cuts through the screaming.
"Come with me."
I turn my head, my own pale eyes meeting eyes so impossibly green, that it
almost hurts to look at them at all.
"Trust me." He says. "I'll protect you. I promise."
I feel that promise reverberate through me with the intensity of a lightning
strike. Even more so because I know he means it. I don't know how I know that,
but I do. Iknow. And it's maddening.
I want to tell him that it's not fear. What is causing me to stand here. I am
not afraid, even though I should be.
"I trust you." I tell him gravely. Harry seems deeply reassured by that.
Regulus is suddenly there, his hands on my face, blocking my view of the dead
woman. His grey eyes are fierce with worry and anger,
"Stay with me, son. We're apparating all you kids out of here."
I nod firmly, my mind returning to me slowly.
More screams fill the air.
Kasper, Cho, Terry, Cedric, Webster and Chadwick apparently refused to leave
without me. I shout at them to go, to go now. Cho has tear in her eyes, and I
know they're for me more than anything else. Terry appears both determined and
afraid. Only Terry could mix the two together so perfectly and still look like
he's ready to kick someone's arse.
Kasper is staring at me this look on his face that I can't interpret, not right
now anyway. There's fear in it. Fear for me so great that it encompasses
everything. I have to glance away from him. It's too much. Just too much.
Maybe even worse though is the look in Cedric's eyes. I think he might strangle
me later with how pissed off he clearly is. I can't blame him. Trust me to have
a bloody panic attack in the middle of…..whatever the flying fuck is going on
here.
I urge my friends to go before me. My hand is still clasped in Harry's for
reasons I'd rather not look at too closely.
Mere minutes have passed since that first scream, but it feels like a lifetime
to me.
Adults from our group start apparating my friends out of here. I still refuse
to leave. I force Regulus to take Nana Mars before he takes me. Nana Mars tries
to argue. I glare at both of them. The two people who raised me and loved me
and protected me my whole life.
Regulus locks eyes with me and there's understanding there. Respect even. He
gives me a small nod and takes hold of a still arguing Nana Mars. With a crack
they're both gone.
Only then do I realise that all of my friends have been taken to safety as
well. I'm let out a sigh of relief even as the fire destroying the campsite
surrounds us almost completely.
Harry refused to leave my side, even when Sirius tried to drag him away. He
must have seen something in Harry's eyes that told him to back off, because
with a pained look, Sirius just nodded once and went to apparate with Cho.
I hear the crack of people apparating even above the sounds of the raging fire
and victims of torture screaming.
I tell myself not to look, but again, I can't help myself. More people have
been captured by shitheads incorporated. Victims writhe and contort in the air,
their bodies bending in impossible ways. Something clenches inside my stomach
as Harry and I try to stay hidden.
Just a few more seconds and then Regulus and Sirius will come to get me and
Harry away from the danger zone.
Harry squeezes my hand and moves closer. I feel instantly comforted, even
though I don't know why. I look up at Harry. He's watching me with concern. He
doesn't look afraid though. If anything, he's calm. It should be off putting
and weird, but for some reason it makes sense to me. Apart from the fear I feel
for my friends and family, I'm not afraid either.
I see one of the masked arseholes move away from his group. He raises his wand
and shouts a spell I know all too well from my shielding studies with Regulus.
Hope of being rescued is destroyed.
"Xanthrafaros!"
A jet of dark blue light shoots out of shithead number two's wand. It travels
upwards and hits the sky with a deafening explosion. Blue fire fills the sky,
blocking out the moon and the stars. A dome of magic spreads and curves across
the sky.
"What the hell was that?" Harry gasps.
My expression becomes strained as I tell him,
"That…that was a spell that blocks apparation."
Harry's eyes widen in horror.
"So Sirius and Regulus can't come back for us?"
I shake my head stiffly,
"No, they can't. We're on our own."
Fury boils and spits inside my stomach.
Green and blue fire grows and spreads all around us. We can't stay here much
longer or we'll be burnt alive.
I recognise the green fire. It's acid fire. Acid fire was created during the
war by one of Voldemorts followers. It melts skin and bone. The blue fire was
also created during war. It's known as 'Ice fire'. Instead of burning you with
heat, the blue fire freezes you to death within seconds. Even a lick of blue
fire can give you instant frostbite.
Some of the taken people are being held over the fire by the shitheads in
masks. Their skin pops and melts off their bones. Other people turn to icicles,
their bond crunching with the pressure of it. Spines snap and eyes are burnt
out of the people's heads.
It's a horrific sight. But instead of scaring me, all it does is make me want
to destroy the vile creatures in masks who think they have any right to do
this.
"We gotta move, Drake." Harry says, his tone of grim determination cracks like
a whip.
Harry's right, we have to get away from here. Either shitheads incorporated
will find us or the fire will kill us anyway.
"Alright, but I don't know how we'll get through without being seen." I say,
not wanting to go out there with no plan at all.
Harry smiles solemnly and says,
"I have something that could help with that."
I frown at him, not understanding.
Harry pulls me along with him into our half demolished tent. We avoid the licks
and flares of fire until Harry reaches black bag. He rips it open and pulls out
a strange looking cloak. He thrusts it at me and says,
"This is an invisibility cloak. It was my father's."
Woah. That's kind of incredible. I've read about the theory behind such an
object, but I didn't think one actually existed.
Harry drapes the cloak over both of our heads. It's a bit of a tight squeeze,
but we manage it. Not like we have a problem with being close, that's been
firmly established at least. I think of what dirty joke Nana Mars would make
about that and how Kasper and Terry would tease me until the end of forever.
I feel a momentary strike of panic that my friends and family could have been
killed here tonight. It might have even been my fault if Harry hadn't of been
able to snap me out of my death filled daze. They must be losing their
collective shit right now. Regulus will probably be trying to fly back here on
a damn broom, propelled by his innate need to protect me. If I die here,
Regulus will never forgive me. Or himself. Or anyone else. Guilt tinges the
edge of mind, but I push it back. Now is certainly not the time.
"Let's go." I say to Harry. We keep our hands twined together under the cloak.
Harry's touch keeps me grounded as we move guardedly through the campsite. Most
of the shitheads in masks are content to continue torturing people until they
get bored and decide to kill them. I don't think they'd notice us even if we
didn't have Harry's cloak. They all seem too intent on causing as much damage
and pain as possible.
Skulls are burst by aneurism spells. Chests are torn open, revealing the jagged
points of ribs. Bones crunch. Skin slices. Blood pours, splatters and sprays.
It's revolting to witness. But no matter which way we go, there's no escaping
it either.
Aurors suddenly start swooping in and try to fight back against the masked
shitheads. I don't think it's going too well, considering the amount of
hostages the masked shitheads have already collected. One Auror even becomes
entangled and he dies screeching and choking as his tongue is cut out of his
head and his eyes are gouged out by a blade of pure dark magic.
"They're Death Eaters," Harry says, rage making his voice come out as sharp as
a dagger, "They're his bastards."
I squeeze his hand even tighter, enough for it to seriously hurt, and say
simply,
"I know."
Of course it's him. Of course its Voldemort's legion of arseholes who have
decided to cause havoc. My introduction to the wizarding world has ended
nothing but death and destruction. Are we surprised? No? Good, because neither
am I.
Harry and I have almost reached the edge of the campsite without incident,
which makes me more than a bit suspicious. It shouldn't be this easy. Of course
that's when I realise that our path is blocked by strong wards. I can recognise
them because it was one of the first things Regulus taught me how to do. He
said 'no child of mine is going to let himself get smacked in the face with a
ward'. Nana Mars made a joke about Regulus teaching his ward about wards. It
was a lot funnier when she said it, trust me.
Merlin, I hope they're all safe.
I stop Harry from moving any further.
"We're blocked in by wards. Unless we can breach it, there's no way we can
leave."
Plus, they probably have the wards spelled so that whenever someone tries to
break them, they'll be able to sense it. That's assuming shitheads incorporated
are smart enough to think of that. I don't know enough about our enemy to judge
their level of intelligence. I can judge the depth of their blood lust though.
I hope the ministry rounds each and every one of them up and locks them away in
Azkaban for the rest of their miserable lives.
"We need another plan." Harry says, undaunted by our new obstacle.
We're far enough away from the fighting now that I actually hear the muffled
screams of a girl coming from a few burnt out tents over. The fire isn't so bad
around here and the wards are stronger, which means this is where the masked
shitheads came in.
Harry's eyes dart to where the muffled screams are coming from. His expression
hardens to granite, and I read the look on his face before he can say anything.
He wants to help whoever that girl. And so do I.
Without a word spoken between us, we head in the direction of the muffled
screams. Our hands are still clasped tightly together.
What we see when we find the girl who was screaming makes my stomach flip ten
times over. If I weren't so angry I would probably throw up.
A girl with bushy brown hair and wide hazel eyes is being dragged across the
ground by her hair. One of the masked shitheads is gripping onto her hair and
yanking at it as he moves. He's snickering, but there's a foul look of intent
on his face that sickens me.
The girl's clothes are ripped to shreds and there's so much blood that I can't
really see where the wound, or wounds, are on her body. Possibly the most
damaging would seems to be the one on her mouth. The girl's lips have been sown
together with what looks like black thread. I recognise the dark arts spell
from one of Regulus' books. Blood is drying all around her mouth, her lips torn
and shredded. That would be why her screams are muffled.
She's writhing around frantically, but I think it's more from panic and the
need to escape than pain.
Masked shithead number three lets out a low growl and stops abruptly. He points
his wand down at the girl and hisses,
"Crucio."
The girl's body arches upwards unnaturally, her spine bending to a painfully
awkward angle. More muffled screams try to escape from her sown mouth.
"Hermione!" Harry breathes heatedly.
My gaze darts up to Harry's face, which is set in both revulsion and anguish,
before returning to Hermione's battered form.
Hermione. The girl my friends have told me about. The genius muggleborn girl.
Wehave to save her. She'll either die or be driven mad by curses and agony if
we don't.
Harry already has his wand out. I take mine out too. My wand is special. Or at
least that's what Regulus says. He called it the 'elder wand' once by mistake.
I knew he hadn't meant to say it because of slight edge of panic that entered
his eyes immediately after.
I couldn't find any mention of such wand in all the books I've read, which is a
hell of a lot. I won this wand from Regulus during a duel when I was eleven and
he told me to keep it. The wand had felt right, more so than the wand Regulus
had previously given me to practice with. There was a gleam in Regulus' eyes
when he told me to keep the wand that I didn't know how to interpret. I still
don't really.
Only Kasper knows the truth about my wand. I think I'll probably keep it that
way for the foreseeable future.
Without looking at him, I say to Harry,
"On three we both stun him."
I feel Harry nod. For the first time we let go of each other hands so that we
can aim our wands at masked shithead number three and take off the cloak at the
same time.
"One."
"Two."
"Three-"
We rip the invisibility cloak away and point our wands at masked shithead
number three. I have a short moment to enjoy the look of surprise on his face
before both Harry and I shout,
"Expelliarmus!"
Masked shithead number three is sent flying backwards, his wand going off in
the other direction. Harry chases after masked shithead number three, and uses
a body bind spell to stop him from getting back up and attacking us.
I rush over to Hermione and drop down to my knees beside her. Now that I'm
closer, I can see where her actual wounds are. Harry joins me, dropping down on
the other side of Hermione. Hermione's eyes are glazed over, and I worry that
she might pass out.
Harry's teeth are gritted, and he looks like he wants to destroy a small
village. Or kill some masked shitheads. His hair is even messier than it was
before, which is almost impressive. He looks dishevelled and wrecked, but also
strong and unwavering.
"Talk to her, Harry." I say to him. His gaze snaps up to meet mine, and I
almost gasp at the wild glow of those green eyes. "Keep her focused and awake.
I know enough healing spells to help her until we can get her some proper
medical attention."
Harry dips his head in understanding. He reaches down to take hold of
Hermione's hand.
"Hey, Hermione." Harry says, with surprising softness.
Hermione turns her head to look up at Harry. She still seems out of it, but
that's the pain shock, a common occurrence when someone has been attacked using
the cruciatus curse. Regulus made me read all about it.
Regulus also insisted that I read everything there was to know about medimagic.
He got me books full of healing spells and even let me practice on him. Of
course a lot of it is still theory to me because I've never had the chance to
practice with major injuries.
Hermione has a few slashes across her stomach, but they don't look deep enough
to prove fatal as long as I patch them up fast. My biggest worry is the wound
on her mouth. There's dried blood all around her nose and I'm not sure if she
can breathe properly.
Harry is murmuring kind, gentle words to Hermione. His expression deceptively
calm.
"Remember me Hermione," he says, "Harry Potter. I'm that boy who you think gets
into too much trouble." It's lightly teasing, and Hermione seems to be
responding positively. Her eyes are more focused now, and I'm no longer
concerned that she'll pass out on us.
I use healing spells on Hermione's more obvious slash wounds. It takes some
time and concertation, but I manage it without too many problems. Again though,
I'm more worried about her mouth.
"Are you breathing alright, Hermione?" I ask gently. I peer a bit closer at her
face, whilst trying to look as confident as possible. For Hermione's sake more
than anything.
"Squeeze my hand once for yes and twice for no." Harry says, lifting their
joint hands slightly.
Hermione nods just a little and squeezes Harry's hand once.
Good, that's really good.
I think I know the counter curse for what's been done to Hermione's mouth, but
I'm not sure if I should try it. The last thing I want is to make things worse.
"You know how to undo it." Harry says. We both know what he's talking about and
it's not a question.
I give him a searching look. But Harry's expression remains composed and
resolute.
"I think so." I say quietly, "But if I get it wrong…." I don't want, or need,
to finish that sentence.
Harry understands, I can see it on his face. But he also looks frustrated. I
feel the same say. We're caught at a crossroads. Eiether we wait for the Aurors
to drive out shitheads incorporated, or I try to help Hermione now. I don't
know which would be more damaging to Hermione. Her mouth is bleeding quite
badly, and I think the curse is getting worse as time goes on.
This curse is one I've read about extensively, because Regulus told me it was
one he'd used on another boy when he was thirteen. He'd found it in the dark
arts section of the Black family library. Regulus told me he hadn't really
known what it would do at the time.
It's called the 'black lace' curse, and it starts off by sowing the victims
mouth closed with unbreakable magic in the form of black material. After a
certain amount of time, the curse moves further into the victims mouth and sows
the victims tongue to the bridge of their mouth and the skin of their gums is
flayed open. Eventually the curse reaches the victims throat and then further
down, sowing and piercing their lungs.
The 'black lace' curse is a very slow and tortuous way to die. It was created
more for mental torture than physical. Slow acting curses usually are.
Hermione quite suddenly raises her over hand and grasps hold of my arm. She
widens her eyes and I lean in closer, trying to understand. I panic that maybe
the really is getting worse and that she'll die before I can help her. But
Hermione just nods towards the hand which is still clasped with Harry. Then she
squeezes Harry's hand once.
I think I understand now.
"Are you sure Hermione?" I ask her seriously, "I won't lie to you. I've never
done this before. It could go wrong. But I do know the right spell to use to
counteract the curse. Do you want me to try it?"
I really should have asked her to begin with. It's Hermione's decision if she
wants to take a chance either way.
Hermione pauses, her eyes latching onto mine and dragging me under. She appears
uncertain for a second. But then something on her face hardens decisively and
she squeezes Harry's hand once. Hard.
Alright then.
I exchange a look with Harry. He nods at me and mouths 'you got this'. I'm not
sure if I have got this or not, that's the problem. But it helps that Harry has
faith in my abilities, even if I don't.
I swallow hard and bring my wand up to hover over Hermione's shredded and sown
mouth. I will my magic to help as I say,
"Xan shi kaz."
I repeat the counter curse three times like the book I read recommended.
For a moment I hold my breath, internally panicking that I've gotten this wrong
and that I've ruined everything.
But then the black material begins to dissolve and relief floods through me.
Once Hermione is able to part her lips again, I immediately start working on
healing the wounds around and inside her mouth. Harry continues talking to
Hermione in that same deep, soothing tone of his. I think Harry's controlled
presence reassures both me and Hermione that everything is going to be alright.
When Hermione is mostly healed up, our previous problem resurfaces. We still
need to get to somewhere safe. Hermione's attacker is knocked out cold, and for
a single second I wish I was the kind of person who could easily kill someone.
But I'm not that kind of person at all, but there's not much point in dwelling
on it.
Hermione seems to be dealing with everything quite well. But I have a feeling
that's just the adrenaline and the shock. Once both wear off, I imagine she'll
be a mess. Hell, I'll probably be a mess as well. We can all be fucked up
together. Hurray. Cue slow hand clap everyone.
Harry helps Hermione get to her feet. He takes off his jacket and gives it to
Hermione. Hermione smiles at him gratefully. She turns to me and her eyes start
to fill with tears. Hermione envelopes me in a hug, which catches me off guard,
making me jump.
Harry smirks at me. I narrow my eyes at him from over Hermione's shoulder.
"Thank you. Thank you so much." Hermione's voice is ragged, for obvious
reasons. But I can still understand her words.
I hug Hermione back carefully, mindful of torture she has endured tonight.
"No problemo." I say, and then wince internally. Why am I so crap at being a
real person?
Hermione pulls away from me. There's a frown on her face. Shit.
"I'm sorry," I babble, "Please ignore all the words that come out of my face.
Seriously. I can't really talk like a normal human. Just ask my friends,
they'll all tell you how weird my brain is. Actually, you know my friends I
think. Well, you all go to the same school so you've probably at least seen
them. Hogwarts is big, I know that, and there's loads of students, and you're
in different houses. So maybe you've never spoken to them before. Although
Kasper, that's one of my before mentioned friends who could tell you I'm weird,
told me he once asked you for some notes that he missed in charms class. He
said you told him off for not paying attention, but that you still gave him the
notes anyway. I thought that was nice of you, and it reminds me of my friend
Cho, do you know her? She's another one of those people who can tell you I'm
weird. She's a girl though. Not that you would know her just because she's a
girl. That would probably be sexist, and Nana Mars always told me that all men
should be feminists. She once took me to a feminists political rally in London
and it was scary. Feminists are scary. They threw things. Not that all women
are scary. Just the feminist ones who throw things and shout about castration
and stuff. So, sorry, I didn't mean that because you're a girl you would
automatically know another girl. I just meant that Cho is a girl instead of
being a boy like Kasper. And me. And our other friend Terry who you might also
know. Maybe."
I hate my brain.
I look over at Harry, who has his lips pressed together in a tight line. I know
he's trying not to laugh. I just knowit. That prick. That unfairly brave prick.
Who I find weirdly attractive. Weird because, although Harry is fit in his own
way, that's not what I find attractive about him. It's his strength and his
ability to keep a level head in a terrifying situation and the way he kept both
me and Hermione calm just by being there and talking to us.
Is it fucked up to think someone is sexy because of howintensely valiant they
are? I think maybe it is. I also think it's fucked up that I'm even thinking
about this right now. I blame being a fourteen year old male. I blame it hard.
I almost fall over from shock when a sound bursts out of Hermione's now healed
mouth. I would expect a cry of distress or a shout of anger. Not a bloody bark
of laughter.
Hermione's looks just as surprised as I am about her outburst and she lifts a
hand to touch her fingers to her lips.
"I'm sorry," Hermione says croakily, shaking her head, her eyes fixed on my
face, "I don't mean to laugh, it's just…..what even are you? Seriously?"
I do not know how to answer that.
Luckily, or maybe not so luckily, Harry apparently does.
"You'd get it if you met his family." Harry says, and there is definitely
humour in his voice now, the flaming sod.
I will end him. I have the power!
"Hey, excuse me," I say, glowering at them both. But mostly at Harry. The git.
"This is no time for your riff raffing around."
"My riff—what?" Harry's eyebrow quirks up.
"You heard me." I snap at him. "No being a major goat."
"Do you mean 'git'?" Harry asks.
"I know what I meant!" I glare at him.
Hermione's eyes keep darting between us, and she says,
"Ok, this is turning into a thing."
"This is not a thing." I say, scandalised. "There is no thing. You better get
your eyes checked, Sabrina, because clearly you don't know when there is, and
when there is not, a thing. Ask your eye doctor to test you for being able to
see things. You probably don't even know what a thing looks like."
Hermione gives me a once over thoughtfully. She turns to Harry and jerks a
thumb back at me,
"Is he always like this?" she asks.
Harry shrugs one shoulder and says with a strange kind of smile,
"I honestly don't know. I only just met him today."
Hermione's eyes widen in shock. She looks back and forth between us a few
times. I scowl at Harry. He smirks back at me.
I hate him.
Hermione says, looking confused,
"For serious? I thought you were, like, best friends or something."
I scoff,
"I would never be friends with the likes of him." I point at Harry.
Harry rolls his eyes at me,
"Likes of me, huh? Who exactly are the likes of me?"
I resist the urge to throw something at his face. It's a near thing. There are
some rocks over that might work for me.
"People who stare all the time. That's rude. Why has no one been taught not to
do this? It's very important to learn." I say in irritation.
Harry giving me a mock hurt look,
"I do not stare at you all the time."
"Yeah you do." Hermione and I say at the same time.
Ha!
"Go team! Up top." I raise my hand for a high five, and wonder of all wonders,
Hermione actually slaps her hand against mine.
Ok, seriously, this must be the shock right? Because we are still in a very
dangerous situation with no chance of escape.
Apparently we don't care about that. Not if there is snark to be dealt out.
"But you said you liked my nostrils." Harry says forlornly.
"No, I said they were top notch. I said nothing about liking them. Don't
misquote me." I say narrowly, "Because I will sue."
"You told him he has top notch nostrils after having only just met him."
Hermione says, eyeing me suspiciously.
"He babbled things at me too." Harry says warmly, "It was really weird and
funny and stupid and epic."
"I hope you get eaten a swarm of pandas." I tell him very seriously.
"Yeah," Hermione says, nodding knowingly, "It's definitely a thing."
I tip my head back and groan. For fucks sake.
I'm about to retort with something scathing, like for real it would have been
the most scathingly scathing thing you'd ever seen, read or heard, but I don't
get the chance.
"DRAGON!" I hear Reglus yell from…..somewhere.
"HARRY!" I hear Sirius yell from….somewhere.
"Where are they?" Harry says, looking all around us for signs of our guardians.
"Do you mean them?" Hermione asks, pointing over my shoulder.
I turn around and instantly spot Regulus and Sirius standing just outside the
wards.
Thank Merlin!
Regulus looks almost painfully relieved to see me safe and not at all dead.
"Don't worry." He calls out to us, "We're gonna knock this bitch down and save
you!"
Regulus aims his wand at the ward and does an unspoken spell. It's a spell of
his own creation that breaks down pretty much any ward in existence. No wonder
Voldemort wanted him around with a skill like that.
"Are you alright?" Sirius shouts over to us as Regulus' spell starts to crack
through the ward.
"We're fine!" Harry shouts back.
Why are we shouting and not just going over to them? This is stupid.
I hold out my hand to Hermione,
"Come on, you'll be safe with us."
Harry offers her his other hand and says,
"We'll protect you, Hermione. I promise."
And just like the promise he made to me, I know he means it down to his bones.
Hermione only hesitates for about a second before taking our hands.
Harry and I move quickly towards Regulus, Sirius, and relative safety.
When we reach the cracked ward however, both Sirius and Regulus are staring at
the sky. Horror mirrored on their faces.
I'm confused until I turn around and see it. A jet of green light that bursts
like a firework into the sky, but then turns to smoke. That eerily green smoke,
the green of the killing curse, morphs into a symbol.
A skull with a snake coming out its mouth. The dark mark.
My lightning bolt scar burns painfully. Harry reaches up to rub at his, a
pained look on his face.
Our eyes catch once again, but instead of uncertainty or fear, all I see is
grim determination.
Harry mouths to me,
"We got this."
Do we?
I mouth back,
"We got this."
Not like there's much of a choice.
Right?
Chapter End Notes
     Special shout out to-Taylor,Civility and RonnieDeVille-MY UNICORN
     BRETHREN I SALUTE YOU! xxx
     Thank you to everyone for reading, please comment! xxx
***** Pink smarty brownies *****
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 
"People are going absolutely batshit over the attack." Sirius says, shaking his
head whilst staring down at a copy of the most recent Prophet newspaper.
It's been over a week since that night at the Qudditch world cup. Sirius and
Regulus broke through the wards set up by shithead bloody incorporated. They
wasted no time in apparating me, Harry and Hermione away from the campsite. We
landed on Colbie beach. All my family and friends were still there waiting for
us. They looked like a weird reverse version of the people who waved off the
Titanic.
I stayed on the ground, slumped on my knees, for a good few seconds just so I
could let myself breathe. Relief and belated panic went to war inside me. I
couldn't believe we'd somehow gotten out of that awful place alive. It defied
logic and reason. But then, maybe I should be used to that considering the scar
on my forehead and everything that it represents.
As soon as I stood up I was immediately attacked by Cho, who hugged me half to
death. She was quickly joined by Kasper, Terry and Webster who all jumped on
us. We ended up sprawled in a dog pile on the sand, with me at the bottom
struggling to breathe, my chest crushed under my friend's joint weight.
I shouted at them all to get the hell off of me, because they were all fat
shits and clearly needed to go on a collective diet straight away. It got a
bark of laughter out of me though, which fortunately chased away the darkness
from my mind for a while.
It was Nana Mars who yanked me out from underneath everyone and pulled me into
an even tighter and more death defying embrace. I wriggled around, attempting
to escape with my life intact. But Nana Mars is surprisingly strong for an old
lady. I blame the Netball muscles. Netball muscles are to be revered.
Nana Mars knocked me over the head several times with a pink crystal she just
'happened' to have on her for some reason. I've learnt not to ask Nana Mars
where she gets her crystals from. The last time I tried to question their
existence, Nana Mars threw blue powder in my face and said 'that is for me and
my inside man at Wooky hole to worry about, mind your own business. Now go and
get me some pebbles, I need to finish this soup'.The soup was blue. I got her
the pebbles from the beach and Nana Mars dropped them into the 'soup'. She made
me and Regulus eat it against our will by threatening to turn us in to what she
called the 'wizard cops'. She threatened us with that at least once a week.
Regulus has tried to tell her that they're called 'Aurors'. But Nana Mars
refuses to call the 'wizard cops' Aurors on the grounds that 'Aurors' is a
stupid made up word. Regulus argues that Nana Mars makes up words all the time.
Nana Mars just keeps telling him that she has old lady rights, which means she
can do whatever the fuck she wants and Regulus will just have to deal with it
or sleep in the shed. Again.
Regulus told me once that our life with Nana Mars is like living a much scarier
version of Voldemort. I argued the validity of that, since Voldemort was a very
dangerous and feared Dark Lord, and Nana Mars is an old lady who thinks that
rocks can talk telepathically. But only with people who truly 'believe'. To be
fair, that makes it very hard to disprove.
Regulus just smirked at me and said 'that may be true. But Voldemort never
convinced an entire town to create a new holiday called 'Witch week' and
proclaimed himself a 'BWQ' of Colbie'. He had a point. That was one brutal town
meeting. 'BWQ' stands for 'Badass Witch Queen' by the way.
Our town meetings always end weirdly. Hell, they start weirdly. Alright, fine,
the weirdness is pretty much a constant theme throughout. Especially since
someone made the insane mistake of giving Nana Mars a gavel to bang.
Once Kasper had managed to pry me away from Nana Mars, just as my skin had
started to turn blue from lack of oxygen, Kasper gave me another long hug on
the ground and whispered into my ear 'scare me like that again and I'll kill
you myself'. I hugged him back just a bit tighter, pressing a kiss the
underside of his ear to let him know that I understood.
Fiona and Quinton hugged me next, both of them at the same time. Fiona told me
off for almost getting my face murdered, and Quinton said that they would have
to tag me before I could leave Colbie again because I was clearly a flight
risk. That brought up an argument between Fiona and Quinton about if being a
'flight risk' is a real thing or just some bullshit used in crime TV shows.
Mai and Jian kissed me on the cheek, which is as affectionate as either of them
ever really get, even with Cho. I feel weirdly honoured every time the Chang's
bestow upon me the kind of care and love they show their own daughter. Mai
cupped my face and told me to never get into that kind of trouble again. Jian
nodded along with his wife obediently, but when she turned away, he whispered a
question about what spells I'd used to escape my not-so-inevitable fate. He
sounded proud of me. It was a nice feeling, despite everything.
Chadwick ruffled my hair and squeezed my arm. His eyes betrayed him though as
they were filled with genuine concern. Chadwick and I have a somewhat rocky
relationship due my friendship with his younger brother and cousin, and more
recently because of his 'non'-relationship with Cedric. But I know he cares
about me, and I care about him too. We're part of the same family after all,
even if it's not by blood.
Quinton's brother, Xander, and Xander's husband Zane both gave me a hug. Xander
looks a lot like his brother, his body is compact and his eyes are the same
shade of hazel. Zane is impossibly tall, with jet black curls and almost black
eyes. They're both handsome and powerful wizards. It was Xander and Zane who
helped me perfect my protonus charm. My protonus is a white fox, which I was
rather pleased with at the time.
Mr Diggory even gave me a pat on the back and a relieved smile. He told me 'We
wouldn't want to lose you, son'. That wasn't the first time he called me that.
Mr Diggory used to call me 'son' all the time when his wife was still alive.
But after she died I went back to being just Kasper's friend. It's strange to
think that maybe Mr Diggory just found it hard to love anyone other than his
sons after he lost his wife. That thought makes me want to give him more of
chance in the future, and possibly push Kasper into doing the same.
After that surprising show of wuv from Mr Diggory, I dreaded looking at Cedric.
I already knew that he was pissed off. I saw it when he left the campsite, and
I saw it when I landed back on Colbie beach that night. He was giving me this
hard stare like I'd personally wrong him in some way. It left me feeling a bit
hollow to see such a betrayed look in his eyes.
Cedric didn't hug me, or tell me that he was glad I'd gotten home safe. He did
watch me though. His fathomless grey eyes took me in from head to toe over and
over again, like he couldn't believe I was actually standing there whole and
unharmed.
Physically at least. Mentally I'm still not one hundred percent even after a
week of trying to push those horrific images of people being murdered out of my
head.
Regulus and Nana Mars keep trying to talk to me about it, but I don't really
know what there is to say. What happened, happened, and there's not much anyone
can do about it. Most of the time all I can really concentrate on is the fact
that someone, some major arsehole to be more exact, created the dark mark in
the sky, which has henceforth made everyone in the wizarding world scared
shitless.
"Who is this Rita Skeeter bint?" Terry asks, peering over Sirius' shoulder at
the newspaper article.
Sirius makes a face and says,
"That 'bint' works for the Prophet. She's a reporter and the word 'bint' is a
bit too polite a word for her."
"Isn't she the same bint who tried to write an exposé book about our family
when we were in school?" Regulus says, his nose wrinkled up in distaste.
"Yep, that'd be the bint I was referring to." Sirius says with a tired grin.
"Can we stop using the word 'bint', please?" Cho scolds them, her eyes
narrowing at the Black brothers.
"Yeah, bozos, stop using inappropriate language." Kasper says, smirking
jovially. "There are young and impressionable children around here, you know.
Think of them and their fragile minds."
Kasper is looking at me when he says that, laughter dancing in his eyes. I
shoot him a glare and poke my tongue out. I think about kicking him in the
face. But of course then I'd have to lift my leg up that high and the effort
for such a task seems momentarily daunting. I throw a dog toy at his face
instead, which automatically sets Sirius off.
Not the human, obviously, but our dog Sirius.
Siri barks like crazy and tries to jump up onto Kasper's chest. Kasper picks
Siri up and starts teasing him with the blue rubber dog toy.
It used to be a squeaky toy, but Regulus only put up with that for half an hour
before he used a butcher knife to cut out the squeaky thing and then fixed the
dog toy using silver duct tape. Of course that led to Siri accidentally eating
and swallowing the little squeaky thing. We took him to the vets and they told
us they could do surgery, but since the squeaky thingy was so small, it'd be
better if we just let Siri pass it through his system naturally with the help
of some medication.
Siri went around for the next week making a high squeaking sound every time he
barked. It was hilarious. Mostly because it drove Regulus up the wall.
Sometimes I'd wait until Regulus was in the room and then get Siri to bark on
purpose. Whenever I did that Regulus would give me the look of death and hiss
'I should have left you at an orphanage. In fact, I should take you to one
right now. See how clever you are after a month of nothing but gruel and
busting your arse in a workhouse'.
I told him that not all orphans lead the life of Oliver Twist anymore. Regulus
said that was a shame, because he'd probably get a good price for me, what with
me being blond and pretty and all that. Nana Mars came in then, having heard
God only knows how much of the conversation between me and Regulus. Actually it
was less of a conversation and more of a snarking match.
Nana Mars hit Regulus with a pointy crystal and ordered him to stop threatening
to pimp me out, because I didn't have the nerve to work the streets anyway.
That led to me arguing that I didhave the nerve to work the streets. I'd
regretted that argument as soon as I'd made it.
Kasper laughs when Siri climbs up onto his shoulder and tries to scramble up
and over his head to get to the dog toy.
At least Kasper is sitting on the sofa so it's unlikely either of them will get
hurt. I say 'unlikely' because I wouldn't put anything past Siri, who has the
uncanny ability to injure himself even when he's not doing anything excessively
dangerous.
I once saw him trip, which was actually hilarious because I didn't even know
dogs could trip like that, over a small stone on the beach and he quite
literally face planted the sand. Then Siri made a huffy sound and sneezed,
causing his tiny body to flip over, landing on his back inside a rock pool.
Siri had a spaz attack when a tiny crab tried to assault him.
Regulus told me off for letting 'his dog' get attacked by a crab. He said Siri
was traumatised and that's why Regulus had no choice but to let Siri sleep in
his bed.
Idiot.
Sirius, the human, did not find it at all amusing that we'd named our little
black pug after him. Regulus on the other hand found great joy in saying things
about Sirius and then pretending he was talking to our dog instead when Sirius
got mad.
"I still can't believe you named that ugly mutt 'Sirius'." Sirius, the human,
says, eyeing Sirius, the dog, in annoyance.
"I just missed you." Regulus says pleasantly, giving his brother a sickly sweet
smile.
"You missed being someone's pain in the arse on a daily basis, more like."
Sirius mutters crossly.
I raise a hand and say,
"Um, actually, I'm pretty sureI provided that role over the last thirteen
years. But you feel free to take him back. I won't even fight you for him."
"Traitor!" Regulus accuses, leaning over to poke me on the nose.
"And I'd do it again!" I shout triumphantly and start cackling evilly the way
Nana Mars taught me.
Nana Mars and I once watched that film 'Twilight' together. We watched it in
stony silence the whole way through, because that's what happens when you watch
a train wreck in slow motion. When it was over Nana Mars turned off the TV,
looked over at me, and said 'that was the gayest thing I've ever seen.
Officially. And I've been to gay pride in San Francisco. We should go and watch
some gay porn so that we can watch something more intellectually stimulating
and less gay than the movie we just endured'. Maybe that should have sounded
offensive, but Nana Mars said it with such genuine dismay that all I could do
was laugh.
Regulus and I have been arguing on and off for the last week about me going to
Hogwarts. Of course, after the attack, he insisted that I should stay home
again this year. I refused to even acknowledge the idea. I don't bloody care if
itself Hogwarts is attacked, I'm going to boarding school with my friends and
that's the end of it.
It was actually Sirius who managed to convince Regulus to let it go in the end.
He said I'd be safer at Hogwarts than anywhere else, and that he and Regulus
would be there this year anyway to keep an eye on him and Harry. Of course
Sirius doesn't know that I'm in just as much danger as Harry if Voldemort's
followers start something up again, and Regulus still wants to keep it that
way.
I feel weirdly guilty for lying to Harry, especially after what we went through
together, but I get why Regulus thinks we should keep my true identity a
secret. Well, my family know who I am, and that's all that matters in the end.
Even if I think it's crappy not to let Harry in on the truth too.
Webster and Chadwick went home a few days ago with a promise to 'see us soon'.
There was a certain mischievous twinkle in Webster's eyes that made me
suspicious, but maybe it was just my imagination.
Regulus and Sirius took Hermione home to her muggle parents the morning after
the attack. I was sad to see her go, but then I reminded myself that I would
see her at Hogwarts anyway soon enough. Hermione sounded glad that I would be
coming to Hogwarts this year and she promised to help me with any homework. I
said I'd hold her to that.
I decided that I wouldn't mind being in Gryffindor if any of them are like
Hermione. I wouldn't really mind being in Slytherin either, although I think
spending so much time in close proximity to Harry would be weird. I'm pretty
sure I'd end up either assassinating him out of sheer frustration, or doing
something even worse. Like….develop a crush on the bastard. Now that would be
truly terrifyingly stupid.
I'd be better off getting a crush on bloody Professor Dumbledore. I mean…I do
think beards are cool. But not in a sexy way. I really need to stop this train
of thought right now before I start imagining a bearded Dumbledore using his
beard to do a sexy dance—oh my fuck, too late! Abort! Abort! Bad brain! Stop it
right now!
Harry looks up at me from his place on the other side of the living room where
he's playing chess with Cho, his green eyes stark and piercing into my skin.
Those eyes narrow slightly, probably because of the horrified look on my face,
and he asks,
"What are you thinking about Drake?"
That earns him a collective groan from everyone in the room.
Cho says,
"Oh, Merlin, take it back! Quick!"
Kasper says,
"You never ask Dray that question. Never."
Terry says,
"Holy shit, here we go again."
I don't even have the concentration within me to glare at my mates for being
major toss pots. I'm too busy opening my mouth and answering Harry,
"I was thinking about what house I wanted to be in. At Hogwarts. Obviously. I
always thought I'd be in Ravenclaw, because I like learning and reading and all
my friends are in that house. But I've started to wonder about the other houses
too. I like Hermione a lot, and if she's in Gryffindor then Gryffindor must be
an ok house even though Terry always says that Gryffindor is only for loud
mouths who recklessly risk their lives on a whim. He said it like an insult,
but since that description fits him perfectly I don't get why. Maybe he should
have been in Gryffindor. Maybe the sorting hat makes mistakes. That worries me
because if the sorting hat makes mistakes then it, or is it a 'he', might make
a mistake with me and put me in the wrong house and if I get put in the wrong
house then I might hate it and then I could hate Hogwarts as well. I don't want
to hate Hogwarts because it took me years to convince Reg-Dad to let me go
there with my friends. Then I thought about maybe being in Slytherin because
you would be there and I wouldn't mind that, but what if spending so much time
together made us…um….sort of…stuff. And then I thought about Professor
Dumbledore and how he has a beard and how I think beards are cool, but not
sexy, which made me imagine Dumbledore doing a dirty dance with his beard, like
swinging it around and—um…my brain shut itself down after that. To protect
itself. Like in those psychological thriller films where someone gets tortured
and they go into their head to escape the pain. But this time instead of pain
it was me thinking about Dumbledore doing a lap dance with his beard."
I gasp, bend over at the waist and try to suck in as much oxygen as possible.
Shit, that was a long one.
Everyone is staring at me, which, again, rude. But the only gaze I can feel on
my face like a slap, is Harry's. I look at him and realise he's openly gaping.
Again.
After a brief silence, Regulus shakes his head and says,
"I blame myself. I really do."
Sirius nods at his brother and says,
"We blame you too."
…
"I will miss you. I will miss your face and your limbs and your tummy and your
toes and your silly brain that doesn't work properly." Nana Mars says as she
squeezes the life out of me.
We arrived at Kings Cross station a good hour before the Hogwarts express is
meant to leave. Mostly so Nana Mars would have enough time to say goodbye to me
at least a bazillion times.
This is the bazillion and one time that she's tried to suffocate me with love.
I can't remember Nana Mars being this bad since my first day of primary school.
Nana Mars made me a Thomas the tank engine bag for all the books I wanted to
take to school with me.
She also packed the bag with a box of brownies she'd made with pink food
colouring and pink smarties. It was most epically gay food I've ever eaten, and
they were delicious. It's a good thing I've never had anyone psychoanalyse me.
I'm not sure I'd like to know what they would come up with.
I manage to wrestle myself away from Nana Mars, at great personal risk to my
arm sockets. I take a few steps away from the most incredible woman I will ever
know and let myself look her over properly. She's wearing a sequined blue
dress, sparkly tights, fluffy slippers, a big blue fluffy coat that looks like
she killed and skinned Sully from Monsters Ink, and to finish it all off she's
wearing a blue hat. A fedora. With a feather. A peacock feather. Because
reasons.
Nana Mars has also got on her usual crystal jewellery. Blue crystal rings and
necklaces and earrings and a tongue piercing that I sometimes forget she has.
Never has there been a woman more epic than Nana Mars, and I will fight anyone
who says otherwise. To the death. Because that's what Nana Mars would want.
A woman who took me aside when I was five years old and trying not to cry
because I was afraid to go to school without my Nana Mars and my Regulus who I
loved with everything inside me in the all-consuming way only a five year old
boy can love. This woman pulled me away from the entrance to Colbie primary and
knelt down in front of me. She took one look at the stubborn little frown on my
face and said,
"Now, you listen to me Draco Black. There are a lot of things in this life that
will knock you down. Things, bad things and bad people, who will try to make
you feel like you don't matter, or that what you care about isn't important. We
are people. We are human. We are not naturally good or kind or strong. Those
are things we choose to be. Those are things we work hard every day of our
lives to be and become and stay that way even when it would be easier not to.
And it's always easier not to. I know you are five years old. But you are
clever, Draco. You are five years old and you are clever. And brave. And kind.
And weird. And one day I believe the world will know that you are
extraordinary. I believe this because you already extraordinary to me. It's ok
to be afraid, Draco. Everyone is afraid sometimes. It is not fear that makes us
weak. It is our reaction to our fear that makes us who we are. I've just told
you who I think you are. But don't take my word for it. Decide for yourself."
Nana Mars gripped my think shoulders in her bony, crystal ringed, fingers and
looked me dead in eye.
"Remember this, Draco, for it is the most important thing I will ever say to
you. No one can tell you who or what you are. The only person who can decide
that, is you."
I stared at her then. A five year old boy who lost his parents when he was one,
because of a man who knew nothing of love and never will. A five year old boy
who was stolen in the night by a man who felt nothing but regret. A five year
old boy who has a scar on his forehead in the shape of a lightning bolt. A five
year old boy who was afraid of going to school because he thought maybe his
Nana Mars and his Regulus would leave him there alone and never come back.
I was a five year old boy when I said to my Nana Mars,
"Promise me you'll still be here when it's time to go home."
I am a fourteen year old boy, and I say to my Nana Mars,
"You don't have to wait for me this time. I'll come find you. At home. You'll
be there when I come back?"
Nana Mars gives me a smile that is both proud and sad. She gives me the same
answer that she did when I was five.
"I promise."
I hadn't believed her back then. I knew she couldn't mean it. Nana Mars,
although she was amazing and weird and wonderful, would not wait all day
outside the school gates for me.
I was five years old, and Nana Mars proved me wrong.
Nana Mars and Regulus waited outside the primary school gates. They waited for
me inside her car. They talked and read and argued over Netflix on Nana Mars'
IPad and ate the packed lunch Nana Mars brought with her, which she wouldn't
share with Regulus because it wasn't her fault that he hadn't come prepared.
Those two insane and inexplicably extraordinary people waited for me. Because
Nana Mars promised they would.
I remembered that promise. And I will always remember what Nana Mars said to me
that day. I won't ever forget what that promise meant to me.
I reach out and take Nana Mars' hand in mine. She squeezes hard and I nod in
understanding, because this is it. This moment right here. Our lives have
changed, and even though I am glad for it, I will still miss Nana Mars and
everything that she is to me.
"Come on, we have to go Dray!" Kasper grabs hold of my hand and tugs on it.
I turn away from Nana Mars and allow myself to be pulled through the magical
barrier between platforms nine and ten.
Regulus and Sirius already left for Hogwarts last night as they needed to get
things ready for when all the students arrive today. I still can't believe
Dumbledore actually hired Regulus to be a teacher. Like in reality. A teacher.
A teacher who is supposed to teach things. To youths. Regulus despises
'youths'. He tells me so on a regular basis. He says they're all obnoxious,
annoying, whingy, smart mouthed little shits. I said if that was the case then
he should fit in just fine.
When we reach the other side of the barrier, I take a moment to marvel at the
Hogwarts express. I don't have much time for that though, as I'm already being
man handled by my friends towards an open carriage on the train.
It's both nice and weird that my friends are as excited about me going to
Hogwarts as I am. Cho has spent the last week obsessively telling me all of the
things she thinks I need to know about Hogwarts. I already re-read her copy of
Hogwarts, a history. Terry has been telling me over and over again about all
the secret passages he's found in the past three years and how he'll show me
when it's ok to break the rules and get away with it. I don't know what rules
he thinks I'll even want to break, but he seemed excited so I didn't burst his
maniac bubble. Kasper just seems content with my presence at his side. I'm
pretty sure he isn't going to let me out of his sight for the first few months
of school.
The only person who I'm worried about seeing at Hogwarts is Cedric. We still
haven't talked since the campsite attack, and I' beginning to worry that he
might actually be pissed at me for real. I still don't quite get why he's so
angry, but I suppose only time will tell on that front. I can't force Cedric
not to be pissed at me. He'll just have to come around on his own. I refuse to
even contemplate the idea that he won't forgive me at some point.
Getting all of our crap into one compartment proves to be an almost impossible
task. It wouldn't be so bad if it were just our trunks, but I also have Mr Big
and Tiny in their massive cage. We make do though, and it is kind of funny when
we end up practically led down on top of each other just so we can all fit.
I wonder for a moment where Harry has gotten off to. I saw him on the train
platform, but then he was just gone. He probably found his friends in another
compartment and went to sit with them. I know from what Harry's told that he
has two best friends in Slytherin, a boy named Maxamillion Malfoy, and girl
named Astoria Greengrass. I'm kind of interested to meet the kind of people who
Harry would befriend in a house known for its unfriendliness.
I already know about Max Malfoy, since all my friends sent me letters about him
during my first year wanting to know how we're are related. I asked Regulus and
he told he didn't know either. We asked Mr Diggory to find out for us.
It turns out that my father, Lucius, had a squib brother who was struck from
the family tree when he decided to leave the magical world and lead a muggle
existence in America instead. That brother then had a son. A son named Max.
My friends told me that Max has brown-tinged skin, probably from his Latina
mother, black hair buzzed close to his scalp, and eyes that are identical to
mine in shape and colour. They also said he has an attitude. Big time.
It'll probably be weird to be around someone I'm directly related to. But then,
it's not like he's gonna take one look at me and go 'aha! Hello my long lost
cousin that I didn't even know existed. We should probably announce that you
are my cousin so that everyone can know something I didn't even know since
we've never met before'. Yeah, somehow that's a little far-fetched even for my
overactive imagination.
When we're an hour into our train journey, Kasper turns to me and asks a
question I'm pretty sure has been playing on his mind for a while. I could see
it waiting there behind his eyes for days, but I know it's never a good idea to
push Kasper into saying something if he doesn't want to.
"So, what's the verdict on Harry Potter?"
"Verdict?" I ask, pretending to play it cool.
Kasper snorts out a laugh and says,
"Nice try, Dray. You've been going all googly eyed on him since you met."
I see Cho stop reading and put her book down. She's watching me now, and I feel
weirdly guilty in a way that makes no sense.
Terry stops listening to music on his IPod and looks at me with a smirk on his
face. I just know he's going to tease me until the end of forever no matter
what I say about Harry. He's a tosser like that when it comes to me.
"I do not have googly eyes for Harry Potter. He's weird and annoying and now
he's my friend. That's it."
Liar.
Liar.
Pants.
On.
Fire.
Shhhh, brain, now is not the time. It's never the time with you. That's because
you make me say stupid stuff. That's what I'm here for, so suck it up.
Ugh.
Terry says gleefully,
"Wow, you're, like, in love with him. Are you two going to have a whirlwind
romance this year? Will you forget all about us and run off into the sunrise
with the saviour of the wizarding world? Don't worry, Kas and I will make sure
he treats you right, we'll give him 'the talk'."
Kasper and Terry both bust a gut laughing at me.
"First off, it's sunset, you big dummy." I say, glaring at a still laughing
Terry. "Secondly, don't either of you daretry and give Harry 'the talk',
whatever the fuck that is.
"Yeah, seriously," Cho says with a sympathetic nod at me, "leave Harry alone.
You'll frighten him."
Terry makes a fist and punches his open palm,
"That's the whole point, Cho. We need to protect our weakest link from getting
eaten by a rival pack."
"I am not a bloody omega wolf, you twatwaffle!" I shout at Terry empathically.
"Twatwaffle?" Kasper says slowly, as if tasting the word on his tongue.
"That's a new one." Cho says with a sigh.
"We just don't want you to get hurt." Terry frowns seriously, which makes me
oddly nervous. Terry is very rarely serious about anything.
I roll my eyes and say firmly,
"I do not have a thing for Harry Potter. I do not need protecting from him, or
anyone else. This year will be fun and carefree and all the bad shit can fuck
off for once. Got it?" I look at each of my friends in turn.
"Whatever you want." Kasper says, giving me a light kiss on the jaw.
"Got it, weirdo." Cho says, reaching out to pinch me.
"Fine." Terry says. He crosses his arms and points at me, "But if anyone gives
you trouble then I'll kick their arse all over the courtyard."
"Me too. We will bring the pain." Kasper says, and he high fives Terry.
Cho scoffs and mutters,
"Boys."
"I know, we suck." I say wryly.
"You really do." Cho says, looking back over at Kasper, who doesn't appear to
notice. There's sadness in her eyes. It worries me.
"Things'll be good this year." I tell Cho. Her eyes snap back up to meet mine.
"You think?" She asks hopefully.
"It better be or Regulus will never stop whining about how we never should have
come to Hogwarts in the first place. Because he's a big baby."
"Oh Merlin, I cannot picture Regulus being a teacher." Cho makes an
apprehensive face.
"No one who has met Regulus would picture him as anything but an insane person
with zero filter between his mouth and brain." I say.
Cho smirks at me again,
"Hmmm, yeah, I suppose you had to get it from somewhere."
I scowl at her,
"Go to so much hell that it isn't even funny."
"Terry is always saying you and Regulus are exactly alike." Cho says teasingly.
I look at Terry, who is distracted by a game of wizard poker with Kasper, and
snap at him,
"Terry, join Cho in hell."
Without even looking up from his cards, Terry says,
"Will do."
Yeah, this is gonna be a good year.
Maybe.
Damn it.
Chapter End Notes
     Special shout out to-RonnieDeVille
     Thank you to everyone for reading!
***** The Infamous Hat Interrogation *****
Chapter Summary
     Sorting Hat vs Draco Black. Let's get ready to RUMBLE!
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
     Special shout out to-lazynerdkit,crystalheartlover,Jojo,RonnieDeVille
     and KingChanyeol-THANK YOU MY UNICORN BRETHREN! Your reviews are my
     oxygen folks, like, for reals. X
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Well, hello there.
Um, hi….sir.
Is that how you're supposed to address a sentient hat? I've never spoken to a
hat before. Apart from maybe Nana Mars' lucky hat. It's shaped like a koala.
She wears it to parties and weddings and funerals and…pretty much anywhere you
could conceivably wear a hat. Sometimes she would wear it for other things as
well, like my year six sports day. She made me kiss it before every race.
At first I outright refused to kiss the koala hat, but Nana Mars asked me to
trust her, and because Nana Mars is the best person ever, I kissed the damn
koala hat. Then I won a race for the first time in my entire life, and after
that I kissed the koala hat every single time. I won almost all the races that
year. It was a miracle. I never doubted Nana Mars again.
Oh 'sir' is it?
I don't know, is it?
You're the first child to ever call me 'sir'.
What, like,ever? What do they usually call you then?
Hogwarts students don't 'usually' call me anything except 'the sorting hat'.
Well that's rude. What is your name?
The sorting hat.
Nah, that's your title. What's your name?
My name is The Sorting Hat.
Hold on, did you just capitalise it?
Of course. It's my name.
Fair dues. Sounds a bit….uppity, but ok. Why is your name just 'The Sorting
Hat'?
I am called The Sorting Hat because I'm a hat. And I sort students into their
houses.
Right, right, thank you snarky pants. If you had pants. I don't think hats have
pants. Do hats have pants? Do pants have hats? Is the 'The' actually part of
your name or not?
I don't understand the pants questions. Why would a hat need pants?
Hats could want pants, how should I know? I don't know anything about hat
culture or whatever. Really, why does anyone need pants? That's the real
question. But I don't think we should get too philosophical about it right now.
Philosophical about pants. Right.
Yeah. There's probably some kind of study about that already out there. I'll
look it up tonight, we can talk about it later.
I don't think we should do that. Ever. And what did you mean when you asked if
the 'The' is a compulsory part of my name?
Well, my name is Draco, just Draco, and people never call me The Draco. So is
the 'The' just part of the title or is it actually part of your name?
I'm confused. You're confusing. I'm hundreds of years old and I've never been
confused before. I don't like it. I want this to be over now.
I'm sorry, I'm just kind of nervous. Please don't unleash your hat rage on me.
I'm too young to die, and I really don't want to be murdered by a hat. Wait,
hold on, does that sound a bit hatist to you? Have you met many hataphobes? Is
that why they never call you sir?
There's a very long pause, and I can feel the eyes of everyone in the great
hall burning into me. I purposefully don't look at my friends because I know
they'll probably just make me laugh. And this is serious. I'm about to be
sorted. This could affect my entire future.
Mostly because Regulus said he would disown me if I got sorted into Hufflepuff
(because Hufflepuff's are, in his words, 'just giggling bees disguised as
people'.
Terry said he would disown me if I got sorted into Gryffindor (because he
thinks all Gryffindor's are incompetent obnoxious imbeciles. His arch nemesis
is a Gryffindor named Neville Longbottom. I haven't had the chance to
officially meet Neville, but Cho pointed him out to me. He fell out of the
carriages on our way to Hogwarts and face planted a puddle. It was both sad and
outrageously amusing. Mostly because a big toad jumped out of the carriage and
landed on Neville's head, consequently pushing his face further into the dirty
puddle).
Cedric said he would disown me if I got sorted into anywhere that isn't
Hufflepuff (because he wants to keep a closer eye on me. Probably to make sure
I don't get kidnapped by a staircase, or used as a human sacrifice during a
Defense against the Dark Arts lesson by accident).
Kasper said he would disown me if I got sorted into Slytherin (because he
doesn't want to be 'in league' with a 'future supervillain'. I told Harry that
and he laughed so hard that he fell off his chair).
Cho said she would disown me if I don't get into Ravenclaw (because she's tired
of having to deal with Terry and Kasper all by herself. I understand her point,
they can be very annoying when they want to be. Which is most of the time
actually).
Nana Mars said she would never disown me no matter what house I get into.
Unless I get sorted into 'Unicornfang'. I told her there isn't a house at
Hogwarts called 'Unicornfang'. Nana Mars just smirked at me and said 'not yet'.
And because I value my life, I decided not to ask any questions about whatever
Unicornfang is, was, or ever could be. There's nothing wrong with having a
healthy sense of self-preservation.
Especially since last time I questioned Nana Mars about something her response
left me feeling so dizzy and confused that I had to lie down for the rest of
the day.
As I'm trying very hard not to look at my friends, I accidentally manage to
catch Harry's eye. He's smirking at me, looking so God damn amused that it
makes me want to smack him. In the face. With a chair.
Those vivid green eyes of his lock onto mine and hold them steady. I feel a
buzzing sensation start up in my chest. Pinpricks of awareness brush across my
skin, like nails scratching at my scar. It's somehow both painful and
pleasurable at the same time. I don't like it.
Harry just keeps on smiling at me, seemingly pleased aboutsomething. I hate
him.
I hope a flock of pandas kidnap Harry and eat him so I never have to see his
face again. Damn him and stupid captivating eyes. Damn them to….purgatory
maybe. Damning them to hell seems like a bit much. I don't want to be outright
mean.
On either side of Harry are two students I think I recognise from Harry's
description of them. Max and Astoria.
The boy, Max, looks like he's about two seconds away from beating something, or
someone, into the ground. His cheek bones are sharp and along with his buzzed
haircut and overall imposing air, he gives off a dangerous vibe. My friends
were right though, his eyes are identical to mine in both colour and shape.
Although the look in them is decidedly more closed off than I think mine have
ever been.
The girl, Astoria, sitting on the other side of Harry is beautiful in the way a
china doll is beautiful. Her features are almost scarily perfect, and her skin
is pure pale porcelain. She has cool mint green eyes that are a much lighter
shade than Harry's. Her hair is much like mine, white-blond and made almost
shimmery by candlelight.
I wonder what kind of friends they are to Harry. I also wonder what they'll
think of me and Harry becoming friends. They've clearly noticed Harry staring
at me. To be fair he's not being very subtle about it. Harry isn't very subtle
about much of anything though. I don't know how he gets along in Slytherin with
a face that reveals all of his emotions almost constantly.
Max and Astoria don't make it obvious that they've noticed Harry's
bloodystaring. In fact they both seem rather well composed.
I bet Nana Mars would destroy them with her strangeness. Sometimes half the fun
of knowing Nana Mars is watching her meet other people and seeing them react
her bizarre epicness. Usually by crying, laughing or running away. Possibly all
three at once in some cases.
The Sorting Hat (if that even is his realname) interrupts my internal moment of
madness by speaking into my head again. Because there's nothing not sane about
that, right kids? It's like we're all one confused step away from developing a
collective mental illness.
Your brain frightens me. And I'm a hat. That should tell you something. You
should go away and really think about it.
Yeah, I woulddo that. But there's kind of this whole thingwe have to do first.
What thing? I don't like the sound of that coming from you. It better not
involve koala hats.
Oh don't tell me you have a prejudice against animal hats now.
They're absurd and they besmirch the good name of hats everywhere! Animal hats
are unnatural!
You, sir, are out of line. I happen to have friends who are animal hats, and
they are good hats. I'll also have you know that two of my Nana Mars' friends
got married wearing animal hats. Legally and everything. Well, in Vegas, but it
still counts.
You're a very bizarre person. And I mean that. From the very depth of my hat-
heart.
Do hats even have hear-
Don't you dare finish that sentence! If you do then I'll….then I'll..…I will
swallow your head and suffocate you! I swear I'll do it. Do not push me Drake
Black/Draco Black/Draco Lucius Malfoy! And you have too many names!
Are you always like this?
Am I always like this? Am I? Are youalways like this?
Like what?
Like what? Like WHAT? Oh my merlin, I think I might hate you. That' sit, be
gone! Go away!
You want me to leave?
YES!
Are you sure?
YES!
Then do the sodding THING!
WHAT THING?
Oh for the love of smurfs-SORT ME! Do it now before I die of old age sitting
here. I mean Oh my God it's been like ages since I sat on this bloody
uncomfortable stool.
And it really has been. Even the professors look a bit concerned with how long
my sorting is taking. Any second now they'll expel me out of sheer boredom.
Oh….oh right….ok then…uh….do you have a preference?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to ask me that. It kind of negates the
whole point of there being a sorting with a sorting hat who is supposed to sort
people into different houses. If you're going to go around asking each person
where they want to be sorted then you might as well just do that at the start
and not have a sorting ceremony at all.
Maybe I'm just asking what house you want to be in so I can purposefully not
put you in that house.
Woah. That's cold. Why you gotta do me like that, bro?
Bro? A minute ago it was 'sir', now it's 'bro'.
You've be relegated. Deal with it.
But why 'bro'?
Regulus and I may or may not have watched American reality TV for twelve hours
straight before we left for Hogwarts.
What's a Kardashian? Is it some of Dark magical creature?
Nope. Much worse. It's a Dark muggle creature.
What's a Miley Cyrus?
One of the most evil monstrosities known to man-kind.
What's Fifty Shades of Grey?
Satan's Bible.
Then what's Twilight?
Satan's rough draft. In the end he took out the sparkles because he thought
they were too ridiculous.
What's Take That?
A boyband. Well, sort of. All the members are like a bazillion years old now so
maybe it's more of a Manband. But that sounds sorta odd.
What are boybands?
They're a disease inflicted on society as punishment for the invention of
skinny jeans.
What's the Underground?
Ok, now I know you're not reading that out of my head.
Hey, you don't know. I could be. You might be subconsciously thinking about the
Underground. I'm the mind reading hat around here, don't question my skills.
Ugh, fine. The Underground is a prison for poor people who can't afford a
helicopter or a teleportation device.
I thought it was some kind of train service.
Well if you already know that then why the crapolla are you asking me about it?
Crapolla?
Shut. Your. Raggedy. Hat. Mouth.
The muggle world sounds like a scary place.
It is. That's why no one wants to live there. Not even the muggles. It's why
they built space rockets, so they could move to the moon instead.
I hear someone cough very loudly, obviously on purpose. I look up to see
Professor McGonagall staring at me. I'm pretty sure if she was wearing a watch
she would totally be tapping it right now. Her face suggests watch tapping.
You feel tension?
YES! People are waiting for you to make up your bloody mind about where I'm
supposed to go sit.
I know, I know. But I'm just not sure.
What do you meanyou're 'not sure'?
You're just very difficult to place. You're obviously clever and inquisitive. I
can see the cunning and self-preservation in you as well. You would do anything
to help the people you care about, and even people you don't know. You were
brave enough to survive the attack at the Quidditch world cup, and heroic
enough to save a girl who needed your help. Maybe you should just pick one.
Oh great. Thanks. I'll just do your job for you. No problem.
And you should try to do it quickly. People are starting to glare.
The Useless Hat of unhelpfulness is right. Quite a few narrow eyes and turned
down mouths are being aimed my way at this point. I want to tell them it's not
my fault I'm too weird to be sorted. I blame Nana Mars and Regulus for not
raising me to be a more specific kind of person.
Ok then….um…well…I…er…choose…uh….this is actually a lot harder than I thought.
Tell me about it, dude.
Dude? Stop looking inside my head!
No, I like it. I think I'll call everyone 'dude' from now on.
Oh shitting hell, I've broken the sodding sorting hat. Dumbledore will probably
have me thrown in Azkaban. I'll have to ask Sirius for pointers on how to
survive in lock up. One of the other prisoners, who will most likely be named
Dejore Punchfist, is bound to make me his prison wife. Maybe I can trade for
protection from Dejore Punchfist using Regulus' blue opium cigarettes. I could
be Azkaban's new drug dealer. I might even build myself a drug empire for when
I get out in thirty years.
Nana Mars and Regulus would help me with that. Regulus was a Death eater, so
moral ambiguity is out of window for him anyway. Plus he has the contacts. And
Nana Mars has already been part of a drug ring before when she was in her early
twenties. She smuggled drugs over the Mexican border. I could do that. We could
do that. Like a family business kind of thing.
Who's Dejore Punchfist?
My future prison husband.
….what?
That's it! Just put me in Ravenclaw already.
Are you sure?
Not really.
Good enough for me…..-
DON'T YOU DARE-
…dude!
Burn in hat hell!...Do hats have religions-
"RAVENCLAW!"
I vaguely hear someone who sounds suspiciously like Regulus say "Finally. Thank
Christ, I thought we were all going todie of starvationbefore he was sorted"
from behind me at the head table. I make a mental note to beat Regulus into
submission with a hardback book later. Or possibly the blue wooden spoon Nana
Mars packed for me 'just in case'. In case of what, I didn't ask. Perhaps she
foresaw my need to discipline Regulus for…being himself. Trust me, it's enough
of a reason.
There's thunderous applause all over the hall, but I think most of that is just
relief. I'm the last person to be sorted because technically I'm not a first
year. It was more than a little embarrassing to stand with all the tiny first
years as they were sorted before me. Kasper and Terry kept waving manically at
me the whole time like the lunatics they so clearly are.
I can hear Kasper, Terry and Cho cheering almost hysterically, and in Terry's
case catcalling because he's an arsehole of the highest degree.
I also catch sight of Cedric whistling and clapping. Our eyes lock and for a
moment he seems to have forgotten that he's pissed with me about something.
Something. He has a knowing look on his face. Cedric mouths at me 'friend or
foe?' and nods at the hat still sitting (pouting impatiently) on my head. I
mouth back 'working progress'. Cedric laughs, his eyes shining with fond
amusement. Something light and feathery attacks my gut, forcing me to quickly
look away from Cedric. I can't afford to do something stupid like fall off the
stool and face plant the floor. Again.
At that, the Sorting hat chimes in,
I would say it's been wonderful talking to you, Draco Black, but that would be
a lie.
There are not words to describe how deeply unimpressed I am by you, sodding
talking cap. I hope they bring out the yodelling scarf next year instead.
Don't you dare talk about that blasted scarf! I won the duel which means Iget
to sort the children for the next one hundred years! That singing contest was
not rigged, I don't care what the bloody scarf says about it!
Before I can reply to that scoop of insanity, the hat is whipped off my head by
Professor McGonagall. She gives me a look that clearly states 'linger and you
shall face my wraith puny wizard boy'. It kind of reminds me of the look Nana
Mars gives Regulus when he annoys her. Maybe I could introduce Nana Mars and
Professor McGonagall at some point.
No, actually, that sounds far too frightening for everyone involved.
I get up off the stool and try to discreetly shuffle over to the Ravenclaw
table. I can feel Harry's eyes on me though, which almost causes me to trip. I
dart a glance back at him. He winks at me, the bastard. I try to flip my hair
uncaringly like people do in films, but then I realise my hair is not long
enough to pull that off, so I just end up looking like a deranged pigeon.
Cho gives me an odd look when I sit down next to her at the Ravenclaw table.
Terry grins evilly at me, and I curse him inside my head. Kasper slaps my back
affectionately, his face lit up with a big grin.
I look towards the head table and see Regulus sitting next to Sirius. The two
of them have their heads bent together. They're clearly plotting something,
looking like two naughty first years. I can only guess at what they're actually
plotting. Possibly something horrifying for our first potions lesson. If
something doesn't end up exploding during that lesson I will be genuinely
shocked.
"Glad you finally made it, Dray." Kasper says, his tone teasing, "We thought
you'd been taken hostage by the sorting hat or something."
"Yeah mate," Terry says, "if you'd been much longer we would have had to stage
some kind of rescue attempt."
"Or we would have called a mutiny on Dumbledore so we could start dinner
without you." Kasper says, giving my arm a good poke.
"I'm so glad you're here with us, Drake." Cho exclaims happily, she leans in to
give me a half cuddle.
Terry and Kasper make whooping noises and tell us to cut that girly shit out.
Cho just ignores them and hugs me a bit tighter, as if in silent thanks for my
existence.
Other Ravenclaws are looking at me with interest in their eyes. But none of
them have made a move to introduce themselves yet. Maybe they figure I've
already been claimed by Terry, Cho and Kasper. I kind of have been. But I
wouldn't mind meeting new people in any of the four houses. I know Cedric wants
to introduce me to a few people too from his house.
Professor Dumbledore claps his hands and food appears on the table. Creepy. I
poke at the creepy food. Everyone else digs in. There's enough food on these
tables to feed a big army, let alone an arguably small herd of children and
teenagers.
"Are you gonna eat something, Dray, or just sit there silently willing the food
to dance onto your plate?" Kasper asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
I poke at the creepy food again.
"Who makes all this stuff?" I ask instead of answering Kasper's question.
Cho exchanges a look with Kasper. Terry is too busy quite literally stuffing
his face to take any notice of us, which is probably a good thing considering
the direction I think this conversation will be taking.
"Dray…don't get weird." Kasper starts hesitantly.
"Don't get weird about what?" I ask suspiciously.
Kasper looks desperately at Cho, who clears her throat thoroughly before saying
calmly,
"Well, the house elves make the food." Her smile looks forced.
I shuffle back a bit from the table and glare, like with full on glaratude. I
know about the situation with the house elves, and my friends know it makes me
feel uncomfortable. I've hated it since Regulus made the mistake of explaining
it to me when I was eight.
"Oh, don't look like that, Drake." Cho says pleadingly, "House elves like
making the food."
Yeah, only because they've been conditioned into liking it. I can't proclaim to
know everything about house elves. Maybe they do genuinely like working for
wizards, maybe they don't. But either way I don't appreciate having no choice
but to be part of a corrupt system that supports any kind of slave labour.
I would never try and force someone else to think or feel the same way I do,
but I can't just suck it up and pretend either.
"I can't eat this stuff." I say, gesturing at the mounds of food on the
Ravenclaw table.
Kasper and Cho exchange another look. I ignore the slight exasperation in Cho's
voice when she says,
"Yes you can."
"Fine." I scowl at her, "I don't want to."
"But whynot?" Kasper asks, frowning. He sounds genuinely curious though rather
than annoyed, like any true Ravenclaw probably would.
I return my gaze to the creepy food and try to explain,
"Because I think it's wrong to eat food made by people who had no choice in the
matter. The system for house elves is unapologetic slavery, and I don't feel
comfortable being a part of it."
"But house elves aren't people." Kasper exclaims, as if it's that simple. Cho's
expression shows her agreement with Kasper.
I can't get too upset with my friends. They're both Purebloods, and despite
being raised partially in muggle culture, they still have some of the same
Pureblood ideologies. It's not their fault, or even their parent's. The fault
lies entirely with our magical society.
Even though things have changed a great deal even in the last one hundred
years, old fashioned Pureblood ideals still have a big impact on our society as
a whole. I can see that quite easily from just being at Hogwarts for such a
short time, as well as visiting places like Diagon Alley.
I try to make my tone as reasonable as I can when I say,
"House elves might not be considered people the same way you and I are, but
that doesn't automatically make them something less."
Terry finally decides to join in with the conversation. His mouth is still half
full of food, but I can understand him well enough.
"You sound just like Granger. I heard her spouting the same crap earlier about
house elves."
Hermione? Hell, that reminds me, I said I'd look for her after the sorting. I
lost sight of her when I was up on the stool though. I'll have to go find her
now. I want to see how she's doing after everything that happened at the
Qudditch cup.
I get up off the bench. Kasper grabs hold of my wrist and asks,
"Where are you going now?" He looks slightly concerned, like he thinks I'm
about to start a rights rally for house elves during the welcoming feast. Ha,
as if I would try that without doing lots of in depth research first.
"Don't panic. I'm not gonna do anything weird. I just need to go and talk to
Hermione over at the Gryffindor table." I pat Kasper's arm reassuringly.
Kasper still looks suspicious, but he lets me go.
I amble over to the Gryffindor table in search of Hermione. It takes a minute
or two before my eyes find her. I'm not sure why since she pretty much has her
own secluded spot at one of the tables all to herself.
I plonk down next her, much to the apparent displeasure of quite a few
Gryffindors. A lot of them give me evils, which I ignore. I'm pretty used to
people giving me odd looks, if not for my fae-ish appearance, then my
slightly….'different' personality. Not to mention my equally 'different' family
and friends.
Hermione turns to me with a startled expression on her face. She appears a lot
better than when I last saw her. The wounds on her face have faded thanks to
some intense healing magic, and she's also lost that 'trapped in a glass bowl'
look.
I raise a hand and wave it at her. Because that two foot of bench space between
us is apparently insurmountable to my very special brain.
Luckily Hermione hasn't lost her good humour because her face breaks out into a
smile. A real one even. Not an 'ok, just don't hurt me weird boy' smile.
"Hey Hermione. I'm sorry for not coming over sooner, but I was distracted by a
hat with an attitude problem."
Hermione raises a slightly confused eyebrow at me and asks,
"Why would a hat have an attitude problem?"
I shrug one shoulder,
"I think maybe he has some unresolved sexual tension issues with a yodelling
scarf."
Hermione stares at me for a full minute before replying,
"Ok, I'm not even gonnatouch that one."
I'm not really sure what she means, but I let it go. We can always discuss the
possible sexuality of sentient objects at some other point in time. Besides,
there more important things I want to ask her.
"How's your mouth feeling?" I try not to look at her mouth too critically.
There are very faint scars around Hermione's mouth where the curse first took
hold. But apart from that it looks like she fully recovered.
"Thanks to you, it's feeling good. Healed." Hermione says, and her is smile
genuine.
"You were brave that night Hermione. If you hadn't decided to take a chance on
me, then…." Well, neither of us really need to say out loud what would have
happened.
Hermione shakes her head,
"No, it was you. You used the counter curse to heal me. You saved my life. You
and Harry both did."
At the mention of Harry, my spine straightens and I'm unable to stop the
erratic beating of my heart. I try to push thoughts of him from my mind, but
it's hard to do when someone has such a strong effect on you by simply
existing.
"Have you spoken to Harry since….everything?" I ask, trying with all of my
willpower not to sound like a desperate idiot.
From the look Hermione is giving me now, I'm gonna go ahead and say I failed at
not sounding like ten year old girl with a crush. I am not a girl, nor am I ten
years old. And I definitely do not have a crush. On anyone. Ever.
I'm like a boy wizard nun or whatever.
"Not really," Hermione says, and apparently she's pretending not to notice how
pathetic I am, for which I am grateful. "I saw him on the train and he smiled
at me. Asked me if I was ok. But then his girlfriend kind of dragged him away,
so that was it."
Something tightens in my throat and I have to work very hard not to choke on
the word 'girlfriend'. But seriously, girlfriend?Girlfriend?
"Harry never told me he had one of those." I say, and then immediately regret
it.
Hermione's voice takes on a teasing edge, her smile just a bit on the evil
side.
"One of what? A smile? Well, he doesn't do it very often so I get why it would
be surprising."
I resist the childish urge to poke my tongue out at her. That would so not help
to make me look like any less of a prat right now.
"You know what I meant you evil enchantress." I narrow my eyes at Hermione in
an unspoken challenge.
Even though Hermione and I don't know each other that well, I'm already pretty
sure that she won't back down. Hermione is a stubborn person. Strong willed
too. She would need to be to survive what happened to her that night and bounce
back so quickly.
"Untangle your panties, Drake." Hermione says, "I thought you already knew
about Astrid."
I search through the tangled messes that are my memories of Harry. But I just
can't seem to remember him ever mentioning a girl named Astrid.
"Who is she?" I ask Hermione, finally giving up any pretence of disinterest.
Hermione is too smart to fall for it anyway. Plus she's a girl, all of whom
seem to have a natural affinity for knowing when someone is lying about their
feelings. I genuinely think it's some kind of evolutionary female-only skill.
Hermione discreetly gestures over at the Hufflepuff table. I follow her gaze
along to a very pretty blond haired girl. She actually looks vaguely familiar,
but I only realise why when Hermione says,
"Astrid Greengrass."
I look back at Hermione and ask,
"Is she Harry's friend Astoria's sister?"
I feel a bit nosy asking, but I know I'll drive myself crazy if I don't.
"No, she's her cousin." Hermione replies.
"I don't get why Harry wouldn't have told me about her." I say, frowning
inwardly at myself.
Hermione makes a face at me, and says,
"Wow, are you seriously asking that question? It's, like, so obvious."
"What's obvious?" I ask, confused.
Hermione narrows her eyes ever so slightly, but instead of answering my
question she just says,
"Nah, I think I'll let this thing play out. See how long it takes."
I don't like the sound of that at all.
"How long what takes?"
But Hermione just zips her fingers over her mouth.
After a minute or two of pleading for Hermione to explain, I finally give up
and ask her if she wants to come back over to the Ravenclaw table with me.
"We aren't really supposed to do that." Hermione says hesitantly.
"Do…what?" I ask, not understanding her uncertainty.
Hermione waves her arms around a bit,
"Well, you know…wander off to other tables and sit down during meals. There's
kind of a...divide."
I scoff at the ridiculousness of that.
"What is this? Nazi Germany? No, it's a school dinner hall. They're not gonna
expel us for sitting at a different table. I mean look at me," I raise my arms
and point down at myself, "I'm sitting over here on an enemy table with you and
no one's swooped in to drag me off to the Hogwarts dungeon."
"Well no," Hermione says diplomatically, "they wouldn't do that. The Slytherins
live in the dungeons."
Of course they do. As if they didn't seem like future evil supervillains
already. That house does not do its image any favours.
"Don't worry Hermione," I place a gentle hand on her shoulder, "if the
professors do try to tell us off, just say that I kidnapped you and blackmailed
you into doing it."
Hermione snorts out a laugh.
"Alright then. You've convinced me." Hermione shakes her head at my grin, "One
day and you're already leading me into a life of rule breaking."
We both get up and start over to the Ravenclaw table. I can feel a number of
eyes on us as we go.
"Ah, come on," I say jovially to Hermione, "live a little."
When we reach the Ravenclaw table, my friends are quick to make room for me and
Hermione. Kasper actually smiles at Hermione, and it's his sexy suave smile
that he usually reserves for Cho when they're together. Apparently Kasper and
Cho are officially offat the moment.
Hermione blushes in response to Kasper's smile. I don't remember him being this
way with her when we first brought her back to Colbie, but that might have been
due to the circumstances. Kasper is, and always has been, the noble sort. He
was probably very conscious of making Hermione feel uncomfortable for any
reason.
But now apparently that isn't an issue. Kasper asks Hermione how she's getting
on. Hermione spirals into something slightly giggly, which is how most girls
react to Kasper. He's handsome like his brother, clever like his father, and a
bit of a badass like his mother was. The words 'bad boy' spring to mind. Now
he's got the piercings and tattoo to go along with it. If Kasper and Cho stay
broken up, I imagine he'll be swarmed by girls for most of the year.
I leave them to it as Hermione and Kasper start in on what seems like a very in
depth discussion about a book they both read over the summer for their fourth
year Ancient runes class. They both seem rather enthusiastic about it, and
Hermione appears to have completely forgotten about not wanting to break the
rules of the dinner hall.
I catch Cho subtly watching them. She doesn't appear upset by what she sees,
maybe just curious. And possibly a bit resigned.
I'm about to ask her if she's alright when Albus Dumbledore gets ups and goes
to stand behind his podium.
"So!" Dumbledore announces whilst smiling at all of us with just a tinge of
madness. I can't decide if Nana Mars would kidnap Dumbledore to keep as her
own, or feel the need to destroy him for being on the same wavelength of
weirdness as her.
"Now that we are all fed and watered," I hear Hermione scoff, and I have to
agree with the sentiment. Dumbledore continues, "I must once more ask for your
attention, while I give out a few notices. Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked
me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this
year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-
Bashing Boomerangs. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-seven
items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr. Filch's office, if anybody would
like to check it."
I guess I should get rid of my exploding marbles then, right? How about my
Pokémon cards? They aren't technically dangerous, but still.
Dumbledore is smirking. But covertly. He goes on to say, "As ever, I would like
to remind you all that the forest on the grounds is out-of-bounds to students,
as is the village of Hogsmeade to all below third year."
Now that's one thing I'm looking forward to. Going out to Hogsmead. I'm very
interested in visiting the shrieking shack. It sounds sufficiently creepy and
weird. Those are my two hot buttons for nosiness.
"It is also my painful duty to inform you that the Inter-House Quidditch Cup
will not take place this year."
Cho and Terry both choke on oxygen.
"No. No. No!" Cho murmurs in pure horror.
"No. Fucking. Way." Terry growls, his expression the picture of dismay.
Kasper pumps a fist into the air and calls out with what sounds like a genuine
sense of victory,
"YES! So much yes! Like an ocean capacity of yesness!"
The whole hall echoes with the sound of everyone's outrage.
Dumbledore ignores the newly introduced tension and say,
"This is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing
throughout the school year, taking up much of the teachers' time and energy -
but I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in
announcing that this year at Hogwarts we are to have the honor of hosting a
very exciting event over the coming months, an event that has not been held for
over a century. It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Unity
Tournamentwill be taking place at Hogwarts this year."
Oh shit.
Before anyone can react to that announcement, the enchanted ceiling decides to
have a spaz attack. Lightning slashes violently across the ceiling. Which is
great. And not at all ominous.
I catch Harry's eye again from across the room. He has a look on his face that
screams loud and clear 'fuck, here we go again'.
I realise Regulus is watching me. He raises an eyebrow. I mouth to him 'I wanna
go home'. Regulus smirks and mouths back 'too late you little shit'.
Arsehole.
I am so calling it now; we are all doomed.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you to everyone for reading and please, PLEASE, review! xxx
***** The Most Ridiculous Duel Ever *****
Chapter Summary
     THANK YOU SO MUCH TO 'phi' AND the+yellow+pen AND RonnieDeVille AND
     Mo-YOU ARE ALL EPIC HUMANY TYPES! X
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Just when I thought things couldn't get any weirder around here, a man comes
prancing (well, ok, more like striding purposefully, but still) into the hall.
The magic ceiling of the great hall goes all spazzy again and lightning slashes
through the not-real sky. I imagine it's some kind of alter-reaction magic.
Illusions like that often experience glitches when new or powerful magic comes
into contact with them.
Anyway, back to the scary bloke who has a monocle melted into his fucking face.
Yeah, let's talk about him for a minute.
Monocle Mc Melty face hobbles through the great hall towards Dumbledore. He has
a big arse staff that he's using to help him walk (uncomfortably by the looks
of things). The staff reminds me of the one Nana Mars keeps under her bed. She
says it's a remnant from her hiking days back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
Nana Mars travelled the world, hiking through different famous trails. Or at
least she tried to. According to Nana Mars, no matter where she went she
somehow always seemed to accidentally stumble onto a Pot farm at some point.
Regulus once asked Nana Mars if she meant 'accidentally stumbled onto Pot
farms' the same way he 'accidentally became a Death Eater'. Regulus was
relegated to the shed for a whole week after that one.
I say shed, it's actually more like an old Wendy house. Regulus keeps a pillow
and some snacks (opium cigarettes) in there now just in case. That's how often
he gets sent to the shed. His record is three weeks at a time. He actually
calls it a 'record' like he's proud of the fact. Regulus is, without a doubt, a
major prat with bells on.
Monocle Mc Melty face reaches Dumbledore and the two men shake hands. They
gossip-whisper with each other for a bit and then Monocle Mc Melty face goes to
sit down. He actually looks familiar to me, but I just can't remember his name.
I'm pretty sure he worked for the Ministry at some point. Going by the scars on
his face, I'd guess Auror. Insane Auror.
Regulus has always said that Aurors are nothing but a load of nosy goodie-two-
shoes' who go around being judgemental about things they aren't clever enough
to understand. That immediately makes me wary of this new man. Then again,
Regulus is a dark pureblood wizard and a former Death Eater, so I think he's
probably a bit biased towards the wizard police.
Besides even if Monocle Mc Melty face is untrustworthy, that doesn't mean all
Aurors are. They fought as best they could at the Qudditch game when
Voldemort's followers attacked. Quite a few of them died that night. There was
a list of the dead in the newspaper the next day.
Kasper leans in to whisper,
"I reckon that's Mad-Eye Moody."
Dumbledore turns to face us again, his expression unchanged from the pleasant
docile one he'd adopted before.
"May I introduce our new Defence against the Dark Arts professor. Professor
Moody." Dumbledore says, gesturing towards Monocle Mc Melty face. As if we
wouldn't know who he was talking about. Monocle Mc Melty face is busy stabbing
innocent sausages from plates and practically swallowing them whole.
I catch sight of Regulus giving Monocle Mc Melty face a suspicious look. Sirius
tries to whisper something into his brother's ear, but Regulus bats him away
with a spoon. He hits Sirius on the nose and Sirius yelps, throwing himself
away from Regulus and cupping a hand over his nose. Regulus sits back with a
triumphant glint to his eyes. I'm not the only one who learnt a thing or two
from Nana Mars about how to deal with bothersome humans.
"He definitely has a face you'd remember." Hermione says quietly. She lifts a
hand to her mouth, her fingers brushing over the scars.
I feel something tighten in my gut. Just because Hermione seems like she's
doing ok after the incident at the Qudditch match doesn't mean she isn't still
dealing with a lot. She was tortured horribly that night and I know that's not
something you just get over. A wave of anger and hatred for the terrible people
who did that to Hermione hits me in the chest. I try to push it down. Getting
upset, even on Hermione's behalf, won't help anyone.
I turn back to Hermione, readying myself to say something that will hopefully
come out sympathetic instead of deranged. But apparently Kasper has beaten me
to it. He's touching Hermione's shoulder comfortingly and whispering something
into her ear that I can't make out. It seems to be helping Hermione though,
because her body has lost all of its tension, and she's even smiling.
I catch Cho watching Kasper and Hermione again. This time a touch of confusion
has entered her eyes. She looks to me questioningly. I shrug in response and
ask covertly,
"What's going on with you and Kas?"
Cho makes a face and mutters,
"Nothing. Apparently."
Well that's weird. Kasper and Cho may blow hot and cold with their
relationship, but it's always been good between them. When they break up its
mutual, and when they get back together it's because they both want to. Terry
has said for ages that they should just stay broken up because it drives him
crazy having to mediate between the two of them during the year at Hogwarts.
Terry was rather excited about me being here for the soul reason that I could
take on the romantic mediating duties for our group. I usually do at home,
although I don't know why since I'm the only one who hasn't ever had a
boyfriend or girlfriend before. Unless you count the time I had a three day
relationship with a boy named Evan Marks when we were seven that ended with Cho
forcing us to have a fake wedding down on the beach.
My very deep and meaningful day old marriage to Evan ended quite spectacularly
when Evan's older brother found out. He told Evan not to speak to me ever
again. He shoved me to the ground when I tried to talk to Evan the next day and
called me a 'little fag'. Kasper was there that time though and he went
ballistic on Evan's older brother. Kasper hit him so hard that he broke the
older boy's nose. Even though Evan's older brother was twice Kasper's size back
then, Kasper still managed to keep the upper hand and got a few good swipes in.
Like I've said before, Kasper is pretty laid back about most things, but when
someone threatens someone or something he cares about, Kasper changes into a
completely different person.
Terry was too far away at the time to actually get involved in the fight (or
the 'epic beatdown', as it was later dubbed). But later on when the teachers
asked what happened, Terry told them Kasper was just defending me. I have no
doubt that Terry would have kicked the crap out of the older boy right
alongside Kasper if he'd had the chance.
Evan didn't say anything at all when the teachers asked him about it, not that
I could blame him. His Dad was like his older brother, but even meaner. Nana
Mars hated Evan's Dad even before the incident with me and Evan. She put at
least five curses on him and called him a 'twatwaffle'. Regulus was pissed too
when we had to go in for a meeting with the Head teacher, Evan's Dad and Mr
Diggory to talk about inappropriate behaviour. Kasper and I sat outside the
Head's office with Evan and his brother sat opposite us. Kasper and Evan's
brother glared menacingly at each other the whole time. Evan just kept staring
at his lap. I avoided everyone's gaze by reading a book about Bees. It was one
of the most awkward moments of my young life.
The situation was made even worse when Regulus started shouting at Evan's Dad
after the man made some very nasty comments about me. Most of them based around
my as of yet undefined sexuality. But why that mattered when I was only seven I
couldn't understand. I still don't get what the big problem was. It's not like
I was actually having it off with Evan. We were SEVEN.
It shouldn't have been an issue even if we were old enough to be getting
married for real. But that isn't the kind of universe we exist in at the
moment. People will always have a fucking problem with something that is,
honestly, none of their business in the first place.
The whole crappy situation made even less sense to me when I was seven than it
does now. I thought Regulus was going to hex the shit out of Evan's Dad that
day. He was so angry on the way home. Even Mr Diggory was irate, and for once
it was on behalf of Kasper instead of because of him.
When we got home I asked Nana Mars why it mattered that Evan and I were both
boys, and she said "Some people are just scared, small minded pillocks, Dragon.
It's the price we pay for livin' in a world where free will gets abused beyond
its purpose". I figure she's right about that. For more reasons than just the
one.
Evan never did speak to me again after that. Well, except right before his
family moved away last year. I was on the beach, alone, thank Christ otherwise
my friends would have pitched a fit. I think Evan was just there to experience
it one last time. The natural magic of Colbie beach.
Our beach is actually kind of famous. It's said that if you make a wish into a
shell on Colbie beach and then throw that shell into the ocean, then the wish
will come true. But only if you stay in Colbie forever.
When Regulus heard that piece of folk legend he snickered and said it sounded
like making a deal with the devil. One wish in exchange for eternal servitude.
Nana Mars says that all Colbie wishes come true. But she also says that what
you wish for can come in a different shape or size to what you thought it
would. She's always telling me that I have to find the extraordinary in the
ordinary, because once you do that, you'll have everything you could ever need.
I thought when I saw Evan that he would just keep on walking and not
acknowledge me like always. But he surprised the shit out of me and, by the
looks of things, himself, when he actually said hello. I was too stunned to say
anything so I just nodded at him in a way that I hope didn't look too much like
nervous tick.
Evan tilted his head in acknowledgement though, and I smiled at him. We walked
around the beach together for about an hour. We probably only spoke a handful
of words to each other, but that didn't matter. What we were doing wasn't about
talking. It was just nice to feel comfortable with each other for one last
time. Evan finally turned to me, right before he was about to leave, and said
"I think we should probably get a divorce".
It was so ridiculous that I had to laugh. Evan smiled again. It was a sad
smile, but still the first smile I'd seen on his face in a long time
nonetheless. I said "Well, you did break your promises, so that's fair". Evan
actually laughed at that one, and that time his eyes weren't quite as sad. "You
mean my promise to always share my crisps with you at break time?" I gave him a
mock stern look and said "No, although yes you did break that very important
promise. But no, I mean the one where we promised to always talk to each other
if we were unhappy and never let what was making us unhappy come between us".
Evan had swallowed hard then and said "I don't think we ever actually promised
that one". It was my turn to smile sadly. "I know. But I wish we'd followed
through on it anyway" I'd said. Evan met my eyes when he said "Me too".
Then he walked away. He left Colbie beach. And the next day he moved out of
Colbie with his family. I made a wish that day on Colbie beach. I picked up a
shell and whispered a wish into it. Then I threw that shell into the sea.
I wished that Evan Marks would one day find someone worth making that promise
to.
So yeah, with the Evan thing as my only example of romantic experience, I think
it's safe to say that I shouldn't be giving anyone advice. Especially advice of
the romantic persuasion.
Even so, I start to ask Cho a more in depth question about her and Kas, because
I don't want either of my friends to be upset with the other for likely stupid
reasons. But before I can finish the question, I'm distracted by Dumbledore
making a mistake of epic proportions.
Dumbledore gestures towards the table again, but this time he's looking at
Regulus and Sirius. Dumbledore's voice rumbles out pleasantly,
"I'll take this opportunity to also introduce your new potions professors.
Professor Black and Professor Black."
The Black brothers realise they're now being stared at by everyone in the great
hall and quickly sit up straight, which has the effect of making it look like
they've been caught doing something naughty.
Sirius suddenly jumps to his feet. He gives Regulus a pointed look, clearly
wanting him to stand up as well. Regulus shakes his head stubbornly and stays
seated. Sirius gets an evil look in his eyes and instead of arguing with his
brother, he takes out his wand and fires a hex at Regulus' bottom. Regulus
yelps and hops to his feet.
I roll my eyes and sigh. This cannot end well.
I look to the other side of the great hall and find Harry staring at me again.
Seriously what is his dealalready? But when we lock eyes I see that he's having
the same thoughts as me about Regulus and Sirius. Harry mouths to me 'Who will
end up killing the other?'. I snort out a laugh and mouth back 'If we're lucky?
Both'. Harry just laughs in response.
We all watch in horrified fascination as Regulus takes out his own wand and
aims a particularly nasty stinging hex at Sirius. The older Black brother ducks
out of the way and fires a hex back at Regulus. Sirius is laughing viciously at
his little brother. Regulus on the other hand is spitting mad and looks like he
genuinely wants to destroy Sirius.
Long story short, Sirius ends up throwing himself over the head table, causing
lots of plates and food to go flying off onto the floor. Sirius lands on the
ground, rolling away to avoid a curse from Regulus.
Regulus jumps up onto the table and continues to rein hexes and curses down
upon Sirius, all the while shouting at the top of his lungs "STAY STILL SIRIUS
GOD DAMN IT SO I CAN FUCKING KILL YOU. YOU ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING!" Sirius
manages to get to his feet despite being hexed into oblivion. He's still
laughing though, which does not help at all.
Sirius finally starts firing hexes and curses at Regulus with gusto. He shouts
at Regulus "BRING IT ON REGGY! I'LL BLOODY END YOU! IN THE FACE!" They go on
duelling for what feels like AGES. Melodramatic morons.
I wish Nana Mars was here, she'd be able to sort them out. Even Sirius is
afraid of Nana Mars' wraith. As he should be. Nana Mars is to be feared and
respected at all times in all ways for all things. Truth.
"I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!" Regulus yells at Sirius after a
pretty powerful curse.
"WHAT DO I STAND FOR?" Sirius yells back.
Regulus snarls,
"EVERYTHING I HATE!"
Then they go back to trying to kill each other in the face for some reason.
"How long do you think they're gonna keep this thing up?" Kasper asks
thoughtfully.
"Are they always like this?" Hermione asks, sounding a bit worried, but also
curious.
I look at them both and say,
"They'll keep fighting until one of them gets knocked out, either by the other
idiot, or more usually, by Nana Mars hitting one of them on the head with her
special green Leopard print stool." I nod my head at Hermione, "And no, they
aren't always like this." I pause and add, "Sometimes they overreact and do
stupid stuff."
"This isn'tthem overreacting and doing stupid stuff?" Hermione asks
incredulously, her eyes widening in astonishment.
I shake my head and tell her contemplatively,
"Nah. Overreacting and doing stupid stuff would be one of them getting
themselves exiled from their family on purpose so they wouldn't have to be a
'proper' pureblood, and the other one joining Voldemort to make up for his
brother's failure to do so."
"Oh yeah," Kasper says, nodding, "I forgot about that. This isn't actually so
bad in comparison."
"Exactly." I say.
"This is so wicked." Terry says, his voice brimming with excitement, the
weirdo. "Wanna take bets on which one of them gets turned into an animal first
like last time?"
"That only happened the once," Cho says disapprovingly, "And I doubt they'd
both end up transfigured into moths again."
"I thought they were chickens, not moths." Terry says with a frown.
"No." I say, cringing slightly. "That was me and Regulus. I accidentally turned
us both into chickens a few years ago when we were practicing some new spells."
"Oh, yeah right," Terry says with a grin, "I remember now. It took us bloody
agesto catch you. Mr Diggory had to change you back in the end because Mai was
at work and Jian couldn't do the counter spell without pissing himself
laughing."
Yep, that was not my finest moment as a wizard. Or as a chicken, actually.
I keep expecting one of the other professors, or Dumbledore himself, to
intervene. But they don't do anything at all. In fact they all seem just as
perplexed and awed as the students. Except Dumbledore of course who just looks
mildly amused and unbothered by the whole thing. Professor Moody is the only
professor who seems like he wants to get involved. He doesn't though, which is
unfortunate.
It looks like it's up to me to do something. I get up from the bench. Across
from me I see that Harry has had the same idea because he's also standing. We
look at each other and Harry nods at me, a determined set to his jaw and an
exasperated scowl on his face. I nod back at him, and we both make our way over
to our duelling idiots cough guardians.
Hermione tries to stop me, but then gives that up when she sees that my friends
seem so at ease with what I'm obviously about to do. Cho, Terry and Kasper know
the drill. They've been around me and Regulus long enough to understand how
things work between us. Basically, Regulus does crazy shit that I have to save
him from, and I do weird crap that Regulus has to help me with, or defend me
from. It's a unique system, but we make it work.
Harry and I meet in the middle at the front of the room. Regulus and Sirius are
busy hexing each other and running around the head table. Luckily they're both
equally as unhealthy so neither of them can catch the other. Sirius is still
weak from Azkaban and Regulus…well Regulus played netball one time and got
booted off of a team made up of over seventies, so we can't expect much from
either of them.
The other professors are now having to duck the spells that are being thrown
over their heads. Professor McGonagall looks especially distressed by the
entire situation. She keeps bobbing her head around wildly, attempting to
reason with Sirius and/or Regulus. I want to tell her that reasoning with them
will not help, it'll just get you more involved in their madness.
Cho already tried to calm them down peacefully during their last fight and she
ended up having her skin turned blue. On purpose. Because when they're in this
mood, the Black brothers have the joint mental power of a ten year old. Not two
ten year olds. Just one ten year old. Terry thought it was hilarious. Cho very
angrily hexed the humour right out of him.
I look at Harry. He looks at me.
"Together?" Harry asks, his mouth curving up into a slight smirk. I find myself
sucking in a breath in response to the devilish intent dancing in his eyes.
God, how are they so freakin' green? It's just not natural for them to be that
unapologetically vivid. I almost want to smack him for causing me to feel so
weirdfrom just being this close to me.
"Together." I agree, swallowing back any nervous babbling that might have
otherwise spewed from my face. I smile back at him though, unable to stop
myself.
Harry raises his wand and aims it at Sirius. I raise my own wand and aim it at
Regulus. We both count to three inside our heads and then,
"Ercumantra!"
"Radvenda Zen!"
Harry's spell knocks Sirius out. My spell is a specialised body bind that
Regulus taught me himself. Unlike a normal body bind, this one also stops the
recipient from speaking. I figured that was worth adding all things considered.
…..
About half an hour later everyone, including Regulus and Sirius, are back in
their seats. Harry and I have confiscated their wands until after the welcoming
feast. We thought it best for everyone involved. I didn't trust Regulus not to
start another fight if Sirius smiled at him, or did something similarly
heinous.
All of the students applauded when me and Harry brought down the Black
brothers. It was definitely uncomfortable to be the focus of that much
attention. Harry found my discomfort amusing apparently and whispered into my
ear "Welcome to my life".
I almost shivered to death when Harry's lips brushed the shell of my ear,
obviously by accident, but that didn't make it feel any less intense to have
him so close. His breath was warm against my skin. A shiver of awareness shot
up and down my spine, making me want to lean in closer to Harry, whilst at the
same time making me think that I should shove him away.
I thought about rolling out a snippy comment, reminding him that he has a
girlfriend. Harry Potter has a girlfriend. Because of course he does. A
girlfriend with a name and a face and who probably wouldn't be ok with her
boyfriendgetting too smooshy with some random bloke he's only just met.
Mine and Harry's instant 'connection', or whatever the frak it is, doesn't mean
shit. Itcan't. I'm not prepared to deal with these stupid emotions. I don't
think I ever will be. Not with parental figures like Regulus. I'm too young and
I'm too weird and I have no idea how to handle wanting to kiss someone this
desperately.
Regulus hasn't been in a relationship in all the time I've known him. I'm not
even sure if he likes blokes or women exclusively, or maybe both. If I had to
guess I'd lean more towards both though. I think he goes outside of Colbie to
meet people, since our town is too small to have one night stands without
running into the person down at the market every other day. He never brought
any of them home though from wherever he went.
Well, actually, there was that one time. Regulus learnt the hard way not to
have hook ups with Colbie residents. One of Nana Mars' friends, Greta Teel, set
Regulus up with her grandchildren. As in plural. They were twins, Tom and Rose.
Even Nana Mars didn't know which way Regulus swung, so they just sent him off
with both of them, figuring he'd pick one at some point.
It was a little weird at first because Nana Mars and Greta got the whole
Wrinkly Storm team involved in the set up plan. Even I was roped into it. Nana
Mars gave me the very important job of luring Regulus into the big janitorial
cupboard during parents evening at my school. Tom and Rose were already
supposed to be in there. How the Wrinkly Storm got them into that storage room
I'll never know. Because I didn't ask. There are some things in life you just
don't ask about. One of those things is how a group of old ladies managed to
trap two twenty-something people in a storage room.
Anyway, I got Regulus into the cupboard by pretending it was a specialised
class room for super smart people. There are certain advantages to Regulus
being a pureblood wizard with no previous contact with the muggle world. He's
very easy to trick.
Nana Mars, the rest of the Wrinkly Storm, and I, locked Regulus in the room
with Rose and Tom. By that time my friends and their parents had been made
aware of the plan, so they all gathered outside the storage room as well.
Thankfully Nana Mars had thought to put a camera inside the storage room
beforehand so we could all smoosh together around a laptop and watch the
carnage (or imminent love triangle) unfold.
And yes, it was as creepy as it sounds.
Luckily I'd thought to take Regulus's wand so he couldn't use it to unlock the
door.
Regulus, Tom and Rose complained about their weird, interfering families/
friends/townsfolk whilst, us, their weird, interfering families/friends/
townsfolk watched them on a laptop screen. We all took bets on which one of the
twins Regulus liked best as the situation progressed.
After about an hour Regulus began trying to use a mop to open the door. How he
was planning on making that work, I have no idea. Tom and Rose started
panicking about running out of air (?). Then Tom broke the vent and tried to
heft himself into it. He had to climb shelves filled with toilet rolls to reach
the vent.
Rose had a spaz attack because of a massive spider and screamed so loud that it
caused Tom to fall off the shelves. Regulus abandoned his door-mop plan and
tried to kill the spider with the mop. But then the spider crawled onto the mop
and Regulus threw the mop away from him. He stumbled backwards and tripped over
Tom, who was still lying on the floor covered in loo rolls at the time.
You'd think that that would have been the time when we would open the storage
room door and let them out. But nope.
We wanted to see what would happen next. It was like one of those weird
survival TV shows. No one could look away from the pure ridiculousness
happening right in front of us.
By that point other parents and teachers had wandered over to see what all the
fuss was about. Nana Mars, clearly reading the room correctly, took the laptop
into the assembly hall. She hooked it up to the main screen that was being used
for a PowerPoint presentation. All the students, parents and teachers filed in
to watch the big screen.
Another hour later we were all transfixed as Tom built towers made of loo
rolls, Rose used a permanent marker to draw on the walls, and Regulus used an
old Bunsen burner and his cigarette lighter to try and melt the lock off the
storage room door.
We let them out eventually of course. But not until after we'd used the
cafeteria to make about twenty bowls of popcorn that we could eat whilst
watching. It sort of turned into a town event kind of thing. We had to discuss
the possibility of doing something like that again at the next town meeting.
When we opened the door to the storage room Reglus fell out because he'd been
leaning against it. He got up, blinked at us, and then started running. He ran
all through the school corridors shouting "FREEDOM! OH SWEET FREEDOM HOW I HAVE
MISSED YOU THUS!"
Of course after about ten minutes of that he tripped over a stray piece of
chalk and fell flat on his face.
It was quite dramatic. I thought Kasper and Terry were going to die from how
much they were laughing.
Our Head of English even took the chance to make it into a teaching moment and
said to us "And thatis why we don't run in the corridors."
Regulus did end up having it off with one of the twins. We never did find out
which one though. They both accused him of being a heartless bastard who never
called during one fateful Sunday dinner. I can't decide if one twin was just
sticking up for the other, or if Regulus had actually had a thing with both of
them.
Right, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Harry has a girlfriend. Ugh.
I didn't make any comments about Astrid in the end. Mostly because I have no
right to get pissy about it in the first place. Harry doesn't owe me a single
bloody thing. It's not like I haven't told him some stuff about me as well.
Granted, not telling someone you have a girlfriend is a bitdifferent to lying
about your entire identity.
I did move away from Harry though. He noticed me purposefully putting distance
between us and his face momentarily creased into confusion, and just a whisper
of hurt flashed in his eyes. I held firm though. Harry managed to hide the
emotions after a few painful moments and nodded at me, as if in understanding.
I did the same.
I'm not sure what either of us are supposed to be understanding though.
When Sirius woke up, I unbinded Regulus.
Regulus glared pissily and accused me of being a traitor to 'the cause'. I
asked him what 'the cause' is. Regulus had to think about that. Then he told me
'the cause' is assassinating Sirius and that it would be my job to take down
Harry as he is Sirius' right hand man. I argued that Harry is not Sirius' right
hand man, he's his Godson. Regulus reached into his pocket and pulled out a
handful of glitter. He then promptly threw the glitter in my face. I now have
glitter in my hair and it's the sticky kind so I just know that it won't all
come out for at least a week. God, I hate having sparkly hair. I asked Regulus
where he got the glitter from. (I really should have known better). Regulus
said Nana Mars gave it to him 'just in case'. I asked in case of what. Regulus
said he didn't know, but this seemed like the appropriate time to use it. I
honestly didn't know how to respond to that. Regulus said that I am his right
hand man, so I should do as I'm told. I retorted that I am not his right hand
man, I am his adopted son/brother/cousin/child he kidnapped.
Everyone watched whilst Regulus and I bickered back and forth for a while.
Eventually though I got Regulus back into his seat at the head table. Harry and
I used magic to clean up the mess our Guardians had made. Then we went to
reclaim our own seats at our respective different tables.
Dumbledore steps back up to his podium and begins talking again. Now everyone
has settled down, somehow, we can actually get on with the bloody feast.
"As I was saying," (before I was interrupted by two lunatics) "this year we
have the honour of hosting a very exciting event that has not been held for
over a century. The Unity Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this
year."
A sea of students begin chattering excitedly. Some people who know what the
Unity Tournament is, and others who are confused because they have no idea what
it is. Dumbledore goes on to explain for the sake of the later.
Personally I've read about the Unity Tournament in my studies. It was set up
about seven hundred years ago by three magical schools from across the globe.
The three original magical schools were; Hogwarts, Mahoutokoro and Durmstrang.
But about four hundred years ago three other schools were added to the mix;
Castelobruxo, Beauxbatons and Ilvermorny.
Dumbledore informs us that this year Ilvermorny and Mahoutokoro will be the two
schools joining us at Hogwarts. I immediately think of Chadwick and Webster.
"Did they know anything about this?" I ask Terry.
Terry shrugs one shoulder and says,
"I think they might have, Uncle Xander would probably be helping to organise
the whole thing."
At least now I know why Webster seemed so smug when he told me he'd see us
sooner rather than later, the great git.
For the Unity tournament three champions are selected from each school. There
would be three teams made up of one champion from each three chosen. So there
would be one Mahoutokoro student, one Ilvermorny student and one Hogwarts
student in each team. The three teams would compete against each other in three
magical and horribly dangerous tasks. The point of the tournament is to show
how well each team can work together to complete their tasks as a united force,
whilst also highlighting each individual champion's talents and skills.
The champions and teams are chosen by the Harmony goblet. All potential
champions are supposed to write their name on a piece of paper and then put it
into the goblet. When the chosen champions are revealed the goblet will sort
them into one of the three teams. Each team will represent a different thing
any society would need to achieve peace and amity for the benefit of everyone.
The goblet will burn with white fire when the potential champions are putting
their names into it. Then when the champions are being chosen the fire will
burn blue for 'Equality', green for 'Tolerance', and finally red for 'Freedom'
when the pieces of paper are being spat out.
The Unity tournament was disbanded, however, when too many people died whilst
competing in it.
That does not bode well at all. I'm starting to get why Regulus was so worried
about me coming here. Hogwarts already seems a bit too intent on killing its
students.
"Death toll?" Hermione hisses irately. She's glaring at Dumbledore like she
wants to make his head explode. "What the bloody hell does he mean 'death
toll'? They can't let students compete in a game where there is a bloody death
toll!"
Hermione breathing hard, her face flushed with indignant ager as Dumbledore
goes on to explain that the students from the other schools will be arriving in
October. Hermione is fuming.
Terry leans over to say to Hermione,
"It's actually a tournament. Not a game. But I see your point either way."
"Yeah," I say agreeably, "I'm with Hermione. Down with the death tournament!" I
raise fist and pump it into the air. "Preserve young lives! Down with the
tournament of murder!"
Hermione raises a fist too and calls out alongside me,
"Down with the death tournament! Read a book instead!"
I look at her in surprise and say,
"I like that one. READ A BOOK INSTEAD YOU ILLITERATE DEATH LOVING FOOLS!"
"YEAH! DEATH LOVING FOOLS!" Hermione echoes, pumping her fist into the air
again.
Kasper is snickering helplessly into his hand. Terry and Cho are exchanging
horrified looks. The rest of Ravenclaw turns to watch us with rapt attention.
"Oh my Merlin, they're gonna start a sodding debate club or something, aren't
they." Cho says, sounding genuinely dismayed at the thought.
Terry shakes his head and says knowingly,
"Nah, this is Drake Black we're talking about here, the child of the Marvellous
and Mad duo Nana Mars and Regulus Black. He wouldn't just founder aclub. Our
Dray would set up his own political platform and lead a proper protest. With
posters and banners and conferences, and policies that make no sense unless you
follow magical political law."
"Hells right I would!" I say vehemently. "I'll be Minister of magic by the time
I'm of age!"
"Please, please no." Cho groans, covering her face with her hands.
Of course I'm joking. I have absolutely no aspirations towards politics. If
anything, lately, I've been thinking more and more about becoming a Mediwizard.
I really liked being able to help Hermione the night of the attack, even though
it was awful. I was glad that I could save her though, and I think I'd be a
good wizard healer.
But all that's a bit of a way off anyway. There's plenty of time.
Hopefully.
"We could start our own debating society though." Hermione says to me
thoughtfully.
"I'd join." Kasper says cheerfully, "If only so I could watch people try to
argue with Dray. He's a feisty little angelbug."
I glare at him mutinously. Kasper winks at me, his piercings catching the light
and glinting dangerously. He turns his smirk on Hermione, who immediately
blushes.
"I wouldn't mind seeing you put your two sickles in too. Give the genius
Gryffindor a voice."
Oh for the love of co co pops, why?
Hermione giggles. It's dreadful.
"How about you?" Hermione asks Kasper curiously. "Anything you want to argue
about?"
Kasper raises his eyebrow comically and says,
"Hermione Granger, are you asking me to…debate with you?" Of course Kasper
makes it sound like he means something completely different. He gives Hermione
a mock scandalised look, "Now, I don't know what kind of boy you think I am. I
don't go around debating with just anyone."
"Bloody prat." Terry mutters in amusement.
Cho sniffs and rolls her eyes, but she seems more amused than annoyed too.
"He means that," I say snarkily, "Kasper has very particular taste in who he
debates with."
Kasper grins at me,
"I do." He says, "Dray won't ever debate with me. It's actually very hurtful.
But he simply refuses."
I snort, unable to help myself, but say,
"That's because I'm not the type of person Kasper wants to debatethings with."
"I bet you wouldn't mind debating something with Potter." Terry says, arching
his eyebrow suggestively in towards the Slytherin table where Harry still
resides.
Kasper, Hermione and Cho burst out laughing.
"Oh shut up." I glare at each of them in turn. "Potter already has someone to
debate with anyway."
Kasper, Cho and Terry all stop laughing and frown at me.
"He what?" Kasper asks in obvious confusion.
I look to Hermione, hoping she'll explain. Hermione grimaces, but does so.
"Harry's dating a Hufflepuff girl named Astrid."
"I thought that was just a rumour." Cho says, her eyes widening.
"Nope," Hermione replies shortly, "Harry said Astrid is his girlfriend on the
train today. And I saw them kissing at the end of last year."
Terry and Kasper exchange a look.
"How did we miss that?" Terry says, looking somewhat disappointed in himself. I
almost laugh at the thought of Terry feeling put out that he didn't hear some
gossip about a person he's not even friends with.
"Oh, I'm sorry Drake." Cho says to me, reaching out to squeeze my arm
sympathetically.
I'm not sure what to say so I start to feel really awkward.
"Want us to kick his arse for you?" Kasper asks frankly. And I know it's a
serious offer.
I shake my head, trying not to look too pathetic.
"No, Kas. Please no more revenge plots on my behalf. Not like last time." I
say, a small smile curling my lips.
Kasper, Terry and Cho laugh at that. Hermione looks confused, so I go on to
explain about the time when Mr Bob Smat, one of Colbie's resident grumpy old
men, ran over my bike with his van, almost taking me along with it. Mr Smat
yelled at me for damaging his van and called me a freak. Kasper swore
vengeance. He devised a revenge plan with the help of Nana Mars, and
predictably, chaos ensued.
We're just lucky Mr Smat didn't press charges when he woke up one morning to
find that not only had the outside of his house been toilet papered, but the
inside as well. Thankfully Nana Mars has an in with PC Blogger, our local
policeman, otherwise we would have been buggered when Mr Smat caught us
climbing out of his kitchen window at four O'clock in the morning.
Nana Mars stole one of Mr Smat's tea towels to use as part of the curse she
planned to put on him.
We all agreed to be more careful with our revenge plans from then on.
When the welcoming feast is finally over, all the students start to file out of
the great hall. I follow after my friends to go to our common room. Before I
leave the hall I make eye contact with Regulus from across the room. I take out
his wand and wave it at him. Regulus narrows his eyes at me, the grey in them
becoming storm clouds of irritation. He mouths to me, 'I curse you'. I smirk at
him and mouth back 'With what?'. I wave his wand above my head once more and
then saunter out of the great hall.
Death Tournament or no Death Tournament, I am gonna make this year at Hogwarts
mybitch.
Chapter End Notes
     A/N-I hope I explained the Unity Tournament well, if you have any
     questions then please go ahead and ask. I'll answer any and all
     questions.
     Thank you to everyone for reading! Please comment! x
***** Bitchy Scarfs And Rainbow Popcorn *****
Chapter Summary
     A/N-Prepare yourselves for a looonnnggg arse chapter folks x
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
I spent most of the morning trying to teach Hermione how to transfigure plates,
forks and spoons into food. Towards the end of breakfast she was starting to
get it. Although her fork-made-toast tasted a bit like tin foil. Still, she did
better than me when I first tried transfiguring things into food. I turned a
bowl with a bird pattern on it into a cake, but when we tried to eat the cake
it moved. I dug through the cake with my fingers and a tiny bird leapt out and
began flying around the room.
Regulus taught me how to transfigure objects into food because he thought it
might help if I was ever on the run and had nothing to eat but twigs and rocks.
I asked him why he thought I would be on the run in the first place. Regulus
made a weird face and then started flapping his hands around. That usually
means he knows something that he doesn't want to tell me. He did the same thing
as he was telling me about my parents. And Voldemort.
I'll admit it did take some of the sting out of being told how my parents died
when I had a twenty-something year old man slapping at invisible bees right in
front of my face at the same time. Nana Mars ended up having to hit him in the
face with a fluffy tennis racket. Yes, a fluffytennis racket. I know you all
want to ask, but trust me, that particular road is fraught with only confusion
and ridiculousness.
No, I won't tell you, so stop asking.
Alright, fine, but you brought this on yourselves.
Nana Mars, before the Wrinkly Storm, was a member of another sports team. She
played tennis doubles with a man named Viscount Moop, and yes I have no idea if
that's his real name or if Nana Mars just calls him that. Their tennis team was
named 'The M & Ms', for Moop and Mars, and they were the best in the over sixty
division. Viscount Moop comes round for Sunday lunchsometimes, and he always
buys me one of those special blown glass animal figurines for my Birthday and
Christmas. I have a whole shelf of them now. Viscount Moop put the shelf up for
me.
Regulus offered to help. I banned him from touching any of the tools and using
them inside my room. Regulus pouted, so Nana Mars told me I had to share. It
wasn't about sharing though. I was just afraid Regulus would accidentally kill
Viscount Moop, me, himself, and somehow destroy my room in the process. Nana
Mars would have brought him back to life just so she could kicked his arse.
I stand by my wariness to this day. Viscount Moop agreed to let Regulus help
put up my new shelf. And by 'help' I mean Regulus was told to hold a
screwdriver and stand in the corner. Of course Regulus would not accept those
given boundaries, because rebel!, and he decided to fiddle around with the
power drill. I don't even know why we have a power drill. I'm pretty sure Nana
Mars uses it to open difficult biscuit tins when she's a bit tipsy at
Christmas.
Long story short, Regulus drilled several holes through my bedroom floor, three
through my bedroom door, and a further two holes through the lamp shade next to
my bed. I still have those holes through my floor. We moved the lamp to the
living room because Nana Mars liked it better with the holes. She said it gave
the lamp character. Nana Mars always gets her furniture and stuff at car boot
sales and Charity shops. She says objects are like people in the way that they
can have stories of their own, and that you should strive to fill your home
with as many different stories as possible. Sometimes I think she took me and
Regulus in for that very same reason.
So, anyway, sorry, the fluffy tennis racket. Nana Mars thought that it hurt the
tennis balls when she hit them with the racket and she decided that the tennis
balls would work better if they felt comfortable. She made a fluffy jacket for
the tennis racket that would pad it and therefore no longer 'injure' the tennis
balls.
And now, you see, how can I be expected to behave like a normal, sane,
individual when the two people who raised me are completely off the scales
bonkers? Exactly, I can't. If I ever do commit a dangerous crime then I should
get immunity for that alone.
Nana Mars and Viscount Moop stopped playing tennis when one summer Viscount
Moop slipped on an ice cream during the game and broke his hip. He had to have
surgery and we all went to the hospital to be with him afterwards. It was sad,
but we brought him his favourite tea biscuits and gin. Nana Mars scared all the
Doctors. Regulus flirted with the nurses. I got to wear a white Doctors coat
and Viscount Moop shared his biscuits with me whilst he, Nana Mars and Regulus
got drunk on gin. Altogether it was a good day in the end.
When Nana Mars hit Regulus with the infamous fluffy tennis racket she was still
learning how hard she could hit Regulus before he actually got hurt.
Unfortunately, although not that unfortunately because I believe he deserved
it, Nana Mars miscalculated that time and Regulus' nose started bleeding.
Luckily Nana Mars had something handy in her purse. We were down on the beach
and Nana Mars was teaching me how to do a proper backhand. We'd taken a break
for some tea, and that's when Regulus decided to tell me the story about my
parents. I'm not sure whether to commend his timing on the matter or not.
Regulus took what he thought was a 'special nose tissue' from Nana Mars and put
the thing up his bleeding nostril. It was not a special nose tissue. It was a
tampon. Nana Mars told me later that she'd picked that up from a movie called
'She's the man'. After watching the movie Nana Mars made sure to always carry
tampons in her purse just in case someone happened to have a bloody nose after
a fight. I'm not sure what it says about Nana Mars that she is so often around
people who have nose bleeds due to being hit in the face.
Regulus still has no idea and accepts the tampons as 'special nose tissues'.
God only knows what would happen if Sirius found out about that. He'd probably
tease Regulus for the rest of his natural born life.
After breakfast in the great hall, we had Transfiguration, which went pretty
well I think. I sat with Cho and we completed our set tasks before everyone
else in class, much to the chagrin of quite a few of the other Ravenclaws.
Something tells me I'm not going to be very popular in my own house unless I
socialise a lot more. When we got back to the Ravenclaw common room last night
I was mostly focused on checking out the common room itself, and having fun
with my mates. I should try harder to meet other people though. Part of the
point of coming to Hogwarts was to experience new things, and new things almost
always includes new people.
On the plus side, I impressed our Transfiguration teacher, Professor McGongall
the watch tapper. Cho, Terry and Kasper warned me not to get on her bad side.
She even smiled at me a few times during class, and I took that as a personal
win.
Next we had Charms, which is taught by the Ravenclaw's head of house. That
reminds me, Dumbledore has asked Regulus to be the head of house for Slytherin.
I'll have to remember to ask Harry about that later when we have potions
together, and bloody hell potions. That is going to be a nightmare.
Charms was easy as hell. I learnt a lot of the same stuff we're being taught in
class years ago. Regulus was very insistent on my education being thorough. All
joking aside, Regulus isn't a bad teacher, and he might make a half decent
professor if he keeps his head during class. Although with Sirius around, I
doubt that will be the case.
When Charms is over Professor Flitwick asks me to stay behind. I go to stand in
front of his podium. My friends hang back, but I wave for them to go on to our
next class without me. I'm ok at finding my way around Hogwarts. Alright,
that's a lie, I get lost almost constantly, but finding the Divination tower
can't be that difficult. Terry told me to just keep going up until my head hits
roof. If I'm outside then I've gone too far. I don't know why he thinks I'd be
randomly stepping off of towers or climbing out of windows. I mean, sure, we
did a lot of climbing around when we were in primary school, but….no, actually,
his concerns are probably valid. We spent most of our lunch breaks on the roof
of Colbie primary school.
Professor Flitwick smiles down at me through his tiny spectacles. He's standing
on a mountain of books so that he can see over the top of his podium. I don't
understand why he doesn't just get a smaller podium, but who am I to question
the whimsy of short, spectacled, wizards? Live and let stand on book mountains
I say.
"You wanted to talk to me, sir?" I prompt when Professor Flitwick's staring
goes from polite to still-polite-but-verging-on-creepy.
"Mr Black, I'm dreadfully sorry for taking time away from your little friends,
it's just that we didn't get the chance to speak yesterday after the welcoming
feast." I try very hard not to snort-laugh when he calls my friends 'little'. I
never said I was a good person.
"No problem sir." I say, smiling at him reassuringly, "What was it you wanted
to talk to me about?"
Professor Flitwick leans over his podium even further, peering at me curiously.
"How are you settling in, Mr Black? Any problems? If you ever have a question
then please feel free to ask me. I'm here to help you after all."
What I'm wanting to ask him at the moment is if he knows any charms for dealing
with nuisance talking hats. But I can't do that. Can I? No. I can't. But could
I….
"Actually, sir, I was wondering about something." I say.
"Oh yes, of course, please ask away." Professor Flitwick replies
enthusiastically.
I clear my throat and go for it,
"What do you know about a talking scarf, sir?"
I asked my friends about it, but they said they'd never heard of a talking
scarf at Hogwarts before. I know one must exist because the sorting hat got so
upset about it. Since then I've resolved to figure out the mystery of the
relationship between the sorting hat and the possible talking scarf.
Professor Flitwick just stares at me, slightly slacked jawed, for a while. I
begin to wonder if he's alright. Then I think he'll just tell me there's no
such thing as a talking scarf and send me on my way. But Professor Flitwick
surprises me, which takes a lot considering who and what I grew up with, by
jumping down off his podium and hustling over to a very large wardrobe.
I follow after him, curious despite myself. Professor Flitwick takes out a key
from his inside chest pocket and unlocks the warbrobe. I'm getting very Narnia
feels about this situation. My thoughts are confirmed when Professor Flitwick
smiles back at me over his shoulder and gestures for me to climb into the
seemingly empty wardrobe after him.
"I want to show you something special, Mr Black. There's no need to fear,
you'll be perfectly safe." Professor Flitwick says, and he even sounds excited.
I have a mini argument with myself. Should I really trust a stranger, even if
he is a professor, and just follow him into a random wardrobe? I think about
what Regulus would say, and then I completely discard that thought. If I start
making decisions in my life based on what Regulus would say then I might as
well give up the idea of ever having a sanely functioning life right now.
Nana Mars would do it. She'd follow Flitwick into the wardrobe. Nana Mars would
always seek out adventure. Now, I don't consider myself a Gryffindor minded
person, but how can I turn down the opportunity of possibly discovering Narnia.
Besides I'm confident in my ability to defend myself for the most part.
I take a deep breath, nod at Flitwick, and follow after him. Flitwick tells me
to close the doors behind us and after a moment's hesitation I do so. Of course
the wardrobe is actually even bigger on the inside than it looks on the
outside. I can't wait to tell Nana Mars I've been inside a Tardis wardrobe.
There's even a hallway in here. It's narrow, but I'm small enough to fit
through it.
I can't see where we're going so I take out my wand and cast a 'Lumos' spell.
The tip of my wand glows with a pure white light. Professor Flitwick chuckles
and says without turning back,
"Good idea Mr Black, I should have said it'd be dark. I suppose I'm just so
used to walking through here alone."
"Where exactly are we going, sir?" I ask, unable to hold onto my nosiness any
more.
Please say Narnia. Please say Narnia. Please say Narnia.
Professor Flitwick chuckles again and says,
"I thought you might like to meet some of the other animated objects. You and
the sorting hat seemed quite taken with one another yesterday."
Oh, so not Narnia then. How genuinely disappointing. It's not that I expect all
magic wardrobes to have Narnia inside, but it would just be nice if one of
themdid.
Wait a minute, did he say other animated objects? As in more than one? That
thought stuns me into silence for a while.
Eventually though we come to another door, this one is decorated with silver
ivory patterns pleated into wood so dark that it almost looks black.
Professor Flitwick takes out another key, this time from his buckled shoe. I'm
wondering why he doesn't just keep all of his keys on a key chain. Regulus says
people only have separate keys when they're trying to hide something. Nana Mars
hides the key to her electric blue Lamborghini in her pants drawer. But she
hides it there so Regulus won't ever borrow her car again. The one time she
allowed him to drive it, he drove the car into the front of our only local
café.
Regulus is lucky he had Nana Mars' protection because the town's people wanted
his head. There was a whole town meeting about it that weekend. I say
'meeting', the Colbie residents actually called it a 'trial'. Believe it or not
people have literally been exiled from Colbie before. Viscount Moop's nephew
was exiled sixteen years ago. His name is Danny, but people around town,
including Viscount Moop and Danny's mother, call him 'The Banished Son'.
I've asked on numerous occasions what he did to get banished, but Nana Mars
always just says 'We do not speak of it'. I think maybe it was Danny who spray
painted 'COLBIE SUKS' onto our big 'Welcome to Colbie' sign. I only know about
that because at our primary school there is a blown up picture of it hung up on
a wall with the words 'Colbie does not accept violent crimes' printed above the
picture in rainbow font.
In the end, Regulus was let off with community service, and by that I mean he
had to help Nana Mars set up an alternative café in her front garden. We put up
a big pavilion tent and brought out numerous tables and chairs. You'd think
people would just stay home instead of coming to a makeshift café created by
the local witch, but no one could ever accuse the residents of Colbie of being
sane or logical. They swarmed the café. I even had to skip some school to keep
up with the demand for tea and bourbons. We all blamed Regulus of course and he
slept in the shed again.
Professor Flitwick unlocks the ivory door and pushes it open. I lower my wand
and blink rapidly as light floods in through the door way. I dazedly follow
after professor Flitwick as he leads me into a very large and heavily decorated
room. I look around in amazement at the comfortable grandeur of the room. Each
corner of the room is decorated with different house colours.
There are chairs and sofas of all sizes and shapes. The floor is a patchwork of
carpets ranging from dark and fluffy, to flowery and rough. Decorating the
walls are mirrors with wonderfully detailed frames and about a hundred lanterns
and lamps, including a few lava lamps. It's completely mad, like something from
Alice in Wonderland.
As I take a look around, Professor Flitwick ambles over to the Ravenclaw corner
of the room. He takes out a blue china tea set and puts it down on a darker
wooden blue table. He takes out his wand and makes some tea in the big
cornflower blue tea pot.
Professor Flitwick waves me over and I reluctantly stop poking at things to go
and have some tea. I sit down opposite professor Flitwick in a comfy sea foam
blue sofa seat that is shaped like a folded star. Professor Flitwick is sitting
in an enormous chair shaped like a whale. He looks very small sat in that
chair, and I have to hold in another bout of laughter.
"This is incredible, sir." I say, really meaning it too.
Professor Flitwick pours me a cup of tea and gets up to retrieve a plate of
blue wafers on a glass plate. He sets the wafers down on the table and beams at
me.
"I'm glad you like it, Mr Black. This is a very special place for me. I like to
come in here and think when there's something particularly vexing on my mind.
Although it can be distracting from time to time." There's a special glint in
his eye that I'm not sure how to interpret when he says that last part.
"I can imagine, sir." I say, darting another awe-filled glance around the room.
"It seems like a good place to read though."
"You like to read." Professor Flitwick says, and it's a statement, not a
question. Anyone admitted into Ravenclaw would have to at the very least enjoy
reading.
"I love to read." I say honestly.
"What kind of books do you like?" Professor Flitwick asks me, his eyes alight
with interest.
"It won't sound very good, but I like anything and everything, sir." I say,
smiling openly at my professor. "Books have always been more like friends to
me. I'm not sure if that makes sense-"
"Oh, yes!" Professor Flitwick interjects happily, "I do know what you mean Mr
Black. Books can be our saviours, our teachers, and our most trusted
confidants."
I take a sip of blue mint tea and say,
"Most of my family also use them as weapons, sir. But I don't think that counts
in the same way."
Professor Flitwick laughs raucously at that, but it's definitely not him who
says,
"Oh, look, it sounds like a pretty little thing. And it makes friends with
books. A true Ravenclaw if ever there was one."
I suck in a dramatic breathe and look wildly around for whoever spoke.
Professor Flitwick sighs dispassionately. He gets up and I watch in amazement
as he reveals a hidden top hat from behind some stacked chairs. The front of
the top hat is creased to make a face, just like the sorting hat. Unlike the
sorting hat however, this hat's voice is high and lilted, quite different from
the sorting hat's gritty drawl.
"Oohh, look at its face. You'd think a dolphin with four legs just galloped
into the room." The talking top hat says delightedly.
I lift a hand slowly and wave at the hat. Because apparently I'm crap at life
these days.
"Don't you bully that poor boy. You'll run it off just like the last one." A
different voice that is neither the top hat nor Professor Flitwick scolds
warningly.
My eyes widen even further when Professor Flitwick reveals a long sparkly scarf
with a clearly animated face right above its tassels hidden underneath a
blanket on the opposite sofa.
Professor Flitwick brings both the top hat and the scarf over and sits down
across from me again.
"I'm not bullying it, you imbecilic creature, I was making an observation." The
top hat snaps at the scarf.
The scarf sniffs, I didn't even know scarfs could sniff, and argues,
"To make it feel uncomfortable. You're always like that. Leave the human alone.
It's probably got a hard enough life as it is. I mean, just look at the state
of it."
Well…huh? Did I just get defended and insulted at the same time? By a scarf?
"I told you it sounded like it had weird eyes and I was right." The top hat
says, giving me a pointed look.
Alright, that's it.
"Oi, my eyes are perfectly normal-ish. I have owl eyes. Like an owl. My eyes
are very normal and owly, thank you very much, sirs."
"Ohhh, it has a temper." The top hat simpers.
"Looks like one of those anime elf thingies." The scarf says decisively.
"You two behave for our guest." Professor Flitwick scolds the top hat and
scarf. "Mr Black is a student at this school, remember."
"Well we didn't think he was a new teacher." The top hat huffs indignantly.
"Of course he's a student, you can practically smell the teenage pheromones
coming off of that thing." The scarf says.
I scoot away from them and say,
"You leave my bloody pheromones alone. I don't need no man. I am a wizard nun."
And why could my brain have not deleted that thought from yesterday?
"It's a very odd little creature, isn't it?" The top hat notes.
"Very, very odd." The scarf agrees.
This is already turning into such a strange day. Nana Mars would love it. My
friends would as well. Cho would already be firing off questions. Cho and
Hermione would probably end up duelling each other over which one of them gets
to interrogate Professor Flitwick about this room. Terry would be thinking of
all the jokes he could pull with an animated top hat and scarf, let alone a
secret wardrobe room. Kasper would be more content to figure things out for
himself and then at a later date ask more informed questions. Cedric would say
we were all bonkers, but I know he'd be dead curious as well. I wonder what
Harry would think. He seems the semi-sane sort, very much unlike me and my
family.
Actually speaking of my friends…
"Sir, thank you so much for showing me this. It's all really amazing. Mostly."
I shoot a glare at the top hat and scarf, "But I don't want to be too late for
my next class. If Reg-my Dad found out I'd skipped classes on my first day then
he'd be pissed—um angry I mean."
Professor Flitwick waves a dismissive hand and continues to grin at me.
"No, no, Mr Black. The whole wardrobe is on a time stop. Time moves differently
in here. We could potentially stay in this room for days and no more than a few
minutes would have passed outside."
Oh, well, that's alright then.
It's not that I think Regulus would actually be pissed about me bunking,
especially not when he found out the reason why. He'd probably congratulate me
for finding a secret Tardis wardrobe without even really trying. So no, he
wouldn't be pissed. But still, I don't really want to miss any of my classes. I
waited ages to get here, and I don't want to muck it up, not on my first day at
least. The only class I would consider bunking is Potions, for obvious reasons.
Regulus actually would be hurt if I did that though. He seems very proud of his
new job, so far be it from me to rain on his disastrous and potentially lethal
parade.
I push all those thoughts aside and focus on the situation at hand. I have one
clear question in mind and I'm not leaving this place without an answer.
"So," I say, addressing the animated clothing set before me, "which one of you
has a thing for the sorting hat?"
…
I spent an hour so longer in the secret wardrobe room with Professor Flitwick
and gang, before hurrying off to my next class in the North tower.
I try to find my way up there, but unfortunately the staircases have changed at
least a dozen times and I now have no idea where I'm going. I really should
have asked my friends to wait for me. Now I'm going to be late for class
without any additional help from Professor Flitwick.
I'm just about ready to start panicking when I turn a corner, and because I'm
too deep inside my own head, I don't realise there's someone else coming the
other way. I practically head butt whoever it is and we both fall over in a
heap on the floor.
I blink a stupidly for a few moments before realising I've all but attacked a
random girl.
"I'm so sorry," I start to say. Then I recognise who it is and abruptly I shut
the hell up.
Astrid. The Astrid. Harry Potter's girlfriend, Astrid.
"Don't worry about it. I should have been paying more attention to where I was
going." Astrid says kindly. She smiles gently at me which causes her already
pretty face to become even prettier. Damn, she's being nice to me. I did not
count on that.
For some reason I've been imagining Astrid as this really horrible and bitchy
person. I think maybe I was projecting, because if Astrid was a nasty little
witch, then I wouldn't have to feel so bad about fancying her boyfriend. I know
it's not a logical thing, but it made me feel better. Now that small comfort
has been smashed to smithereens.
Astrid has a very genuine smile.
I hate her just a teensy tiny bit. I know, I'm a terrible person, just stone me
to death right here.
Astrid is looking at me, and at this point she's tilting her head and peering
at me like she's worried I've hit my head. Maybe I did hit my head, because in
this moment I decide to react to this situation by making the worst mistake
possible. I open my mouth, and let words fall out.
"Hi there, miss. I'm really sorry for bumping into you, that was completely my
fault. I'm just really stressed out because I'm trying to find my Divination
classroom, you know, up there somewhere." I point upwards at NOTHING. "The
highest room of the tallest tower. No, wait, is that Rapunzel? Or Sleeping
Beauty? Actually, hold on, I think that might be Shrek. Sorry, I get my
animated films mixed up sometimes. I thought I knew where it was because my
friend Terry told me to just keep moving up until I hit roof, but there's,
like, too much 'up' you know? I don't want to go to the wrong up. I might
stumble into a classroom full of Seventh years and they would stare at me for
being young and short and weird. Or I could accidentally witness some kind
crime and then I'd have to report the crime and be a witness to the crime when
it went to trial. I don't think I'd make a very good witness, my observation
skills aren't that great. I might end up implicating the wrong person. I don't
want to be the reason an innocent thingy gets sent to wizard prison and meets
his future prison husband, Demacho Skintooth, or her future prison wife,
Bulletina Hagdeath, because, like, I don't wanna to be sexist. Women can commit
crimes too, and I know that. My Nana Mars has committed crimes, but I don't
think she's ever had a prison wife before. She's had a non-prison wife, but I
think she just did that to help a friend get her green card, so maybe that
doesn't count as much. So, anyway, I'm really sorry again, please don't report
me for child endangerment or something. Although I don't know if child abuse
can really be committed by another child. Not that we're children really, but
we are in the eyes of the law. And the law is pretty serious shit. I wouldn't
ever want to break the law except that one time when I was seven and I wanted
some hubba bubba and Reg-my Dad wouldn't get me any, so I opened up a pack and
stole one from the shop. I felt so bad about that for months. Eventually I went
back to the shop and told them what I'd done. Marsha Petal, the shop owner, let
me work it off by packing things onto some shelves for a few hours. I got paid
in marshmallows. It was surprisingly fun actually. Marsha lets me work there
over the summer holidays for some extra cash, which is really cool of her, you
know."
Bloody mothercracker that was a long one! Good thing I'm already on the floor
because I seriously need to lie down.
Astrid is still staring at me, but now her expression has shifted into
something thoughtful. I don't know what she has to be thoughtful about. Unless
she's thinking, 'Ohmygod, get me away from this insane creature before it kills
me, or worse, starts talking again'.
But after only a few laboured breathes from me and some highly intense staring
from her, Astrid suddenly beams at me, her smile becoming nothing short of
radiant. I can definitely see, even as a gay boy, what attracts Harry to
Astrid.
"Holy frick!" Astrid exclaims excitedly, "Harry was not kidding at all. You're
incredible."
Oh God, what does that even mean?
"Harry…he…uh….told you…about me?" I say, stuttering over my words like a moron,
barely able to get my words out, and where the hell was thatwhen I needed it
thirty seconds ago.
"Of course he did." Astrid says, as if it's just so bloody obvious. Which, to
be fair, it probably is. Harry met a weird stranger who he escaped a Death
eater attack with. That's definitely something you would tell your boyfriend/
girlfriend about.
"You're…Astrid right?" I say, trying to pretend like I don't know exactly who
she is and who she is to Harry.
"Right." Astrid says. She stands up and offers her hand to me for help. I take
it even though I really don't want to.
When we're both standing upright, Astrid says,
"I'm actually off to Divination now. I think we're in the same class. We can
walk together."
I can't decide whether to thank God, or threaten him with bloody vengeance for
doing this to me.
"That would be great, thanks." I say, because I'm not completely socially
inept.
Astrid smiles even wider and starts walking. I force myself to catch up and
keep stride with her. I'm just praying that she won't want to talk; especially
about Harry.
"Harry says you're a really talented wizard. Is it true that you saved Hermione
Granger's life the night of the Quidditch cup attack?"
Damn it.
I want to ask her why she's asking me if Harry's already told her everything,
but that would just be pure bitchiness, and I don't ever want to be like that.
"Hermione was really brave that night. She survived something insanely awful
and took it in stride. That takes a hell of a lot of strength. Harry was brave
too, he kept me and Hermione calm the whole time. Without him I think we both
would have lost it."
"But you healed her. You knew the right spell and how to use it." Astrid
prompts, awe in her voice.
It makes me feel uncomfortable to talk about this with Astrid, and I have no
idea why. Other people have asked me about that night and I've been fine
telling them what happened. Maybe I'm just looking for any reason to dislike
Astrid, which is unfair to her. I keep telling myself to meet new people, and
it makes sense to get along with Harry's girlfriend. That's what friends do,
they behave civilly towards their friend's significant other. I think.
That definitely sounds like something Cho would tell me people do. Nana Mars
would probably concoct a plan to destroy Astrid for me. Regulus would make a
really bad joke at the worst possible moment and ruin my life. I'm not as young
as I used to be, I don't bounce back from embarrassment as quickly.
I turn a careful smile on Astrid, resolving to try my best to get on with her,
if only for the sake of my new friendship with Harry.
"I've read a lot of books about Medi-magic. I'd never actually preformed the
spell before. I didn't think I would ever have to." Despite wanting to sound
light and breezy about it, my explanation comes out darker than I intended.
Astrid seems to realise this, and her expression becomes grave.
"I'm glad Harry had someone to watch his back. He tends to find himself in the
thick of it more often than not."
From what my friends have told me, that sounds like a pretty accurate
statement. I do wonder though how much of the trouble Harry gets into is
because he went looking for it, or because trouble found him instead.
"Harry's had a difficult life. But he doesn't think of it that way. To him, the
fight is all he's ever known." I say grimly. I don't know that for sure of
course. I only know what I've seen and heard. But Harry carries himself like a
person who's just waiting for the next time life tries to break him. Regulus
looks the same way sometimes. By comparison I've been very lucky.
I realise that Astrid is peering at me again. She looks both curious and a bit
surprised.
"You're right." Astrid says, "Most people don't know Harry well enough to
understand him like that though."
And the uncomfortableness is back. Great.
"What about yuu then?" I say, hoping a change of topic will help. "Your cousin
is Harry's friend right?"
Astrid raises an eyebrow at me. She's not stupid, she knows I'm changing the
topic of conversation on purpose to avoid responding to what she said. But
apparently the girl Gods are smiling down on me today because Astrid lets it
go.
"Yeah, Astoria and Daphne are my cousins. They're kind of more like sisters
though. I've lived with them since I was a baby. My parents died during the
war."
Well shit.
"My mum died during the war too." I say. I want to tell her that my Dad died
too, but I can't because of Regulus and all the lies we're telling.
There's a long pause full of silence between us, and then…
"It's kind of shit isn't it?" Astrid says, a sad smile on her face.
I mirror her sad smile and reply,
"Very kind of shit, yeah."
After that Astrid and I walk together without talking, but it's not awkward
anymore. In fact it feels damn companionable. I'm glad of that at least.
When we finally reach the tower where our class is being held, a powerful whiff
of perfume attacks my nose. It reminds me a bit of when Nana Mars went through
an incense faze. She still has candles all over the house. Regulus always says
that if anyone wants to set our home on fire then all they'd need to do is
light all the candles at the same time. The probability of at least one of them
setting something on fire is more than great.
Our Divination classroom looks exactly like my Nana Mars' house. There are
loads of animal printed shawls, Aztec rugs, oddly shaped lamps, dream catchers
of all colours and sizes, and of course about a billion crystals. I get such a
sense of Déjà vu that I don't even realise what I'm hearing doesn't fit here
when I hear a very familiar voice say,
"Drake Black, you little imp, get your arse in here. Your father and I did not
raise you to be late for class, and we definitely didn't raise you to stand
around slacked jawed looking like a disgruntled teapot."
What? No, I mean, WHAT?
I whip around to look in the direction the voice came from, and against every
odd that has ever been odded, my eyes come to rest on the impossible.
"Nana Mars." I whisper with a guttered breathe.
"That's Professor Nana Mars to you, moonbeam."
Nana Mars smirks at me, looking very, very pleased with herself. I really have
to give her this one. How the hell she's managed to pull off whatever this is,
I'll probably never know. Her pure epicness cannot be denied.
I search the room for my friends. They're all sitting together at a table on
the far side of the room. When I look at them meaningfully, they all do some
variation of shrugging. They look just as dazed and confused as I feel. So none
of them knew about this either. I bet Regulus did though. I am gonna kick his
arse for not telling me.
I blink a few times, half thinking that I must be imagining this. Maybe it's
just the incense fumes playing tricks. But no, Nana Mars is actually here. At
Hogwarts. And apparently our Divination professor. Because my life just wasn't
fucking strange enough.
Nana Mars is wearing one of her usual outfits. Pokka-dot tights. Rainbow skirt.
Lime green poncho that reveals full sleeve tattoos. Bunny slippers. Ear to nose
ring. Tiara. Sorted.
"Let your arse make friends with a seat, moonbeam." Nana Mars orders me. She
directs a look at Astrid. "You too Blonde spice." Then Nana Mars turns to
address a whole class full of unsuspecting youths. "Tag line for today's lesson
'Should crystals ever be used as weapons? Discuss'."
This feels eerily similar to the time Nana Mars agreed to give a sex education
class at my last school. I really hope this lesson doesn't end the same way
that one did. I don't think Professor Dumbledore will be as lenient about paint
and water balloon condoms as my old Headmaster was.
Astrid squeezes my arm and asks,
"Is this your Nan?"
I look her in the eye when I say,
"Thisis my Nana Mars. Prepare yourself. None of our lives will ever be the same
again after today."
If I actually survive both this class and Potions later on of course.
…
And, the dreaded moment is finally upon us.
Its Potions class time bitches.
I'm sitting with my friends, Harry and Harry's friends. How we all managed to
fit around one desk I genuinely don't know, but here we are.
We're only five minutes into the lesson and Sirius is at the back dancing
around a giant cauldron, throwing in what looks like sequins, and humming
Michael Jackson's song 'Bad'. And Regulus is leant over my desk, face inches
from mine, our noses almost touching, as we stare each other down.
"Give me my wand back."
"No."
"Give me my wand back please."
"Double no."
"Give me my wand back you evil little cretin."
"Triple no times infinity."
"I gave birth to you, you ungrateful swine. Give me my wand back."
"That is both factually incorrect, and also, no."
"I've worked night and day all these years to keep a roof over our heads. Give
me my wand back."
"We live in Nana Mars' house. You make illegal potions on weekends and sell
them to foreign magical governments. And, oh yeah, no."
"I should have just put you in a basket and let you drift off at sea wrapped in
your magical rainbow coat. Like Noah. Give me my wand back."
"Noah had a zoo boat, stupid. Moses was the one who got sent off in a basket.
On a river. And Joseph was the one with the gay coat. Furthermore, no."
"What's happening now?" I vaguely hear Harry ask my friends.
"Weird stuff. It'll pass. Just let it be." Kasper replies, utterly nonplussed.
"What's a zoo boat?" Astoria asks, her voice low and droll.
"A zoo, but on a boat." Terry says, with just a hint of 'I'm so much smarter
than you its unreal'.
"Why would you have a zoo on a boat though?" Astoria says, and even I can feel
the glare attached.
"It was God's birthday present." Max says mockingly.
"Drake, just give him his wand back so we can get on with the…..lesson." Cho
says. She sounds unsure about calling whatever this is a 'lesson' rather than a
lethal event we all have to pray we'll actually survive.
Regulus smirks triumphantly at me and I have the sudden urge to get his wand
out and snap it. But that would be morally wrong and blah blah blah.
I roll my eyes at Regulus and take his wand out of my robes. I go to hand it
over to him, but when he tries to swipe it, I snatch it back and say warningly,
"No more fighting with your brother or I'll tell on you to my new Divination
professor."
Regulus sniffs at me petulantly and mutters,
"Grass."
"Reg-Dad!" I scold.
"Oh blinking hells bells, fine. No more fighting." Regulus throws his arms up
in exasperation. I let him take his wand, even though I do hear his murmured
'unless Sirius starts it'.
I slump on my stool and sigh as Regulus stomps off back to the front of the
classroom. He starts helping Sirius throw sparkly stuff into the massive pink
cauldron. Where did they even get a pink cauldron? If I find out Nana Mars has
some kind of weird cauldron supplier then I will just be done. Seriously, just
done.
Harry pokes my arm. I can feel him looking at me. That same frission on
awareness dances a peculiar beat inside my chest. Even just the touch of his
finger is too much contact. Harry's intense green eyes are fastened on my face,
and I want to yell at him to stop it,whatever he's doing, tojust stop it, but
in reality I know he's not doing anything. Not really. This is my issue and I
can't force it onto him.
I turn my head to look at Harry. I tell myself to avoid looking him in the eye,
but his gaze is lying in wait and it captures mine before I can control my
instinctual reaction. For fuck sake, his eyes are a damn oceanof green. This
whole thing is starting to feel decidedly unfair.
"How terribly do you think this is going to end?" Harry asks after a seemingly
endless moment of us just staring openly at each other like a couple of
weirdoes on a night bus.
I take a moment to consider my answer. How badly can one Potions lesson with
Sirius and Regulus as professors?
"I think there is a distinct possibility that we will not survive this day."
Harry laughs, but he nods in agreement.
"We probably should have come up with some kind of contingency plan for if
Regulus and Sirius destroyed Hogwarts. We'd have to go on the run."
I snort and wave a dismissive hand,
"I think you meanthey would have to go on the run. I'm staying right bloody
here thank you very much. Let the two idiots fend for themselves."
"Harsh." Harry says, "I'd rather go on the run with Sirius than go back to—"
Harry cuts himself off and looks down at the desk. I'd have to be blind not to
realise what he's talking about. The people he was with before Sirius must have
been awful to put such a look of despair on Harry's face. A tiny part of me
hates them, whoever they are.
"Forget that." I say, forcing cheerfulness as to make Harry feel more
comfortable. "You can come live with me in Colbie. Nana Mars would take you
in." And she really would. Nana Mars is sucker for strays.
"Would the good people of Colbie accept me?" Harry asks, apparently warming up
to the idea.
"Course." I say with a shrug. "They love to gossip. You'd be giving them
something to talk about for months."
"Good to know." Harry says warmly, his eyes boring into me again, and this time
I duck my head from embarrassment.
"So how was Divination with Nana Mars?" Harry asks with a teasing smile. He
looks more relaxed now that the topic of his old guardians has been set aside.
I flip a hand from side to side and say,
"We each got given a crystal and had to name it. They are our crystal friends
now."
"Crystal friends?" Harry says, his lips pressed tightly together to conceal
laughter. His eyes spark with amusement.
I allow a half smile of my own to creep onto my face.
"Yeah, we had to get into pairs and role play solving an argument using our
crystal friends for guidance."
"What did you and your partner argue about? And how did you use your crystal
buddy to solve it?" Harry asks, seeming fully invested in my answer for some
reason.
"We fought about whether pop music is inherently evil or if boybands just
ruined it." I say, and then I add more sedately, "Astrid and I did battle with
our crystal friends."
Harry's entire being freezes. His expression closes off and instantly goes from
friendly and interested to aloof and bored. I've never seen him look at me like
that. I take back what I said before, Harry's poker face is epic when he
chooses to use it.
"You met Astrid." Harry says, a simple statement that so obviously means
something far more.
"Yeah. She helped me find the Divination classroom. I like her, she's nice." I
say, trying to sound nonchalant and not like I give a shit that Astrid is his
girlfriend and that he purposefully didn't tell me about her. Because now I'm
almost certain he left the information of her existence out on purpose. What I
don't understand is why. It just doesn't make any sense. Astrid is beautiful
and seems like a genuinely great person. What reason could he have to hide
their relationship from me?
Harry swallows hard enough for me to notice the nervous gesture. It still
doesn't show on his face though, which is pretty impressive.
Luckily my friends and Harry's are all too busy bickering about zoo boats and
other such nonsense to notice what's happening between me and Harry.
Harry's eyes lock onto mine once more.
"Look, Drake, I-"
Before Harry can say another word, he is interrupted by the two wizard stooges
up at the front who are masquerading as professors.
"CHILDREN!" Sirius announces. He's standing in front of the giant cauldron with
his arms spread wide like he's a bloody magician. "Today we are going to be
making a potion that my brother and I personally invented when we were around
your age." Oh Christ it already sounds awful.
Regulus has climbed up onto a large step ladder so that he can loom over the
cauldron. He's stirring the potion with a giant spoon. Every time the spoon
moves the potion inside the cauldron sparks. I am getting so many bad feels
about this moment.
Every single student in here is spellbound by the ridiculousness, including
myself, Harry and our friends. Although I think Harry and I are paying extra
attention because we want to be ready just in case we need to evacuate the
castle more than anything else.
Sirius gestures towards the giant pink cauldron and Regulus begins speaking,
"Yes, youths of tomorrow, today we will be making…." And in unison Regulus and
Sirius both announce "RAINBOW POPCORN!"
We are all going to die.
The pink cauldron elicits a loud gurgling sound. A sound of impending doom.
"This one is about ready to blow!" Sirius tells us excitedly. Oh bloody hell.
Regulus lets go of the giant and spoon and goes to get down off of the ladder.
But before he can make another move, the potion inside the pink cauldron…well
it explodes. I think we all knew that was coming.
Have you ever seen one of those home popcorn making machines? Yeah, well,
imagine that, but without the lid on.
Popcorn of all different colours explodes out of the pink cauldron, rising up
into the air and spraying out over the entire room in a massive wave. Rainbow
popcorn rains down on us.
Some people start screaming. Others try to catch the popcorn in their mouths.
Regulus is on the floor with a ladder on top of him, and cackling his evil
supervillain laugh. Sirius is firing spells at the cauldron to stop it from
exploding with so much rainbow popcorn.
I sigh heavily, pick up a piece of popcorn that has landed on my desk, and eat
it.
Maybe this year at Hogwarts won't be so quiet after all.
Chapter End Notes
     Special shout out to-Mo,Athina Huayanay
     Velasco,Ozmarie,cyrus010,sweetproserpina and RonnieDeVille-THANK YOU
     MY UNICORN BRETHREN!
     A/N-So, yeah, Nana Mars is in DA HOUSE! Hilarity and insanity is sure
     to ensue. Can't wait to start the tournament! x Please PLEASE please
     let me know what you thought about this chapter, even if it's just a
     little note. I wuv all reviews long and short x
***** Meet The Debate Club *****
Chapter Summary
     DEBATE TEAM ASSEMBLE!
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"He's teaching them the Unforgivable curses." I say solemnly.
Regulus' nostrils flare in what could be anger or just irritation. His grey
eyes are cold though. Cold and wary. That doesn't give me good feels about the
current topic of our conversation.
"I want you to stay away from Moody." Regulus orders, giving me one of his rare
piercing stares.
It isn't very often that Regulus sounds so serious about, well, anything. But
when he is serious I can always tell, and I know he means it. Despite acting
like a complete man-child most of the time, Regulus is my mentor and my
Guardian. His priority has always been to keep me safe. I'm not selfish enough
to discard that care just because it's frustrating.
I do, however, retain my right to snark all over the place whenever I feel it
is needed. Or, in all honesty, even when it isn't needed and I just feel like
being a prick for the bloody sake of it.
"Yeah, I kind of got that when you tricked Dumbledore into taking me out
Defense against the Dark Arts and letting you teach me instead." I say
pointedly. "How the hell you managed that one, I don't even want to know.
Weirdo."
Same way I don't want to know how Nana Mars managed to obtain a teaching
position at Hogwarts despite the fact that she is one, not qualified in any way
to be a teacher, and two, not even a witch. Technically. I'm not getting into
another argument with Nana Mars about muggle magic and the psychic powers of
'volcano tears', which is what Nana Mars calls crystals sometimes.
Of course, I was actually wrong about the first thing. Apparently, Nana Mars
does have a teaching degree. She showed me her certificate and everything. I'm
a bit sceptical about it though. I'm not sure if I believe that Nana Mars did
actually get a teaching degree when she was in Bangkok for reasons unknown. The
reasons aren't really 'unknown' to be absolutely fair, but when I asked Nana
Mars why she got the teaching degree in the first place, Nana Mars replied 'I
was kicked off of the Ninja 101 course and I needed somewhere to hide from the
monks'. That was officially enough information for me at that point.
I half suspect, or actually this was Kasper's theory, that Nana Mars is
secretly an ex-intelligence agent and that her life in Colbie is just a cover.
In that case Nana Mars must have hacked into the system and created a fake
teaching degree. Although if that were the case then I don't understand why
Nana Mars would choose Bangkok as her designated area of higher education. But
then again, maybe it makes perfect sense if you understand Nana Mars and all
the extraordinary insanity that exists within her.
Regulus points a warning finger at me from across his desk. It astounds me even
now that Regulus actually has a desk. Like, who the fuck thought that was a
good idea? What the hell does he need a desk for? It certainly isn't for
marking potions essay's because he and Sirius haven't set any since the
beginning of term. Apparently they prefer practical work with potions rather
than long, tedious, essays. Terry said it's probably because they just don't
want to have to mark boring as fuck scrolls of homework. Hermione is livid
about this, as is Cho. I thought they both might faint when I told them that
even if they did set essays, Regulus and Sirius would probably just skim them
and give a random grade anyway.
Even though I didn't ask, or have any desire to know, Regulus told me that a
man's relationship with his desk is sacred and is not to be questioned,
especially by snot nosed good for nothing teenagers like me.
When I came in here today for our DADA lesson, Regulus had his feet up on the
desk and was pinging elastic bands into a makeshift 'net', otherwise known as
the waste paper bin. We spent the first half an hour of our 'lesson' screwing
paper into balls and using the elastic bands to catapult the paper balls into
the 'net'. Regulus got frustrated when I kept winning so he decided we had
better start doing some actual work. And by 'work' I mean firing dark curses at
each other for a solid three hours.
Regulus taps his wand on the marred wood of his desk impatiently and glares at
me.
"I mean it, you little shit. Moody is dangerous. I love you and if you
purposefully put yourself in harms way and die for any reason whatsoever, up to
and including saving the universe from killer alien bees, then I will
befurious. Nana Mars will be furious. Your friends and their parents will be
furious. Hell, the entire residency of Colbie will be furious. There is to be
no dying from you, am I making myself clear?"
I plaster a smile onto my face that feels more like a grimace. I'm not exactly
one for teenage rebellion. That's more Kasper's area. Honestly I've never had
much to rebel against. Regulus and Nana Mars have always been pretty laid back
about most things. Apart from keeping me away from the wizarding world, I was
allowed to do whatever I wanted to do. Of course, I am a rather boring
individual, so maybe that counts for something. A natural risk taker, I am not
and have never been. Any crazy situations I find myself in are purely
coincidental or caused by one of Kasper or Terry's 'plans'.
"For once in your ridiculous life, yes, I understand what you're telling me. No
associating with my professor under any circumstances because my fake father
doesn't like him. Makes perfect sense." I say, not quite able to keep the
sarcasm out of my tone. That might be because I'm nottrying to keep the sarcasm
out of my tone. Because, hello, teenager over here.
Regulus pouts annoyingly, but says with surprising coolness, with a smigen of
awkwardness added in for good measure,
"I want you to be more careful with Potter as well."
I narrow my eyes at him, not quite wanting to understand what he means by that.
"Careful how?" I ask shiftily.
Regulus' brows furrow and he leans over the desk even more, his eyes meeting
mine as he replies,
"I know you like him Draco. I'm not blind. But getting involved with Harry
Potter, even just as friends, could have disastrous consequences."
I fight my body's natural instinct to blush up a storm and cross my arms over
my chest. I'm feeling stupidly defensive for reasons I don't want to analyse
too closely.
"Harry is a mate, but I barely know him." I say with reluctant ease. Mostly
because it's true. "I'm not gonna go off and spill all of our secrets to Harry
just because I feel….attracted….to him, or….fuck…whatever."
"I'm sorry, I know this is hard. Lying all the time." Regulus says, his
expression creasing into something between sympathetic and relieved. "But there
are things going on at the moment that mean the secrecy of your identity is
even more important than it was before."
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
I grit my teeth, fighting back the anger that wants to burst free and attack
Regulus with questions I know full well he will not answer. Instead of wasting
both of our time with an interrogation that will lead nowhere, I say drolly,
"Maybe I should just put a plastic bag over my head that reads 'Do not come
near me. I am a super special snow flake. Beware of my perfection puny
mortals.'."
Regulus just raises a sardonic eyebrow and says,
"As long as it doesn't read 'My name is Draco Black, and I am the other boy who
lived. Ha, ha I'm alive, come and get me Death eaters', then go for it. The bag
might be an improvement on your face actually."
I flip Regulus the bird.
"Right, just because I haven't become a bloody Hogwarts sex icon likesomeone I
could poke with a very short and, hopefully, pointy stick."
No joke, for some strange, and clearly insane, reason, Sirius and Regulus have
become the fantasy crush for quite a large proportion of the school, both
female and male respectively. Personally, I don't see it. Regulus is an idiot.
Cho pointed out that since I'm related to both Sirius and Regulus, it makes
sense that I wouldn't find them attractive.
I argue that I know perfectly well that they're attractive, I'm not blind. What
I don't understand is why anyone would fantasise about a man who randomly barks
when he daydreams (Sirius), or a man who has taken to wearing dark blue nail
polish as a forfeit after losing a game of noughts and crosses with a first
year (Regulus).
Going out with either Regulus or Sirius would be like having a darkside Winnie
the Pooh character as your boyfriend. I pity the fool who actually enters
willingly into that trap. Hopefully Regulus will decide to join me as a wizard
nun and I won't ever have to deal with my mad father/cousin/brother/monumental
pain in my arse falling in love with anyone. I can only imagine such a
manifestation would become horrifying for everyone involved. But mostly for me,
because I would have to deal with the inevitable fall out.
A heartbroken Regulus isn't something I ever want to witness. And I don't mean
that in a loving way. What I mean is that Regulus is an ugly crier. Like, for
real, his cry face is ugly to the point that it literally frightens young
children and small animals. Hell, it frightens me. And Nana Mars. Although Nana
Mars' fear usually transforms into anger very quickly, which often leads to
acts of violence.
When Nana Mars saw Regulus cry for the first time, I was around five or six,
and Regulus woke me up in the middle of the night. He'd had a terrible
nightmare, most likely about Voldemort, and he woke up screaming. It wasn't the
first nightmare he'd had since arriving in Colbie, and that one certainly
wouldn't be the last either.
I remember feeling a mixture of curious and terrified as I crawled out from
underneath Regulus' bed. I liked to sneak into his room and sleep there
sometimes. I did the same with Nana Mars too, although she always caught me and
insisted I just sleep with her in her big round bed. And yes, Nana Mars has a
ginormous round bed. She says she found it at a yard sale and that the little
girl who sold it to her told Nana Mars that before the bed had either been used
in a high end hotel, or it had been used for porn. The little girl didn't know
which.
Why a little girl was selling potential porn furniture I don't quite
understand, and neither do I ever wantto understand.
So yeah, anyway, back to Regulus' extremely ugly cry face. I climbed up onto
Regulus' bed. He shrieked when he saw me and fell out of bed and onto the
hardwood floor with far too much flailing if you ask me. I mean, I was a small
elfin child, not a machete toting axe murderer. I don't know why an axe
murderer would need a machete, or why a murderer who has a machete would use an
axe, but there you go. I didn't make the rules, I just occasionally follow or
ignore them.
Regulus screaming like a banshee caused me to scream at the top of my lungs as
well. But when Regulus hit the floor and shouted 'fuck, my femur' I began
laughing instead. I was rolling around on the bed, laughing my little blond
head off, whilst Regulus rolled around on the floor in agony shouting about how
he was going to pack me up in a box and ship me off to China at the earliest
opportunity. It's possibly one of my favourite childhood memories.
Both Regulus and I screamed again when Nana Mars kicked open the door and came
bursting into the room carrying a pink bat with nails sticking out of it. She
was wearing a cooking pot on her head as a makeshift helmet and she had on her
favourite Mickey mouse nightgown and the dinosaur slippers I picked out for her
the previous Christmas. When she unwrapped that present she kissed my nose and
told me they were the best shoes she'd ever been given. Nana Mars wore those
dino shoes everywhere for a whole year afterwards.
Nana Mars waved the bat around threateningly and shouted,
"WHO DARES TO DISTURB MY SLUMBER?!"
Regulus looked at me over the top of the mattress and I stared back at him. In
unison we both pointed at each other and unapologetically dobbed the other.
"He did it!"
It never pays to play fair with a ex-Death eater and former Slytherin, so I
added in my best timid baby voice,
"Regulus said he would send me to China."
Nana Mars shot Regulus the look of death, which always premediates him getting
told off for being mean to me. Or it did when I was little. Nana Mars trusts me
to hold my own against Regulus for the most part these days.
Regulus glared at me and hissed,
"You tiny, evil, fluffy Judas!"
I poked my tongue out at him.
Regulus tried desperately to stand up, his hands grabbing uselessly at the
duvet. He slipped halfway and landed back on his arse. Hard. He stayed down
after that. Eventually I peaked over the side of the bed, only to find Regulus
curled up on the floor, unshed tears in his eyes. I was immediately worried and
looked automatically over to Nana Mars for help.
Nana Mars rounded the bed, still swaying her pink nail bat casually, and stared
down at Regulus for a long moment. It was clear to me that Regulus wasn't just
pretending. Sometimes bad memories would hit him hard and he'd struggle to see
past them. When that happened Regulus would usually curl up somewhere quiet and
try to work through it. I'm not sure if they're actual panic attacks, or just
something completely different that Regulus had to deal with. He never liked to
talk about those horrible times.
I reached out to touch him, wanting to offer comfort to a man who, despite
everything, I love very much. Nana Mars stopped me though.
"Don't touch him, Moonbug."
I pulled back reluctantly. I looked up at Nana Mars, hoping for guidance. As
usual, Nana Mars did not disappoint.
"Alright," she said, "I'll go make some hot white chocolate coco, you grab the
CB."
I nodded eagerly and jumped off the bed to do as I was told. Nana Mars went
down stairs to make the coco. It's Regulus' favourite. Mine too actually. Nana
Mars has a special cupboard dedicated to all different types of hot chocolate.
Cho likes mint, Terry likes chocolate orange, and Kasper likes dark chocolate.
Whenever any of us are feeling down, Nana Mars will make us our favourite hot
chocolate.
A few minutes later I went back into Regulus' room after retrieving the CB,
which stands for the Comforting Broom, from the hallway cupboard. I got up onto
the bed and proceeded to use the broom for its primary purpose. I stroked
Regulus' back with the brush end of the broom. Comfortingly.
Nana Mars came up with the idea years before she even met us. Apparently she
did the same thing for her father when she was a little girl when he had
nightmares about the war. Not our war obviously, but a muggle war. He was a
soldier, Nana Mars told me, in the SAS. Nana Mars rarely talks about her
family, the family she had before us. I think maybe she had children once, but
she's never told me directly.
Just like with Regulus, I try not to push. If Regulus or Nana Mars want me to
know anything about their pasts, they always tell me. I don't see the point in
digging for information when I already know everything I need to. And what I
know is that Nana Mars and Regulus raised me, however unorthodox a way that may
have been conducted, and I know they love me. They'd do anything for me. I love
them, and I'd do anything for them too. I think everything else other than
those four important facts are just details.
Whilst I stroked Regulus' back with the CB, I also started to sing. Regulus
hates it when I sing. It annoys the crap out of him. With Regulus, sometimes
pissing him off works better than being nice. I think that's what growing up a
Dark pureblood with crazy parents does to a person.
After a few minutes of rhythmic broom stroking (DON'T EVEN GO THERE YOU DIRTY
MINDED PEASANTS!) and the soft, slightly off key, singing of Abba's 'Dancing
Queen', Regulus finally stopped shaking and uncurled from his foetal position.
"Alright!" Regulus yelled, "That's enough. Your slow torture has worked, you
can stop now."
He turned over and glared at me, eyes red and puffy. He looked awful. I told
him so. Regulus snatched the CB and used it to poke me in the stomach.
Nana Mars came into the room just in time to witness me and Regulus engaged in
a tug of war with the CB.
"Give me the broom you little fluffy brat!" Regulus gave a vicious tug on the
CB.
I tugged back, wrapping my legs and arms around the CB as to claim victory.
"You let go, I had it first!"
"I'm the adult here, Draco, give me the broom or I'll…..I'll…er…..um.…do we
have a naughty step?"
We did have a naughty step at one point during my early childhood, back when
Regulus was watching Supernanny reality TV shows all the time. But I started
using it as a place to read quietly, and ended up renaming it my 'special quiet
step' instead, so Regulus scraped the idea. He tried time outs next. Regulus
wasn't allowed to talk to me when I was on a time out. Why anyone thought that
was a punishment for me, I really don't know.
"Boys!" Nana Mars shouted scoldingly at us mid-tug, "Stop manhandling the CB!
It isn't a toy, the CB is an instrument of care, and I will not have either of
you besmirch its natural healing powers with your volatile antics."
Regulus and I both pointed at each other and shouted,
"He poked me!"
"Hesang at me!"
Nana Mars put down the tray of white hot chocolate and took the CB away from
us. She pierced Regulus with one of her magma stares and ordered,
"Reggy, put some pants on and drink your hot chocolate like a big boy." She
turned that hard stare to me, although it softened somewhat. "Dragon, love,
stop singing pop songs at distressed people. They don't like it. Remember I
told you that last week at the hospital. Mr Smat did not appreciate your
rendition of 'Livin' La Vida Loca'"
Mr Smat also did not appreciate me dancing around his hospital bed wearing a
cape made from one of his own blankets. But all the nurses thought it was cute
so I got away with it. You can get away with a lot when you're small and cute.
Do not underestimate the almighty power of cuteness.
Regulus did as he was told and put some pants on. At the same time Nana Mars
sat down on the bed and tried to teach me how to whistle as a replacement for
singing. Regulus ended up hating my whistling even more than my singing.
That night all three of us sat on Regulus' bed drinking white chocolate coco
whilst Nana Mars told us the story of how she got her pink nail bat. I promise
to tell that story to all of you someday. When I think you can properly handle
the pure epic madness of it.
Regulus brings me back into the present by throwing a wadded up piece of
parchment at my head. It hits me on the nose. I feel violated.
"Earth to elf child."
I scowl at him. How dare he interrupt my inner story monologue.
"What now?"
I pick up the piece of parchment and mentally enchant it to repeatedly hit
Regulus in the face. My silent spell work is getting pretty good.
Regulus flaps his hands around in what can only be described as an exasperated
rainbow motion. He growls at me,
"I was saying, you tiny toss pot, that we should go through the Unforgivables
one last time before our session is over."
Huh?
"The last thing I remember us talking about was you being a Hogwarts sex icon."
I say in confusion.
Regulus stares at me incredulously. The wadded up ball of parchment is still
valiantly trying to attack his nose. I press my lips together to hide a smirk.
I can't decide who looks more pissy, Regulus, or the ball of parchment.
"Howis that the last thing you remember? That was ten minutesago. We've had an
entire conversation about blood curses since then."
We did? Holy shit, I must have been checked out something fierce.
"Well clearly you weren't saying anything important." I say with a sniff, "It's
not my fault you're such a boring Defense teacher."
"I am not boring!" Regulus screeches at me. "You take that back or I'll sell
you on the black market to the Merfolk!"
I slap my hands over my hears dramatically,
"Well at least we know they'd understandyou."
My enchanted wadded up piece of parchment gets Regulus in the eye and he lets
out an almighty yell. He falls out of his chair, hands covering his injured eye
protectively, and lands on the floor with a heavy thump. I almost fall out my
own chair from laughing so hard.
Regulus' arm shoots upwards suddenly, wand aimed at the wadded piece of
parchment. He shouts ridiculously, because come on, it's Regulus,
"DIE FOUL BEAST!" And then, "Prenago!"
The attack parchment explodes into fiery confetti that rains down upon us all
in defeat.
Regulus’ head reappears from over the top of his desk. He glares at me. I smile
back unrepentantly.
Regulus snaps at me,
"Didn't your Guardian ever teach you never to the attack your superiors?"
"I don't know, did you?" I say, still smirking.
"Orphan." Regulus hisses at me.
"Death Eater." I hiss back.
"You're a horrible little person." Regulus accuses half-heartedly whilst
getting up and sitting back on his chair again.
I snort at him.
"Yeah, and you're a big idiot. But you don't see me smacking the air and
falling off of chairs about it."
Regulus waves a hand dismissively,
"Whatev's, youth. I don't need no noise from you, bruv."
Oh my cheesecake, why?
"That's it, you're officially banned from listening to R&B music from this
moment forward."
"It ain't no thang."
"I should have listened to Terry. His Dad went through a rap phase."
"Word to your mother."
"He wore a cap sideways." The cap was from Disneyland.
"Fo'shizzle."
"And rapped nursey rhymes."
"Imma be like, for shiz, bust a move."
"He tried to learn how to beatbox with a soup bowl."
"Holla at ya hommie."
"Stop saying things you lunatic!"
How does my life keep getting to this point? I mean seriously though. I'm
starting to think I might be bringing it all on myself somehow. Either that or
I managed to piss off a very vengeful God in a previous life.
Regulus climbs over the top of his desk. Why he couldn't just stand up and walk
around it like a normal human I don't even want to think about. Whatever
Regulus' logic is behind this decision, no one needs to know it. Least of all
me.
"I wanted to test my desk for weight endurance. And I wanted to see how slippy
it is." Regulus' answers my unasked question, therefore supplying me with
knowledge I neither wanted nor needed.
"How were you ever a Death Eater?" I say, shaking my head at him in disbelief.
Regulus flicks my fringe with his wand and shrugs one shoulder,
"Voldemort thought my natural charm was boyishly delightful."
"The fact that an insanely evil Dark Lord thought you were charming is not a
compliment." I say narrowly, "And I very much doubt Voldemort ever used the
word 'delightful'."
Regulus huffs at me,
"Fine, I may be paraphrasing a little bit."
"I'm shocked." I say sarcastically.
"Right, that's enough of your cheek." Regulus pokes my cheek with one of his
purple nail covered fingers. Regulus has also recently decided to start spiking
his black hair with that muggle gooey gel stuff. He looks, predictably,
ridiculous. Or at least I think so.
Apparently a great majority of the female population of this school disagree
with me however. I heard one girl, I think her name is Katie Bell, from
Gryffindor, say that Regulus looks like a rock star. All the girls around her
at the time agreed enthusiastically. Their fluttering eye lashes and giggles
sickened me. I'd never been so grateful to be gay. Straight men can keep their
clearly delusional women. I'll stick with my loneliness thank you very much. It
has to be better than dealing that kind of nonsense.
When I complained about Regulus' 'fit teacher' status to my friends, Terry just
snorted and said,
"You should have seen it in second year when Gilderoy Lockhart was here. Girls
are mental mate, simple as. Wish I was gay."
Cho rolled her eyes at Terry and Kasper said,
"I don't. Girls are amazing." He was grinning at Hermione from across the
library at the time.
Cho rolled her eyes even harder.
Regulus' expression is disturbingly serious when he says,
"I want to run through the Unforgivable curses with you again today before you
hop off to go stare lovingly at Potter from a distance."
I do not do that!
Very much.
His eyes are just sogreen. It should be illegal for a person to have eyes that
intense and vivid.
"Ok, hit me." I say, and then quickly add, because this is Regulus I'm dealing
with here, "Not literally, you insane hedgehog."
Regulus scoffs and acts like he wasn't just about to hit me by quickly
pretending to scratch his nose. With a fist.
Before, whenever Regulus and I have talked about or practised the
Unforgivables, we've used a transfigured bird. I always hated it because even
though the bird wasn't technically a bird, it still looked and behaved like
one. It still felt alive. I think if something is alive enough to feel pain,
then it's definitely alive enough to deserve a chance to live.
Regulus transfigures his tea cup into a little blue bird and I instantly hate
myself just a little for what we're about to do. God knows how I'd be in a real
fight with a proper enemy or opponent. I don't like to think about a time when
I might have to use the curses and duelling strategies Regulus has been
teaching me for years.
"How would you describe the Imperious curse?" Regulus asks me.
I give the same answer I always do,
"The Imperious curse gives you temporary control over a person's mind."
I shudder just thinking about it.
"Great." Regulus says plainly. "Are you alright for me to use it on you today?
I want to see if you can still throw it off even though we haven't practised in
a while."
My body tenses, but I know that's just an instinctual response.
"Yeah, ok. I'm ready." I say to Regulus.
I can feel the transfigured bird watching me and I try to ignore it's far too
intelligent stare. Regulus gives me a searching look, attempting to see if I
mean it when I say I'm ok for him to do this. He must find something in my eyes
that reassures him because he raises his wand and point it direct at me.
"Imperio."
A blanket of calm invades my mind and covers me from head to toe. I feel
completely relaxed until I hear a voice inside my head.
Sit on the desk.
I feel myself stand and move closer to the desk and—no! I won't. I don't want
to sit on the desk. The desk looks uncomfortable.
Sit on the desk!
There's a bit more force behind that command, and I my resolve sways, but I
manage to hold firm. No. No. No. No. I chant inside my head. I won't. I won't.
I won't.
Sit on the desk now!
I throw that one off very quickly this time.
Quite suddenly the blanket of calm is gone and I'm left standing between my
chair and Regulus' desk. Regulus is looking at me, bittersweet pride on his
face.
"You did real good, Dray."
"Thanks, Regulus." I say gratefully. I know Regulus doesn't like doing things
like that to me, but his desire to prepare me for what I might face later on in
my life supersedes that dislike.
"Ok, so, now the Cruciatus curse." Regulus winces slightly even as he says the
word.
"You're definitely not using that one on me." I say, attempting humour, but it
falls flat.
"Don't joke about it, Draco." Regulus pierces me with a stare so intense that
it makes me want to turn away and hide. "The Cruciatus curse is a repulsive
piece of magic. I've seen it used to torture people into madness. Good people.
Bad people. It doesn't matter. The Cruciatus curse is cruel and unrelenting,
and the Wizards and Witches who use it usually are too. I wouldn't wish the
Cruciatus curse even on those I hate."
I nod sagely, and point my wand at the transfigured bird. I bite my lip in
trepidation.
"Remember, for the Cruciatus curse to take effect, you have to mean it."
Regulus reminds me gently. He has this look on his face like he's already
mentally preparing himself for nightmares. Or maybe he's just remembering all
the people he must have seen the ultimate torture curse used on.
"I know this is hard Draco." Regulus says when my hand begins to waver. The
transfigured bird hops around on the desk, pecking at the wood surface every
few seconds. "I don't expect you to ever use this curse on anyone in a battle
or duel, but it's imperative that you understand how dangerous these curses can
be. It would probably haunt me for the rest of my life if you got hurt just
because I didn't do everything within my power to prepare you for this kind of
attack."
I feel a renewed sense of confidence. I need to do this. Some might say that
Regulus is damaging me more than he's helping me by asking me to perform this
curse. But I think Regulus is right about me needing to understand just how
destructive they are. Knowing what it feels like to cast a curse can often help
you better operate the counter-curse. Not that that would help me with the
Cruciatus curse, but the point still stands.
I think about every moment of anger I've ever felt. Anger at people who have
sneered at me and my friends and family. Anger at Voldemort for killing my
parents. Anger at the world…..because, come on, who isn't at least a little bit
angry at the world for something.
"Crucio!" I practically spit the word out like a vile insult.
Maybe we all have a bit of darkness inside of us.
The transfigured bird writhes in the most unnatural way possible. A sound far
too much like a scream is ripped out of the bird's throat. I grit my teeth and
try not to apologise out loud even though I really want to. After a few long
seconds I lower my wand and the bird is left twitching violently on Regulus'
desk.
I look over at Regulus for his assessment. He looks almost as troubled as I
feel.
"I'm sorry." I say to him. "I'm sorry for all the bad memories you'll probably
never tell me about."
Regulus looks right at me then, and he smiles just a little.
"If I didn't love you as much as I do, Draco…..I would tell you everything." He
says simply.
I don't actually think that makes sense. But it does to Regulus, and that's
really the only part that matters.
"Sometimes it isn't all about hatred." I say.
I point at the half dead bird and whisper softly,
"Avada Kedavra."
A flash of blinding green light. A rush of the darkest magic. Then nothing at
all.
"Yes," Regulus says, looking gravely at me. "It can be about mercy as well."
…
"Welcome to the first by monthly debate club meeting." Hermione says proudly.
I really don't know how I got tricked into this one. I blame Hermione and her
genuine desire to change the world for the better.
Somehow Hermione convinced me to go along with her plan to create an actual
debate club. All we really needed was a teacher to supervise and a classroom to
use. I solved both of those problems by casually mentioning the idea to Nana
Mars. She offered herself and the Divination classroom before I'd even finished
explaining what we wanted to do.
Nana Mars is now sitting in the corner of the room wearing a sequined muumuu
and a top hat. I thought it was an ordinary top hat at first, but when I got a
bit closer I realised that Nana Mars is wearing the talking top hat I met two
months ago.
I've been so busy with classes and homework and attempting to socialise with
new people and endeavouring to not stalk Harry Potter like my inner crazy keeps
urging me to, that I haven't had any time to visit the special room Flitchwick
showed me.
I'll admit to spending most of my time in the library. But to be fair, that's
also where all of my friends hang out as well. As for the Harry Potter issue,
not that there really is one because I'm completely fine and don't ever even
think about him at all so shut up I don't like him and I don't want to kiss his
face with my face and….wait, what?
I've basically just been avoiding Harry as much as possible. In fact I think
I've spent more time with his girlfriend Astrid over the last couple of months
since we often partner up in Divination. I like Astrid, and we've become fast
friends, which to me, feels like an even better reason not to be around Harry
too much. Astrid clearly adores Harry, what with the way she talks about him so
fondly. Whenever I see Astrid and Harry together they seem happy and lovey and
all that gooey shit.
My classes have been good so far. I particularly enjoy Astronomy, Charms and of
course our flying lessons. I didn't realise how much I'd love the feel of being
thirty feet in the air and flying around on a broomstick. It's such an amazing
rush and well worth being a Wizard just to be able to fly like that. I'm
definitely going to try out for our House team next year.
I also like my Ancient runes and Arithmancy classes. They're a lot harder than
most of my other classes, but I appreciate the challenge. Of course I'm rather
skilled in Potions, because despite everything, Regulus really is a great
teacher. When I was home-schooled Regulus insisted on me having a very thorough
knowledge of Potions work. Herbology isn't bad either, because it ties in a lot
with Potions anyway. Transfiguration is one of my stronger subjects as well I
think…ok, crap, I just love all of it.
I love learning new things alongside my fellow students. I love sitting in the
library or in the Ravenclaw common room, which looks exactly like a library
anyway, and doing homework with my friends. I love sharing a dorm with Terry
and Kasper and sitting on each other's beds so that we can talk and argue and
play games. Kasper and I have ended up falling asleep together more than once
on the same bed. I think it's just because we're used to it from home. Kasper's
Dad is a busy man, so Kasper used to stay over a lot of the time.
Once Kasper, Terry and I all fell asleep together by accident and we woke up
smooshed and wrapped around each other in a way that would have been mortifying
if we hadn't been best mates since we were five.
I woke up first, because of course I would be the one to experience the full
magnitude of our potential embarrassment. I tried to disentangle myself
carefully and quietly, but Kasper had his arm wrapped tightly around my waist,
and Terry's legs were completely tangled up with mine. I felt like a giant
living teddy bear. Terry was snoring into my neck, and Kasper was snuggled up
against my back. Part of me wanted to laugh, and another part of me vowed never
to tell anyone about that moment for as long as I lived.
Nana Mars would try to give me another lecture about threesomes, and Regulus
would accuse me of corrupting Terry and Kasper. Then he would have laughed at
me for the rest of his life. Cho would probably just sigh and say that she
needed to find some new friends. Hermione would blush up a storm like she
always does when anything even remotely sexual comes up. I took Hermione to
have tea with Nana Mars one afternoon and Hermione almost exploded with
embarrassment when Nana Mars told a story about the time she worked as a
stripper in downtown Bangkok.
I did wonder if that was the same trip as when Nana Mars got her teaching
degree and somehow managed to piss off a monastery full of monks. I thought
better of asking though. I was quite sure Hermione wasn't ready to hear
whatever story was behind all that if she wasn't ready for a simple story about
strippers.
Mid way through attempting to free myself from Terry and Kasper's, surprisingly
strong, clutches, I looked up met a pair of sapphire blue eyes from across the
room.
Our one other dorm mate, a startlingly good looking boy named Micah Bluestone,
locked eyes with me. He raised an ebony eyebrow as if to say 'need some help
over there'. I did in fact need some help, but I wasn't sure exactly how to
phrase that without sounding weird. Although why I bothered worrying about that
I don't really know. I was sure Micah already thought I was pretty weird.
We hadn't spoken much, and I got the impression that Micah felt a bit
intimidated by my obviously close friendship with Terry and Kasper. It was
Kasper who told me that Micah doesn't talk much to anyone. I always thought
maybe he was just shy, but the look Micah was giving me in that moment wasn't
shy at all. If anything, it looked more than mildly amused, bordering on smirk
territory.
"This isn't what it looks like." I said to Micah, gesturing down at my far too
touchy-feely friends, who were still groping me. And somehow also still asleep.
I wanted to slap myself right after I said that. No one innocent ever says
'this isn't what it looks like'. That sentence should be every liar's
catchphrase.
Micah just raised his other eyebrow at me. His expression wasn't judgemental
though. Micah got out of bed, picked up a pillow and threw it at Kasper. The
pillow hit Kasper in the face and he jerked awake with a startled yelp. Terry
woke up from the commotion and almost fell right off of my bed in surprise.
"What the bloody hell?" Kasper said, his grey eyes darting around the room in
panic mode.
Terry frowned at me and Kasper, his expression still sleepy.
"Well," Terry said tiredly, "it's a good thing we're not at home. If my parents
saw us like this they'd be all scandalised and shit."
That got a laugh out of me. Micah and Kasper laughed too.
From that point onwards I tried to talk to Micah more. He often went outside by
the lake during his free time. I invited myself along a few times. Micah seemed
disturbed by my presence at first, almost as if I was invading his private
space. But eventually Micah gave in and started purposefully waiting around for
me so that we could walk down to the lake together.
I'm glad I decided to forcibly befriend Micah. He's funny, in a quietly
sarcastic way, and he's also incredibly clever. It's not at all surprising to
me that he's shared the top spot with Hermione for the last three years
running.
Micah has an older brother named Isaiah who is best friends with Cedric. Isaiah
is quite protective of Micah. Mostly because when Micah was ten he got caught
up in an explosion at the Ministry and lost one of his senses. Micah has told
me that being deaf makes using some forms of magic a bit harder, but for the
most part he's ok as long as he practises enough.
I've dragged Micah along with me to our first debate club meeting. He agreed to
come on the condition that he doesn't actually have to debate anything. I
agreed easily. I don't actually know if we'll get around to debating stuff this
first session anyway. Mostly I'm just surprised that so many people are here
and want to be part of this club. I don't think Hermione even had to blackmail
any of them into it.
Hermione and I stand up at the front together, side by side, as the founding
members of this club. Everyone else is already seated around the room and are
watching us expectantly.
"Thanks for coming." I say into the slightly awkward silence. "I think it's
best if we start off by introducing ourselves. I know you've all been
classmates for three years, but I'm new and it'd help if I knew everyone's
names at least."
"Good idea, Drake." Hermione say cheerfully. "We'll take turns standing up and
saying our names."
"I'll start my strange little lovelies!" Nana Mars says brightly. She stands up
and throws her tattooed arms out wide. "My name is Nana Mars and this is my new
friend, Sir Barthem Davenport the third." Nana Mars gestures at the talking top
hat currently seated on her head.
"And a good afternoon to you all." Sir Barthem Davenport the third says
politely. Which makes me instantly suspicious.
"Hermione Granger." Hermione says, taking up the baton.
I take a step forward and say,
"Drake Black."
"Terry Boot." Terry calls out, jumping up from his seat. He's grinning at me in
a way that makes me nervous.
"Kasper Diggory." Kasper stands up next. He gives me a supportive smile. He
also winks at Hermione, causing her to giggle and then look horrified that she
allowed herself to giggle out loud.
"Cho Chang." Cho says, standing up and elbowing Terry warningly.
"Harry Potter." Harry stands up slowly, his eyes fixed on me intently. I try to
ignore him, but it's practically impossible when he's staringat me like that.
"Astrid Greengrass." Astrid jumps up next to Harry and beams happily at me.
Astrid takes Harry's hand and he turns to look at her, his expression softening
into something sweet and less intense.
I really just don't get him at all. Except I do, and that's what makes it all
so maddening.
Honestly, I don't think Harry even realises that the way he looks at me isn't
how platonic friends should look at each other. At first I found it hard to
believe that anyone could be thatoblivious. But after having spent some time
around him I can officially say that Harry really is completely unaware of
whatever's going on between us. If for no other reason, that's enough to make
me want to run a mile.
Harry can stay in his bubble. With his girlfriend. His nice, pretty, sweet
girlfriend who, for whatever reason, seems to like me.
I turn my attention away from Harry and Astrid as the rest of the students take
their turn standing up and saying their name.
Our attendance list is as follows:
Hermione Granger
Drake Black
Cho Chang
Terry Boot
Kasper Diggory
Astrid Greengrass
Harry Potter
Max Malfoy.
Astoria Greengrass
Clarke Morgenstern
Micah Bluestone
Jacob Warner
Zacharias Smith
Walter Lux
Lexi Salvatore
Michael Corner
Ernie MacMillan
Marley Greenwood
Sophia Slater
Benji Moon
Once that's all over and done with, Hermione writes down three potential topics
on an old whiteboard. I do not know where she found it and I was bit scared to
ask to be honest. An earnest and sneaky Hermione is damn frightening, I swear.
Our three opening statements are:
-House elves should be paid for their services.
-The Unity Tournament should have stayed band.
-We should abolish the house system at Hogwarts.
"Ok." I say, clapping my hands together, "These are our three topics up for
debate today. Would anyone like to kick us off with a response to any of the
three opening statements written on the board?"
Clarke Morgenstern, a tall red headed girl with glasses, raises her hand and
says,
"I agree that we should get rid of the House system."
That causes quite a bit of whispering amongst the other club members.
"Can you tell us why you think that?" I ask encouragingly.
Clarke sighs, looking a bit less confident than before in the face of her
peers' reaction.
"I think people care too much about what house they're sorted into. Just
because you're put into…like…Gryffindor, that doesn't mean you're gonna be
really brave all the time. And it doesn't mean other people from different
houses can't be brave too."
"You're only saying that because you're in Hufflepuff." Michael Corner, a
Ravenclaw boy with a sulky mouth, says. "No one wants to be in Hufflepuff when
they get sorted."
"Actually that's an interesting point." I say, "There is a certain stigma
surrounding each individual house."
"Yeah," Max says angrily, "like how people think all Slytherins are evil and
shit."
"We don't think you're evil." Kasper calls out, a teasing smile on his face,
"We just think you're a load of sneaky tossers. Stop projecting your own
insecurities onto us Malfoy."
Max snorts and flips his middle finger up in Kasper's general direction. Kasper
laughs, never one to take things like that to heart.
"I don't think it's a coincidence that there are no Gryffindor's in this club
apart from Granger." Lexi Salvatore, very beautiful raven haired girl with sea-
green eyes and a determined expression on her face. Lexi is another Ravenclaw.
Actually apart from Hermione, our only Gryffindor member, and Harry, Max and
Astoria who are obviously from Slytherin, everyone else is either a Ravenclaw
or Hufflepuff. I don't know if that's just the way things worked out, or if
there's some hidden meaning behind it.
"What do you mean by that?" Hermione asks Lexi, a small frown on her face.
Lexi sits forward in her seat, eyes bright and intent, as she explains,
"Gryffindor is seen as the hero house is what I'm trying to say. Everyone knows
that future heroes go into Gryffindor, future evil dark wizards go into
Slytherin, book loving know-it-all's go into Ravenclaw, and anyone left behind
gets dropped into Hufflepuff."
I think about Cedric then. Practically my whole life I've looked up to Cedric.
He's my best friend's big brother. When I was younger I thought he was the
greatest, bravest, coolest person ever. He was always so good looking, clever,
strong, kind...he was all of those things, and he still is. I could never
imagine Cedric being 'left behind', or just 'dropped' into anywhere. Anyone who
thinks that nobody interesting ever gets put into Hufflepuff is full of crap.
Another burst of whispering travels around the room once Lexi is finished
speaking.
"But what does that have to do with Gryffindor's not being in this club?"
Marley Greenwood, a Hufflepuff boy, asks. Marley has an Irish accent and brown
freckles covering his cheeks.
Marley's friend Jacob Warner raises his hand politely and says with conviction,
"I think Lexi means that Gryffindor's are thought of and treated as the pseudo
popular, cool students, and everyone knows it. They'd never join a club that
includes taking other people's views into account. Debating isn't just about
arguing your point, you also have to be able to actually explain your opinions
instead of just stating them and expecting everyone else to fall in line."
Jacob sits back a bit in seat, seeming a bit embarrassed by his own words. He's
a tall boy with dark curly hair and sharply aristocratic facial features.
"The house system is a very old tradition." Ernie Macmillan says a bit
pompously. He's a rather stout Hufflepuff with blondish hair. "We couldn't just
get rid of it."
"The only ones who really care about tradition are Purebloods." Benji Moon, a
small Ravenclaw boy with a quiet unassuming demeanour, says matter-of-factly.
Zacharias Smith and Ernie, both Purebloods, make sounds of angry indignation.
"Woah, now we're taking the gloves off." Walter Lux, a white-blond haired
Ravenclaw, calls out with a loud bout of laughter. "I must say though, as a
Pureblood, I don't give two shits about tradition."
"Yeah, but you're a blood traitor so you don't count anyway." Sophia Slater,
one of Walter's friends says, clearly joking. I think Sophia is a muggleborn.
"Only because I'm friends with you." Walter says, and then coughs under his
breathe, "Mudblood." This causes Sophia to snicker.
"That's another thing to think about then." I say, exchanging a look with
Hermione. "Do our blood status' make a difference to how we're sorted? How
about our culture, or the way we were raised to view the world around us and
the people in it."
"I think how we're raised affects who were are, and then how we're sorted."
Harry says with that same fierceness in his voice that always throws me off
balance. Harry's eyes lock with mine, like he's talking directly to me instead
of addressing the entire club membership, "When I was being sorted, the sorting
hat told me I could be in either Gryffindor or Slytherin. He thought I had
traits for both houses. It could have gone either way for me really. But in the
end I chose Slytherin because I felt I had something to prove, and I only felt
that way because of how I was raised."
None of that really surprises me. I could very easily see Harry as a
Gryffindor. But then I wonder what I mean by that. Just because Harry is brave
and courageous doesn't mean he's more suited for Gryffindor than Slytherin.
There's no rule saying that Slytherin's can't be brave after all.
"The sorting hat is a contrary bitch." Sir Barthem Davenport the third says
gruffly. And oh yes, here we go.
Nana Mars reaches up to pat her new top hat reassuringly.
"Don't get upset in front of the youths, Barthem. They don't need to know about
your tremulous relationship with the sorting hat."
"Um, yes we do." Terry calls out excitedly. "We very much do need to hear about
it. In fact I think it's imperative that we do hear everything about Sir
Davenport's relationship with the sorting hat."
"I agree." Clarke says, waving her hand. "Please, Sir Barthem, tell us more."
I groan inwardly. This could turn really weird, very, very, fast. I need to
stop this before-
"Ok my wonderful star drops, raise your hand if you want Barthem to tell you
his love story of woe." Nana Mars says.
Oh no, too late.
Every single member of the debate club raises their hand eagerly, some even
waving them around with obvious enthusiasm. Apart from Hermione, who looks a
cross between curious and horrified. She looks over at me questioningly.
I roll my eyes heavily and throw my hands up in exasperation.
"Fine." I say in defeat. "Go ahead Sir Barthem, tell them the God damn story."
I already know the story of course because Sir Barthem told me all about it
when we first met. I was unaware until that day just how complicated the love
life of a sentient hat could really be.
Sir Barthem's love story of woe and ridiculousness involves three epic break
ups, one conducted at a muggle airport, another at a wedding for two other
sentient objects, and the last on a boat in the middle of the Caribbean. His
story also includes two love song montages with a lamp, and one proposal by a
top hat in New York.
I don't even...like...just...God, my life is so fucking odd.
Chapter End Notes
     Special shout out to-nephilim667,Diane
     C,LocoBriar,Ozmarie,Mo,makashuu and Athina Huayanay-THANK YOU MY
     UNICORN BRETHREN! EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU ARE EPIC TO THE CORE! TO
     THE CORE I SAY! Xxx
     A/N-I set up a debate club, mostly just because it amuses the hell
     out of me to think of Hogwarts actually having a debate club. I also
     set up a real one on AO3 attached to this story, so if anyone wants
     to join the Hogwarts Debate club, otherwise known as the HDC, then
     please sign up and argue about nonsense!
***** Cutlery Towers And Exploding Bubbles *****
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed." I say, looking around the stolen dinner
table apprehensively. And when I say stolen, I mean that literally. Nana Mars
ordered Regulus and Sirius to take one of the tables from the Great Hall and
bring it to her classroom. She insisted we have Sunday dinner together for the
first time since the beginning of the school year.
I helped (watched and gave constructive criticism) whilst Regulus and Sirius
carried the big wooden table up through the castle all the way to the tower.
Sirius shouted the word 'pivot' so many times that it stopped sounding like a
real word. I began to think that Sirius had just made it up and that's why
Regulus seemed incapable of following the order.
It was only when we arrived at Nana Mars' classroom that I wondered, out loud,
why they hadn't just shrunk the table and then carried it up all those spazzy
stair cases. I was then treated to the sight of Sirius and Regulus giving each
other 'huh' and 'wah' looks of mutual stupidity before twin glares of death
were sent my way. Like it's my fault they're both sorry excuses for wizards who
can't even remember a simple shrinking spell.
"Pipe down, Zelda." Nana Mars admonishes. "We're a family. And families eat
dinner at the same table on Sunday's and talk about their lives and everyone
else pretends to listen. Deal with it."
"Yeah." Regulus says, pointing a fork with rhinestones on it at me. Nana Mars
has her own home made cutlery set. Regulus narrows his eyes threateningly at
me. "So shut up and fake being deliriously happy to be here with all of us."
'All of us' includes myself, Nana Mars, Regulus, Sirius, Kasper, Cho, Terry,
Cedric, Harry (why? Why God must you test me this way? Why!?), and some random
newby none of us seem to know apart from Nana Mars. The supposed new member of
our weirdo cult/family has messy white-blond hair, grey misty eyes, and a
strangely vacant expression. She's also wearing angel wings and a bug antennae
hair band. It seems Nana Mars has found herself a new disciple. How genuinely
chilling.
I'm mostly bothered by the fact that somehow, someway, and by somehow someway I
mean as a result of Terry and Kasper's meddling, I've ended up seated next to
Harry at the far end of the table. He keeps looking at me all weird and
obvious-like. I'm about two seconds of staring away from telling him to cut it
the hell out and piss off before I do something stupid. Like stare back at him.
Or kiss his face. Or punch him in the face. It's a toss up between which
impulse I'd choose to act on.
"So, tomorrow night the schools from America and Asia are arriving, are you all
excited for the start of the Unity Tournament?" Sirius asks, addressing the
question to all of us.
"Oh yeah, a chance to meet students from other magical schools will be really
interesting!" Cho enthuses.
"Cho, you've already met students from another magical school." Terry scoffs.
"My cousins, remember?"
Cho shoots him a dirty look.
"Shut up, Terry. You know what I meant."
"Yes, Bootalicious, don't be bringing logic to the party all free-style-like."
Kasper says whilst at the same time building a tower of cutlery.
"I'm sorry." Terry says in disbelief, "Did you just call me Bootalicious?"
"No." Kasper says amicably, his eyebrows scrunch together as he attempts to get
a particularly difficult spoon to do his bidding and balance on a particularly
stubbornly anti-social fork.
"Yeah, you did!" Terry argues, frowning at Kasper.
"Then why did you ask?" Kasper murmurs annoyingly without looking away from his
spoon and fork tower.
"Huh." Terry makes a thoughtful sound. "I suppose I did bring that on myself. I
guess you're right."
"I usually am about these things." Kasper says.
"What things?" Terry asks.
"All things." Kasper replies.
Terry nods to himself.
"Well alright then."
Terry starts to help Kasper with his cutlery tower and the two them work
together without any further arguing.
Cho's eyes flicker between them in disgust and she huffs,
"Neither of you know how to bicker properly. It's sad."
Terry and Kasper ignore the hell out of her, too engrossed in their tower
building efforts. Cho mutters something about 'stupid boys being stupid' and
slumps in her seat. She broods for a few terminally emo minutes. But then
Kasper hands Cho a spoon without looking at her and Cho wordlessly joins the
building team.
I turn away from my pet weirdoes, for the sake of my own dwindling sanity. I
regret that decision only seconds later when I'm greeted with the sight of
Regulus wielding a big knife and an even bigger two pronged fork. In front of
him sits a roasted chicken on one of Nana Mars' rubber plates. Yes. Rubber
plates. She made them herself. They have glitter inside them. It's like eating
off of a tiny bouncy castle. Nana Mars calls them 'trampoline plates'.
I'll let you absorb that information a minute.
.
.
.
Alright? We good? Ok then, let's move on to something less devastatingly odd.
Actually, no, we still haven't dealt with the Regulus wielding a bigg-ass knife
yet. There is no way Regulus can be trusted with any kind of pointy weaponry.
Especially not for carving food. One Christmas Nana Mars let Regulus carve the
Catfish-turkey (I'm NOT explaining that one so you'll all have to come up with
your own conclusions about it). Regulus accidentally carved the table on his
first attempt. On his second attempt he carved a chair. And then, finally, on
the third try he managed to carve into his foot. How you ask? How could anyone
possibly miss a Catfish-turkey so badly as to cut into their own foot? Well,
Regulus was trying to balance better so he braced his foot on the table. Of
course. Because….just because, ok.
Regulus lost his shit, and screamed like a sorority girl from a horror movie
about the blood and the agonising agony, and for about the billionth time I'd
wondered how Regulus ever managed to become a Death Eater. Nana Mars didn't
even bat an eyelash as she took the bloody knife away from a still screaming
Regulus and man-handled him into a chair. She hit Regulus over the head with a
rolling pin when he wouldn't shut up and told him to 'women up for fucks sake'.
I just sat there eating peas from my plate and reading a copy of Justin Biebers
autobiography. Know thy enemy.
As if reading my mind, Regulus looks up at me from across the table and says,
"I can do this."
I stare back at him and say,
"I…I do not believe that is in any way true."
"You're my child. You're supposed to have unwavering faith in me." Regulus
pouts. He looks ridiculous. I hope the roast chicken comes back to life just to
bite him.
"I am not your child. I am a hostage. This is a hostage situation." I look
pointedly at the carving knife that Regulus is waving around like a lunatic.
"That's impossible." Regulus sniffs derisively, "All of your loved ones are
here. Where would I send the ransom demand?"
"Why do you sound like you've thought about this?" I demand, sitting back in my
chair in disgruntlement.
"I have." Regulus states unremorsefully. "You are very annoying."
"So your plan to get rid of me was to kidnap me and hold me for ransom?" I
scoff, crossing my arms pissily over my chest.
"No." Regulus says condescendingly. "I plannedto set up afake kidnapping and
then ship you off to Japan under the cover of darkness."
"Why Japan?" Cedric asks curiously from my right side.
"Why not Japan?" Regulus counters.
Cedric seems to think about that very seriously, the swine, for a moment before
nodding.
"Fair enough." He says.
"Why under the cover of darkness?" Harry asks from my left side. He appears
somewhat fascinated by the discussion. I'm not sure what to make of that. Or
how easily he seems to fall in line with my family. Like he fits. Just like
that. I may need to stage a fake kidnapping of my own if Harry persists in
being so unknowingly charming.
"I thought he would put up a fight. He bites, you know." Regulus says, jerking
a chin at me. "And I figured it would be less conspicuous at night when I took
him down to the docks in a crate."
"Have you ever shipped anyone off to Japan in a crate before?" Harry asks
Regulus, sounding genuinely interested and not all perturbed. Weirdo. And what
does it say about us that that question doesn't even warrant a head raise from
anyone else sitting around this table.
Regulus' expression goes blank and says neutrally.
"Never you mind, Popper."
"My name's Potter." Harry says dryly.
Regulus shrugs uncaringly and says,
"Same thing. There's a 'P' and an 'o' and an 'er' in there somewhere."
Sirius scares the crap out of me by smacking the table with his right hand. I
realise belatedly that Sirius' black messy hair has been done up into bunches.
With sparkly hairbands. That new girl, the Nana Mars disciple, is clearly the
culprit. She's still kneeling on her chair and poking at Sirius' masterpiece of
a hairdo. I'm not sure whether she just did it so discreetly that Sirius didn't
notice until it was too late, or if she asked and Sirius was like 'sure, why
the hell not, make me look pretty'.
We all look over at Sirius. Even the tower building trio abandon their very
important work of modern architecture to stare at him. Sirius points
dramatically at his younger brother and announces with far too much
satisfaction,
"Aha! I knew it! Everyone always said I was mad, but I knew Octavius didn't
really move to Uruguay like his 'goodbye letter' said. You shipped him off to
Japan in a crate! I bloody well knew it!"
"Who's Octavius?" I ask.
Regulus glares at Sirius.
"Shut your face, Sirius! I did not ship Octavius off to Japan in crate. You're
an idiot. And mad."
Sirius ignores Regulus and answers my question, a grin still brightening his
face.
"Octavius was Regulus' boyfriend in school."
I turn a look of disbelief on Regulus.
"You dated someone named Octavius?"
Regulus arches a sardonic eyebrow at me and says,
"Oh really, name judgement from you, seriously?"
"Why would Regulus ship his boyfriend off to Japan in a crate?" Harry asks
Sirius.
Sirius makes a mock sad face and says,
"Octavius dumped him. On Regulus' birthday. Because he didn't like Regulus' new
haircut."
"Bitch deserved to be shipped off to Japan in a crate then." Cedric says with
almost comical seriousness.
"I DIDN'T SHIP OCTAVIUS OFF TO JAPAN IN A CRATE!" Regulus yells.
"I was held for ransom once." Nana Mars says calmly, a thoughtful expression on
her face. That is never a good sign. She goes on, "In hindsight it was probably
a bad idea to get involved with two enforcers for the New Orleans mafia." Nana
Mars shakes her head and sighs wistfully. "But the sex was so good." She sweeps
a hand out at us. "It's true what they say, kids, the bad boys know all the
right moves."
Oh my god why?
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, new girl pipes up from beside
Sirius. She says dreamily,
"I was kidnapped once too." She sighs and adds, "Nargles." Like that explains
anything whatsoever. She clarifies, "They liked my tinfoil dress."
Ok, seriously, I need to abort this moment before it becomes any more soul
scarring.
"I don't know what's going on anymore." Harry says, sounding very confused.
Finally. He's still an amateur when it comes to dealing with my family, so I
let him off the hook.
I pat his shoulder, which I realise quite quickly was a mistake. Heat so
intense that it makes me gasp singes my hand as soon as it makes contact with
Harry. I snatch my hand back and try to hide my reaction. What the frak is
that? I barely touched him and my skin still tingles like it's been licked by a
dozen flames.
Ok, new rule, no touching Harry Potter. I'll just add that to the list:
No staring at Harry Potter
No kissing Harry Potter
No imagining my wedding to Harry Potter
No blow job fantasies about Harry Potter
No getting trapped in a cupboard with Harry Potter (that happened last week so
I thought I'd add it since cupboards are small and boring and they encourage
both staring and daydreaming which Terry and Kasper full well knew when they
trapped us in there).
Harry looks at me with a speculative expression on his face. His green eyes
bore into me with the power of a thousand bastard suns. He looks like he's
about to say something important.
"Drake, did you just feel-"
I cut Harry off by picking up Nana Mars' Elmo salt shaker and lobbing it at
Cho, Terry and Kasper's, admittedly impressive, tower of cutlery. Elmo hits a
weak point and the whole structure falls apart. Spoons and forks spiral out of
control and clatter to the table in ruins.
Kasper and Cho turn to gape at me in absolute horror. Terry wastes no time in
pointing a shaking finger at me and proclaiming,
"Ja'cuse! BETRAYER! Our wraith will bountiful and unending you despicable son
of a Stormtrooper!"
Silence reigns around the dinner table for a solid three minutes.
Then,
"Who wants some chicken?" Regulus asks cheerfully. He goes to carve into the
chicken.
At the same time every single person sitting around the table shouts,
"NO!"
But it's too late.
Regulus misses the chicken completely and carves into Sirius' jacket. Sirius
screams even louder than Regulus did when he cut his own foot.
"This is my favourite jacket you bastard!"
Well, now we know why Sirius was never courted to become a Death Eater.
Voldemort was clearly very specific when it came to what his followers were
allowed to scream about. Cut foot, yes, cut jacket, no.
I wonder if Voldemort ever had a favourite jacket. Or a favourite, well,
anything. If he did then I hope someone destroyed it. Probably Regulus.
Regulus drops the big-ass knife and fork onto the table right before Sirius
dives at him. They both go slamming to the floor in heap of anger and
ridiculousness. Sirius pins Regulus to the floor and hocks back some spit. He
lets the spit slowly trickle out of his mouth, threatening Regulus with it.
Regulus struggles like a trapped spider underneath his brother.
"Don't you dare!" He shrieks at Sirius.
Terry and Kasper practically climb over the table and start pumping their fists
into the air, chanting at Sirius and Regulus,
"Submit! Submit! Submit!"
Cho is still pitifully attempting to reconstruct her tower of rhinestones and
woe. New girl is humming the theme tune to Doctor Who and stroking our dog,
Siri, who looks worryingly happy in the presence of such madness.
"This dinner is going exactly how I thought it would." Cedric says to me. Then
he frowns and adds, "Actually no, not exactly.
"Why? What did you expect to happen?" I ask him.
Cedric shrugs one shoulder and says,
"Not sure. I think I expected something to have exploded by now."
As if on cue a loud bang is heard from what I figure must be Nana Mars own
personal kitchen. I wasn't even aware that teachers got to have their own
kitchens. Or, actually, maybe they don't. It would not surprise me if teachers
at Hogwarts don't get to have their own kitchens and Nana Mars somehow bullied
Dumbledore into making her one as part of her contract agreement to work here.
"Oh no! The crystal ball! I forgot to take it out of the oven." Nana Mars
exclaims. She runs from the room and into her 'kitchen'. Her zebra print cape
billows out behind her as she goes.
Cedric sits back in satisfaction and smiles at me.
"Feels like home." He says. Then he leans over to try and console a despairing
Cho about her demolished tower.
Harry seems to have completely forgotten what he was going to ask me and is far
too busy fighting to pull Sirius off of Regulus whilst Sirius shouts 'I will
destroy all of your dreams' at Regulus and Regulus shouts back 'You said that
fourteen years ago and I'm still waiting'.
Bullet. Officially. Dodged.
There's no place like Loonville.
…
Professor Flitwick has all of his Ravenclaws ready and waiting to meet the
arrivals from Ilvermorny and Mahoutokoro in the great hall.
Dumbledore announced this morning at breakfast that we would be having a party
to welcome our new guests. The hall has been completely decked out with what
appears to be a forest theme. It quite literally feels like we're all standing
in the middle of massive forest. There's a starry night sky above us and all
the walls are green, the ground dark and earthy under our feet. The missing
tables have even been transfigured into trees.
In the middle of the room is a platform with a black cloak covering something
that sits on top of it. I'd bet anything that the Harmony Goblet is under there
waiting for students to put their names inside.
In honour of the Unity Tournament we haven't been segregated into our houses
and instead we all stand together in one corner of the great hall. Mahoutokoro
and Ilvermorny will occupy the other two empty spaces left in the hall.
Dumbledore told us we would meet the students from the other schools formally
first of all, and then be allowed to mingle with them for the rest of the
evening.
Cho and Hermione practically gave us a Powerpoint presentation about the Unity
Tournament last week. Apparently it isn't as formal as other Wizarding events,
such as the Triwizard Tournament. Another good thing about it is that the Unity
Tournament isn't regulated by the Ministry so we won't have any interference
from them. The headmasters/headmistress' from all three schools will be the
judges.
"Are Chadwick and Webster definitely both coming?" I ask Terry discreetly.
Terry nods enthusiastically,
"Yep. Webster replied to my letter last week. Apparently Chadwick wants to
enter the tournament."
My eyes widen at that. I'm not exactly surprised though. Chadwick is fearless.
The Unity Tournament is definitely the kind of thing I'd expect him to be
involved with. It's a chance to show off and prove talented a wizard he is. No
way Chadwick would miss out on that chance.
"Better hope he gets chosen." I say. "He'll throw a fit if he isn't."
"Too right." Terry replies, smirking. "Remember what happened when tried out
for the Turnpike Turtles last year and didn't make the final cut. He came over
for Christmas and was in a shitty mood for the whole holiday because of it."
Terry and I both snicker at the memory. The Turnpike Turtles are an American
Quidditch team, and Chadwick's favourite team. He was desperate to play for
them, even though he pretended like he didn't care either way. Webster called
bullshit on that and told me when he slept over at my house that he'd even seen
Chadwick cry after the try-outs.
"Yeah, he was really pissy that Christmas." I say not unsympathetically.
Cedric makes a snorting sound from where he's standing behind us with his best
friend Isaiah. Terry and I both turn to look at him. Cedric's face is set in an
expression of displeasure.
"Wicks was more than just pissy. He acted like an arsehole." Cedric grumbles.
He's the only one who can get away with calling Chadwick 'Wicks'. Chadwick
glares anyone to death who tries to call him 'Chad'.
"That's because he is an arsehole." Terry says without missing a beat. "No
'acting' required."
"Woah, is this the Chadwick Boot we're talking about?" Isaiah asks brightly, a
small grin hitching his lips upward at the corners. His eyes, the same sapphire
blue as Micah's, practically sparkle with mischief.
Cedric pales just a little bit, which piques my interest. Cedric isn't usually
so easy to unsettle.
"Yeah, he's my cousin." Terry says.
"Ha!" Isaiah exclaims. He pokes Cedric's shoulder triumphantly. "So I'll
finally get to meet the love of your life, Ced. Excellent." He moves his
fingers together like Mr Burns from The Simpsons.
Cedric rolls his eyes and clearly tries to look unaffected. He fails epically.
I feel bad for him. But, on the other hand, it's nice that for once it isn't me
losing my shit all over the place.
"Wicks is not the love of my anything." Cedric says almost scornfully. "He's
the bloody bane of existence, and that's it."
Terry, Isaiah and I all just stare at him, exuding an air of 'yeah, sure,
whatever'.
"Ced, you wouldn't shut up about him all of last year." Isaiah says, raising a
dark eyebrow at his friend. "You fancy the pants off him, admit it."
Cedric lets out a frustrated sound.
"I do not 'fancy' him. He's an arrogant, self-absorbed, up himself, reckless
little tosser who can't seem to mind his own business about anything. If he
went to Hogwarts he'd be one of those Gryffindor lunatics for sure."
"He's not that small." I say with a shrug. "He's actually pretty tall." Tall
and built and fucking gorgeous. But I don't say that part.
"Thank you, Dray." Cedric says to me sarcastically.
"What? He is." I say defensively. Terry gives me a sly look like he knows what
I'm actually thinking about his fit cousin. Mainly that is, in fact, mega fit
with bells on. Fact. "Don't get all pissy with me just because you luuuurrrvvee
Chadwick."
"I do not!" Cedric growls at me huffily.
Isaiah, looking thoroughly entertained, says,
"Oh, come on Ced, I don't have to say the thing about the ladies who doth
protest too much do I? What's the bloke version of that anyway?" He looks
thoughtful.
"The lad doth blatantly LIE too much." I suggest unrepentantly, even when
Cedric glares at me.
"Otherwise known as 'liar, liar, pants on fire' in the language of today."
Terry adds, still smirking.
We all laugh at that. Cedric splits his glare evenly between me, Terry and
Isaiah, which only causes us to laugh even harder.
"What is Cedric setting his arse on fire about now?" Kasper suddenly appears at
my side, a delighted looking Hermione standing next to him. I saw the two of
them earlier talking and giggling together in an empty corner of the room. If
they aren't already snogging on the sly then they will be soon. Kasper's never
been one for subtlety with girls he fancies.
Cho pops up, pushing through the crowd and dragging Micah along with her. I
feel proud that Cho has taken it upon herself to make Micah feel more included
in our group. She mostly just bosses him around, and because Micah is clever,
he does as he's told for the most part.
Micah and Isaiah discreetly fist bump and Cho spares a glance for Kasper and
Hermione, before settling her attention on me. It's then that I realise Cho and
Micah haven't come alone. Harry, Astoria, Max, Astrid, and Astrid's two best
friends Marley and Clarke from Debate club, are also trailing in behind Cho to
stand with us. Max looks as bored and pissed off as usual. Astrid makes up for
it by looking genuinely delighted to be alive, also as usual. Harry's face
lights up with a smile when he sees me, or at least that's what it seems like.
Maybe I'm just seeing things though. Yeah, actually, that's probably it. I'm
just projecting my own feelings onto Harry. Right. That's ok then.
Shut up.
"Cedric is pretending that he isn't completely in wuv with my annoying cousin."
Terry answers Kasper's question from before.
Hermione, Marley and Clarke look confused so I explain,
"He means his cousin Chadwick. He goes to Ilvermorny."
"Is he coming today?" Astrid asks delightedly.
"Yeah, apparently." I say, forcing a smile at her. "His little brother Webster
is coming too. He's in our year."
"That's so cool!" Astrid says, sounding like she means it. Damn, she makes it
hard not to like her.
"Is Chadwick your boyfriend, Cedric?" Astoria asks, for once not looking as
cold and detached as she often does. I've tried talking to her on multiple
occasions, but she usually just ends up staring me down. I don't know if it's
because of Harry that she seems to dislike me so much, or if there's some other
reason I don't know about. Despite his innately aggressive nature, Max is quite
pleasant towards me, which is nice considering we're technically sort of
family. I even managed to get Max to laugh once when I told him the story about
how Regulus once swallowed a bee and then spent a whole day convinced that the
bee was still alive inside him and would turn his stomach into a new bee hive.
Speaking of Regulus, he's standing with the other teachers at the front of the
great hall. Regulus and Sirius are behaving themselves for once, but I think
that's only because Nana Mars is keeping a close eye on them. Although right
now Nana Mars appears distracted by chatting with Dumbledore, who keeps
laughing raciously at whatever Nana Mars is saying to him. Dumbledore better
not get any ideas. I don't want Nana Mars and my headmaster to become besties.
It would just be too weird. I still don't know how she enchanted him into
giving her the Divination professor job in the first place. I can only assume
voodoo was involved somehow. Nana Mars probably has a Dumbledore doll somewhere
in her bedroom with pins sticking out of it.
Regulus keeps taking out his phone and tapping away at it. He did that during
our last potions lesson. It turns out he was playing angry birds. Sirius looks
over Regulus' shoulder and grins down at the phone screen. He whispers
something to Regulus, which causes the other man to slap him upside the head.
Sirius pouts at Regulus. Regulus ignores Sirius and continues whatever it is
he's doing on that stupid phone of his.
Cedric sputters in response to Astoria's question. He turns a dark shade of red
and says,
"No! No he is not."
"Is it like a friends with benefits thing then?" Astoria asks in the same
vaguely interested tone.
Cedric sputters up a storm again.
"What are friends with benefits?" Hermione asks in confusion.
"It's when people are friends who also bang." Max explains with hesitation.
"Bang?" Hermione looks even more confused.
"The American means 'sex', Granger." Astoria says with a sigh. She turns a
glacial look on Max, "Can't you talk like a normal person?"
"Why? You knew what I meant." Max says.
"Only because I'm well versed in the barbaric way you misuse the English
language. American heathen." Astoria replies drolly.
"Ok, can we not talk about anyone 'banging' my cousin." Terry says in distaste.
"Or my brother 'banging' anyone." Kasper says with a shudder.
"I don't know how we go here in the conversation." Cedric says with a hint of
embarrassed despair.
"Neither do I," Isaiah says with a grin, "but I enjoyed the ride."
Cedric lets out a long suffering sigh.
"Can we please talk about something that isn't my love life?"
"Ok." Kasper says, a teasing edge to his voice that I learned the hard way not
to trust under any circumstances. "Lets talk about Drake's love life."
Oh no, lets never, ever, do what he just said. No. Never. Ever. Never ever.
Please.
"Do you like anyone, Drake?" Hermione asks, looking just as evil as her new
partner in crime. Kasper and Hermione share a smile of pure evilness. Evilness
I say!
"I don't...I think that...you...I can't...just...I LIKE GIRLS!" I shout, the
pressure turning me into a prat of the highest order.
"No you don't." Cho says matter of factly.
"Yeah, Dray, you're gay. Remember." Kasper says to me like he's talking to
mentally ill person. "You came out to me and for a minute I thought I was in
love with you, but then I realised that I couldn't be in love with you because
the only penis I'm interested in is my own, and so I figured out that I'm just
platonically in love with you."
"Platonically in love?" Astrid says, a small frown creasing her features. "Is
that a thing?"
"It is." Kasper says. "And only true best friends forever get to feel it."
"Oh." Astrid says, sounding a bit disappointed. "I've never been platonically
in love with anyone before."
Kasper reaches over and pats her arm gently.
"Don't worry. Your time will come."
"Kas, you're a muppet and a half." I say, shaking my head him.
Kasper envelopes me in a tight hug that cuts off my blood circulation.
"Your love touches me, Drake." He says. "But not like that. Not in the bad
place. Just on the inside. Devoid of penis interaction."
"Stop talking about penis'." I whisper in his ear.
"That's not a very gay thing to say, Dray." Kasper whispers back.
I slap the back of his head and try to pull away. Kasper just holds on even
tighter and laughs. Because he's an arsehole.
I look over at Terry, Hermione and Cho, using my eyes to ask for help. Hermione
and Cho just stare back at me all 'what do you expect me to do about it, he's
your pet starfish?'. Terry isn't even pretending to be feckless and is openly
laughing at me. The bastards. Why are all my friends so annoying? What exactly
did I do to deserve this shit?
"Let go of me right now or I will bite you." I warn Kasper, in all seriousness.
"Nah, I'm ok thanks. Biting is a bit too kinky for an innocent hug between
besties." Kasper says without any inflection.
"Cedric! Control your brother! Right now!" I shout, whilst struggling to
release myself from Kasper's clutches.
"Kasper, stop trying to snuggle your best friend to death or I will...I
will...um...I'll get Nana Mars." Cedric says desperately. Ohhhh, bringing out
the big guns with a Nana Mars threat.
Kasper sighs dramatically and releases me. But not before pretending to lick my
cheek and then dancing backwards when I attempt to retaliate.
I wipe at my cheek and glare at Kasper.
"Why are you so weird?" I complain in a whiny voice.
"That's not a very nice thing to say, Pot." Kasper replies in a mock pout.
"He was dropped on his head as a baby." Cedric says, jerking a thumb at his
brother.
"Yeah." Kasper says, narrowing his eyes at Cedric. "You'd know that since it
was most likely you who dropped me. On purpose. Probably worried I would become
the new favourite. Well, jokes on you, because now I'm the anti-favourite."
Cedric gives Kasper the driest look known to wizard-kind.
"What the bloody hell is an anti-favourite?" Isaiah asks.
I move to stand with Micah, my only sane friend who thankfully did not join in
with any of the madness of the last few minutes.
"It's when your parents' disappointment in you is so great that they alternate
between trying to pretend you don't exist and constantly disparaging your every
decision." Kasper says, as if reading the description of a term from a
dictionary.
"That was deep shit, man." Max says, his voice low and holding a tinge of what
could be a Spanish accent.
"Thank you for sharing your daddy issues with us." Astoria says blandly.
Kasper flashes her a wink and replies,
"You are most welcome angry Rapunzel. My daddy issues are on display twenty-
four seven. I keep track of my brooding extensively. I see your prissy attitude
hasn't changed since we were eleven. Good for you. I hear petty is the new
bitchy."
I silently congratulate Kasper on managing to gain himself a Slytherin nemesis
for life.
Astoria's face colours and she raises her wand, as if to fire off a spell at
Kasper, which would be amazingly stupid.
Cedric places a hand on Kasper's shoulder and says soothingly to Astoria,
"Forgive my brother, he was born without a filter between his mouth and his
brain. It's a very serious condition that we are attempting to rectify. He
doesn't actually mean what he says."
Kasper puts on a shrill voice and slaps at Cedric's hand.
"Now, Cedric, don't lie to the poor girl. Lying is wrong." He nods at Astoria.
"I meant everything I just said. I promise."
"Max. Harry. Help me out here!" Astoria growls at her friends.
Harry looks like he would rather impale himself on a rusty spike than get
involved in this...whatever this is. Max just looks bored again. He's actually
checking under his fingernails like bored people do on TV.
"Tori, I'm not gonna get into a pissing contest with Kasper over the two of you
bitching at each other. Stop starting fights that you don't want to finish."
Harry says firmly, a glint of steel in his eyes.
"And the great Harry Potter has spoken." I say, clapping my hands together.
"Now can we please just stop-"
I'm cut off when shit starts to get real.
A blanket of silence covers the room when Dumbledore suddenly shoots a firework
spell into the charmed starlight sky above us. There are a few gasps of awe
when the enchanted stars suddenly explode with pure light, and for a moment the
sky is almost blindingly white. I close my eyes when they start to sting and
duck my head.
A hand grab onto mine and a familiar bracketing of heat laces across my skin. I
huff out a breathe and feel my entire body stiffen. I'm about to snatch my hand
away when a loud crashing sound causes my eyes to flicker open again. I blink
rapidly, trying to see past the blurriness of my vision.
All of my friends are blinking like confused fish the same as me, which is
good. Well, not good. But it's nice to have company looking like an idiot.
Although certain idiots should let go of my sodding hand sometime soon if they
don't want to get caught by their unnaturally nice girlfriend. I'm afraid if I
try to pull away that he won't let go and it will only draw attention to the
fact that we are actually holding hands.
The doors to the great hall have swung open and on the threshold
stands...nothing. Like zero. Ziltch. No foreign wizards to be seen.
Well that was anti-climatic.
Just as the thought trails off inside my head, a large herd of glowing bubbles
slowly make their way through the entrance and into the great hall. Yes, a herd
of glowing bubbles. More and more bubbles of all shapes and sizes float into
the great hall at a leisurely pace. We all watch them in fascination.
There must be at least thirty or forty bubbles in the great hall now. The
glowing orbs travel around the room, floating over our heads and dancing
through the air. When the bubbles bump into each other they make a sound like a
wind chime. A symphony of chimes ring out as the bubbles cross each others'
paths again and again. They move faster for a few moments, swirling to create a
whirlwind of strange lights. The chiming song gets louder and it almost hurts
my ears to hear it.
When they finally slow down again the bubbles rise up and up and up until they
touch the stars, and then seem to float back down. It makes me jump like a
frightened cat when the first glowing bubble hits the ground because it bursts
in a blinding flash of burning blue light.
I almost swallow my own tongue when I see that where there was once a bubble,
there is now a boy. A tall, unfairly attractive boy wearing red and blue robes,
which are tied together at the waist with a gold Gordian knot. I recognise the
uniform right away as I've seen both Chadwick and Webster wear the same exact
robes. Its the Ilvermorny school uniform.
More bubbles touch the ground and burst apart in blue light, revealing other
Ilvermorny students. I keep a look out for Chadwick and Webster. Apparently
they must have some control over where they land, because Chadwick and Webster
appear practically right in front of us at the same time.
Webster grins at us, his pale eyes glinting in the starlight. Chadwick looks as
cool and perfect as always, damn him. Chadwick lifts a hand and half
sarcastically waves at Cedric, who responds by glowering at the other boy and
pointedly looking away. Chadwick appears amused by this and not at all put off.
I have a feeling Cedric is gonna have his hands full with his not-boyfriend
this year, and it will be his own fault for turning himself into a challenge.
Chadwick could never resist one of those.
Once all of the Ilvermorny students, and their Headmistress Amelia Thermopolis,
have burst from their respective bubbles, they group together in one corner of
the great hall. Headmistress Thermopolis goes to greet Dumbledore at the front
of the room. Headmistress Thermopolis is a rather short woman with curly brown
hair and bushy eyebrows. She looks almost regal though in her impressive blue
and red robe gown.
Dumbledore shakes her hand and his eyes do that creepy twinkling bullshit.
Headmistress Thermopolis smiles wanly at Dumbledore and moves to stand beside
him.
"Welcome, welcome, our American friends." Dumbledore announces cheerfully. He
claps his hands together and the door to the great hall fall shut with a loud
clang. Dumbledore goes on with no dent in his cheerfulness, "I've been informed
that our friends from Japan are having some difficulty with their arrival.
Until the matter is resolved, I give Hogwarts and Ilvermorny students free
reign to get to know one another in the meantime."
With that he turns away and leads Headmistress Thermopolis back over to the
other teachers so that he can introduce her. God forbid she end up talking to
either Regulus or Sirius. They'd probably end up causing an international
incident by insulting her or just out right frightening her with their
weirdness.
"Come on then, before Webster hurts himself from waving at us too hard." Terry
says, rolling his eyes in his cousin's direction. To be fair, Webster is waving
over at us quite frantically. But I think it's more out of excitement than
anything else.
Hogwarts and Ilvermorny students move towards one another. Terry grabs hold of
my hand and drags me along with him. I grab hold of Hermione to take her with
us. Thankfully he-who-we-must-not-name let go of my hand before anyone noticed.
Hermione grabs hold of Kasper's hand, and Kasper grabs hold of Cho's hand, who
then grabs hold of Micah, who then grabs hold of Isaiah, who then grabs hold of
Cedric. We end up creating a weird conga snake as we make our way to Chadwick
and Webster.
Webster throws himself at us as soon as we're close enough and we share hugs
and greetings.
"I want you to meet somebody." Webster says to us. He yanks on the arm of a
tall, doe eyed boy who looks just as overjoyed to be here as Webster. If that's
even possible.
"Hi." Doe eyes says. He smiles gamely at us.
I take a step forward and pick up the 'introduce yourself' gauntlet. I thrust
my hand forward for a handshake. Here's hoping I've somehow gotten better at
these since the whole 'Harry' hand-holding-on-a-hill mishap of a few months
ago.
"Hey, I'm Drake Black." I say trying my best to sound normal.
Doe eyes takes my hand, and thankfully he seems to know what to do because he
shakes my hand once and then lets go like an ordinary sane human being.
"My name's Sam." He says. "Sam Winchester."
Winchester. That name sounds familiar.
Unfairly attractive boy with green hazel eyes, freckles and the poutiest lips
I've ever seen comes up behind Sam with Chadwick and places both of his hands
on Sam's shoulders.
"You good, Sammy?" He asks.
Now I realise why I know the name Winchester. Chadwick and Wester have both
mentioned being friends with the Winchester brothers.
"I'm fine, Dean." Sam says with an eyeroll to freckles. "This is my older
brother, Dean." Sam explains, elbowing his brother in the stomach lightly.
Another boy comes up to stand beside Dean. This one has almost unnaturally blue
eyes and hair the colour of a Raven's feather. He has a very serious expression
on his face.
"This is that kid I was telling you about." Chadwick says to both Dean and the
blue eyed boy, tilting his head at me.
I make a disgruntled sound at that.
"Whatever he's said, it's all lies. Lies upon lies, I swear it." I say.
Dean's mouth slides up into a smirk so drop dead sexy that I almost fucking
fall over.
"So it's not true that you single handedly undid a dark black lace curse on
your first try?" Dean asks, with an edge of obvious teasing. Chadwick looks
equally as amused.
Well, uh, actually no, that's true." I mutter reluctantly, scuffing my shoes a
bit.
"That's some very impressive spellwork." Blue eyes says, his tone completely
devoid of mocking.
"Yes, our boy Drake here is very impressive." Webster says, he loops an arm
around my shoulders and squeezes me up against his side.
"How did you manage to make that sound dirty?" I ask in exasperation.
Webster waggles his eyebrows at me and says,
"I have a gift."
Oh blimey, I can already tell that life at Hogwarts with Webster, Chadwick and
their unreasonably attractive friends is going to be a disaster. Add the death
tournament, Regulus, and Nana Mars into the mix and, well, I'll be lucky
survive the next couple of months, let alone an entire year.
Chapter End Notes
     Special shout out to-SlowHoe,RonnieDeVille and moomin4455-THANK YOU
     MY UNICORN BRETHREN!
***** Because Being Alive Is Strange *****
Chapter Summary
     Draco does a thing. A weird thing. Get ready to feel awkward on
     behalf of a fictional character.
Chapter Notes
     Thank you to all my unicorn brethren who commented! YOU ROCK! HARD!
     IN THE FACE! UM,...right. I meant that to sound like a good thing?
     Meh, whatever, you get me. x
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
I just about shit my unsuspecting pants when the Mahoutokoro students explode
into the great hall in a flash of fireworks. About twenty wizards and witches
riding broomsticks come flying through the open doors and throw fireworks at
us. Well, alright, they probably aren't throwing them at us, but my brain does
not register that conclusion. Instead it screams 'YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE IN FIERY
FIREWORK FUSION, SHOVE YOUR FRIENDS TO THE GROUND AND THROW YOURSELF ON TOP OF
THEM'.
I momentarily panic when I realise I have too many friends, or friendly-
acquaintance-like humans, surrounding me. Not wanting to pick favourites,
because that would be mean and all my friends are equally annoying anyway, I
yank on the friend who is standing nearest me instead. That happens to be,
because of fucking course it is, Harry. That stupid son of a biscuit head. Why
do these things keep happening to me? Why?
Harry, not expecting my attack, goes down quite easily. I fall down on top of
Harry to protect him. Protect him damn it! Not for any other insidious reason.
So shut your cakeholes.
Everyone else in the hall is screaming in reaction to the magical fireworks
that are exploding around the room. Some fireworks turn into animals and chase
each other across the hall before bursting into flares of colour. The
Mahoutokoro students are doing some fancy Qudditch moves on their brooms which
has most people enamoured.
I'm too busy dying of embarrassment on the bloody floor.
Harry is underneath me. I'm led on top of him. The world may end. And I
wouldn't even give a shit because at least then nobody would know what a
complete nightmare of a person I am.
Unfortunately the world does not end. Not technically anyway.
"Um, Drake, what are you doing?" Harry asks me, and I just about hear him above
the noise of fireworks and excited shouting from other students.
"I'm protecting you from almost certain death." I tell him. "Obviously."
"Oh. Ok. Good." Harry says, still sounding confused for some reason. "Do we
have to be on the floor for that?"
"Harry, you are, like, asking so many questions right now. Don't do that.
Please. Ok." I say. Whilst still laying on top of him.
Why can't I stop doing that? Not laying on top of someone feels like something
I should be able to not do on command.
"I asked two questions." Harry points out.
"Are you sassing me, Harry James Potter? Because I will poke you on the nose. I
am that kind of person."
"I don't know what's happening again." Harry says. He frowns up at me. "How are
you even a real thing that exists?"
"Ahha! That's three now motherfucker!" I crow triumphantly.
"Did you just call me a motherfucker?" Harry asks in awe.
"Really? Going for a fourth? No one likes a question whore, Harry." I snort.
"Woah." Harry says, grinning like a prat for reasons that probably defy all
logic knowing him.
"Stop smiling you weirdo." I demand angrily. I bop him on the nose.
"Stop being so...you, and I will." Harry counters, still grinning with those
stupid lips of his.
I have decided that Harry's mouth is my arch nemisis. It will try to bring
about my downfall, but I shan't let it.
"My Nana Mars warned me about boys like you." I tell him.
"Did she tell you to tackle them and stare at their mouth like you want to
destroy it?" Harry asks.
"Yes." I say. Because Nana Mars knows whats up.
"Do I get any say in what happens to my mouth?" Harry asks.
"And now that's six. I'm not gonna be your baby-daddy when you give birth to a
little question mark, Harry." I say.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I am a very disturbed individual. I'm not
sure if that was made clear at the door. Well if it wasn't then you know for
sure now.
It's then that I realise something very important and potentially disaterious.
The fireworks and screaming have stopped. There is nothing but silence and a
few awkward coughs filling the hall.
I feel like maybe I should just die. Like right now.
I know all of my friends are staring at me. I know that everyone is staring at
me. I don't need to see them to know. The expression on Harry's face is enough.
Then, in a sea of silence, one voice rings out clear and true and very, very,
loud. I believe that a megaphone is involved somehow.
"Dragon, stop making out with Harry Potter! This isn't the time for you to
explore your voyeurism kink. Get off of him right now. It isn't nice to sit on
people! We've been over this before!"
Yeah. Dying would be good now please.
Then there are other voices and I begin to suspect Ihavedied and that this is
actually hell.
Kasper. "Its like watching a train wreck. You know you should look away, but
you just can't."
Hermione. "Do they know that we can see them? Do they think they're invisible?
That would explain some things if they did think that."
Terry. "MY EYES! NO! MY POOR FRAGILE, INNOCENT, STRAIGHT BOY EYES! AHHHH!"
Cho. "Stop shouting and pointing Terry. You're making it even more awkward. And
it's already really, really, awkward. I think I can smell the awkward again. It
smells like sadness and dissapointment and mint."
Max. "This is soooo going on Youtube."
Astoria. "Max put your Iphone away! No one wants to see two idiots rolling
around on the floor!"
Sam. "Dean get off, I can't see!"
Dean. "Yeah, that's the point Sammy. Cas, you're a prefect, there are two
students breaking rules. Stop them.
Cas (I think). "I am an Ilvermorny prefect, Dean. This is a Hogwarts building,
and they are Hogwarts students, as you well know. I have no authority here,
Dean."
Chadwick. "So, Ced, fancy showing me your dorm room some time?"
Cedric. "Piss off Chadwick!"
Isaiah. "Cedric, quit flirting with Chadwick. There's enough sexual tension in
the room already with those two weirdo's on the floor."
Webster. "I'm having a lot of fun right now, like, so much fun-Wow, you have
pretty eyes! Can I stare lovingly into them?"
Micah. "I think your accent is making it harder for me to read your lips when
you talk. You want to do WHAT to my eyes?"
Regulus (with megaphone). "Drake you are making everyone really uncomfortable!
I did not raise you to sex up other people's boyfriends in full view of an
entire school...at least I don't think I did. You know you shouldn't listen to
me when I've been smoking my opium right? Opium gives bad advice. Very bad
advice. Like that time you asked me how to get someone to go out with you and I
told you to make a mural of their face out of skittles. Actually, screw that, I
give amazing advice all the damn time, especially when I'm high. I thought your
skittle mural of that kid Dan was very nice. It would have so worked if Terry
hadn't eaten your masterpiece by accident."
Someone I don't know who has a weird accent. "Give me back my megaphone
Regulus! I only said Nana Mars could borrow it."
Regulus (still with megaphone). "Go away Octavius! I'm busy being a good parent
here! You don't deserve this megaphone. You never did. I left it at your house
and you nicked it over sixteen years ago. Now my son is going through a sexual
crisis and desperately needs to hear the comforting sound of my voice. At full
volume."
Octavius (?). "You gave me this megaphone for Valentine's day. It was a gift.
You can't do take backs on gifts, Regulus. And who the hell did you knock up to
have a kid anyway? Was it that bint Maud? I knew she would get her claws into
you after I left, that sneaky little frog!"
Sirius. "Holy shit, did you have the sexwith Maud Mcgreggor, Reg? Moldy
Mcgreggor, seriouslythough? I know we were on the outs back then brother, but
there was no need to stoop that low. I could have helped you get laid by
someone who didn't look like a demented tadpole."
Nana Mars. "Octavius, Sirius told us all about how Regulus tried to sell you on
the black market after you dumped him for having rubbish hair. Completely
understandable reason for dumping by the way, his hair does look awful. What
kind of socks are you wearing? Are they blue? Because blue socks are lucky when
you wear them on a full moon."
What the actual fuck? Clearly I am dead if Regulus' ex-boyfriend is here in
hell with me.
I feel someone tap on my shoulder. It's Astrid. Because of course it is.
"Are you guys ok?" She asks looking genuinely concerned damn her.
Harry looks mildly panicked now that he's faced with the curious frown of his
girlfriend. Good.
I heft myself up and off of Harry (WHY UNIVERSE WHY?), with the help of Kasper
and Terry. They're both snickering and pretending not to like the arseholes
that they are. Sod them. I need to make better friends. Or at least saner
friends.
"We're both fine, thank you, Astrid." I say, but I keep my eyes firmly averted
from her face.
I feel guilty, but I'm not sure why yet. Which is just fucking fantastic.
Max holds a hand out to help Harry stand up. Harry accepts the offered hand and
gets to his feet with all the grace of brain damaged gazzelle. He looks like
Bambi trying to walk for the first time. It's odd as fuck to watch. And kind of
hot. Which just goes to show how disturbed my brain is.
Harry is being a prat and trying to catch my eye. When he realises that ain't
happenin', he tries to explain to Astrid why I tackled him to the floor, but
she's not getting. How could she, no one sane should ever want to. She looks
pretty amused though, amongst the confusion I mean.
I leave Harry and Astrid to sort out their shit, and turn to face my legion of
tosser friends. They all stare back at me. At least everyone else in the hall
has gone back to chatting. People are still throwing me strange looks, but I'm
mostly used to that by this point. The Mahoutokoro students have stopped flying
around and are now mingling with the other students from Hogwarts and
Ilvermorny.
I look over at Regulus. He's waving his arms around frantically like a lunatic
(because when is he evernot). He appears to be arguing with some random bloke
I've never seen before. I assume him to be the infamous Octavius.
'Octavius' is tall, Asian, and way too attractive to have ever dated Regulus.
For real. He looks like an actual super model or some shit.
Regulus and Octavius are glaring at each other and obviously arguing about
whatever it is old people who used to date usually argue about.
Nana Mars has taken back the megaphone and is putting it on Dumbledore's head
like a hat. He does not seem bothered by this. She is wearing his wizards hat.
On her shoulder. Headmistress Thermopolis is whispering with Sirius and both of
them are smirking at Regulus conspiringly. I would almost feel bad for Regulus
if he hadn't said the thing about the skittles.
I worked fucking hard on creating that mural. At the time Dan, one of Cedric's
muggle friends, had been the future love of my life. I was ten. When Terry ate
it I iced him out for a full week. I eventually forgave Terry after he got me
two new giant bags of skittles and cried outside my door that I couldn't leave
him alone with only Cho to talk to because Kasper was my best friend and would
always be on my side, and Cho was just a stupid girl.
I mooned after Dan for months, which everyone else thought was cute and
hilarious, including Dan, except for Cedric. That was probably because Dan and
Cedric were secret boyfriends. It became not at all secret when I found them
snogging in a cupboard. Busted! I ran crying from the house shouting that my
life was over and that I'd never find love and that Cedric was a home wrecker.
Which of course made no sense at all because I was ten and still kind of
thought kissing was gross.
Cedric broke up with Dan after that for some reason. He also told his Dad that
he's bisexual. His coming out was a lot more dignified than mine. Mostly
because his Dad wasn't a lunatic who demanded to know who he was banging or
another lunatic who accused him of having an incest kink.
"Why is Regulus' ex-boyfriend here?" I ask my friends.
Cho raises an eyebrow at me critically.
"Well you would know if you hadn't been so busy doing...whatever that was with
Harry. On the floor. While laying on top of him."
"Yeah, like, why were you doing that again?" Kasper asks me. He looks way too
happy. I think I might have to kick him in the knee to bring misery back into
his life. No one should go too long without it, otherwise they might forget how
terrible it is to be alive and behave accordingly.
All of my friends are now staring at me, waiting for an explaination. I take a
deep breathe and attempt to give them one.
"Ok, I thought we were all gonna die because crazy firework throwers were
trying to murder our faces with explody fusion and stuff. But then I realised
that I didn't have time to save all of you so I just jumped on the nearest
person, which was Harry because the universe has a vendetta against me for some
reason and is trying to slowly destroy me and everything I care about. So watch
out because I care about you people, even though I probably shouldn't because
you're all arseholes who keep LAUGHING AT ME COUGH KASPER AND TERRY COUGH!"
(I don't actually cough I just say the word 'cough' because my fake coughing
sounds dumb and strangely feminine, unlike my sneezing which sounds like a bomb
has come out of my nose).
"When I realised that we weren't all about to be annihilated by Asian Qudditch
assassins I tried to get up but I was thwarted in that attempt by Harry who
started asking me all these difficult questions and I called him a motherfucker
and Nana Mars shouted at me about voyeurism kinks and Regulus got into a bitch
fight with his ex over a megaphone and something about Regulus having sex with
a tadpole, which we'll defintely be addressing later because WHAT THE FRAK?,
and everyone was staring at me because it looked like I was bad touching Harry
and none of you helped at all because you're awful, awful, people who deserve
to be eaten by hords of pandas and I hate you. So there. That's what happened.
Happy now, you despicable, unhelpful, monsterousfiends? Ha, see what I did
there, I called you all fiends instead of friends because they both start with
an 'F' and because every single one of you is dead to me."
They all stare at me like I've gone mental. Well, except for Terry, Kasper and
Cho. Nothing I say, or shout, fazes them anymore. And I'm pretty sure I shouted
that last part pretty loudly.
"What...are you?" Astoria asks, looking clearly horrified by my very existence.
"He's a Black." Kasper explains, as if that means anything. Although, actually,
it might if they'd ever had a conversation with Regulus and Sirius.
"English people are freakin' weird." Dean says to the blue eyed boy who I think
he called 'Cas' earlier.
Cas says, his expression almost eerily serious,
"You said the same thing about me when we first met, Dean."
Dean looks partially amused by this, but a blush makes its way over his cheeks
that tells a different story altogether.
"Yeah." Dean says. "And I was right about that too." But the look on his face
when he regards Cas is almost...fond?
Americans are obviously completely insane.
Before anyone else has the chance to say anything, I hear Nana Mars once again
over the megaphone.
"Dragon stop bloody yelling about the deep love you have for your friends!" She
yells. "It's rude!"
I take it back.NowI can die.
...
"The intructions for the tasks the champion teams will face this year have
already been examined by myself, Headmistress Thermopolis, and Headmaster
Hoshi." Dumbledore says far too joyfully.
Once everyone stopped talking and acting like idiots, we all gathered together
to listen to Dumbledore womble on about the Unity Tournament.
Courtesy of Hermione and Cho, I was filled in on what I missed. Apparently
Octavius Hoshi is the new Headmaster for Mahoutokoro. Thier previous Headmaster
died very recently, and as Octavius was the deputy head at the time it was put
on him to come to Hogwarts with his students as Mahoutokoro's representative.
Sirius is loving this new development obviously. He hasn't stopped smirking
ever since Octavius got here. I didn't lend much credence to Sirius' accusation
of Regulus shipping his ex off to Japan, but there has to be some truth to it
because Octavius must have been living in Asia for years to have gotten a job
at Mahoutokoro.
I can already see that the rest of this year will consist of Sirius merclessly
taking the piss out of Regulus and Regulus threatening him with bodily harm
whenever he does so. Which I predict will be, like, at every oppertunity
knowing Sirius.
"What do you want to bet that Regulus will have killed his ex or his brother by
the end of this year?" Terry whispers to us. Us meaning me, Cho, Webster, Sam,
Hermione and Kasper, as we've kind of formed our own little anit-social huddle
in the corner of the room away from everyone else. As a form of protest. I'm
not sure what we're protesting yet, but I'm sure I'll think of something if
anyone asks.
"End of the year?" Kasper says sceptically. "That's a bit generous. This is
Regulus we're talking about. I once saw him punch an oak tree because it was
looking at him funny. I give it a week, two tops."
"Or how about that time he kicked a hedgehog over a fence because it bit his
toe? But then it turned out that it wasn't a hedgehog and was actually a spiky
rock that Regulus had stubbed his toe on? I give it three days before we find
Regulus laughing over a dead body. Most likely Sirius'" Cho says matter-of-
factly.
"Is Regulus the one who threw his boot at Headmaster Hoshi and shouted 'My hair
is fucking epic you noob'?" Sam asks earnestly. I've only known him for a few
hours, but Sam Winchester appears interested in learning just about everything
there is to know about everything ever.
It seems that we've found another book-nerd weirdo to join our group.
Excellent, excellent. The dork uprising is becoming more and more possible with
every passing day.
"Yes, that was my...um, father." I say with more than a little reluctance. It
still feels bizzare to call Regulus my Dad instead of my...pet idiot. At best.
At worst he's the loud creepy bloke who cries all the time that lives with me
and Nana Mars.
Sam's eyes narrow on me specutively and I realise he picked up on my hesitance.
I tell myself to be more careful around observant people. I'm too used to
hanging around humans who already know all my secrets and dumbos who notice
nothing because they are dumbos. Sometimes they're the same thing.
"And the guy who laughed so hard that he curled up into a ball on the ground is
Regulus' older brother, Sirius." Webster tells Sam. "Sirius is Harry Potter's
Godfather too."
"And Harry's the guy who Drake fell on?" Sam asks.
"No." Terry says, grinning broadly at my expense. "Drake didn't fallon Harry,
hejumped on him and tackled the poor sod in a fit of scary gay lust." Terry
wiggles his fingers in my direction.
I scowl at him and slap at his fingers.
"I only did it to save his stupid life!" I snap.
Kasper snorts at that.
"Save his life from what exactly, Dray? That firework of a baby duck that burst
right above your head? Ohhh, yes, a baby duck, howterrifying."
"Hey, ducks are evil bastards actually." Webster says with a shudder.
"Bloodthirsty little shits they are."
Sam raises a judgy eyebrow at Webster,
"Says the guy who fed pieces of duck pie to some ducks a few months ago."
"And they ate it!" Webster hisses. "Ducks are cannibals! They are evil I say!
Pure evil!"
I poke Kasper in the chest. Hard.
"And it's DUCKLINGS, not 'baby ducks' you uncultered simpleton." I say.
Hermione and Cho look at each other in open despair.
"How do we keep getting to this point in the conversation?" Hermione asks.
Cho turns her nose up at us and replies,
"Boys ruin all things. Fact. I don't even know why we put up with their
continued existence on our planet. If I was in charge then they'd be the first
annoyance I'd have blasted into space."
"What else would you have blasted into space?" Kasper asks her.
Cho turns a molten glare on Kasper,
"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking about you. Learn the difference." Then
she looks at Hermione and says far more nicely, "I'm really glad we finally
have another girl in our group. I thought I was going mad with just three boys
to talk to all the time."
"I can defintely understand that." Hermione says, ignoring the wounded look on
Kasper's face. "They do seem very loud and annoying."
"Oh, you don't even know." Cho says with a overly dramatic sigh.
"Hey!" Kasper, Terry and I all chorus at the same time.
"So, do you have a thing for Harry Potter then?" Sam asks me thoughtfully.
Webster elbows Sam in the side and stage-whispers,
"We aren't supposed to talk about it."
Terry joins in and also 'whispers',
"Potter has a girlfriend who keeps trying to be Drake's new best friend for
life, which is really funny and awkward because Drake has a major hard on for
Potter."
Kasper presses a finger against his lips and ssshhhh's Terry.
"It's a secret." Kasper says, "No one knows about it except everyone who isn't
blind. I'd say blind or deaf, but Micah is deaf and he knows as well, so."
"I think that's unfair to blind people." Hermione says, smirking at me. "You
don't need to see the creepy sex staring to feel the grossness of it in the
air."
"I hate you all." I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest petunately.
Cho pretends to play a tiny violin and makes a 'so sad' face at me.
I have the worst friends.
Our attention is dragged back to the front of the room when Dumbledore says,
"After consulting with the Ministry of magic's head of magical games and sports
department, Mr Ludo Bagman, we have agreed to change a few rules and
regulations of the Unity tourament. The most important change is that the three
teams will no longer contain a student from each school. Instead the three
teams will be made up of students from the same school. We have modified the
Harmony goblet to choose three students from each school to be put in a team
for 'Equality', 'Tolerance' or 'Freedom'."
There's an explosion of noise from all the students as they discuss this latest
development.
"What the crap?" Terry says, frowning.
"Doesn't that go against the entire point of the Unity tournament?" Hermione
says incredulously. "The teams are supposed to be a mix of students from each
of the three schools so that they can work together during the tasks, not
compete against one another."
My friends and I all exchange varied looks of confusion. It is a bit weird that
they would change the tournament so drastically. The Unity tournament isn't
meant to be a compitition between the schools. We're supposed to be learning
how to work with people from different backgrounds. Or at least that's what all
the books I've read about it have said.
"The rivalry is gonna be fiercewhen all this kicks off." Webster says.
"One more bloody reason not to enter." I say.
"Please tell me none of you are actually gonna enter this stupid thing." Cho
asks worriedly.
"Do I look like a Gryffindor to you?" Terry says in disgust.
"I just got out of having to play Qudditch." Kasper says with a snort, "I'm not
gonna throw myself into the fire again. Dad would love it way too much. He'll
have to settle for just onechampion son."
"Cedric won't actually enter, will he?" I ask fearfully. The thought of Cedric
putting himself in danger like that makes something hot and acidic twist inside
my chest.
"He might." Sam says. "My brother is entering and so's Chadwick."
Of course they are. All the hot older blokes have death wishes. Makes perfect
sense.
I pretty much block out the rest of Dumbledore's speach, figuring that my
friends can catch me up later on what I missed.
I'm too busy scaring myself to death thinking about all the terrible things
that could happen to Cedric if he enters. I'll have to stop him. Kidnap him and
keep him locked up in Nana Mars' lair if I have to. Anything to keep Cedric
safe.
I search the hall for Cedric. I find him after only a few seconds standing with
Chadwick, Dean, Cas and Isaiah. The five of them are talking heatedly about
something, probably the tournament and if they should enter or not.
Even so when Cedric looks up his eyes naturally gravitate towards me and we
lock gazes. I stare at him for a long time, emotions churning inside my gut
that I'd rather not feel right now, or ever. Cedric isn't just my best friend's
older brother, he's the one person I've always been able to depend on. He's
been the same kind, strong, understanding boy ever since I met him for the
first time all those years ago. I cannot stand even the thought of him one day
not being there.
Cedric has been my lighthouse in every storm I've ever had to go through. It
sounds stupid, I know, but I honestly think I would have been lost a long time
ago if it weren't for him. Cedric makes everything ok, even if only for a
little while. He makes me feel like I can survive my living nightmares, fight
any battle, do whatever I need to do, as long as I have him in my corner.
A memory hits me then, of something I haven't thought about in years.
~flashback~
"Jesus, Draco, what are you doing out here?" Cedric sits down next to me on the
sand. I can feel his concerned gaze looking me up and down.
I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them tightly. Rain
falls like mist over the beach, causing the sea to look like it's part of the
sky, stretching on and on forever.
I feel safe on this beach. Colbie beach. My home. I've never known anything
else. At least not that I can remember. Even now, when the remains of a storm
is twisting my beach into a macabre version of itself, there's still nowhere
else I'd rather be when the world feels so off kilter. There have been moments
when I've wondered if Regulus finding this place was an accident, or if this
town, this beach, knew what we needed and called us in.
We stayed because of Nana Mars, but something made Regulus choose this town in
the first place, and I'm not jaded enough to disregard the idea that that
something might have been magical. Maybe it was oldmagic. The magic of the
earth and sea and all the life that they both hold within and upon them.
Colbie felt us, knew us in a single breath, and decided that we were meant to
be a part of it.
Nana Mars once whispered to me in the middle of the night as we laid on this
beach and looked up at the stars, that Colbie takes in those who need a home. A
home that they know will be there for as long as they need it.
Waves crash against the shore, sounding muffled to my own ears. I rest my chin
on my knees and refuse to respond to Cedric's question. It doesn't matter why
I'm out here at four o'clock in the morning, alone. It only matters that I am
here at all. It only matters that nothing short of a tornado picking me up and
taking me away could make me move from this spot.
Cedric doesn't push. He never does. If anyone knows the importance of being
able to keep some thoughts to yourself, it's Cedric. He hides so much of
himself behind the persona that he created to please his father. I sometimes
worry that he'll lose sight of who he really is. I know I'll be here to remind
him, of course, but one day that might not be enough.
"I had that dream again." I tell him, after a significant pause that lies heavy
between us.
Cedric makes a pained expression.
"Yeah, I thought maybe that was why you were out here."
"It bothers me that I still don't know if it's a memory or not." I say,
frustrated in ways I cannot explain to him or myself.
"Do you remember more of it this time?" Cedric asks, still watching me
intently.
For the past few weeks I've been having the same dream over and over again
every single time I try to sleep. The dream is of the night my parents died.
The night Harry Potter's parents died. The night we both became orphans. The
night neither of us was supposed to survive.
It's like I'm being haunted by my own subconscious. Which is, as ever, a pain
in the fucking arse. Insomnia is a bitch and a half, no joke.
Today during our bi-monthly town meeting Cho had to pinch me ten times whilst
Mr Nox Fox (which the whole town agrees is a fake name because come on) whinged
about his hand made knitted garden gnomes being stolen again. He made sure to
mention at every opportunity that those gnomes were imported from Mulan and are
worth three thousand pounds each (who the bloody hell pays three thousand
pounds for a knitted gnome? Lunatics, that's who). The people of Colbie are
mental. Truth.
Every time I almost fell asleep Cho would pinch my arm. I assigned her the
position of my sleep-watcher because the last time I fell asleep with Kasper
and Terry in the vicinity they drew on my face with sparkly gel pens. Tossers.
Kasper drew a Mario cart mushroom on my cheek and Terry wrote 'knobhead' on my
forehead. The worst part was that no one told me I had pen on my face until I
got home and Regulus laughed so hard that he fell over the back of the sofa. He
called me 'Shroom face' for weeks.
I eventually got Regulus to stop teasing me about it by stealing his favourite
neon pink trainers (because in case you hadn't picked up on it yet, Regulus is
a nine year old child living inside a grown man's body) and threatening to set
them on fire with the barbecue blow torch. He swore to stop calling me 'Shroom
face' and I relinquished possession of the neon pink trainers. Regulus snatched
them from me viciously and cuddled the trainers to his chest. He stroked one of
them like a pet guinea pig and whisper-hissed 'my precious' a few too many
times. It was a weird moment.
Fortunately Terry and Kasper didn't have time to take advantage of my tired
state during the town meeting because they were too busy failing to hide their
demented laughter. Of course it was them who stole the ridiculous gnomes.
Again. They steal the gnomes every year at the beginning of the summer
holidays. Then in the last week they 'hide' them in weird places all over town.
Like sitting on the alter in the Church, or hanging upside-down from a lamp
post. It's a tradition. A stupid one. Cho and I don't involve ourselves in
their illegal antics.
And yet for some reason Mr Fox accuses meevery single year. I personally think
its because he hates Regulus. Mr Fox was doing some work on his house a few
years ago and some Colbie members were helping out in a very community-spirit
kind of way. Regulus was among them. He was supposed to be helping to paint Mr
Fox's living room walls. I warned Mr Fox not to let Regulus into his house, but
the man didn't listen to me. Predictably Regulus set fire to Mr Fox's coffee
table. No one is exactly sure how that happened, not even Regulus.
I was not at all surprised though to walk past Mr Fox's house with my friends
after school only to see Regulus come bursting out the front door and then run
full pelt down the road with Mr Fox hot on his heels wielding one of his
knitted gnomes like a weapon. He eventually caught up to Regulus and began
hitting him over the head with the knitted gnome. Me, Cho, Kasper, Cedric and
Terry all stood together at the top of the road watching the gnome violence
unfold.
"I remember...a flash of green light. A lot of screaming. But that's it." I
tell Cedric with a heartfelt sigh.
"I think I have a theory for why you keep having these dreams." Cedric offers
cautiously.
I look over at him and nod for him to explain.
Cedric lets out a long breathe and says,
"Cho, Terry and my brother are going off to Hogwarts soon."
I see where he's going with that.
"And I'm gonna be stuck here. Alone." I say quietly. I grit my teeth, trying to
hold back a sudden swelling sensation in my throat.
"Hey, you won't be alone." Cedric says. He reaches out a hand and touches my
arm gently.
"It was bad enough when you left." I say, voice breaking as I faiL to hide my
despair at the memory of Cedric leaving for Hogwarts for the first time. It had
felt like I was losing him forever, even though it was only for a few months
until the Christmas break. I worried constantly that he would never come back
home. That he would leave me. It was an irrational fear, of course, but that
didn't make it feel any less real to me.
"You don't think it was hard for me to go, Draco? To say goodbye to you?"
Cedric says heatedly, getting worked up himself with suppressed emotions. "I
didn't know how the bloody hell I would go months without hearing you natter on
about nonsense, or having you make me laugh when no one else can, or being able
to sit on the beach together and listen whilst you read me your newest
favourite book." Cedric squeezes my arm with an unfamiliar kind of desperation
that I can't quite interpret. "What would I do without you, Draco Black?"
I swallow hard, unsure how to respond to so much honesty. Cedric hardly ever
talks like that, with real feeling in his voice rather than forced, well put
together, emotion.
I place my hand on top of his and say,
"You did ok without me. You got glowing reports from your teachers, and all the
other students in your year loved you."
Cedric smiles. But it's a sad smile that I instantly want gone from his face.
"I'd still rather be here. This is home. Colbie is home. You are..." Cedric
trails off, leaving the obvious unsaid, for which I find myself oddly grateful.
"What will I do when you're all gone?" I ask him. "Start a knitting club? I
won't do it, Cedric. I've heard what goes on at those things. Nana Mars told
me."
"Oh, I don't know, you could finally set to task house training Regulus."
Cedric says jokingly.
"You can't train Regulus' level of idiot." I say, rolling my eyes. "I should
just release him into the wild or something."
"He'd probably get eaten by a polar bear." Cedric says.
"There aren't any polar bears in England."
"I don't think that would stop Regulus from getting eaten by one. I mean, come
on, it's Regulus." Cedric replies drolly.
I start laughing then, and soon Cedric does too. We laugh until the sun comes
up and all our fears and worries and nightmares are taken away with the storm.
~flashback~
I think maybe I'm too young to feel this much. I think maybe we all are.
I break eye contact with Cedric first.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you to everyone for reading, please comment! xx
***** Intermission: That Time Gay Stuff Happened: Straight Boys Kissing Gay
Boys *****
Chapter Summary
     I'm still working on the next chapter, but I wrote this a while ago
     and finally decided to post it.
     This is basically just a snapshot told from Kasper's POV of Draco's
     first kiss.
     I plan on writing more of these mini chapters for things that
     happened pre-series.
     Hope you like it!
Chapter Notes
     This is for anyone who's ever been platonically in love with another
     person.
My name is Kasper Athos Diggory. Son of Amos Diggory. Little brother to Cedric
Ezekiel Diggory. My mother, Katya Raven Diggory, died a few years ago.
I am a powerful pureblood wizard. I like volcanoes, blue glitter, dark
chocolate, lightning storms, overly complex mathematics, and ink art. I have a
crush on Cho Chang. I hate heights and moths. I live in a crazy town called
Colbie that is inhabited by insane people. 
And today is the day I will kiss my best friend.
"Kiss me."� I demand.
"No!" Draco yelps. His pale eyes are blown wide open with confused dismay. It
makes him look like a frightened chihuahua.
I frown at my friend. This is not the reaction I expected.
"Why not?" I ask, a bit petunately.
Draco nervously flaps his hands around, obviously trying to stall for time so
that he can come up with a response. I let him windmill for a while and think
about how I will never tell Draco how alike he and Regulus are sometimes.
"Because....because....because you're not gay!" Draco finally spits out.
He seems so sure about it that I can't help but argue the opposite.
“Says who? I might be. Maybe I’m a late bloomer. You can’t tell me how to live
my life. Don’t put me in a box, Draco!”

Draco levels me with a look that clearly means 'you are moron, why do I even
talk to you?'. It's a look he usually reserves exclusively for Regulus. And
occasionally Terry when our friend gets it in his head that he needs to annoy
Draco over a cliff.

Draco takes a deep breathe and says with forced calm,
“Kasper. You. Are not. Gay. There’s no such thing as being a gay late bloomer.
Either you like cock or you don’t. It’s not like broccoli. You can’t grow to
like it over time.”

I scoff at this. Of course gayness isn't like broccoli. If anything the gayest
vegtables are sprouts.

“Maybe I haven’t met the right man yet who can sweep me off my feet. " I say.
"Nana Mars showed me the GFY books, I know all your gay secrets."

"GFY books are like gay fairy tales, they don't count." Draco says, rolling his
eyes. He pokes my shoulder. "You're not gay for me, Kas."
I cluch at my heart and gasp dramatically.

"Um, excuse me, sir? My mind is a house with many rooms thanks very much. I am
a deep and complicated induvidual. You don’t know me. You’re not my real dad!”

Draco gapes at me for several seconds before saying in obvious frustration,

“Why do you keep saying words? Stop that. Stop it right now.”

“Just kiss me.” I say, infusing a bit of whinge into my voice for good measure.

“No.” Draco says hotly, his jaw set in angry determination.

I sigh heavily and tilt my head to one side in observation of my friend.

“You know I’m starting to think that you’re the one who’s not gay." I mutter.
"Here I am, a perfectly viable option for no-strings attached snogging, and
you’re turning me down on a technicality.”

“Kas, you being straight is not a technicality. And why would I lie about being
gay? Why would anyone do that?” Draco says, getting that pissy eyebrow twitch
that usually means he's about to lose it big time.

“People lie about being straight all the time.” I say with a half shrug.

Sparks of incredulity light up Draco's eyes.

“YES, that’s because no one in the history of ever has been the victim of a
straight-bashing.”

I sigh mock forlornly, mostly just because I know it'll annoy Draco even more,
and say,

“I wish straight people got to come out. You gay people get all the parades and
rainbow flags. Where is our straight pride day?”
Draco throws his hands up dramatically and shouts,
“Every day is straight pride day, Kas!”

I ignore my friend's outrage. It's easier to continue a conversation with Draco
if you ignore 60% of what he actually wrambles on about.
Luckily we're alone together, standing just outside the caves on Colbie beach,
so no one is around to stare at us for once. The people of Colbie do that a
lot. You can't have a argument in this town without everyone else knowing about
it.
When Barbra Mckay, the lady who owns the local flower shop, found out her
husband, Marty Mckay, was cheating on her with some city girl named Crystal,
she took all of his clothes and belongings and set them on fire in the town
square. Barbra danced around the fire singing Carrie Underwood's song 'Before
he cheats' whilst swinging her husbands baseball bat around wildly.

Marty came home not long after the fire had been set, and he ran screaming into
the square trying to save his stuff from being barbecued. That was a mistake on
his part. Some advice for future reference: If a crazy lady is burning your
stuff for whatever reason, real or imagined, remember to never, ever, try to
stop her. Because you will get whacked in the face by a baseball bat. Fact. 
I think pretty much every singe resident of Colbie gathered around the town
sqaure to watch the drama unfold. Nana Mars brought her tamborine and played it
as background music.

In case you were wondering, Barbra and Marty are still together. Because adults
are weird.

“What do you think straight people would come out of?” I ask Draco.

“What the frak are you blabbering on about now, you complete disaster of a
human being?” Draco huffs.

I poke my tongue out at him and then continue seriously,

“I mean, gay people come out of the closet. So would straight people come out
of the…..attic?”
Draco actually considers this for a few seconds before offering,
“Storage cupboard?"
“Car boot.” I counter.
“Window.” Draco says.
“Sock drawer.” I say.

Draco rolls his eyes and makes a face at the sky, which is looking a bit gray
and rainy to be fair. Dryly Draco says,
“Yes. The sock drawer. That sounds right.”

And, because tormenting Draco never gets boring, I say,

“What were we talking about? Socks? I don't need to know what you do with your
socks, Dray. All I wanted was an innocent kiss between besties. No sock inuendo
was intended.”

I get another look-of-death from Draco.

“You’re an idiot.” He drawls.

“Kiss me then!” I say, truly frustrated now.

“NO!” Draco yells back at me.

I poke Draco on the nose and say,

“Oh, go on....please?”

“Why do you want me to?” Draco asks suspiciously, his eyes narrowing.

Ok, time for real talk.

“Uh, because you keep complaining that you’ll never get to kiss anyone ever
because Regulus is going to keep you trapped in Colbie like Cinderella for the
rest of your life until you die an old, bitter, crone, unloved and a virgin.”

“You want me to kiss you out of pity? Wow, thanks, how could I possibly resist
such an offer.” Draco huffs saracsatically.

“Don’t resist. Kiss me and then you can stop complaining about dying alone.”

“I could kiss you and still die alone.”

“Yeah, but you’d have the epic memory of kissing me to take with you.”

Draco shakes his head in exapseration.

“I don’t understand why Cho fancies you.” He says.

“Cho fancies me? Seriously? Wicked!” I exclaim.

"She won't anymore when I tell her about this conversation, you lunatic." Draco
mutters.

"She will. Cho will understand that I'm putting my sexuality aside to help out
a friend in need."

"I am not 'in need', Kas. Understand what I'm saying. I am not going to kiss
you."

I roll my shoulders back. Clearly I am going to have to take the lead on this
particular gay expedition.

"Oh for frak sake, fine, I'll do it then if you're going to be so difficult."

"Do what-"

I cut off Draco's baby dinosaur screeching by pressing my lips against his. The
kiss shuts him up very effectively and I allow myself to feel smug about that
for a few seconds. My best friend shuffles closer to me and I deepen the kiss a
bit, letting our lips slide together in sync.
Draco's mouth is...warm, which is surprising since the beach is so cold. The
contrast is strange, but not unpleasant.

Kissing Draco is....nice. Good. I quite like it. Not in a 'I could pop a boner
at any minute' way. Because, seriously, blokes are not my thing, no matter how
attractive they are. Which is somewhat disappointing because I'd really like to
be Draco's boyfriend. I know that doesn't make much sense. Feelings are weird
though, so I'm not too worried about it.

When Draco told me he was gay, it made me question my own sexuality. I'd never
really thought about it before. I knew that I liked girls, Cho in particular.
Cho is smarter than anyone else I know and she's got a pretty nose and
she's one of my closest friends. Cho also kicks my arse at Wizard's Chess and
we both really like Arithmacy and muggle YA books. If I was going to want
anyone, it'd be her.
 
But Draco is my best friend, and since the moment we met, I've known that I
would always love him the most. I don't quite understand how that works. How is
it possible to love someone like they mean everything and yet know deep
down within yourself that you can't ever want them the way they deserve to be
wanted?

I think Draco's attractive, but I'm not attracted to him. Sometimes, like right
now, I wish I could change that. It would be so easy for us to be together.We
already love each other so much. But I can't change how I'm built, so there's
not much else I can do other than hope that one day I'll be able to let these
feelings go. I dread the day Draco falls in love with someone, because even
though I really want him to be happy, I still think it will break my heart that
it can't ever be me.
***** A Gift Of Nonsense *****
Chapter Summary
     Merry Christmas and a happy new year to everyone!
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 
 
~Group text chat during Cho, Kasper and Terry's sorting ceremony in first year~
 
Draco: How's the sorting ceremony going?
 
Terry: We're being forced to do battle with a legion of elves to fight for our
place in one of the houses.
 
Cho: No we are not! Don't be stupid, Terry!
 
Kasper: Yeah, Boot, don't lie to the poor sod. We aren't fighting elves.
 
Cho: Thank you, Kasper.
 
Kasper: We're fighting ogres!
 
Terry: Ogres with spiked clubs and machetes!
 
Cho: We are not fighting ogres!
 
Kasper: Oh my god, we're all going to die! SAVE YOURSELF CHO, I'll distract the
one with the moustache whilst you run away.
 
Terry: Why would you do that?
 
Kasper: Because I am a fucking gentleman, that's why.
 
Cho: You're a bloody idiot, that's for damn sure.
 
Terry: HOLY CO CO POPS, CHO SWORE! THE APOCOLYPSE IS NIGH! AHHHHHH!
 
Kasper: Quick, someone learn some zombie killing spells!
 
Terry: Avada Kadava to the FACE zombie scum!
 
Draco: I blame myself for this.
 
Cho: I blame you too.
 
Kasper: We're getting evil eyed by Professor Mcgonagall for some reason.
 
Draco: Probably because you're texting during a very important and serious
ceremony.
 
Terry: There's a fucking talking hat. It's not that serious.
 
Draco: A talking WHAT? Are you people high right now?
 
Kasper: No. Unfortunately. If we were then this whole waiting around in line
thing would be less boring.
 
Terry: Tru dat.
 
Cho: Stop texting! Professor Mcgonagall is glaring at us now!
 
Draco: No! I must live vicariously through you because Regulus is going to keep
me trapped in this ridiculous town for the rest of my life!
 
Kasper: How was your first day of secondary school Dray?
 
Draco: The lunch lady has a mole shaped like a star.
 
Kasper: Enough said.
 
===============================================================================
I poke the lump of squishy duvet a couple of times before saying,
"Regulus, stop pretending to sleep. You look stupid."
Deep within the bowls of Regulus' bed I hear a grumbled,
"Piss off."
I give the big lump another solid poke and cry in triumph,
"Ahha! I knew you were awake. Get up and stop being a lazy sod. You're supposed
to be in class. A whole roomful of students are waiting to be traumatised by
your borderline illegal teaching methods. Come the hell on."
There's a pause and then,
"I hope you die."
I roll my eyes.
"No you don't. I'm the light of your life."
"I hope you fall down the stairs and die."
I sigh dramatically, wishing for about the billionth time that I could have
been kidnapped and raised by someone who isn't a completely ridiculous excuse
for a human being.
I certainly hope that Harry is having more luck dragging Sirius out of his bed
this morning. We're supposed to be in Potions, our first lesson of the day, but
after about twenty minutes of waiting it became clear that neither Sirius or
Regulus were planning on actually showing up for class.
To be honest I was initially elated by the news and would have been more than
happy to spend a few hours studying for my other subjects and talking to my
friends, including Webster and Sam who were allowed to choose which house they
got to go to class with as they are the only fourth years who came from
Ilvermorny. But Cho insisted that I go and retrieve my wayward 'father'. Harry
agreed to go get Sirius, taking Astoria and Max along with him. I, against my
better judgement and will, conceded to Cho's wishes as well. Terry, Kasper,
Cho, Webster, Sam and Micah are waiting in the living room of Regulus'
professor quarters whilst I attempt to get my pet idiot up.
I shove at the lump on Regulus' bed.
"Regulus, we don't have time for this! There are things we have to do today!
Things! And stuff. Stuff and things!"
"Screw your stuff. I spit on your things." He growls tiredly.
I make an irritated sound and whack the useless lump that is Regulus again.
"You are the most annoying human alive. Don't make me drag you out of this
bed."
That gets a more animated reply.
"Drag me out? With your puny arms? I think not."
"That's it!" I huff. "Time to move forward with phase two!"
"Phase what-" Regulus yelps when I take hold of the bedsheet that he is
currently wrapped up in and yank on it. Hard.
I must be a bit stronger than either of us realised because instead of pulling
the sheet off of Regulus like I'd planned, Regulus comes tumbling off the bed
and lands heavily on the floor along with the sheet.
I don't apologise because...well because it's Regulus. You don't apologise to
be a bee for stinging you and you don't apologise to a Regulus when he does
your sodding head in.
Regulus is still tangled up in the bedsheet. Thankfully he's wearing pyjamas,
which admittedly is something I should have considered before trying to uncover
him. Because bleh. I've seen Regulus naked before and it was a traumatic
experience I have no desire to repeat. Regulus' thirtieth birthday party was
horrific for everyone involved for more than one reason. When he ran into the
sea shooting off sparks with his wand and singing 'Forever young', he, for some
unknowable reason, decided to shed his onesie first.
It was awful. Like. Truly. You can't even imagine the awfulness. I stood there
on that beach with all my friends and their parents, along with more than half
the town, watching a naked Regulus scream song lyrics whilst dancing around in
the freezing cold ocean. If I ever decide to seek out therapy then I hope my
therapist decides to report Regulus to the police.
Terry and Kasper thought the whole thing was hilarious. They shouted out
encouragements to Regulus and chanted in unison 'Go Regulus, it's your
birthday, it's your birthday'. Amos Diggory shouted at Kasper to 'stop behaving
in an undignified manner young man'. Kasper responded by shaking his arse and
break dancing on the spot. It should have looked ridiculous, and it did, but
Kasper is just one of those rare people who are charismatic and attractive
enough to pull that kind of shit off. It's honestly maddening to be the best
mate of someone like that because you always feel like a complete dork in
comparison.
Cho's father, Jian, the poor unfortunate soul, practically leapt on Cho to
cover her eyes. Which was a pretty moot point since Cho was already hiding her
face behind a book, 'The Hunger Games', that she'd brought to the party with
her. Never doubt the power of books. Books save lives. Books shield innocent
eyes from disturbing shows of public nudity. I wish I'd remembered to bring
one. I learnt my lesson that night. Always take a book to a party. You never
know when you might need to protect yourself from soul scarring future
nightmares.
Cedric was standing the closest to me at the time and I pressed my face against
his arm to try and block out the image of my naked dancing pet idiot. Cedric
wrapped his arm around my shoulders and let me burrow my face into his chest. I
felt bad for not being able to save Cedric from the sight of Regulus' naked
birthday dance, but you can't win them all. Besides, it was too late for
Cedric. He just had to take one for the team.
In the end it was actually Nana Mars, with the steadfast help of Terry's father
Quinton, who managed to corral Regulus back onto the beach. Quinton, the hero
of the hour, took off his coat and forced Regulus into it. Much to Regulus'
displeasure. He kept shouting things like 'Unhand me, sir, this is not how one
treats a lady' and 'Quinton your coat is unnaturally fluffy, how many puppies
did you kill to make it?' and 'Fiona, your husband is trying to have
intercourse with me, which I think is very rude to do right in front of you'.
In response to that last one Fiona just shrugged and shouted back 'We've done
stranger things in front of each other'. I promised myself that I would do my
best never to find out what could be stranger than watching your husband
wrestle a naked weirdo into a dead puppy coat (not really) whilst that same
weirdo sings Frozen's 'Let it go' at the top of his lungs.
When Regulus was finally covered up by Quinton's coat, Nana Mars handcuffed
Regulus to one of the pavilion polls so he wouldn't escape back into the sea.
Once it was established that Regulus was secure and unlikely to be 'acting out'
again any time soon, everyone just carried on with the party like nothing had
happened.
Fiona and Cho's mother Mai sat with Regulus and made him drink water for the
rest of the night. He kept passing out and then waking back up only to start
singing again.
I suggested just putting him on a lilo and letting him drift off to sea. Nana
Mars told me off for talking aloud about my plan to assassinate Regulus. She
said that's not how successful murders are conducted.
Regulus heard me say the word 'lilo' and berated me for saying it wrong. He
said it's pronounced 'lee-low, you ignorant little elf'. He thought I was
talking about Lilo&Stitch and promptly began singing Elvis songs.
I see that this morning Regulus is wearing ratty pink trackie bottoms. They
have sparkled lettering on the arse that reads 'Princess'. Nana Mars bought
them for him three years ago for Christmas.
After a tense pause Regulus burrows out from his bedsheet caccoon and blinks up
at me from the floor. He looks pissy. Good.
"I hate you and everything you stand for." Regulus grouses.
"I don't stand for anything." I say.
Regulus sniffs mighty mouse stylie.
"Exactly. Your indifference to the problems of the world disgusts me."
I cross my arms over my chest and raise an eyebrow at him.
"Which world problems should I be worried about exactly?"
That seems to stump him for a good minute. But then he says tentatively,
"There are...wars."
"Wars?" I ask.
"And...bad people doing bad things." He says.
"And bad people doing bad things?" I arch my eyebrow even higher.
"And such forth." Regulus grumbles.
"And such forth?" I drawl.
Regulus pouts like a twelve year old and snaps crossly,
"You know, if I wanted to raise a parrot then I would have bought one instead
of you."
I scoff at him.
"You didn't buy me, you stole me. Kidnapped me actually. My picture was
probably on milk cartons all over the wizarding world for years."
Regulus makes a snorting-laugh sound and shakes his head.
"Nobody would have stuck a picture of you on a milk carton. It would've put
people off buying the milk. No one wants to drink milk from a carton with an
ugly child on it."
I glare at Regulus.
"I was not an ugly child."
Regulus smirks like the moron that he is and argues,
"You were. Very ugly. And small. It was off putting. Like I said."
"All children are small Regulus, you bloody idiot." I growl.
Regulus waves his hand dissmisvely.
"I never was."
"Alright Miss Trunchbull, calm down." I say.
Regulus wriggles around on the floor until he can press a hand to his heart. He
says reverently,
"That woman was a misunderstood hero. Dealing with a schoolfull of brats all
the time. I can barely handle you. Then again you do encompass the annoyance of
a hundred children into one. So."
"Let it go, Regulus, I'm not gonna argue with you about this again." I say.
"Argue about what?" Regulus asks.
"Your insane penchant for supporting fictional villians. I refuse to watch
Disney films with you anymore. Not after the 'Scar was totally justified in
killing off his good for nothing brother' thing." I explain.
Regulus snorts.
"Mufasa was a weak king and Scar had way more swag. His villian song was epic."
"Simba saved his pride from Scar's oppression-"
"Simba was a little bitch who made friends with his food. He should have eaten
the warthog. Fact."
"Regulus!" I shout.
"Draco!" Regulus shouts back.
Before either of us can say anything else, Kasper comes striding into the room.
He takes in the scene set before him with one sweeping glance and asks,
"What the bloody hell are you two screeching about in here?"
I ignore the question and say instead,
"Kas, help me get this moron to the Potion's classroom, would you?"
Kasper grins at me.
"No worries, Dray, your reinforcements have arrived."
As if waiting for their cue, Cho, Terry, Sam, Webster and Micah trail into the
room. Terry looks excited. Cho looks disgruntled. Sam looks...fascinated? Micah
and Webster are too busy not-at-all-discreetly eye-fraking each other to care
about anything else going on around them. Ever since Webster arrived he's been
flirting like mad with Micah. I was a little worried at first because I had no
idea if Webster's particular brand of flirting would scare Micah away. When
Webster decides to go for something, he doesn't hold back. Like, at all.
I wasn't even sure if Micah was attracted to girls or boys or both or no one at
all. My fears turned out to be unwarranted though because Micah surprised the
hell out of me by taking Webster's flirting in his stride. Not only that, but
Micah even plays along sometimes.
Honestly I keep expecting to walk into my dorm room to find them making out. Or
knowing Webster they could even be doing...other things.
All I can say is that they better 'make out' or whatever else on Micah's bed
and not mine. That goes for Hermione and Kasper too. And, for the sake of
covering all my bases, Terry and Luna better stay off my bed as well. Ever
since Luna came round for dinner she's been hanging out with us in the great
hall during meal times and occasionally when we're in the library. I've seen
Terry watching her with interest once or twice. Luna hasn't returned any
'looks' yet, but we'll see. Terry can be surprisingly charming when he stops
acting like a prat. And Luna is just as mad as Nana Mars, which is no small
feat, so who the hell knows what those two could get up to together.
"What the fucking fuck are you lot doing here?" Regulus demands. He glares at
all of us. "Actually, you know what, I don't care. Get the hell out of my room.
Don't you skiving little shitheads have a class to be in?"
"Good morning Professor Black!" Webster says brightly, seeming to have
completely disregarded Regulus' unjustified anger. I've never met anyone as
upbeat and genuinely thrilled to be alive as Webster. Apart from maybe Astrid.
If Webster and Astrid ever became friends then I think the world might implode
from sheer joyous positivity
"Yes, we do have a class to be in actually." I say. "But our teacher is a lazy
tosser who couldn't be bothered to show up."
"Hey!" Regulus cries, "You watch your mouth. Professor McGonagall is nota
tosser."
"I meant you!" I snap, exasperated.
"What?" Regulus stares at me, blinking like a brain damaged owl. Wait, what am
I talking about? He isa brain damaged owl.
Actually, I think that might be offensive to all owls, brain damaged or
otherwise, I take it back. Regulus is just an idiot. A big one. With knobs on.
"We have double Potions this morning Regulus." Cho says with a lot more calm in
her voice than I could manage at the moment.
"Bollocks!" Regulus hisses under his breathe. "I thought it was Wednesday."
"Itis Wednesday, Regulus." Terry says.
I hear Sam whisper to Webster "Is he wearing sparkly pyjamas?" and Webster
replies "Hell yeah. Told you he was awesome."
Regulus still looks a mix between confused and pissed off.
"Since when do you have double Potions on Wednesdays?" He asks.
Kasper gives the obvious answer to that one,
"Since the beginning of term, Regulus."
Regulus' brow creases and he continues to look confused. It makes me want to
kick him.
Kasper catches the violent glimmer in my eyes and says,
"Don't kick him, Dray."
Damn Kasper for knowing me too well.
I nod a bit sulkily and instead of kicking him like I want to, I smile grimly
at my friends and say,
"Everyone, grab a limb and start dragging."
My friends all leap into action. Micah and Webster take hold of Regulus' right
arm. Cho and Sam get his left leg. Terry grab his left arm, leaving myself and
Kasper with Regulus' right leg. Regulus yelps in protest and struggles to free
himself, but our hold on him is strong. Plus he's a weakling anyway.
It takes some doing, but we manage to drag Regulus all the way out of his
living quarters. We pause for a minute once we hit the corridor before
continuing on towards the Potions classroom. Regulus is lucky that we won't
have to go up or down any staircases. I wouldn't fancy his chances of survival.
It would be way too tempting to throw him over the side of the bannister.
"Put me down this instant! As in, like, right fucking now!" Regulus shrieks for
about the billionth time. We all ignore him for the billionth time.
"Should we have made him put on a robe or something?" Sam asks. He doesn't look
even mildly disturbed by what we're doing. It makes me wonder about the
insanity of his home life. I mean, my friends and I are used to dealing with
Regulus, but I get that to anyone outside of our mad family that this whole
situation would probably seem at least a little bit weird. So Sam must have a
pretty whacko family if he thinks what we're doing is normal.
"Oh no, he might freeze to death in the Potions classroom. It's so cold in
there." Cho says, sounding dismayed at the idea.
Sam makes a face at her and says mildly,
"Not what I meant." He looks pointedly at the Dark Mark on Regulus' arm.
"Nah, don't worry about that mate." Terry reassures Sam. "Everyone already
knows that Regulus was crap at being evil. There are history books that say
so."
Cho darts a quelling look at Terry.
"Terry, don't be ridiculous. The history books don't say that Regulus was crap
at being evil." She scolds.
"Yeah," Kasper says, "they just say that he tried to be evil, failed, and then
ran away."
"I know, I've read the books. I was summarisingthe important part." Terry
explains.
"That's it!" Regulus shouts. "Five hundred house points from Ravenclaw!"
No one even glances at him and I feel momentarily proud of my choice in mates.
When we get to the Potions classroom, I see that bedlam has erupted in our
absence. Both Ravenclaw and Slytherin students have taken full advantage of
being completely unsupervised. Of the people who's names I actually know;
Walter Lux and Benji Moon are playing a very loud game of exploding snap.
Sophia Slater and Lexi Salvatore are both painting their nails and listening to
music on their IPods. Michael Corner and Paul Jones are in the middle of a
spirited and somewhat violent debate with three Slytherin students about the
use of dragon scales in pain relieving potions.
And everyone else is either chatting, arguing or reading.
My friends and I drag Regulus into the classroom and drop him. That certainly
gets people's attention.
Regulus struggles to his feet. He grabs hold of my shoulder to help him. I
consider shrugging his hand off, but I'm not that much of an arsehole. Regulus
shoots a glare at me anyway. I poke my tongue out at him. He pokes his tongue
out right back. I see Cho roll her eyes and facepalm, obviously exasperated by
us.
An entire classroom of students are staring at us now. I elbow Regulus in the
side, prompting him to bloody well speak.
Regulus raises both of his hands in apology. He looks ridiclous standing there
with his black hair long and messy enough to have reached birdnest status and
his pink princess pyjama bottoms and...well, nothing else actually. Sam might
have had a point about covering Regulus up a bit more.
"I'm sorry for being late." Regulus tells the class. "I was...indisposed."
If 'indisposed' is supposed to be code for 'sleeping' then yeah, that's exactly
right.
Regulus looks at me and snaps,
"Shut it."
I glare at him mutiniously.
"I didn't sayanything!"
Regulus glares back at me.
"You were thinkingit."
He is so unbelievable sometimes. I want to just...just...smoosh his face!
"I was thinking what? That you're insane? Yeah, ok, you caught me Professor
Pain In My Arse Black."
I hear Sam 'whisper' again to Webster "Does he always talk like that to his
Dad?" and Webster replies "Yeah. They have a very unique relationship. Their
communication skills are epic."
A moment later Harry arrives with Sirius in tow, Astoria and Max bringing up
the rear. The four them crash into the rest of us, and we all struggle to stay
upright.
Sirius doesn't look much better than Regulus, but at least he didn't have to be
literally dragged all the way here. He is wearing a dressing gown though, and
his hair is similarly fraked up.
Harry locks eyes with me and flashes a frustrated smile. I give him an equally
strained smile right back. Clearly Harry had problems 'convincing' his Black
sibling to get moving as well. We share a look of understanding that makes me
feel a bit better and less likely to kill off Regulus for the good of society.
I'd probably get an Order of Merlin out it.
Sirius and Regulus take one look at each other and shout at the same time,
"You're late, Black. Detention!"
And then they both fall about laughing. Because they suck.
Harry and I exchange another eye roll. Because this is our life.
===============================================================================
 
"Dray, staring at the goblet of harmony like you want to lick it won't stop my
brother from entering the tournament." Kasper says, sounding amused and a bit
worried for my sanity, as per usual.
Kasper and I are sitting side by side on a bench in the great hall. For the
last hour we've been watching people put their names in the goblet of harmony.
Each time a student puts their name in the goblet, flames erupt from it. I keep
waiting for someone's hair to catch on fire.
"I am not staring at the goblet like I want to lick it, you lunatic." I say
distractedly, my focus still fully on the goblet.
"You are." Kasper says. "I know your licking face."
"Stop being weird." I shove his arm.
Kasper just grins at me. But his expression is dead serious when he says,
"Youstop being weird. If my brother wants to enter the tournament to please our
father then there's nothing you can do to stop him. You know how Ced gets when
he's trying to live up to Dad's crazy-impossible standards."
Unfortunately I do know. Ever since their mother died, Cedric has done
everything his father has wanted him to do. He's Captain of the Hufflepuff
Quidditch team. He gets straight O's in all of his subjects. He's Hufflepuff's
Head boy. He took that internship with the Ministry that I know for a fact
Cedric never had any interest in. Cedric is the perfect son in every way, and
the effort it takes to keep that up breaks him down more and more every year.
I've spoken to Cedric about it numerous times and there are moments when I can
see just how hard it is for him. He wants to make his father happy and seems
willing to kill himself to accomplish that goal. Cedric once told me that he
sometimes resents his mother for dying. For leaving them with a father who
doesn't know how to be a father unless he's acting like a life coach. And then
he feels guilty for being angry at his mother, who he loved so much and misses
desperately.
I told Cedric that I sometimes resent my own parents for dying. For putting
their lives at risk, even though I know they only did it to protect me. Having
a dead parent makes you feel things you wish you didn't. It's not as simple as
loving them or being sad that they're gone. There's so much more to it than
that. I'm not sure if anyone who hasn't experienced that loss can understand
what it's like to feel angry and devistated and happy all at the same time over
a memory.
"I have a really bad feeling about this tournament thing, Kas." I say, my voice
low and urgent. "I know that sounds like bullshit, but I swear, the wrongness
of it goes right down to my bones."
Kasper looks at me then, and I see that his eyes have gone flinty in response
to my very real fears. He believes me though. No matter what, Kasper will
always trust my word and have my back.
He has proven over and over again that he's more than my best friend.
Truthfully, Kasper is my brother in everything except blood.
"Then you should tell my stupid brother that." Kasper says. He watches me
steadily. "Ced listens to you more than anyone else."
I screw my nose up at that.
"No he doesn't."
Kasper scoffs and laughs a little dryly. He fixes me with a wane smile.
"Dray, knock it off. I don't usually get involved in whatever weirdness goes on
between you and my brother, because it ain't my business, yeah? But believe me
when I say that Ced takes you seriously. Maybe even more seriously than Dad."
I want to dismiss all of that. There's no weirdness between me and Cedric.
Cedric cares about me the same way he cares about Kasper. We're family, yeah,
of course, but that's all it is. I mean, sometimes he and I talk about things.
Like nightmares. And the grief we feel over our parents. And all of the things
we want from life that seem too far away to ever become a reality. Stuff like
that. Normal friend stuff.
I don't think of Cedric as a brother though. Not like I do Kasper, or even
Terry. It's kind of hard to look at someone and think 'brother' when you've had
wet dreams about them. When I was younger I had a massive crush on Cedric. To
be honest I think I always had a thing for him, even before I knew I was gay. I
looked up to Cedric. I wanted him to like me. I wanted him to think I was cool.
Or at least I wanted him to not think I was a total freak.
But Cedric is my friend. He's protective towards me, I know that much. He and I
are family, even if we aren't exactly brothers. We're family.
"I'll talk to him." I tell Kasper.
"Good." Kasper says with a satisfied nod. "Nag him something fierce. He'll like
that."
I don't think that will help at all, because one thing Kasper and Cedric have
in common is how stubborn they can be when they've decided something. They get
that from their Dad. They get their bravery from their mum though. Kasper's
mother was larger than life. Courageous. Strong. Katya Diggory is a legend in
the Auror ranks.
I remember how she used to come home from work with new scrapes and scars as
visible evidence of the dedication she had to her job. She worked tirelessly to
protect our world from dark magic and the people who used it to hurt others.
Every time I saw Katya she had another story to tell, another adventure to
scare us with. She was the complete opposite to her husband in some ways.
Especially when it came to raising her boys.
Katya was a Pureblood witch, but she had no sense of propriety or social
status. She loved Nana Mars and they used to spend hours drinking and cooking
and laughing in Nana Mars' kitchen.
I remember one Christmas when we all got together on Christmas day and it was,
predictably, mad...
~flashback~
"Ok, this year I think we should try something new." Katya says, her full lips
spread wide in a slightly worrying grin.
We're all sat around the dinner table. It's Christmas day and there's a massive
catfish in the middle of the table that no one wants to be the first to try.
I'm pretty sure the catfish is staring at me, blaming me completely for either
of us being here today. But Nana Mars insisted that we have catfish-turkey and
no one was brave enough to argue with her. Well, Amos tried, but he got whacked
over the head with a spoon and promptly shut up about it.
I narrow my eyes at the catfish. It knows I'm thinking about it. It knows that
I don't want to eat it. Terry has already poked one of its still alive-looking
eyes three times, exclaiming gleefully all the while about the squishness of
the catfish eye. Fiona has told him off every single time, threatening to take
the nerf crossbow he had gotten for Christmas and mail it back to the North
pole with a note telling Santa to never bring Terry any presents ever again.
"I'll hunt Santa down and force him to give me my crossbow back." Terry says
confidently in response to his mothers' threat.
"You won't be able to find him. He's invisible." Fiona responded without
missing a beat.
"Then I'll kidnap one of his elves and hold that elf hostage until Santa
returns my nerf crossbow." Terry countered.
"Terry!" Fiona shouts. She whacks her husbands' arm. "Help me here." She hisses
at him.
Quinton waggles his finger at Terry and says,
"Don't be silly, son. You'd never be able to capture an elf. They are
exceptionally powerful. That's why Santa has so many. You'd be better off
taking one of the reindeer hostage."
Fiona aims a slight glare at Quinton, who seems oblivious to the trouble he's
now in.
"I heard about this thing." Katya goes on excitedly. "Some muggles were
discussing it when I walked by them the other day. Apparently, sometimes, when
muggles sit down for special meals, before eating, each person says what
they're most thankful for. I think we should do that."
"Ah, yes." Jian says, looking immensely pleased. "I've heard of that tradition
before."
"It sounds interesting." Mai says, giving her husband an indulgent pat on his
arm.
"Alright then." Katya claps her hands together. "Lets try it. Who wants to go
first?"
Nana Mars shoots her hand up instantly and waves it around a bit.
"Oh, I will." She gets a thoughtful look on her face and says, "Hmmm, well, I
think I'm most thankful for the new salesboy at the veg shop. He is drop
deadgorgeous. Why, if I was forty years younger, I would have already taken
that slice of heaven into the storage room of the veg shop and rocked his
carrot filled world." She sighs dreamily and points at Regulus. "You go next
Reggy."
We all gape at her. Apart from Katya who begins laughing hysterically. I'm
pretty sure she planned for this exact thing to happen.
Nana Mars points a bit more aggressively at Regulus.
"Reggy, the people are waiting for you to say what you're thankful for. Stop
being difficult. You're ruining Christmas."
Regulus clears his throat and does as he's told.
"Um, I'm thankful for...uh..."
"I believe Regulus is also thankful for the new salesboy at the veg shop."
Katya says, having finally stopped honking with laughter. She waggles her
eyebrows suggestively at Regulus. "If the tales I've heard are correct then
you've already rocked his carrot filled world."
Regulus sputters indignantly.
"I did...I do not...you can't...I've been...who told you?" Regulus hisses the
last part across the table. "Was it that bint Cathy? I knew she was watching me
from behind that bloody post box. 'I accidentally posted one of my earrings' my
arse."
"You had it off with Alfie?" Fiona exclaims, staring open mouthed at Regulus.
"You know the new hunky veg boy's name?" Quinton looks and sounds highly
scandalised.
"Did you just say the word 'hunky'?" Regulus practically shrieks at Quinton.
Quinton shrugs.
"I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to recognise the hunkiness of other
men." He says simply.
"Me too." Jian says, nodding. "Is Alfie the boy with the eyes and the face and
theabs?"
"YES!" Quinton says enthusiastically. "He's the one who wears those leather
trousers and has the tattoo on his neck and rides around on that motorcycle.
Very hot, objectively speaking."
"Good for you, Regulus." Jian says, flashing Regulus a thumbs up. "He's a
pretty one."
Mai and Fiona share a look and an eye roll at their husbands' show of platonic
gayness.
"Ok, who wants to say what they're thankful for next?" Regulus tries to move
the conversation on, his cheeks are red with embarrassment.
Surprisingly, it's Cedric who picks up the baton. He raises his hand and says,
"I'm grateful that I'm home for Christmas break."
Cedric is in his first year at Hogwarts. I try to hide my frown. Thinking about
Cedric having to back to school after Christmas makes my tummy feel tight and
painful.
Kasper, never to be outdone by his brother, raises his own hand and says,
"I'm thankful for the badass cape that Nana Mars knitted for me."
Nana Mars beams at Kasper.
"You're very welcome Kassy."
At the same time Amos scolds,
"Kasper, do not say 'badass'."
Kasper narrows his eyes and argues,
"Why not? You just said it. Why can't I say it if you can?"
"I was only saying it to make a point." Amos huffs, clearly irritated.
Kasper gets that really stubborn expression on his face that means a fight is
most likely pending.
"It's just a word, Dad."
Amos' expression morphs into something very similar to his sons',
"It's a rude word that we don't need to hear at the dinner table."
"This isn't a Ministry party, Dad." Kasper snaps. "No one in our family cares
if I say 'badass'."
Amos' chest puffs up angrily.
"Regardless, Kasper, I'm telling you not to use such language and I expect you
to obey me."
Kasper grits his teeth. Then he opens his mouth and shouts,
"BADASS. BADASS. BADASS. See, there, I said it again and nobody died."
Amos and Kasper glare at each other from opposite sides of the table. Me and
the rest of the lunatics watch them, waiting for the next explosion.
Katya intervenes, as she often does, and places a hand on Amos' arm.
"Amos, dear, lets not argue at Christmas."
Amos softens immediately under his wife's touch and he stops giving his son the
evil eye.
Katya then turns to spear her youngest son with a reprimanding look,
"And you, young man, don't pick fights with your father. Apologise please."
Kasper would probably rather stab himself in the eye with a fork than do any
such thing, but because it's his mother he says quietly,
"Sorry, Dad."
Jian breaks the silence that follows by saying,
"I'm thankful for my wife, who I love very much."
Mai smiles warmly at Jian and says,
"I'm very thankful for my husband as well."
Quinton kind of ruins the nice moment by saying,
"I'm thankful for cheesy wotsits. I love those pieces of gross orange heaven."
"I'm thankful for my new washing machine." Fiona says happily.
"It has about a thousand buttons on it though." Quinton says, screwing up his
nose a bit. "Damn thing looks like a spaceship consol."
Amos takes his turn next.
"I'm thankful that Cedric got into Hufflepuff." He grins at his oldest child.
"He'll be headboy in no time. I'm so proud of you, son."
Cedric looks momentarily uncomfortable. He hides it a second later though and
smiles gratefully at his father. Kasper makes an exaggerated gagging face at
me, and I force myself not to laugh.
Before Amos and Kasper can get into another fight, I raise my hand and say,
"I'm grateful that I'm part of our-
Terry cuts me off by screaming,
"Look! The big, ugly, fishy is trying to eat my hand! Ah ah ah ah!"
He's stuck his entire arm in the catfish's mouth.
Kasper grabs hold of Terry and tries to 'save' him. Kasper looks at me mock
pleadingly,
"Draco, help me, the fishcat is gonna naw Terry's arm off!"
I dutifully climb onto the table and wrap my arms around the catfish. I yank on
it, pulling the catfish off of Terry's arm with more force than was strictly
necessary. The catfish slips out of my hands and flies across the table to
smack Amos in the face. I almost roll right off the table, but Cedric catches
me. Terry and Kasper fall off their chairs and land in a heap on the floor.
Fiona starts furiously shouting at Terry about being on the naughty list for
the rest of his life. Quinton takes advantage of everyone being distracted to
grab a roast potato and stuff it into his mouth. Jian and Mai both gasp, which
is about as emotional as they ever get. Regulus chokes on oxygen once again.
Nana Mars falls about cackling jovially. Amos screams like a little girl and
falls out of his chair as well.
Meanwhile Cho is busy ignoring all of us and reading a book. She looks up
briefly, rolls her eyes, and then goes back to reading 'A Christmas Carol'.
Katya raises her water glass and smiles broadly at all of us. She says,
"I'm grateful that all of you weirdoes are in my life. Merry Christmas
everyone."
~flashback~
That memory pushes me to ask Kasper,
"Hey, how are things with your Dad?"
Kasper's expression turns grim and he sighs.
"Pretty much the same as always. Dad loves Cedric. He tolerates me. Which makes
sense because Cedric actually tries and I kind of, well, don't. Like, at all."
"He loves you, Kas. I know he doesn't show it in the best way sometimes, but he
does love you." I say, resisting the urge to pull Kasper into a cuddle. Mostly
because some people at Hogwarts are idiots and think two boys touching each
other automatically means that they're boning. And even though Kasper couldn't
give less of shit if other people think he's gay, I don't like putting him in a
position where he has to deal with their crap.
Kasper huffs out a breathe and looks straight ahead, his mouth pulled tight.
"Yeah. Maybe. I'm just so tired of arguing with him, Dray. Sometimes even
thinking about Dad makes me tired, because I know that no matter what either of
us says, we're gonna end up fighting."
"He might not know any other way to talk to you." I say.
"Probably. I don't know any other way to talk to him either." Kasper laughs
without humour. It's a dry, cracked sound, and it makes me sad because Kasper
so very rarely lets stuff like this get to him.
"Things could still change, Kas." I say. "He could. You could. Hell, maybe
Cedric will surprise you one day and he'll run off to America and become a
surfer or something. Your Dad would hate that."
"Oh yeah he would. But nah, I'll always be the black sheep of the Diggory
family." Kasper says, smiling just a little. "And I'm ok with that. I'm built
for it." Kasper's smile becomes a bit evil. "Although it's possible that Cedric
could end up with Chadwick, which would be hilarious."
"They're pretty well suited I guess." I say non-commitally.
Kasper arches an eyebrow at me like he thinks I've lost all my marbles.
"Dray, what the hell are you talking about? My brother and Chadwick are so not
'suited' for each other. Chadwick is a high maintenance butthead. Ced would
probably end up murdering him within the first six months if they ever lived
together full time."
I scowl at Kasper.
"But they're obviously into one another. Chadwick comes onto Cedric all the
time and Cedric doesn't exactly fight him off."
"Yeah, so?" Kasper scoffs. "Just because you're attracted to someone doesn't
mean you wanna be their God damn life partner or whatever."
"Why would you be attracted to someone you don't even like? That's just
stupid." I say.
Kasper rolls his eyes.
"You can't control who you're attracted to Dray. I'm pretty sure you know that
because if you could control it then you probably wouldn't still be pining
after Harry."
"Harry who?" I ask, feigning innocence.
"You are so full of shit." Kasper proclaims. Then he laughs, and it sounds at
least halfway genuine this time. Abruptly he stops laughing and coughs. He
still looks amused though. "Speak of the devil..." He murmurs, his eye darting
over to the entrance of the hall.
A zap of awareness straightens my spine and I see that Harry has just walked
into the hall. Alone. He's without his Slytherin shadows for once. He's also
not got a girlfriend on his arm either.
Harry spots us, smiles a tentative little smile and starts making his way over.
I internally begin to panic. Kasper, because he's an arsehole, claps me on the
back and says,
"Hey, I said I'd meet Hermione out in the courtyard. You stay here and play
nicely with Harry, ok?"
Kasper gets up and saunters off before I can make any kind of argument. He
passes Harry on the way out and they share one of those weird boy nods of
acknowledgement that I've never been able to pull off. I curse Kasper
extensively inside my head for abandoning me here alone with Harry.
Granted we aren't actually alone because the hall is full of other people
scattered all over the place. But, meh, semantics.
Harry sits down next to me on the bench. Not too close, but close enough for it
to mean something. What that something actuallyis, I have absolutely no clue,
because Harry is confusing as fuck with his mixed signals.
I turn to look at him and say,
"Hi."
Because I am a social God damn moth, hear me flap.
Harry smiles though, like I've said the right thing. Because he's fucking odd.
"Hey Drake."
And then we just stare at each other. Because that is our thing.
"So, um," Harry starts. He looks nervous, and I have no idea why. It makes me
nervous. He goes on, "I was just wondering if-"
I interrupt him to ask,
"Do you want to be my life partner, or do you just want me to give you a blow
job?"
I blame Kasper for this. I hope Hermione kills him.
I hope someone kills me.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Chapter End Notes
     THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE FOR READING! Xxx
***** The Gay Is Among Us *****
Chapter Summary
     Harry and Draco admit some stuff about feelings and crap.
     Cedric is a twatwaffle.
     And Draco's friends make plans to spy on someone.
Chapter Notes
     I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING CREATED BY JK ROWLING. But in
     an alternative universe I do, so that's something. I think that
     alternative universe is right next to the one where I'm the King of
     the mouse people and wear nothing but capes all the time.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Harry gapes at me like a slightly befuddled fish.
I will myself to disappear.
There is a long, long, fuckinglong, pause filled with nothing but toe curlingly
uncomfortable silence.
Harry is the first one to break it.
"Do I...what?"
I only have three options here, and they are to one, stun Harry and run away.
Two, kill him. And then everyone else in the hall so that no one could tattle
on me for my totally justifiable murder of Harry Potter.
Or three, and this one is the most insane so bear with me, I could be...honest?
As honest as I can be given the circumstances anyway. I could tell him that I
fancy the pants off him and that he's been giving me some very not-subtle
signals that he feels the same way. Harry would probably get pissed off if he's
not ok with the whole 'gay' aspect. Although it is also possible that he'll
pretend like he has no idea what I'm talking about and I'll end up feeling like
a prat for calling the elephant in the room out on being fat.
Really, the choice is obvious, there really is only one way of getting out of
this with my dignity intact. I'm not sure if I actually have any dignity. But
if I do then I want to keep it safely attached to my being without too much
hassle.
I take a deep breathe, force myself to look Harry in those stupidly green eyes
of his, and speak.
"Well, see, the thing is, when we first met at the Quidditch camping
extravoganza, I thought maybe you and I had a...connection. Which I know sounds
crap, like this is a Young Adult novel or some shit. I mean, if this was a YA
novel then you would be a brooding vampire/angel/werewolf/whatever other
mystical creature YA wants to ruin next by making them sparkle or something
equally horrific, and I would be the whiny teenage girl with no personality who
somehow always manages to get kidnapped or almost killed at exactly the wrong/
right time. And you just know that I'd be protrayed as agirl because mainstream
still can't quite handle the gay. As the broody blah blah whatever you would
naturally fall in love with me and do really creepy borderline abusive things
to get me to fall in love with you too. Which would obviously work because YA
protragonists are made up of 90% idiot." I take another breathe before waving a
hand in Harry's face and continuing to puke words.
"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I kind of think you're beautiful. Like,
a lot. Very beautiful. Not, like, I think you look like a girl. Girls and boys
can both be beautiful. Would hot be a better word? Webster calls people hot,
but that sounds too American for me to be able to say it with the appropriate
amount of swagger. I also don't think I can pull off 'swagger' to be honest,
but that was the first word that came into my head because Regulus keeps making
me watch American reality tv show like 'Dance Moms' with him, which is a
genunely frightening show by the way. Don't let him rope you into watching it
because it will scar your soul. How about 'fit'? That doesn't sound too bad.
Right? Right. Good. So, yeah, I fancy you. And I thought maybe you fancied me
too. But you have a girlfriend, which is...confusing, because you
keep...lookingat me and stuff. Basically I just really need to know if you're,
like, bisexual and think I'm attractive and that's why you act the way you do,
or if you actually do like me like like me like me. If you could just tell me
that, then I'd very much appreciate it, sir. Um, Harry."
'Likeme like me'? Jesus fucking christ, I'm eleven years old now. Great. I have
never been so mortified by my inability to talk like a normal human being.
Harry probably thinks I'm a complete freak. And if he doesn't then heshould
because I am.
Throughout my entire speech of ridiculousness, Harry's expression has remained
the same. Shocked, with a little bit of dazed added into the mix. Now that I've
finally shut up however, Harry looks...sad? What? Does he feel sorry for me or
something? Because that would be even worse than if he was angry.
Harry looks down and then back up again to meet my eyes. His mouth and eyebrows
are drawn into an upset frown. Harry's entire demeanor has changed. He looks
suddenly very frustrated, like he wants to say something but is holding himself
back for whatever reason. I wish he'd just spit it out so I can stop feeling
like I'm about to be sick all over my school robes.
"I'm sorry." Harry says finally. His voice is low and full of regret. He rushes
to explain before I can start blathering nonsense again, "I have
been...lookingat you. And stuff. So. Its not just you. And I do like you. I
like you a lot actually."
Wha...?
My ability to think has officially shut down.
"You...like me?" I whisper in disbelief. Look, I'm not a complete downer on
myself, I know I'm not terrible to be around or whatever, but Harry is...he's
Harry freakin' Potter. I don't know how else to explain it. There's just
something about him that is undeniably incredible.
Never mind the fact that he took on Voldemort when he was eleven, faught a
basalisk when he was twelve, and last year he survived the attack of an army of
Dementors and a fully changed werewolf pretty much solo. All of that is
impressive, obviously, but that isn't what makes Harry so unlike anyone else
I've ever met.
Harry is brave and fierce and he has those eyes that always seem to see too
much of me.But he's also kind and gentle and, I think, more than a little bit
broken. He's been through things that I can only imagine and I can see the
fight still going strong inside him.
I didn't know it was possible to feel like you've known someone your whole life
even though you've actually only just met. I thought that was a thing people
say in books, not a real, tangible, feeling.
Harry smiles at me and nods without any hesitation.
"I really, really, do, Drake. You're completely mad. And loud. And weird. And
funny. And clever. And so pretty that every time I see you I think you can't
possibly be a real person."
I just about choke on my own spit. Holy crap. How can he just say those words?
"Well, that's...good." I manage to get out semi-normally. But then the rusty
cogs in my brain start working again and I can't keep the frown off my face.
"Is it good though? That you like me. Because you, um, have a girlfriend and
stuff and she's really cool."
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!
Harry winces and looks down at his hands.
"It's complicated."
My frown turns into a confused stare.
"What's complicated? Astrid is your girlfriend, right?"
"No." Harry blurts out, his eyes darting up to meet mine again. He cringes. "I
mean, yes. And no. Like I said, it's complicated. There's stuff going on that
you don't know."
"Stuff? What stuff?" I ask, feeling even more thrown of balance now. I expected
Harry to tell me that he likes both me and Astrid, which would make sense. You
can like more than one person at the same time, despite the rubbish we're
taught by romance novels and films.
"I can't tell you." Harry says, and he sighs in frustration. "It's a secret."
"A secret." I repeat more slowly. "O-kay."
"I can't tell you because it's not my secret." Harry explains, looking
desperate for me to understand somehow even though he isn't giving me much to
work with.
If the secret isn't Harry's, then it has to be Astrid's. But what the hell kind
of secret could it be?
Either way, Harry's made it pretty clear that he won't be enlightening me any
time soon, which is fair enough. I don't have the right to demand answers from
Harry. Whatever 'sort of'-'kind of' relationship he has with Astrid isn't any
of my business. It's just kind of shit that I want Harry to be my business.
Harry and I stare at each other in an awkward silence so epic that it defies
reality. Seriously, holy shit, the awkwardness of this moment is going to give
me literal nightmares. Forget scary dreams about Voldemort killing people,
having Harry sitting there scowling like he can't decide whether he wants to
disapear or touch me, is what will keep me from being able to sleep.
"I'm sorry." I say finally, unable to handle any more teenage boy angst
threatening to choke me into submission.
Harry's frustrated scowl turns into a frown of confusion.
"Why are you sorry? I'm the one who's been messing you around."
I roll my eyes at that and shove his shoulder. The contact sends a shot of fire
up my arm and I resolve never to do that again for as long as I live because
gah. Feelings. Feelings are hard.
"Don't be so dramatic." I say, forcing lightness into my voice. "We're friends,
right?"
"Right." Harry says instantly, but he still looks confused.
I feel a little ache in my chest begin to grow in reaction to the lost
expression Harry's face. He's just so...gugh. I want to take all of Harry's
pain away somehow. I want to replace it with something good and bright and
gentle. I want to find every single person who has ever made Harry feel unsure
of himself and curse them. Or get Nana Mars to curse them properly with 'real'
magic. Or have Kasper and Terry kick their arse. Or unleash the mighty
whinginess of Regulus upon them.
Alright, that last one might be taking it a bit too far, I'm not a monster.
"We are friends." I say fiercely. "And I made shit weird by poking the bear
with a pointy stick."
Harry arches an eyebrow at me and asks,
"Is the bear you poked a metaphor for the fact that we fancy each other? Like,
a lot."
"What, no good?" I say. "Should I have made it a metaphorical Unicorn instead?
You know, because of all the gay involved."
Harry snorts out a laugh, his confusion and sadness fading away and being
replaced by obvious amusement.
"Nah, trust me on this, it's never a good idea to poke a Unicorn. They know how
to enforce some serious vengeance."
"Well they do basically have a sword on their face." I muse agreeably.
Harry tilts his head thoughtfully.
"If you were going for the gay factor you should have said that you poked the
glaringly obvious rainbow."
I let out my own unattractive snort.
"Nah, metaphorical rainbows are the exclusive property of coming out stories."
"Coming out stories? Like how you anounced to people that you're gay and
stuff?" Harry asks curiously.
I have no idea what the 'and stuff' part of that is supposed to mean. And I'm
not sure I want to know either.
"Some people 'anounce' it, yeah, I guess. But coming out for me was just
telling my entire family what they already knew. Like people who make official
statements in a newspaper to confirm information."
Harry's eyes widen almost comically.
"You made a statement in a newspaper about being gay?"
"No!" I squeak, and then I realise that's kind of a lie. "Well, ok, not
technically. I meant the newspaper thing as an example, but, um...my town is
weird. And really small. And the people there are mostly gossiping hags..."
Harry nods, encouraging for me to continue. He looks far too happy about where
this is going.
I make a grumpy sound, but keep talking.
"We have a newspaper in our town called the 'The Shell Report'."
"This already sounds brilliant." Harry says, appearing genunely enthralled,
damn him.
I cross my arms over my chest defensively and explain with as few words as
possible, for me at least, what went down after I came out to Regulus and Nana
Mars and all the rest of the weirdoes who make up my family.
"Our town doesn't get much news. Like, seriously, the biggest story we had last
year was when Miss Cohen painted her house with glow in the dark pink paint and
her neighbour Mrs Rawbone started a protest about it that ended with half of
Colbie marching around outside Miss Cohen's house with, I kid you not,
pitchforks and torches. Literally. Pitchforkes. And. Torches. Mrs Cohen climbed
up onto her roof with her pet budgie and handcuffed herself to the gutters. She
kept shouting 'Sod off, you bloody colour Nazi's'."
Harry is snickering now and not even bothering to hide it.
I don't know what he finds so funny. It was a nightmare to get to school since
Miss Cohen's house is right across the road from my old secondary school.
Regulus made me wear a crash helmet so I wouldn't get a head injury whilst
pushing through the crowd of lunatics gathered in front of Miss Cohen's glowing
pink house.
Nana Mars actually joined the protest at one point, because, and I quote, 'I
heard there was going to be cake, and only vegan hippies and losers turn down
free cake'. I'm not sure what hippies had to do with anything, but I wasn't
about to argue with her.
I did argue, however, when it turned out that there wasn't any cake, free or
otherwise, and Nana Mars launched another protest within the original protest
about the lack of promised cake. Regulus and I had to physically stop Nana Mars
from bludgening Mrs Rawbone to death with her high heeled slipper when Mrs
Rawbone admitted to making up the cake thing to draw in more people.
I am notgoing into the whole high heeled slipperthing, so you can all just let
that one go. For now.
I ignore Harry's mirth and continue on with my story of madness.
"Anyway, so, because the people of Colbie are absolute weirdoes of the highest
order and because nothing important ever happens there to write proper news
stories about, me being 'officially gay' was apparently news worthy."
I tell Harry about how Nana Mars' friend, Cooper Smith, and yeah the fact that
he's friends with Nana Mars should already tell you far too much about his
state of mind, is the owner and editor of 'The Shell Report'. When Cooper heard
about me coming out, he insisted on doing a story about it. I, stupidly, agreed
because Cooper offered me fifty pounds and told me the story would just be a
paragraph or two in the back of the newspaper.
What the story actually ended up being was a front page spread complete with a
massive picture of me. The story's headline, printed in bold and somehow
infused with glitter, was 'The Gay Is Among Us'.
"They didn't even use a good picture of me." I complain to Harry, who is by now
laughing so hard that he has tears in his eyes. I huff at him. "It was a photo
from primary school. They took the photo mid-sneeze. Plus, Terry was making
funny faces at me the whole time because he's a complete tosser,so I kept
laughing. I look like an albino rat who'd just been electrocuted in that
picture. And I know it was Regulus who gave Cooper that bloody photo of me
because it's the only school photo Regulus ever bought numerous copies of. He
even had one made into a keychain that he stilluses."
Harry chokes on another bout of laughter and almost falls off the bench we're
sitting on. I catch him at the last second and yank him back up. He stops
laughing abruptly when we both lose our balance and I end up, somehow, sitting
in his lap. I mean, come on universe, what the hell.
Harry has to grab hold of my waist with one hand to stop us from falling in a
heap on the floor. His other hand goes instinctively to press against the small
of my back.
I am unable to contain a gasp of shock when a mixture of heat and awareness
attacks every single nerve ending in my body. I grasp hold of Harry's shoulder,
my hand fisting his white school shirt. Harry makes a sound that isn't loud
enough to be a groan, or deep enough to be considered a growl. The sound he
makes hangs somewhere between the two, and it causes a noticeable shiver to
race up and down my spine.
Our eyes lock, and for a second I don't even care that we're in a public place
where anyone could see us. Which is beyond stupid.
We are partially hidden from the other students currently in the great hall by
a stack of benches, and no one appears to be giving a shit about us at the
moment. But that could change very quickly, especially if one of my friends
comes in. It'd be just like when I risked my life to save Harry's during the
welcoming banquet all over again.
"You're sitting on me." Harry says. Because yeah. That is what's happening.
"Gold star for top notch observation skills, Potter." I say wryly, even though,
inwardly, I'm losing my shit. Like there are little people running around
inside my head setting things on fire and screaming.
"I don't think normal people do this." Harry says.
"I don't think normal people even think that this is a thing that could happen
to them." I say.
"You're heavier than I thought you'd be." Harry says, his brows creasing
together into another frown.
Ok, well, there are so many things about what he just said that I want to ask
about. Mainly that he's thought about holding me or picking me up before,
because what? Who does that?
"I'll be honest, of all the insults I've had thrown at me, being called fat is
defintely a new one." I say.
Harry squeezes my waist and arches an eyebrow that clearly means 'don't even
start'.
"Drake, you're not fat. You're...uh...willowy. I just meant that you look
really light and delicate. In a nice way, though." Harry hastens to add the
last part, his face flushing with embarassment.
Good.
We should both feel equally as mortifed by this. That's the only way to make it
fair. It's the only thing that will stop me from feeling crazy for fancying
Harry. I can't decide if it's better or worse that Harry likes me too.
I try to get up off of Harry's lap, but he tightens his hold on me, keeping me
in place. He waits for me to look at him properly before saying,
"I really am sorry, Drake. I swear I'll stop being a prat about all this. I
want us to be mates, yeah?"
I pull away from Harry again, and this time he lets me go without a fight. He
doesn't look happy about it though.
"We are mates, Harry." I say.
I shove my hands into my trouser pockets to stop myself from reaching for him.
He's just so bloody touchable with his tragically messy hair and deep green
eyes and broad Qudditch player shoulders and that sweet mouth of his that does
all kinds of things to my insides.
"But, like, we need to stop pretending that that's all there is between us, you
know?" I say firmly.
"Yeah, I do know." Harry admits with a heavy sigh.
It shouldn't feel this awful to not be near him. We barely know each other. How
is it possible that I can want someone I don't even really know this badly?
It's completely mental. Unreal. Stupid. The kind of thing that only happens in
fiction. I can't feel like this. I won't let myself.
Harry is watching, his eyes sad and pleading with me to...what? I don't even
know.
I'm about to say something else, probably something ridiculous, but I'm
distracted when I hear Cedric's voice.
"Wicks, shut up, I'm doing it alright?"
I turn around and almost choke on oxygen when I see Cedric put his name into
the Harmony Goblet.
I'm moving across the hall before my brain can even fully process what I've
just seen. I go right up to Cedric and shove his arm. Hard. So hard in fact
that if he wasn't so athletically built he probably would have fallen over.
Cedric rights himself far too easily and gives me a shocked look. Anger and
confusion goes to war on his face.
"Dray, what the hell?"
Isaiah and Chadwick are both staring at me as well. Isaiah appears stunned, but
Chadwick's expression is knowing. No doubt he figured I would react this way,
the smug son of a bitch. My reaction was probably part of the reason why he
pushed Cedric into entering this blasted tournament bullsit. He never could
resist setting up some good drama.
Well, he's about to get one hell of a show, because I can't remember the last
time I felt this pissed off and upset.
"Are you a complete moron?" I snap at Cedric, not bothering to lower my voice.
I'm too furious to care what other people think right now.
"What?" Cedric snaps back, never one to shy away from a fight. Kasper and
Cedric definitely have that in common.
"You know what, Cedric." I snarl. "Entering that stupid tournament."
"You're over-reacting, Dray." Cedric says, his expression softening. Also like
Kasper, Cedric's anger fades away very quickly. "I'll be fine. Nothing bad will
happen to me."
"Oh, right. Nothing bad will happen." I say sarcastically. "Because people have
only died during this tournament before."
"I'm not going to die, Dray." Cedric says heatedly.
"You don't know that." I say, shaking my head rapidly. "What if they make you
do something really dangerous? What if you can't fight what they ask you to
fight? What if shit goes wrong and you get hurt?"
Pure terror hardens my heart, making it feel like a cold rock inside my chest.
Cedric reaches out a hand to touch me, but I jerk away from him. His eyes flash
with hurt and I can see the regret taking hold of him already.
How could he do this? He knows how afraid I am of losing the people I care
about. I know that he's afraid of losing people too. We've talked about it
before. Cedric said he understood.
He said he would never hurt me. He promised.
I can only think of one reason why he would go back on that promise. One reason
why he would risk his life. His father. The person who's approval Cedric craves
more than anyone else's. Even mine. Kasper was wrong. I'll never be as
important to Cedric as his father. And I don't even blame Cedric for that. My
father isn't alive for me to disappoint him, so I can't understand the
pressure.
I have Regulus and Nana Mars, two people who I want to make proud. I don't
think it's the same thing though. Regulus and Nana Mars raised me, they taught
me how to be a person, and I wouldn't trade them for anyone else. But they
aren't my parents. I never really knew my parents. The Malfoy's. I don't know
what kind of behaviour they would have expected from me. I don't know who they
would have wanted me to be. If I'd been raised by Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy,
maybe I'd have grown into a very different person than who I am now.
"What did he say to you?" I ask Cedric quietly. My anger and fear transforming
into resignation.
Cedric flinches. He knows that I've figured it out. The regret in his eyes
becomes shame, which causes the last of my anger to filter away. The fear,
however, remains.
"He didn'tneed to say anything." Cedric tells me. He looks sad. Sad in ways a
seventeen year old boy shouldn't even be able to comprehend, let alone actually
feel.
I see the same sadness inside of Harry. And Regulus. It's the kind of feeling
that's born from turmoil so great and inconceivable that there are no words to
adequately describe it anywhere but inside your own head.
"But he did tell you to enter?" I prod, trying to keep my expression impassive.
I don't think I quite manage it.
"No." Cedric says. He clenches and tics with barely retrained frustration. "He
just assumed that I would."
"And you didn't correct him." I say, releasing a breathe that sounds harsher
than a sigh.
"I didn't know how to." Cedric admits. He's disappointed in himself. Furious
with himself even. I can hear it in his voice. He looks directly at me then,
and for a moment it feels like I've locked eyes with a stranger. I've never
seen Cedric look this bitter before. "I've let you down." He says so quietly
that I almost don't catch it.
"Yeah. Well." I say, forcing myself to hide how afraid I really am at the idea
of Cedric purposely putting himself in harms way. I fix a smile on my face that
feels impossibly fake and try to cover my disquiet by backing away whilst
saying weird stuff. "You know what they say, Cedric, if you live by the sword
then...you...uh...eat by the sword...and...sleep by the sword...and...um...dig
a little hole next to the sword so that you can take a shi-"
"Dray, please-" Cedric tries to stop me from pulling away from him, both
mentally and physically, but I can't stand here anymore. It hurts too much. I'm
not brave enough to face this. I'll never be braveenough.
I turn away from Cedric and sprint out of the great hall. I don't look back. It
feels like I'm running away from more than just my fight with Cedric. I'm
running from Harry too. I'm running from the two people in this world who might
have the power to break me.
I don't plan on giving either of them that chance.
...
"I am gonna kick his arse." Kasper announces the second I'm finished telling
him what happened after he left the great hall.
"Whose? Potter's or Cedric's?" Hermione asks, giving Kasper an indulgent smile.
Kasper bares his teeth at her in a wolfish smile of his own. His smile looks
decidedly more frightening.
"Both." He says decisively. "But my brother is getting his arse kicked first
for the unforgivable sin of being a daddy pleasing twatwaffle."
I wish I could find it in myself to laugh, but I feel too shitty. Plus Kasper
would know I was forcing it and that would piss him off even more. He's already
pretty pissed. As my best friend and pseudo brother, Kasper has always taken it
upon himself to protect and defend me. I don't think it's because Kasper sees
me as weaker than him. He just doesn't know how else to fully express how
important I am to him.
Kasper is a fighter. Always has been. Probably always will be. Just like his
mother. In fact it's usually Kasper who worries me more than Cedric. Cedric is
the sensible, stable, dependable Diggory brother. Kasper is more often than not
the unpredictable loose cannon. But I love them both, and I count on them to be
there for me. Just in different ways.
This time though...this time my trust in Cedric has been shaken. I know that's
probably not fair. It's Cedric's life after all, he has the right to do
whatever he wants with it. I can't, and never would, try to force him into
something, or attempt to stop him from doing something that would make him
happy.
Even so, I'm struggling to accept the risk he's taken. Which is dumb. He's
already entered the tournament. There's nothing I can do about that part now.
"Don't start a fight with Cedric over this, Kas." I say tiredly. "What's done
is done."
After I made my dramatic escape from the great hall, I went in search of my
friends. I found Hermione and Kasper first, who were both sitting together down
by the lake. I thought about leaving them alone, since they looked like they
were about two seconds away from snogging each other. But Kasper caught sight
of me before I could make myself scarce and he waved me over.
"Fine." Kasper bites out. "If you don't want to make a thing out of it then I
won't bash my stupid brother's face into a wall. Or curse him." Kasper scowls
and adds, "But he's still a twatwaffle."
I share an amused glance with Hermione.
"I appreciate the restraint, Kas."
"How about that whole thing with Harry?" Hermione asks me. "Are you going to be
ok still being friends with him?" She is clearly trying to steer the topic of
conversation away from Cedric, which I appreciate.
I shrug one shoulder.
"I don't have much choice."
"True." Hermione agrees. "But at least now you know where you both stand."
"Yeah, there is that." I say dispassionately.
Kasper snorts belligerently.
"Fuck that noise." He says. "You two trying to mates will just be awkward."
I frown at him.
"What? You've been going out with Cho on and off for ages, and you two are
still friends."
Kasper throws me a look that borders on incredulous.
"Dray, Cho and I have known each other since we were five years old. There's
way too much history between us just to cut one another out, even if we wanted
to. Plus, we're both friends with you and Terry. And our families are really
close. Cho couldn't escape spending time with me unless she made a break for it
to go live anonymously in Australia and refused to ever come home for any
holidays."
My frown deepens as I consider all of that.
"I never thought about it in that way before. Do you feel...trapped by how
close we all are?" I ask Kasper, concerned that I might have missed something
this important.
Kasper shakes his head.
"Nah, mate. I love our weird, extended, family. It'd drive me mad just having
Cedric and Dad around all the time. But," Kasper hesitates before continuing,
"I think maybe Cho feels like she can't get away from me sometimes. Like, we're
friends, good friends, of course we are after all these years. But having your
ex be part of your family makes things kind of...difficult."
"Do you think that's why you two kept getting back together?" Hermione asks.
"Because it was easier to be together than to be exes who hang out with each
other all the time."
Kasper's eyes widen slightly, as if he had never considered that idea before.
"Possibly." Kasper says. "But I think we're over for good this time. Cho seems
pretty adamant about it, and I..." Kasper trails off to look pointedly at
Hermione. She notices and blushes instantly.
I make a mental note to talk to Cho about all of this later. She's been acting
a bit strangely around Kasper lately and now I think I understand why. If she's
trying to put some real distance between them then it would make sense that she
hasn't been as friendly towards him as she usually is.
I just hope Kasper is right that Cho is as ok about their permanent break up as
he is.
I spend the next however long reading through my notes for Charms and trying to
pretend that I can't see Hermione and Kasper gazing into each others eyes only
a few feet away. When they actually start kissing I slowly inch away from them
like I'm attempting to not set off a bomb in my pants.
Luckily I'm saved from my own awkwardness by Terry, Cho, Micah, Webster and Sam
who all come trailing down from the courtyard to join us next to the lake.
When they get close enough Webster immediately begins catcalling Hermione and
Kasper. Hermione pushes away from Kasper almost violently, looking thoroughly
embarrassed. Kasper just flashes one of his patent 'I don't give a single
solitary fuck' grins and lays down on the grass. Webster follows suit, laying
himself out beside Kasper. The two of them start arguing over if a certain
cloud looks like a duck or a rabbit.
Micah moves to sit down next to Hermione and draws her into a conversation
about this week's Transfiguration homework.
Cho's expression expression visibly tightens when she sees Hermione and Kasper
kissing, but she hides her discontent very quickly. Cho sits down next to me
and Terry drops down on my other side. Sam helps to distract Cho by asking her
questions about something he read in Hogwarts, A History last night. I think
Sam is the only non-Hogwarts student who would ever spend their free time
reading something as tedious as Hogwarts, A History for fun.
"Hey Coco." Terry says, sounding frighteningly congenial. "There's a rumour
going around that you bitch slapped Cedric and then pranced out of the great
hall crying."
I turn to gape at him.
"What?" I screech. "I did not bitch slap Cedric. Or cry. That rumour is total
crap."
Terry nods, like he expected my answer.
"I knew it was bollocks. I heard some Gryffindor buttheads talking about it. I
was buying the story until they said the bit about you prancing. Then I knew it
was rubbish. You're not graceful enough to prance anywhere. And you're
definitely not coordinated enough to run away and cry at the same time without
falling over."
I narrow my eyes at Terry.
"Thanks Boots." I say drolly. "You know me so well."
Terry just grins at me, pretending not to pick up on the sarcasm because he
knows that'll annoy me even more.
I raise my head to focus on him properly.
I have to run a hand through my hair to push back my fringe because I've let it
grow too long. It keeps falling into my eyes. This morning Regulus accused me
of turning into a Indie band hipster reject. Arse. To be fair though, my hair
does look ridiculous when it gets to a certain length. I usually keep it cut
short on the back and sides, but longer at the front. If I let my fringe grow
down to my nose I end up looking like a shetland pony.
"What did happen then?" Terry asks. And this time he looks a bit more serious,
and concerned. Terry's rare show of disquiet gets the attention of my other
friends.
I take a deep breathe and give them all a run down of what happened in the
great hall. By the time I'm finished the story my friends are all staring at me
with a mixture of expressions. Most are sympathetic. Some angry. Sam, however,
looks more curious than anything else. Then again, that seems to be his default
setting.
"What'd you reckon Astrid's secret is?" Terry asks, scowling a bit more
viciously than I would like.
"Whatever it is, it's none of my business." I say firmly. "It's not anyone's
business besides hers and whoever she decides to share it with."
"Is that your not-so-subtle way of telling us we're not allowed to go all
Sherlock on this thing?" Micah asks.
"Yeah." I say. "That's exactly what I'm telling you. I probably shouldn't have
even told you as much as I have. Can we all just agree to let it go?"
There's a lot of grumbling amongst the ranks, but eventually I get nods and
grunts of acknowledgement from everyone.
"Good." I say, satisfied.
A three minute silence and then,
"I bet she's a werewolf." Terry says earnestly.
"Terry!" I scold.
"What would that have to do with Potter being her boyfriend? And she's not
shown any signs of being a werewolf so far anyway." Cho argues.
"To be fair, we haven't exactly been looking for werewolf signs." Micah
ventures.
"We should probably start paying more attention then." Kasper says. "Just to
make sure."
"We could keep a log of our findings and compile evidence." Hermione says,
looking disturbingly serious about it.
"That sounds like a good idea." Sam says thoughtfully. "We can all take our own
notes then get together for weekly meetings to share and confer."
"Awesome." Webster says, grinning broadly. "I'll bring biscuits. And fire
whiskey. For the meeting. And stuff."
I try to protest but my friends just ignore me and begin to enthusiastically
discuss their plan to spy on Astrid.
I bring my knees up and hide my face in them with a groan.
Nothing about this can end well. And I just know that at least one of us is
going to end up getting expelled for being caught hanging upsidown from the
roof with night vision goggles or some shit.
Merlin, save me.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you to everyone for reading!
     Special shout out to anyone who took the time to comment or kudos-YOU
     ARE AMAZING, THANK YOU SO MUCH! MY SPECIAL LITTLE UNICORN SPARKLES OF
     CHEWY MARSHMALLOWY GOODNESS AND STUFF! XOXOX
End Notes
     Mwah ha! So first chapter over, what did you think? Like it? Loathe
     it? Let me know!
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
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